Season 1 Redux: will be LoVe, LoVe, LoVe
by bluebel703
Summary: Starts at the pilot. Duncan convinces Veronica to let him help with the investigation. When Logan joins the 3 characters discover heart-break, friendship and who killed Lilly Kane. There is Duncan/Veronica friendship but it's all about the Love
1. We used to be friends

Season 1, Episode 1:

A/N: This is more of a prologue as it is very close to the show…the AU starts next chapter when the surf competition actually happens so keep reading folks!

I expected the glares. My witty retorts were ready, my emotions suppressed and my left foot out of the LeBaron. Nothing came. It was the first day of school. I was expecting at least a piece of road kill in my parking spot. My enemies weren't going soft were they? It would be major piss-off considering I wasted good money on an extra spare tire, surface cleaner and combat boots. The masses were, instead, focused on the flagpole. Being short and all I couldn't make out exactly the situation but being a PI and having gone to Neptune since freshman year I figured that some poor sod was taped to the flagpole. As usual I was right. The kid was new. I felt bad. I cut him down. I could hear the whisper as I sliced through the duct tape.

"_Is she doing him too?"  
"When did she start carrying a knife?" "I heard she had to cause she like lives in the ghetto now?"_

My peers are nothing if not consistent. Regardless of the amount of eyes on me I only felt one pair. Duncan Kane, he used to be my boyfriend. That was of course before he stopped talking to me. Usually when one says that it implies there was a falling out, a dumping and then silent treatment, not cool but still somewhat acceptable in the world of high school. What Duncan Kane did was way less cool. One minute he's calling me baby, the next he's calling me nothing.

"Thanks" The kid smiles at me (he's new) and accepts my jacket to tie around his waist.  
"Don't worry I know it's cold outside" I respond with a smile and walk away leaving him bug eyed with his jaw unhinged in shock. Bitchy, maybe but I gave him my jacket and cut him down. Really pushing him away before he hears a rumor about how he slept with me and caught some sort of venereal disease is doing him a favor in the long run. The slut comments would be funny if they weren't so ridiculous. I would tell the sordid tale of how I lost my virginity but that would require me to actually remember the event. No I don't mean that in a tequila-and-prom-night-way I mean that in the woke-up-in-the-morning-alone-looking-for-my-underwear way. Let's just say I'm swearing off sex for the foreseeable future. It's reassuring to know that I am getting tons of action in an alternate universe though.

The day is unremarkable. I've been placed in journalism, against my will because Miss James feels that I am "passionless and disconnected". Please. As much as it's against my will I'm good with a camera and quick with words, it shouldn't be too bad. This realization is short-lived however as I come eye-to-eye, well really eye-to-chest with Logan Echolls. Every school has an obligatory psychotic jackass, he's ours. Devil child of Lynn and Aaron Echolls, Hollywood's golden couple, more money than God and less affection than a pair of spurned hookers but nobody ever saw that side of the Echolls'. One may wonder how I am privy to dark side of the Echolls. I'm really not, call it a gut feeling, call it good PI eyes or simply call it Logan-used-to-be-my-friend. It is never said out loud anymore. There was a time where I would come home from school hold a picture of us in shaking hands and say we used to be friends over and over 

again as if saying it like that would turn the used-to-be in to are. Now that part of me, and apparently that part of Logan, has been erased. I guess it wasn't really there to begin with.

He stops just short of hitting me, sneers wordlessly and heads over to Duncan. I guess time doesn't heal old wounds. I guess I won't be getting my welcome-back-hug.

"Veronica I need you to take pictures of the surf competition at Gold Coast this weekend" Mrs Dent said handing breaking me out of my Logan-induced nostalgia.

"Sure." I try not laugh as she attempts to show me how to use a 32-millimeter camera. A few minutes into her speech I decide that I like her and put her out of her misery showing her, rather demonstratively that I know how to use a goddamn camera.

"Let me introduce you to your partner. Duncan Kane" Duncan looks up from his seat obviously uncomfortable. I wish I could say that this was the most awkward experience with Duncan. It probably wasn't. "I've arranged for you to drive with one of the competitor's parents" Mrs. Dent is so obviously oblivious to the tension in this twisted little threesome.

"I'll drive"

"Me too" I practically yell. She studies us for a second before mumbling something about the oil crisis and walking away. The lunch bell ringing has seldom sounded so good.

My table is located not too conspicuously across from the 09'er table. I set up camp last year when I figured I was only on sabbatical from the prestigious table. When I realized the change was permanent it was where I was able to reflect on the change, watch Logan and Duncan and imagine Lilly. Now I'm kind of attached to it not to mention the vantage point has many advantages. A few months ago I would never have imagined not sitting at the table across from me because Duncan was more than a boyfriend, he was the brother of Lilly Kane, my best friend. My now dead best friend. Lilly was the most vivacious person I had ever met a blonde haired, blue-eyed goddess. She wasn't always kind and was almost never fair but she was fiercely loyal and ruled Neptune High by the side of Logan Echolls, her boyfriend. 11 months 2 weeks and 5 days ago she was bludgeoned to death by, well I guess that's what the question is. By whom? According to my father, the sheriff at the time, that matter is still unresolved but according to Neptune, it was Abel Kontz. A disgruntled Kane employee cut unceremoniously from Lily's father's, Jake Kane, streaming video project to which half of Neptune owes their fortune. When my father went after Neptune's own billionaire golden boy the town was in uproar. He had a choice, change his suspects or change careers. Shortly after my friends gave me a choice change my Dad's mind or change friends. We both chose the former and it's a decision I live with every day.

"Are you ok? You look hypnotized or something." I snap my head towards the person who rudely interrupted my pity party. The guy from the flag pole? The grape vine must be slow today if he's still talking to me.

"Did I say you could sit here?" I growl with more venom then necessary. The half-defeated, half-angry look he shots me as he gets up to leave causes a small wave of guilt to roll through me.

"Wait, Sit wherever you want." I'm pleasantly surprised he wants to sit here.

"So, how did you end up on the pole?" Apperantly I'm not one for seques. My new friend Wallace apperantly had the brilliant idea to half-turn in the PCH bike club after they robbed him at the sack-and-pack. Since the sheriffs have a video of the theft his attempt to lie about 'accidently' pushing the silent alarm did little to pacify the local bike club who are now apparently out for blood.

"My bitch" Speak of the devil. " I thought you were supposed to wait for me at the flagpole. I don't know how I could have made that any clearer." Wallace considers this for a moment as he tries to shake off the biker's hand.

"I get it…very funny..and I guess we're even now." Oh wow this kid needs serious help.

"Even boy we're…"

"Leave him alone" For some reason this demand catches the attention of the other tables and for a moment I think I see concern flash across Logan's face. Then again it might be the Mexican he was chowing down.

"Look blondie the only time I care what a woman has to say is when she's riding my big old hog" That definitely got everyone's attention and I can see Logan pretending not to listen. How he wishes he was truly indifferent to me.

"So it's big huh?"

"Legendary" Great me engaging with the leader of a bike club about the size of his penis is going to do wonders for my reputation. Ah well if the damage is done.

"So let's see it?" Weevil apparently is easily put off. "I mean if it's really that big I'll be your girlfriend." I gasp in pretend excitement "We could go to prom together." Weevil is officially at a loss for words. "Common vato I'm on a schedule here."

"Weevil don't let blondie talk to you like that." Why oh why must gangs travel together.

"Looks like you're friend here wants to see it too." Faux-innocence. .

"Hell I'll show you mine." Oh please don't. I'm about to make some comment about forgetting a magnifying glass but penis jokes are trite and Mr. Clemmons steps in anyways. The bell rings and I've, of course, left my books in my car in anticipation of needing an excuse for an escape.

"Heya Ronnie" There is something vile about having your once-friend-now-enemy call you by his old pet name. It's a low blow made more painful by every time he used that that name with affection.

_flashback_

"_How's my favorite virgin" He says with a teasing smirk putting his legs across my lap. Duncan and Lily had gone to visit a sick aunt in Maine and that meant Logan and I have to entertain ourselves this weekend. It wasn't that Logan and I hadn't spent time alone in the past. We are friend, good friends. We sit together in classes that didn't have our 'significant other' in them, sometime we talk about 'issues' like how he thought Lily was cheating on him (which she'd never do) or how Celeste hated me. That being said Logan and I rarely spent a whole weekend alone just hanging out and, frankly, I was worried about boring him. "What no quip?" I smile and blush lightly mumbling something about watching a movie_

"_We can have Clint Eastwood marathon." He says with laughter twinkling in his eyes. It occurs to me that he hasn't looked this at ease in a long-time. Relishing the opportunity to give him some enjoyment when I knew he was worrying about Lily's 'fidelity' I readily agree nestling into the couch preparing for a hours of machoism._

"_Logan." I hear Logan's father Aaron yell from the hallways his voiced laced with a level of anger I didn't know parents even possessed for their kids. The door swung open with a bang revealing a shaking mad Aaron. Nervously I look to Logan all the sparkle had left his eye and his previously jovial expression was quickly replaced with a mask of cold indifference._

"_Hi Mr. Echolls?" I said with a tentative smile hoping that my presence will stop Logan for getting yelled at._

"_Veronica how are you?" He smiles that creepy two-million dollar smiles and his face softens slightly. _

"_Good, uh, Logan and I were just about to head out actually." I will myself to maintain eye contact as I lie through my teeth. I can feel Logan's eyes boring on me. "We have a journalism project due tomorrow and we need some pictures of the beach for an article on Neptune's cleaner beaches project." I smile sweetly and start to pack my bag like the couch was a temporary thing._

"_Of course, Logan I'll deal with you later." Logan gives him a mock salute and falls backwards on the couch. Eyes shut tight, tension draining out of his system as the footsteps move futher away._

"_I guess we're going to the beach." I say with a nervous giggle throwing his car keys at him. He looks at me intently for a moment with a look of something akin to wonder and gratitude in his eyes._

"_You're a good friend Ronnie."_

_end flashback_

"Ronnie?" I snap my head back at him as he coasts beside me in his yellow monstrosity he calls a car. Duncan is sitting in the passenger seat looking out the window so he won't risk looking at me. He thinks like an ostrich, if he can't see me, I can't see him.

"Some of us were thinking that we'd rather surf than study today you want to come with." My grandma once told me that if you ignore the bullies they'd leave you alone. I don't reply.

"Duncan will even take off his shirt does that sweeten the pot." Wow a Duncan dig, and Echolls used to be my most original tormentor. "Does that make you horny?" This is me choosing not to dignify that with a response. I keep walking, if he wants to get a rise out of me he's going to have to do better than that.

"How about a little hooch, huh?" He dangled his flask out the window and I stare at him like he has just offered me cyanide. I think it's safe to say I've learned my lesson about accepting drinks from 09ers. "Common aren't you your mother's daughter." That makes me stop. Logan Echolls has a moral code and our war has rules. We leave Lily, mothers and past secrets out of it. The aim was always to cause flesh wounds, the kind that hurt but healed quickly so the next attack could continue. Logan Echolls does not stoop to insult my mother. "Do you know where she is these days?" There is intent to kill in his eyes. He doesn't want to inflict simple flesh wounds anymore, he wants me dead. "Any clue?" If it's possible his eyes harden more. I'm about to snap back about his mother. Mine may have run out after Lily's death and may be an alcoholic but that doesn't take away the fact that his mom is a pill popping junkie who talked to Logan like he was a distant cousin. I can't do it. Duncan grabs Logan's shirt and tells him to leave me alone, a gesture I would have appreciated more if he had done it the first time. I watch as Logan zooms off content to think he's won this round. _Fine Logan you want the kid gloves off, fine by me. _

I walk up to my table where my new friend/acquaintance/guy-who-hasn't-heard-malicious-rumors-yet is and take a seat.

"Girl, you should hear what people are saying about you." Now if that doesn't put someone on the defensive than I don't know what does.

"Then why are you sitting here." I grumble pretending not to care about yet another person thinking I'm a skank.

"You sat with me" he objects and I roll my eyes.

"This is my table." I snark and grab my lunch out.

"And what a fine table it is." He mocks knocking on the plastic surface. "What do you think this is made from? Oak?"

"Look if people are saying such awful things." I resist the urge to ask what the rumors are. That would imply I care, that I let the rumors effect me.

"Look I figure I have a choice. I can sit with the people who laughed and took pictures of me on the pole. Or I can sit with the girl who cut me down." This kid suddenly raises multiple points in my book and I figure that hey a friend could be a nice development. I guess that means I have to keep him alive.

"So do you want to get the PCHers off your back?" We share a smile and brief flash of solidarity. Maybe this year will be better.

The plan is wonderful if I do say so myself. Corny builds a bong for me to stash in Logan's locker in preparation for his 'random' locker search. Funny, yes, helping Wallace, kind of. The firecracker in the bong explodes in the evidence room ensuring Logan's innocence and allowing the friendly local fire chief to switch the tables clearing the PCHers. Helping the criminal element is good for the soul. Victory is sweet and the celebration involves me, Wallance and a toy plane which he is desperately trying to teach me to loop-the-loop. All pretense of normal and fun is dropped when I see Logan laying on the hood of my car crowbar in hand surrounded be 09er goons. I don't know if I should be alarmed or proud that he brought back-up.

"Veronica Mars" Well at least it's not Ronnie. "You know what your little joke cost me?" Knowing his parents, nothing.

"Well I'm assuming you won't be getting your bong back." He looks at me for a second as if weighing his options than smashes my headlight with a crowbar.

"Care to guess again." It wouldn't be too hard to stop this. Logan isn't a cold person. A sincere apology a tear and some picking at that indefinable time where we used to be friends he would walk away. He wouldn't apologize or offer to pay but I know he'd feel bad enough to leave the other headlight alone.

"Apparently your sense of humor" My days of pacifying Logan are over he wants a challenge I'll give him a challenge. I won't insult Lynn because I'm a better person than he is and because I like her but if he thinks I'm going to look up with watery eyes and apologize anymore he's wrong. This revelation gets me another broken head-light.

"No my car. My daddy took my T-bird away" I resist the urge to roll my eyes, all this over a car. "and you know what I won't be having? Fun, fun fun." He looks straight into my eyes peering down on my menacingly. If I didn't know Logan better I think he's trying to imply the crowbar is going to be used on me. I smirk back up at him. Logan never has and never will hit a woman that's the least of my worries. The bikers pull up along side the car. Surprisingly Logan steps in front of me and I wonder where he got his enemies-for-dummies guide because defending them 

against biker gangs makes the whole hate thing kind of a hard sell. Surprisingly Weevil is there to defend me and ends up taking the tire iron to the 09ers SUV.

"Head for the hills" As the others leave he gruffly grabs Logan. "Except for you. You apologize." I fight the urge to laugh and I'm pretty sure all three of us know that's not going to happen. Logan looks at me

"Kiss my as.." Weevil punches him hard in the gut and he doubles over. He stands up quickly looking even angrier. This is about to get really bad really soon and as much as Logan drives me crazy I don't really want to see him a bloody mess. Weevil asks him to apologize again.

"Rub a lamp" before I can interject Weevil's fist connects hard with Logan's nose and I resist the urge to run over and help him to his feet.

"I don't want his apology." I insist quickly before the vigilante justice continues. After reassuring Weevil and begging Logan with my eyes to just take it and go I return home filled with dread about the surf competition Duncan and I get to cover.


	2. One man's trash

A/N: I own nothing to do with Veronica Mars

Episode Description:

Season1Ch2:

"Hey Cliffy" I say leaning on the door to my dad's office. Cliff was a seedy but loveable public defender who traded favors with my sheriff-turned-PI father. He quickly fills me in on case details explaining that Weevil's grandmother, who worked as a maid for the Echolls, has been arrested for stealing unlimited credit card offers from the Echolls trash, an accusation that neither the Echolls nor the Sheriff believe.

"It got to be the kid Weevil Navarro." My father says ruffling through a pile of files before landing on Weevil's. "The first time I picked him up he was 12." I was about to protest when my Dad told me to take point on the case since I went to school with him.

The second I got in school the gossip was a buzz. Logan Echolls had been sniffing around Caitlin Ford for the last few weeks and now she finally snagged him. Everyone expected a reaction from me. Lily Kane's boyfriend had moved on, would her best friend avenge the new relationship? Personally I thought it was ridiculous if Logan had seriously moved on and was ready to get serious with another girl more power to him. I hate Logan but not enough to wish for him to be forever plagued by a dead girlfriend who caused him enough pain alive. Personally it is my belief that Logan hasn't moved on. Every time Logan looked at Lily it was like he was seeing her for the first time. His eyes held amazement and wonder because Lily Kane was never predictable. She challenged Logan causing him to love her so fiercely that he allowed himself to be played like a poker hand. Caitlin was blonde and filled the stereotype completely. She and Logan were a business arrangement, a way for Caitlin to have status and a way for Logan to forgo having to deal with girls he may have deeper feelings for. They walked towards me in the hallway hand-in-hand and Logan held my eye as if daring me to say that this act was betraying Lily. Part of me knew it was the perfect way to inflict pain on him, to mock him about having so easily replaced Lily Kane. However Lily was never a part in our war and I knew better than anyone that Logan has not replaced her, he was trying to survive. I guess this realization made me remember his pain and remembering his pain made me lock eyes with him and give a nod of solidarity which to anyone else would have looked like me lowering my eyes in avoidance. He held my eyes and almost smiled before Caitlin pulled him away to look at her new pink vespa scooter. Oh yeah this was Logan officially taking the easy route.

The rest of the day was uneventful exempting, of course, the fateful flat tire. When I previously mentioned that Logan, although venomous, was at least mildly entertaining in his attacks, I should have clarified that the same cannot be said for the 09er goons who don't understand that letting the air out of my tires is only semi-funny the first time.

"Bummer" Logan said not attempting to hide his smirk. Unimpressed and pissed off I yank the tire iron out of my trunk and try to imagine exactly what Logan would do if I smashed in the headlights on his precious Xterra.

"Flat?" A boy I recognized as a new 09er asked. Great get the new kids to come rub it in,

"Just as god made me" I fire back. He kneels down beside me and somewhat gently takes the tire iron out of my hands.

"Here let me help." The last time an 09er was nice to me was Lily's funeral. Considering that was a hell of a long time ago I'm not too sure how to react. "I'm Troy by the way." I reluctantly shake his extended hand watching as Caitlin throws me a look that could be construed as jealously and Logan just looks confused.

"Veronica" I watch as Logan drags Caitlin closer to him and whisper something in her ear the way he'd always do to Lily whenever he got possessive.

"Ah that does make more sense." He says with a smile. "You should never listen to those guys I mean who names their daughter Trampy McBitch?" This actually manages to make me laugh and I can help but notice that he is actually kind of good looking. "So are you always this persnickety"

"Sometimes I'm even persnicketier" I sigh audibly as he continues to work the tire iron. "I am supposed to be taking pictures in Gold Coast in an hour and with the deadline…"

"Veronica you need a ride?" I look up suddenly to see Duncan standing over me looking neither happy nor upset to have to spend a ½ hour drive with me. This is the first time I haven't instinctively known he was there and I wonder if that means something. That I, like Logan, need to try to get past last year.

"Go ahead I'll take it from here" Troy says earnestly and although trusting an 09er with my car is probably not a smart move he seems nice enough.

"Chivalry not dead, good to know." Duncan laughs smacking Troy in the back as I smile in thanks. "Common I'm parked over here." I feel all eyes on me as I walk across the parking lot but none quite so piercing as Logan's. I refuse to turn around and acknowledge the snickers and I climb in to the car to endure what may well be the longest 30 minutes of my life.

To make time go faster and to avoid the building tension in the car I start pouring over Weevil's permanent files, class schedule and browser history. Finally I find what I'm looking for.

"Hey Dad?" I say into my phone as Duncan looks sideways at me trying to pretend not to eavesdrop

"Weevil isn't our guy. I cross-referenced his browser history with the class schedule there's no way he could have done it there is no Internet connection in shop."

"What about Logan?" My Dad responds and I can see Duncan tense telling me he's heard my father over the phone.

"I can check but this isn't really Logan's MO. He has no motive and honestly I don't think he would steal from his parents especially not Lynn."

"Check him anyways ok sweetie you never know." I grunt in response trying to both assure my father I'd do the job and convince Duncan I didn't think his best friend was a thief. Duncan stops looking at me after that and the silence is as thick as the LA smog when we park at the beach. I snap pictures, Duncan asks questions and an hour later we are back to uncomfortable silence in the car. Suddenly the sounds of sirens in the distance catch my attention and Duncan grumbles under his breath and pulled over. He hands the officer his license and registration without having to be asked and shoots me a what-the-hell-is-going-on-look.

"I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the car please." The officer asked giving us a suspicious once-over.

"Uh is something wrong officer?" Duncan was clearly frustrated and confused by this point.

"I have an impound notice on the vehicle." We both step out of the car. The officer was new and obviously didn't realize he had just pulled over the son of the most powerful man in Neptune or the ex-sheriff's daughter. That had more cache without the ex. Duncan goes to talk to the officer and I hang back respectively remembering the last time I had a run in with Neptune's finest. Shelley Pomroy's end of the year party was one of the biggest events of the school year. It was open to anyone but generally the non-09ers stayed away. I decided to go prove to everyone that their whispers and backstabbing didn't effect me. It was a mistake. I woke up the next morning sore and wondering why my underwear was on the floor. The searing between my legs answered that. Immediately I went to the sheriff's department to report the crime. Let's just Sheriff Lamb was less than understanding

_flashback_

"_What do you want me to do you have left me without a shred of evidence to work with here but then again that doesn't matter to your family does it?" he sneers leaning back in his chair. "How bout I just round up the sons of the most powerful men in Neptune?" I could feel the tears collecting in my eyes and suddenly one slipped out puddling on my dress. I couldn't help but think that that dress now probably had every one of my bodily fluids on it. That made me cry harder._

"_And she cries." Lamb said rolling his eyes. "I tell you what Veronica. How about you go see the wizard. Ask for some guts."_

_end flashback_

"Can I ask you something?" I didn't even notice Duncan had slid up beside me. Grateful for the distraction I forced a smile and nodded.

"Of course." Duncan considered this for a second and I began to feel nervousness seep through me.

"Do you really think Logan is responsible for credit card fraud" Well at least I was kind of expecting that one. I placed my hands on the hood of the car locking my elbows as if I was going to jump off then slowly explained.

"Logan has access and most likely opportunity but he lacks motive." It was the right answer, detached and succinct, unfortunately it totally did not satisfy Duncan who just looks at me waiting for me to continue. Finally I give in"I don't think that Logan would steal from his own mother Duncan but that response doesn't satisfy customers or juries. I have to prove or disprove his involvement."

"You take this whole PI thing seriously don't you." Duncan seems to be considering something bigger and I really wish he would just get to it. I just shrug and nod.

"Do you think my father killed Lily?" Well that's an awkward question. I let out an exasperated sigh obviously showing my discomfort. Duncan just continued staring at me ,waiting for my response like before. That's the thing with ex-boyfriends they know you. They know how to make you smile, how to hurt you and most of all, they know how to make you talk.

"I don't know who killed your sister Duncan. I just know it wasn't Abel Koontz." Duncan nods slowly as if trying to decide whether this piece of information made the situation better or worse.

"I want to help" was his calm detached response. Actually calm and detached was the only way to describe Duncan these days and I'm pretty sure this was the closest he has come to making a decision since Lily died. I looked at him imploringly. "Lily's death you are still looking into it right." I gave a careful nod surprised he figured that out. "I don't think Koontz killed her either." For a moment I just stare at him bug-eyed and with my jaw almost hitting the ground. Duncan agrees with my father and he wants to help with the investigation. There were definitely problems with this. First off it was his sister, anything we uncover is going to upset him, he had no experience at investigating and he is a potential suspect. Then again I can say with 99.9 certainty that Duncan would never kill Lily. They were so different and they didn't always get along but they loved and protected each other. There were also benefits. Duncan could get information from his parents I couldn't dream of getting, he could bug the house, access files and be someone else to bounce ideas off of. Plus I couldn't help but notice the mix of hope and despair as he looked at me.

"There are conditions." Duncan let out a relieved sigh. "First of all I need to know what changed your mind. " Duncan agreed and was about to grab something out of his pocket before I continued "Secondly I need to know why you broke up with me and why you did it that way." His face pales and he is about to interject but I cut him off again. "Duncan I can't work on a case like this with someone I don't trust completely." I wait for his reluctant nod of agreement before I continued. "Thirdly this case may, and probably will, take some pretty nasty turns. I need to know you can handle that." Duncan looks at his hands for a moment considering what I meant.

"I will do anything to find her killer." I took in a deep breath

"If it was one of your parents" I feel bad for even suggesting this knowing the loyalty he feels to both his parents and to Lily. He looks me straight in the eye with intensity I have never seen before and I was sure he was going to deny that his parents could possibly have anything to do with his sister's death.

"I'll help nail them to the wall." Is his only response before turning away as if he is embarrassed by this admission and for the first time in a long time I see the flicker of the Duncan I used to love. He hands me the impound notice on the car.

"She ran a red light at 6:52" There is a picture of Lily smiling and singing to a song on the radio. It didn't even look like she had noticed she ran the light.

"That puts her time of death 4 hours off." I say with awe tracing the picture of Lily with my fingertips as if the curve of her face would give me answers. Duncan nodds in agreement letting out a heavy sigh looking horribly defeated. Maybe it was the picture of Lily or the realization that Duncan was still a good person that made me put my hand on his back and rub it softly the way I used to when he got upset while we were dating. His shoulders relaxed at my touch and he looked more at ease then I have seen him in a while. For a split-second I wonder who was there to do this for him when Lilly died. Maybe not this exact method of comfort but something to try to erase the empty, hollow look in his eyes. Celeste was too busy writing thank you notes for the condolence casseroles and making donations in Lily's name. Jake was busy lying to the law and getting my father kicked out of office and Logan. Logan was a mess.

"I don't think anyone should know that we're working together." I said suddenly breaking the calm that broke out between. The gentle comfort was too much like when we were dating and nothing like that could happen if I were to remain objective about Lily's murder.

"Why?" Duncan was clearly confused and for a moment I was grateful that he was willing to tell the world that I was possibly right.

"First off your parents can't suspect it. Secondly if the guilty party is at Neptune and knows we're getting serious about solving this, things could end badly. Finally people don't like change and people who are more comfortable have looser lips." Duncan slides of the hood of his car and starts pacing almost angrily but his emotions don't exactly surface these days.

"So I'm supposed to sit there and let Logan and everyone else treat you like shit?" He clearly has a problem with this and kicks a rock to the side.

"Yes"

"I can't do that." That pisses me of and I slide of the car to face him.

"Apparently you can apathy is your thing these days." He looks like he is considering telling me something and then walks away thinking better of it.

"I'm sorry. It was just Lily died and Logan was so mad and he took it out on you and I was pissed too." He pauses to take a breath. "I didn't think it would turn out like this." If there is anything I've learned over the past year it's that people make mistakes. Forgiveness is not my thing. If you forgive easily people stomp all over because they know all they need are two magic words and they're back on track. Then again Duncan lost a sister and, recently, his assurance that his parents weren't involved. Logan was so wrapped up in hating me he failed to notice Duncan has reverted to shell of a person. If anyone deserved to be forgiven for losing their way this year it's Duncan.

"It's ok Duncan. It's been a hard year." He nods in agreement still staring at the ticket. "But you need to act the same at school." He's about to protest but I put up my hand immediately to stop him. "If it makes you feel better you specifically haven't done much. Just leave it alone I can handle Logan." He's obviously not happy about this but doesn't have time to argue as our parents pull up alongside us. They share awkward pleasantries and Duncan quickly shoves the ticket in my hand before we go our separate ways.

In the car I explain the whole scenario to my father, Duncan's plea to help, the ticket and the undercover nature of our strictly professional relationship. My father seems wary about Duncan but agrees that a Kane insider may be the only way to crack the case.

"Dad can we make a stop?" I convince him to take me to the Neptune Grande so I can check up on the biggest charge on the credit card, a hotel room. A tearful I'm-pregnant-and-don't-know-who-the-guy-is performance gets me a list of charges and there it is, a room service charge billed to Caitlin Ford. Maybe I was wrong about Logan being above credit card fraud.

"I know it was you." I say sitting down beside Logan. He looks up from the article he's working on and shots me a look of surprise with just a hint of hatred.

"What was me" If I'm not mistaken he actually seems confused. Logan was a crap actor. Most people thought he was mysterious and had the ability to mask all emotions. This proves how well his 'friends' know Logan Echolls. His eyes are an open book to anyone who understands the language. The 10 years of friendship has made me fluent and right now he honestly has no idea what's going on.

"You stole your mom's credit cards." Still confusion now with a splash of murderous intent and hurt. "But you made a mistake letting Caitlin sign for the room service tab." Logan seems even more taken aback by this but quickly covers it with a scowl.

"Great prove it." He growls picking up his books and stomping over to another computer. He didn't do it. The eyebrows flying up in surprise gave him away. So that leaves Caitlin and who. My heart constricted in a very nasty way. Logan's first girl was murdered and now the first girl he reluctantly opens himself up to is stealing and cheating on him. That's going to do wonders for him. I reluctantly start punching in the numbers charged to the hotel room. They lead to nothing and the last one is busy. Resigned I call my Dad and force him to run it through the system quickly.

"That number belongs to Chardo Navarro." Caitlin has been cheating on Logan with Chardo? Sighing I look over at Logan as he fake laughs at one of her jokes. He knows, or if he doesn't, he suspects it. I've seen that look before.

_flashback_

"_Hey lovah" Lilly cooed sliding easily into Logan's lap before kissing him hard and passionately in front of the table. I shifted my eyes from the couple to Duncan's face and ran my hand down his cheek. Smiling as he wordlessly pressed his forehead against mine._

"_Explain." Logan placed a pair of boxers in Lilly's lap his eyes flaring up in anger and hurt. Duncan and I nervously look away from each and focus on our best friends about to start World War III_

"_God Logan you are such drama queen we were broken up." Lily says still on his lap stealing a tater top off his plate. Logan stood up with Lily still on his lap almost causing her to crash to the ground. This was going to end badly. _

"_We break up for a few days and you sleep with another guy." Logan fires back the hurt and mistrust evident in his eyes. "And here I choose not to believe the slut rumors." Duncan shoots Logan a warning glance and he immediately looks apologetic._

"_Look who grew a backbone." Lilly says coolly grabbing the boxers off the bench. "Someone's got to keep me satisfied. It's not my fault you spent all last week with mommy dearest." Logan's face turns red and he stalks off in anger._

"_Lilly." I breathe disapprovingly. We all knew that Logan's mom had gone extra hard with the pills and alcohol since Aaron returned last week. We also all knew how much it hurt Logan. To her credit Lilly immediately looked guilty and upset._

"_Duncan I want to go home" She barely whispers walking towards the parking lot without waiting for Duncan's response. _

"_I'll go find Logan." I reassure him at his apprehensive expression. He nods and kisses my cheek before following Lily to the parking lot. I sigh and run off after Logan. There are a few things that one does not bring up in front of Logan, his mother's alcoholism is probably number one. I find him standing by his locker in the empty hallway, head bowed as he breathes deeply desperately trying to collect himself. _

"_Logan." I tentatively place a hand on his shoulder. If there is one thing Logan hates it's pity and even the suggestion that he may need a sympathetic shoulder. The locker has a small dent and a couple flecks of blood on it. One look at his battered and bloody hand tells me the reason. I sigh and start rubbing his back suddenly more sure of myself. "Common let's get you cleaned up." He doesn't protest when I take him to the nurse's station or when I wait for him to get bandaged up. _

_end flashback_

I corner Chardo before Logan can get to him. The last thing Logan needs right now is for his father to find out he's been fighting on campus. That man's lectures would put Logan in such a bad mood that he would completely shut down for a day or two before returning to normal. Turns out Chardo believes Caitlin Ford is the love of his life. It doesn't take much to get the truth out him and I race to Weevil's in time for the homecoming.

"I hear you're to thank for this Kodak moment" Weevil says before hugging me. I have never hugged the leader of a biker gang before, let's just say it's weird.

"Look Logan and the 09ers are out looking for Chardo." I don't know how Weevil is going to react in this situation. On the one hand I don't think he'd like Logan beating up a member of his crew they have too much of a Montague Capulet thing going on for Weevil to see Logan's side in all this so I figure it's best to stop it before someone gets hurt.

"He won't be the only one" Weevil says with a sad smile.

"Look I know you hate Logan." Weevil raises his eyebrows waiting for me to continue. "A word of advice let him get one punch in tell him that she's not worth more and Chardo betraying you is a bigger deal. He'll let you take him if he knows you can do worse." Weevil nods and I leave.

So all and all it's been a pretty busy day. Troy flirts with me incessantly, Duncan wants to help solve Lily's murder, Logan got what little he gave Caitlin thrown back in his face and I still need the answer to my billion dollar question. Why did Duncan break up with me?

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	3. It's about time

A/N: I do not own Veronica Mars (if I did I wouldn't be playing make believe with RT's characters)

Episode summary: Duncan finally explains why he broke up with her. Two old friends are forced together by an accident. Veronica finally opens up when she learns a hard truth about her mom.

Season 1 Episode 3:

I try to convince myself I don't care how Caitlin's betrayal affects Logan, that I don't notice he's turned even meaner and more closed off. Honestly, it takes all the willpower I have to not at least send him a sympathetic smile. Duncan slides up beside him and a bit of relief fills me as I watch their easy conversation and Duncan's attempts to coax a smile out of Logan. Caitlin walks up to the table and is immediately shunned by the rest of the 09ers. Their defense of Logan is mostly fake, they're following orders but Duncan's sympathetic clap on the back is real as is Dick's venomous 'leave' demand the only one to verbalize the rest of the table's actions. For some reason it is good to know people are looking out for him since my days of dragging Logan through life's misery's are over.

"Guess what I'm doing this weekend." Troy says sliding up beside me. The blue on his shirt brings out his piercing eyes and I can feel my heart tighten in my chest. Maybe I'm ready to move on after all.

"I'm guessing it involves auto-eroticism?"

"Close." He leans in closer smiling "I will be cruising the marina in my dad's Sabre 386. That's a luxury sailboat by the way." The bell rings and we both start to walk towards class his arm casually brushing mine as he continues "You know wind through my hair, Stokes blasting through the speakers and, with any luck, a wide-eyed impressionable vixen by my side."

"Impressionable me? Ha" I say with a teasing smile. We both stop and he looks at me feigning offence.

"Wo-wo-wo-woah I said impressionable not you. You know you might want to check your ego at the door there missy." He winks before running off in the other direction leaving me staring after him. Of course me standing in a crowded hallway means some asshole sending my books flying. I grumble under my breath before leaning down to pick them up. It's not like this is the first time someones sent my books flying. A pair of knees come in to view and then there is Duncan beside me picking up an English lit book. He smiles at me before handing them off and I notice a letter on top. I give a small nod to acknowledge both my thanks and my recognition of the letter.

I slink into the library avoiding Logan's calculating stare as I brush past him. What exactly was he trying to pull? Knowing it was useless to try and contemplate the inner workings of Logan's mind I slide next to Wallace. I reluctantly had told Wallace about being in cahoots with Duncan I need someone to trust at this school and more importantly I need someone to talk sense into me if I start being blind to facts because of Duncan. He understood both his job and the reason him staying quiet was so important.

"That from your partner in crime" Wallace asks with a grin as he points at the note. I nod mutely before opening it.

_Veronica,_

_Meet me after school for condition 2 of our agreement. My Car. _

_-Duncan_

"He's going to explain why he broke up with me." Wallace shakes his head and I get a flood of nervous butterflies.

"Girl this is going to end so bad."

"Yup" I try to study lit but it doesn't work and soon enough the bell rings letting me know it is time for my covert meeting with my ex-boyfriend so he can explain the whole ex thing. This was definitely not going to end well.

I hang back 15 minutes to avoid the rest of the student body before rushing out to his car making sure no one was watching before I slid into the passenger seat. Duncan was sitting beside me looking pale, beads of sweat building up around his brow.

"Lay it on me." Duncan squeeze his eyes shut and I realize for the first time he is trying to hold back tears. I gently place a hand over his. "Duncan whatever it is it's done I won't be mad, it won't affect your sister's case and I may get upset but I'll get over it." He nods and turns to me as though he is going to begin to speak. His face suddenly twists in panic and he holds his fingers out in a one second gesture before running out of the car. He makes it a few steps before he empties the contents of his stomach. Immediately I hop out of the passenger seat and run up beside him. Luckily most of the students were gone and no one was in the parking lot. He crouched down on the balls of his feet and continued hurling. Cautiously I rub his back as he dry heaves a few time. He's shaking slightly but seems to be done throwing up. There is nothing that makes a girl feel better than causing a guy to puke his guts out.

"Better?" I crouch down beside him handing him a water bottle out of his backpack. He took a swig then stood up nodding.

"Must have been something I ate." He was so lying. Why would Duncan lie about being sick?

"Common I'll drive you home?" I instinctively put my hand on his elbow to steady him as he swayed dangerously. He was about to argue but thought better of it as I shot him a daring glance.

"Why don't we go to your house we can finish the talk and look at the evidence you have to show me." I look at him pointedly knowing he is not that excided to look at pictures of his dead sister and even less so to finish the talk with me. He sighs at my knowing look. "And I kind of don't want to face my parents right now." He shivers obviously getting the chills from whatever this is and I figure that I'm probably better equipped to deal with him than Celeste is anyways. From all the times I've seen Duncan sick she wasn't exactly compassionate.

_flashback_

"_Hey baby." I say quickly dropping a kiss on his hot forehead. "Feeling better?" He shakes his head pathetically before leaning over to vomit in a nearby trashcan. I rub his back and murmur soothingly as he continues to hurl. _

"_Great way to spend our anniversary huh?" He shoots me and apologetic look before accepting the glass of water I took off the nightstand. _

"_Don't worry about that just get some rest." I pull the covers up to his chin as he signs dejectedly "We'll celebrate when you're better." I grab a wet washcloth in the ensuite and return to his bed. He leans in to the feel of the cool water on his feverish face as I press the cold cloth to his forehead._

"_Duncan?" Celeste shrieks from the hall. I cringe inwardly knowing how much she did not want me dating her son. She walks in the room and looks at her sick son and doting girlfriend with disdain. "Veronica must you baby him?" Duncan's about to defend me but I silence him with a squeeze of his hand. "Duncan dear make sure you don't get sick on the carpets we just had them cleaned."_

_end flashback_

"Alright I'll take you home. Try not to puke in my car." He opens his mouth to reassure me then ends up hurling on the side of the road. Not a convincing argument. I reach into my backpack and take the plastic bag containing my runners out. I re-stuff the shoes and hand the bad to Duncan. "I'll drive easy." The drive home is silent but comfortable. Somewhat miraculously Duncan manages to keep everything in his stomach and I try not to give him reason to open his mouth. We stumble in to the apartment Duncan gripping my shoulder as he recovers from another dizzy spell.

"Maybe I should take you to a doctor" I say as I dump him on the couch. I crouch down on the balls of my feet some I'm eye-to-eye with him. Without thinking I cup his cheek and check the temperature of his damp forehead. "You don't have a fever"

"I'm fine really." He says his voice sounding stronger than before. "Let's go through the files."

"Not before you tell me why you dumped me." Sure it sounds a little desperate but my job is getting information and I intend to know the full story behind Duncan's sudden change of heart

"This is going to be life-altering." Duncan warned looking, if possible, even paler. "I advise you just leave it." I open my mouth to protest but he cuts me off. "But I know that's not you." He takes a deep breath and starts fidgeting with the couch pillow. "I like your new place by the way." I roll my eyes unimpressed.

"Did you cheat on me?"

"What! No!"

"Are you Gay?"

"Seriously?" I look him pointedly for a moment "Of course not he scoffs"

"Duncan just spit it out it's nothing I ca…"

"You're my sister." Ok so he wasn't kidding about the life-changing. I felt my face pale. Duncan's my brother? That means my dad is not my Dad. Or my mom is not my mom? My entire life as I know it has been a lie. "Veronica." I can hear the cautious tone in his voice as he scoots closer to me. Tears prick the corner of my eyes and I try to rethink every moment I spent with Jake. Was he different around me than Lilly's other friends? Not really. A little formal but always kind and polite, your better-than-average rich father. What did this mean for Da-Keith. Did he know? Would he care? The tears began to fall as I found myself worrying the my Dad would turn away from me. The last person I could count on. I won't be able to survive if I can't count on him anymore. I feel Duncan's arms around me and I can't be mad at him. He thought he was saving me pain. Ignorance is bliss. Sniffing I pull out of the embrace and notice the wetness and fear in Duncan's eyes. If I was going to be mad before I'm not anymore. He could have handled it better but he was scared and hurt and probably grossed out.

"At least we never had sex." He laughs and nods in agreement grateful that I wasn't yelling at him. "How did you know?"

"Celeste told me." I look at him like he has three heads. "Your mom and my Dad were having an affair." I nodded still unable to deal with the fact that my mom cheated on my father. The last good man in Neptune.

"How did she get my DNA" He raises his eyebrows at this "Oh god Duncan there was some sort of test right? You didn't just take her word for it?" Duncan goes beat red and looks down. So that's what happens when you trust your mother. Good thing I never had that problem. "Jesus Duncan. Ok first things first we need to get a real DNA test and so does my Dad." Duncan busies himself ordering an online DNA test. I let him foot the expenses on this one he's richer and lied about being my sibling the least he can do is confirm it. I grab the Lily Kane files I photocopied from Dad's safe out from under my bed and bring them out to show Duncan.

"I got us express packaging. Which means it'll be here in 2 days." I nod and sit beside him.

"This is everything I know about Lily's murder." Duncan looks down at the files and I can feel his skepticism a mile away. "Duncan if this is too hard…"

"No I'm fine just really not feeling good." His face has paled again and I think this is really a bad time to show him pictures of his sister with her skull bashed in.

"Let's do this tomorrow then." He scowls and I smile gently back at him. "The files aren't going anywhere and there are no new leads. If you don't want to go home we can watch a movie or something but this needs to be done when you're well." He nods and seems more than a little relieved. The beads of sweat are popping up on his forehead again. I walk over and gently but firmly lay him down and cover with a thin blanket. "Get some sleep Duncan." I resist the urge to caress his cheek and smooth his hair down. It's too early to be touching like that. Duncan's asleep within a few minutes alternating between snoring softly and sputtering lightly and I come to a decision right then. I knew exactly where my mother was, some Arizona trailer park 4 hours away. I needed to see her. I had a free period on Friday at the end of the day. If I left then I could go and be back in time for dinner. I needed her to talk to be to explain how she could keep something like this from me. Duncan and I could have had sex. If she had told me the moment we started dating then we would have been shocked, had a few tears and then re-established a relationship as half-siblings. Now the cut is too deep even if we weren't related and tried to date again it would always be there hovering over us. _For a year I thought you were my sister. _I shake my head trying to clear my head and firmly grab my phone dialing Troy's number.

"Hello?"

"Let's go out." Either way it was time to move on.

"Finally the girl comes to her senses." I laugh and we agree to go out tomorrow night. The flutters are there. I mean he's no Duncan but not even Duncan caused big butterflies in the beginning. Considering he may be my brother I should probably make a bigger effort to separate thoughts of bodily tingles from him. I sit on the chair beside Duncan's couch and start revamping Lily's murder files listing all the suspects and evidence in separate files pouring through the files hoping to fine something that made sense.

"Lilly. No. NO." Duncan started thrashing around on the couch I jump up immediately almost dropping my computer on the foor.

"Duncan wake up." I urgently shook his shoulder. He stared at me and took a moment before getting his bearings. "You ok?" Screw the fact that he might be my brother I can still care about him. Technically I should care about him more. He gives a tight nod.

"I gotta go." Before I can say anything he leaves. What was that about? Duncan had been acting weird the last few days. Weird in that he was more like himself. Maybe the thought of finding Lily's real killer had forced him into gear but I can't but wonder if it's something else. Sighing I place Lily's files back under her bed and started to cook dinner for my father.

"Hey Dad."

"Hey sweetie" He kisses me on the forehead before taking the plate of chicken I serve for him. There it is looming over both of us. Keith Mars may not be your father. I spend the rest of the night studying him carefully, the way he walk, the exact shade in his eyes, I even tried to con him in to trying to roll his tongue. In three days I will have the package. In six more days I will get the package back and I will know whether or not I'm a Mars. I wonder if he knew about Jake and mom. That nagging piece of information sits in the back of my brain like a lump of coal as I try to go along with Dad's light-hearted banter.

"What's up kiddo something's bothering you." I take a deep breath.

"What do you think Jake Kane was doing with mom at the Camelot last week." My father drops his fork instantly and glowers up at me.

"I thought I told you to stay away from that case?" His face turns to one of pure resolve and disappointment.

"She's only in Arizona I don't understand why you haven't been looking for.."

"Veronica! Please!" Was it possible that her father had lied to her about her paternity? That he knew about the affair? My mother lying to me I can handle. She abandoned me, drank herself to oblivion without even the slightest bit of concern for my well-being. My father is my everything. I can't lose the trust I have in him.

"How about the Padres?" Lame I know but someone had to lighten the mood. It didn't work.

The next day at school is uneventful. Duncan assures me he's feeling better and I almost believe him until I see him run to the bathroom out of the corner of my eye. Logan is standing there bemused, holding Duncan's bag and looking at me like I poured ipecac down Duncan's throat. I shoot daggers at him when I realize how stupid it is that he is standing here scowling at me while his best friend is huddled over a toilet. Knowing it's useless trying to convey this with eye contact I return my focus to Troy who is happily making plans for our date. It feels weird to date again. Duncan and I almost never dated. We also we were just together. Sometimes we were together at restaurants or at the movies but it never had that forced feeling of going on a date, probably because most of the time we were with Logan and Lily. I absent mindedly agree to meet Troy at 7.

The restaurant he picked is fancy but not overly-ostentatious . He makes me and laugh and forces me to order desert which is a good combo as far as I'm concerned. It doesn't feel like it did with Duncan but that doesn't mean it has less potential it just means it's different and I'm pretty sure that's ok. He tries to kiss me and I pull away. The moment his lips head towards mine I see Shelley's party, Duncan's face, 

Logan's accusing sneer and I swear I hear Lily let out a high-pitched ew. Troy pulls away and plays it off as a joke calling me madame and opening the car door. I should have just kissed him.

I walk into school with a new resolve. Troy may not be the love of my life but he also could be and I refuse to let my past ruin anything more.

"I think I may have given you the wrong impression." I say coming in step with Troy who looked like a cross between amused and pissed off. "It's just .."

"It's just that you need more –and you know you get to fill in the blank her – a)time b) space" Suddenly I'm kissing him. I'm kissing him and enjoying it. The tension in his shoulders that had mounted when he thought I was going to brush him off dissolved as my tongue explored his mouth. He kisses differently then Duncan which I expect. When Duncan kissed me he took his time, savoring every part of my mouth like it was a secret to uncover. Troy is quick and passionate letting his lips engulf mine as though he will never have time for another kiss. The sound of Duncan's squeal pulls me out of my thought provoking make-out session with Troy. There he was a bloody heap on the ground. I have images of broken bones and paralysis as I push Troy off and run towards Duncan. Turns out I was a little over-dramatic in my initial assessment. He's giggling and seems only slightly shaken up. I drop to my knees beside him and gently raise his head pulling back bloody fingers. Shit.

"He needs to go to the hospital" I don't even notice Logan beside me as I mumble this and it's only when he agrees and I see the panic stricken look on his face that I remember the Logan Echolls I was friends with. "We need something to put pressure on the wound." I'm about to take off my light sweater but Logan is already pressing his to Duncan's head wound.

"Common DK" Logan says helping him to his feet. "I'll take him." Logan directs at me as though I might run off with Duncan's body in his weakened state. I'm about to agree but Duncan grabs my arm and shoots me a pained look. I glance wordlessly from Logan to Duncan. "Let's go" Logan makes my decision for me and we both awkwardly help Duncan to Logan's Xterra pouring Duncan in the backseat with his head on my lap. It wasn't until we were half-way out of the parking lot that I realize I had left Troy standing there, dumbfounded. As if reading my mind Logan pipes up.

"Love 'em and leave 'em eh Veronica?" I scowl at him in the rearview mirror before turning my attention back to Duncan who is slowly losing consciousness.

"Duncan you have to stay awake." I try to avoid Logan's intense stare in the rearview mirror as I place a hand on his cheek to get his attention. He looks up and seems to be considering something very important.

"Do you remember how things used to be." I can feel Logan's eyes shift from the road back to the mirror and for a moment I want to tell him to get his stupid eyes back on the road. My anger at Duncan's question overrides my need for safe driving. How can he ask that after yesterday? Those memories are firmly suppressed not to be uncovered until the paternity results are back. "Veronica?"

"Not really. No." Duncan seems a little hurt by my vehemence and Logan quickly returns his eyes to the road. The rest of the car ride is silent and Logan doesn't look back again. We take Duncan to the emergency and call his father who dismisses us both the second he gets there.

"So I guess you need a ride?" To his almost credit Logan has been almost decent since I uncovered the credit card scandal thing.

"No."I reply icily taking out my phone. It takes me a moment to decide between Wallace and Weevil for a ride and then I remember how much Logan hates Weevil.

"Hey Weevil I need a favor." Logan stops his advancement towards his car and looks at me incredulously. He agrees and I feel a smug look of satisfaction at the look of disbelief on Logan's face.

"Don't be ridiculous get in the car." Logan says in exasperation.

"I feel safer with Weevil thanks." I'm surprised to see a mix of shock and hurt on Logan's face before his cool mask of indifference takes over. He holds up his hands in a whatever gesture and walks away shooting daggers at me before taking off. What is going on with Duncan? Since Lily's death he has been nothing more than an emotionless marionette controlled by his parents and even more influenced by Logan's rants. Fast-forward to now and he's like the old Duncan but with bigger mood-swings and more vomit. I don't get it.

Weevil brings me back to the parking lot just in time for school to let out meaning I still have time to drive to Arizona to see mom. Unfortunately she's on the run again leaving me sobbing in a Hicksville trailer park. I furiously wipe the tears from my eyes and I somehow end up in front of Troy's door.

"Hey. I'm outside your house." A light flickers on in the kitchen and a few seconds later he walks through the door a look of gentle concern etched on his face.

"It's about time." He says softly enveloping me in his strong arms and for once I'm not crying alone.

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	4. Why Nobody Visits Memory Lane

A/N: I am in no way connected with Veronica Mars

Episode Guide: What was it like before Lily died? As Homecoming approaches Logan, Duncan and Veronica remember happier times. Veronica helps a scammed friend while Logan tries to salvage the memory of his dead girlfriend.

Season 1 Episode 4:

"Only 2 more days left to buy Homecoming Tickets come and show your Pirate Pride with a date at you're side this Friday" I take a deep breath. Homecoming, fall rite of passage and social event of the first term. I have a boyfriend and a dress, I should be more excited.

"Just so I can make the appropriate arrangements Homecoming is a go right?" Troy said into my ear before kissing me on the neck. Logan looked up from his locker, Troy has obviously piqued his interest. I can feel his eyes on me and I answer affirmatively a kiss him sweetly. I see Logan roll his eyes and harden his mouth into a firm line before stomping off. Sighing I grab my books and head to class. The grapevine has informed me that Logan refused to go Homecoming and Duncan had strong reservations but was forced into it by both his parents and Shelley Pomroy. I understand their reasoning well and if it wasn't for Troy I wouldn't be going either. I've already lived the dream, everything else seems like a pale replacement

_flashback_

"_Lily. Dear everyone is waiting." Celeste said impatiently. I giggle at Logan as I film him attempting to Moonwalk in his formal attire. _

"_Geez Mars I know I'm attractive but shouldn't you be filming Donut." Laughing I flash the camera over to Duncan who was pacing impatiently waiting for Lily._

"_What the hell is she doing? How long does it take to put on a dress." Duncan said exasperated. _

"_Hm maybe not. I'll let you film me on one condition." Logan waggles his eyebrows "You admit I look hot in a tux" He twirls out of the camera and attempts to hide behind a pillar as I keep the camera trained on him._

"_Logan do you really need your ego inflated?" He grins and is about to reply when Duncan cuts him off._

"_Maybe you should go help her." Duncan says irritated that Lily is taking so long. I go to hand the camcorder back to Logan when Lily steps forward in a gold, sparkling dress holding tight to her curves _

"_I think she's got it covered." I say in awe as Lily twirls for us to further admire her._

"_I believe Keanu Reeves said it best when he said: Whoa." Lily simpers and rewards him by letting him kiss her cheek and twirl her close to him._

"_Let's uh make with the pictures before the glitter rubs off" She demands pulling Logan beside Duncan and I. We pose and make faces for the camera before running off to the limo ready for a night of drinking and laughing_

_end flashback_

Sighing I slam my locker shut and walk over to Wallace and his new date Georgia whose 2,000 dollars she stupidly lent to some guy she didn't know I am trying to recover. She gives me details, Wallace gives me an appreciative smile and I head to journalism. I'm about to enter the class when I notice Duncan standing at his locker flipping through a textbook listlessly.

"Hey, How's your head?" I ask with a hint of flirtation in my voice. Old habits die hard.

"Better." He says shutting his textbook with a smile before leaning against his locker beaming down at me. _He could be your brother, he could be your brother. _"Thanks for coming with me. Logan isn't exactly the nurturing type." I nod in agreement.

"Can I ask you something?" He looks a little unsure of himself but nods in agreement "What happened to make you jump off a set of bleachers? Does it have anything to do with why you were so sick the other day?" Duncan's face darkens for a moment and he almost angrily grabs a book out of his locker and slams it shut with more force than necessary

"It's nothing." God he's a terrible liar. If he's not telling me it must be serious. I catch his hand before he storms off.

"Hey." I speak softly like I'm trying to comfort a child. "I'm sorry I'm not trying to be nosy for once I just want to make sure you're ok." His face softens a bit before he nods in the direction of the journalism room.

"Common we're already late." I walk in with him noting with satisfaction the look of shock on Logan's face as we walked in together Duncan holding the door for me. It was at that moment the TV decided to inform us of the Lily Kane Memorial video. At that moment I didn't care about my feud with Logan or keeping up my tough outer shell I simply just stared at the TV screen as it described the dedication ceremony. I swallowed hard and caught Logan's eye which had the same forlorn expression I saw so long ago.

_flashback_

_It has been hours since the funeral and I hadn't changed out of my black dress or undid the somber bun that lay at the nape of my neck. Funerals were about closure. The second they lowered the casket was the second I was supposed to move on and start re-building. After the funeral I am no longer supposed to be in mourning for Lily Kane. Sure I can still be sad but my sadness will now be expected to be "dealt with". The Kanes were giving a press conference a short ways away from the grave and another reporter was shoving a microphone in Aaron's face. No one dared go near Logan who had been a loose cannon since Lily died. My Dad didn't want me at the press conference but I felt like I had to be there for Logan and Duncan, at least for Logan. Duncan at least had his parents. Logan's father was more interested in exploiting his son's relationship with Lily than helping him through the loss. That's how I ended up here, standing in a black dress with water from the wet grass seeping through my new shoes debating whether or not I was strong enough to handle the dead weight that is Logan's grief and anger. I know he needs someone I just don't know if it's me._

"_My son is obviously distressed over the whole situation he was very fond of Lily." Aaron says before turning to a reporter who was asking a question about his movie. Logan's face tense up at that comment and twists even more so when Aaron continues to talk about his movie. Finally I watch him shake his head, give a humorless smile and walk away. I wait for Lynn to go after him but she stares blankly at the camera nodding along with Aaron's comments. I half expect to see Duncan run after him but Celeste _

_hasn't let him out of her sight. He needs someone and it better be me because there is no one else. I walk over behind the tree to find him pacing angrily his face flickering from anger to hurt to betrayal and back again._

"_Hey" I say softly trying to convey sympathy with my eyes things with Logan have been strained at best since I told Lily about his kiss with Yolanda. He isn't crying but he's close and he looks so broken that I want to kick Aaron in the teeth for rubbing salt in the wound. I approach him like I would a spooked horse. He is desperate for reassurance but ready to fight. He doesn't say anything but he stops pacing. The tears fall from my eyes as I raise a hand to cup his cheek. He leans into it and I wonder if anyone has held him or comforted him at all since Lily died. I smile through my tears and grab his hand. At least he'd have someone now. _

_End flashback_

Logan breaks our intense gaze and pretends to be really interested in his report on school bake sales. The class lingers on and everybody forgets about the memorial video but it stays on my mind as I try to write focus on my article. A stolen glance from Logan tells me our thoughts are both with a certain blonde girl.

Turns out Georgia's thief is a conned artist who thought he was part of a reality show. In order to get Georgia's money back I'm going to have to find out who played the actor. I head to the computer lab to download the email Georgia received when a familiar voice stops me.

"Mom if you don't put the camera down I'm not going out there." Lily's voice rings out from the computers. I walk towards the classroom ready to tear apart whomever decided to play this sick joke. The sight of Logan staring emotionlessly at the computer screen as he scribbles notes on a piece of paper stop me in my tracks.

"What part of me ignoring you made you think that you were welcome?" Logan snarks at me, not taking his eyes off the screen as clips of a younger Lily riding a pony steam across the monitor.

"What are you doing?" For once my tone wasn't accusatory. Logan sighs and leans back in his chair. He looks tired as though he hasn't slept in days and his eyes are glazed over from hiding back too many emotions.

"Assembling the world's most boring memorial video. Ballet. Choir recital. Debutante crap. Girl scouts" He angrily flips the tapes on the counter and for one quick moment I feel a pang of sympathy. "Memories both misty and water-colored." He still hasn't looked away from the screen and I know this is some new way he's found to torture himself. Sitting alone in a dark room watching clips of Lily grow up in to the girl he loves. It doesn't matter that Celeste's clips are predictable and a little impersonal it's still his Lilly. A year ago I would have pulled up a chair and helped him select clips or at least sit there quietly doing homework as he put himself through hell. There was never a point in trying to stop Logan when he decided to self-destruct but the Lily, Duncan or I would always make sure he didn't do it alone even if he never realized what we were doing.

"It's Lilly as a long-distance commercial" I reply softly. I may not be able to help him ride out his own personal torture but I could offer him a little bit of solidarity.

"Well this isn't really about Lilly is it." He runs his hands through his hair before pounding the table. "God this would piss her off." For some reason I desperately want to do something to make this a little 

less painful for him. I'm not surprised at that feeling. Our war has never extended to Lily, even if it did our war in general seems to be losing malice every day. I could sit here and print out Georgia's email while I wait patiently for the explosion to happen, him being none the wiser, like I used to but somehow I doubt my presence is comfort anymore. I sigh and leave the room just as an idea hits me. The tapes.

_flashback_

"_You're turn Veronica." Lily says passing me the champagne bottle. The alcohol has already made my brain fuzzy and I know full well I'm going to get plastered because anything Logan or Lilly has done. I haven't. _

"_I have never gone skinny-dipping" Logan scoffs and drinks deeply from his glass while Duncan and Lily laugh and refill their glasses._

"_That is just unacceptable. We're going to have to do something about that Veronica Mars." I nod in agreement as Logan trains the camera on Duncan obviously hatching an evil scheme._

"_Oh I've got one." Duncan looks a little nervous but raises his eyebrows good-naturedly "I have never taken matters into my own hand after watching the girl's cheerleading try-outs." Logan waggles his eyebrows dangerously and Lily and I both freeze comprehending this as Logan tries hard to suppress his laughter. _

"_Dude you are so dead." Duncan grumbles grabbing the bottle from me._

"_You must drink commerade" I try to stop the blush from creeping up my cheeks as Duncan goes to drink still staring at me waiting for my reaction._

"_Wait! Please tell me that was before we started dating." Duncan laughs and nods affirmatively_

"_Ok" Lilly holds up her glass commanding to be the centre of attention again "I have never not had sex." She grins evilly at me and waits expectantly._

"_Wait what does that even mean?" I ask with a bit of a giggle_

"_It means drink if you are a virgin." Logan gave me his best piercing stare and knowing smile as I stop and took a deep swig determined not to be embarrassed. Duncan rolls his eyes at Logan and drank as well._

"_You are so cool" I say leaning up and kissing him firmly. _

"_So cool" I hear Logan mock jokingly from behind us before grabbing Lilly and pulling her towards out make-out session. "Aw I love you I love you."_

"_Yeah?" Lily said teasing Logan as he pulled us all into a group hug_

"_Yeah" Logan leans his arm out capturing the tender moment between two couples and four best friends._

_End flashback_

I still had the tapes in a box under my bed. I never had a chance to watch them before Lily died and couldn't bring myself to do it afterwards. In order to shake thoughts of Lilly I convince my father to bug the dormrooms of two computer nerd who are using naïve, helpful girls to fund their projects, with no 

returns of course. The rest of the afternoon is spend figuring out the alarm code based on the sounds coming from the system. My phone rings quickly taking me out of my trance.

"Yeah?"

"Veronica I'm here with your father. Alone." Troy's voice takes on a higher than usual pitch and for a moment I picture my father with his hand-gun.

"Oh my god. I'll be right there."

I save Troy from my father and the date goes better than expected. Georgia's thieves returned the money after I stole their backup drives and I left Wallace to bask in the gratitude. There's no more putting this off I sigh to myself as I pick up a small cassette labeled 'Fun with Lily'. Our last perfect evening as the Fab 4 captured on tape. Logan is at the same computer and the only reason I know he has been home is because his clothes are different. Before I go in with the discs I run back to my locker and grab a bottle of water, a bag of chips and a sandwich I planned on eating during my stake-out this afternoon.

"How's it going?" I ask softly pulling a chair up beside him as he edits yet another clip of a young Lily beaming innocently into the camera.

"It's very Wonder Years. " He clenches his teeth angrily "Celeste will love it." Awkwardly I pull the mini-cassette out of my sweater pocket and slide it towards Logan.

"I was going through some of my stuff and I, uh, found this." Part of me feels bad giving this to him If he's having such a hard time with a white-washed version of Lily I don't know how he'll be able to handle clips of the real Lilly, clips of him and Lily.

"What is it?"

"It's not a violin recital." He picks up the tape and looks at me with a trace of appreciation. He's not smiling but his eyes are no longer trying to set me up in flames. "Anyways I thought you might be hungry seeing how you skipped lunch." I push the bag of food towards him as a slight peace offering. His lips twitch upwards and he almost smiles

"You didn't, uh, lace this with cyanide did you?" He gives me a sarcastic smirk and for the first time in a long time we share a laugh.

"No, no it's perfectly edible."

"That answers my next question then." He says with another devilish smirk "You didn't make it." I shove his arm and laugh as well. As if Logan suddenly realizes who he is sharing a laugh with a stony mask slips back on his face. "I've got a lot of work to do." I nod quietly and stand at the obvious dismissal.

"Yeah, no me too." I don't want to test to the truce, nor do I really want to be friends with Logan again. The tape was for Lilly. The food was…well I guess the food was for Logan but hey, I'm a marshmallow.

The two days until Homecoming creep by slowly. The wait is magnified by the fact that the results from the paternity tests should be here any day now. In a few days I'll know if I almost slept with my brother and if the man who has stood by me since before I could walk is really my father. I shake off the thought as Troy knocks on the door. Tonight is the dedication ceremony. I insisted on driving myself so that I 

could make a quick getaway or stay longer and Troy insisted he follow me in his car so we can arrive together. This should make me happy. My sweet, hot boyfriend wants to stand by me through Lilly's so badly that he drove 10 minutes out of his way. Really it just pisses me off because he knows nothing about Lily and I'd rather spend the night alone than with someone who couldn't appreciate the loss.

"Ready?" He asks a carefully formed concerned smile on his face. I give a tight nod and brush past him not doing a good job at hiding my displeasure.

The ceremony screams Celeste. A professional photo of Lily with a perfectly demure look on her face stares back at me and it creeps me out how the photographer managed not to capture a single slice of her spirit. It worries me more that her mother thought it was the best representation. Troy tries to hold my hand and I grumble something about needing to take pictures for the Navigator and leave him standing uncomfortably in the crowd. Celeste drones on and on about Lily being a dedicated member of the Neptune community and Duncan reveals a fountain that screams everything but Lily. Celeste gives Logan a nod and he starts the video. Pictures of a younger Lily places to classical guitar music float across the screen and I feel a rush of disappointment that Logan didn't use the clips I gave him. Tears prick in my eyes as I quickly snap some photos of the fountain before turning to leave. Suddenly the music changes and Lilly's unforgettable voice rings out.

"Hello America! You wanted Lily. Now you got her. Now sit back and enjoy the ride." Wild and inappropriate clips of Lily drinking, laughing and flashing oncoming traffic play in rapid succession, our Homecoming dresses giving away the source of the clips. "You love me don't you." The video ends on a clip of Lily leaning out the limo window letting the window toss her golden hair. Jake is crying and Duncan awkwardly puts an arm around his shoulder. Logan is staring at me waiting for my reaction. It's not that he cares what I think but he knows I am the only one besides Duncan who would know how Lily would feel about it. I smile genuinely at him hoping to tell him with that gesture that there was no doubt in my mind that Lily was sitting in heaven squealing in delight at Celeste's horrified face. Logan's expression turns from apprehensive to grateful and he shoots me his first genuine smile of the year.

I walk to the fountain and stare at it as the crowd disperses. I was hoping to talk to Duncan but Celeste had whisked him away before I had a chance to offer him any form of compassion. The unmistakable sounds of heavy footprints sounds behind me and I'm about to tear Troy a new one for not leaving me alone like I explicitly instructed when I whip around to see Logan. My expression softens and I quickly berate myself for letting my guard down in front of him. The truce is temporary Logan doesn't want you back and I don't want him back. It's that simple.

"It's an overwhelming gesture." Logan says nodding towards the fountain. I try to forget that I hate him and he hates me and I offer the softest smile I can.

"She would have been so proud of you." I was going to say she would have been so happy but I knew he already knew that. No one ever noted Logan's accomplishments ever. Hiis parents, teachers even his friends attributed Logan's success in anything to his money or his position. I knew that tomorrow our truce would be back to meaning that we didn't talk to each other but I need him to know that I knew he was the reason Lily Kane was remembered as the girl she was. He didn't say anything just swallowed a ball of emotion and nodded before walking towards his Xterra. His eyes told me he understood though, that saying Lilly would be proud meant I was also proud.


	5. It all comes back to bite you in the ass

Season 1 Episode5:

A/N: Due to more LoVe interaction I decided to switch up the POVs throughout the story. Let me know if you think it works. I am not connected with Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, anybody of importance really.

Episode Summary: A stolen car leads Veronica to uncover surprising information. Duncan gets back some very important test results and confronts a long time friend about his recent behavior before surprising Veronica.

Logan POV

"Isn't this where we parked?" Tell me this is where we parked and the heart attack I'm having right now is for no reason." Troy looks around panicking.

"Maybe it'll be like Brigadoon. If you come back in 100 years it'll be right here." I quip before lying down in the empty parking spot.

"Troy did you lock it." Luke said his voice bordering on hysteria. Idiot had left his drug filled Piniata in the car.

"Did I lock it?" Troy asked incredulously and I wasn't sure if that meant obviously he did lock or that he couldn't believe he was such an idiot for not.

"How are we going to get home." I sit up from the parking spot a half-hearted smirk in place. "My parents are out of town." It was a lie but I'd rather be stuck in Mexico with Luke and Veronica's boy-toy Troy then have to deal with my father's punishment for a quick trip to Mexico. Troy's parents were out as they didn't even know he took the car so saying that he lost would end up with him in some catholic boarding school. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad after-all. Luke's parents were in Europe so that left us getting comfortable in Mexico…or…Veronica. Troy seems to be one step ahead of me a goofy smile on his place as he dials Veronica's number.

"Hey babe." It irks me a little that he sounds the same as Duncan when he says that. The thought of sitting in a car with Veronica Mars for hours causes all sorts of different thoughts to run through my head. The uneasy truce that was called during Lily's funeral caused her to avoid him like the plague. Not that he minded that she wasn't around. Sure it had been entertaining to watch her revenge and her presence was such a fixture in his life that without it he feels like he is slowly losing any connection he once had with her. They had once been connected by the Kanes, then hatred and now nothing was stopping her from stepping completely out of his life, which she did with unnerving ease after the memorial. On the other hand her perpetual avoidance made everything easier on me. I don't have to look at her and see her betrayal, see the pain in her eyes every time I cut her down and I certainly didn't need to see her increasing acts of kindness. Giving me Lily's tapes, making sure I ate while I tortured himself with videos of Lily, her comment about how proud Lily would have been were all from this new Veronica. Sometimes I try to think of what it would be like if Lily lived. In a way I think things would be remarkably similar. Duncan and Veronica would make up because Lily would have made them that is for certain. I think about the old Veronica, the sweet, naïve girl who was surprisingly good at picking up the pieces every time Lily smashed my heart to the ground. She was changing even before Lily died. I think I saw it before she even knew she was changing.

_flashback_

"_So what do you think for my next boyfriend?" Lily piped up from her locker causing me to hide in my classroom and listen with anger to the rest of the conversation. "Colin Ferrall type or Aston Krutcher type?" My anger deepened when I heard Veronica giggle beside her. So much for being my friend too._

"_What's wrong with Logan?" At least she asked the right questions._

"_Uhm he's insanely jealous and it's getting on my nerves." Lily replied tossing her hair and checking her make-up in the mirror. How could she not expect me to be jealous? Hurt and anger mixed in my stomach and the only thing that stopped me from running out there and yelling at Lily for being a heartless bitch was my masochistic need to hear Veronica laugh about her stringing me along._

"_Wait you'rd serious?" The smile and all other signs of joy are wiped off Veronica's face and she's staring at Lily like she has three heads._

"_Yeah I mean Logan's great and all but I'm young I want options and Logan just doesn't get that." That's cause I love you, you idiot I want to yell at her. I can feel angry tears pick in my eyes at the realization that all I was to Lily some other guy that was "great and all". _

"_Lily that's because he loves you." Veronica is now full on scowling at Lily who is looking back at her with something akin to surprise on her face. "You're going to really hurt him." It helped more than it should that Veronica was quick to defend me, I wasn't sure whose side she was on. I wasn't even aware we needed sides._

"_Whatever Veronica Logan is a big boy he can handle it." The story of my life. Logan can handle the pain so let's just heap more on I thought bitterly._

"_That doesn't mean he deserves it Lily you can't string him along like that."_

"_Whatever Veronica Mars you know you're going to have to pick a side on this." Lily's eyebrows raise as in a challenge and Veronica's face goes stony._

"_I'd pick his." Veronica said firmly before walking off to class leaving Lily in her dust. _

_That was the first time Veronica Mars every stood up to anybody._

_end flashback_

"Dude where's your car?" She flashes a smile at Troy who just shakes his head "Sorry." Troy heads for the front seat dragging his heels and looking around hopelessly one last time. "Uh you're monkey is going to have to ride in the back." Her snark had no bite and I'm pretty sure she meant it that way.

"Wow that must have been an awfully big cereal box." Troy steps in before things could get out of hand which they weren't going to anyways. I've made fun of Veronica's car since she got it which was when we friends and her own insult was more friendly than feisty.

I watch with gross fascination as Veronica and Troy sweet talk each other in the front seat. My feeling of disgust turns to one of satisfaction when Troy shuts Veronica's flirting up by asking her, rather sarcastically, if she was down for dating a guy who went to Catholic school in Albuquerque. She stares at the road letting her silence be her answer. Veronica may be dating Troy but she definitely wasn't in love with Troy. If Duncan had asked her a year ago she would have shrugged and come up with a plan to make it work. Deeming the silence awkward Troy reaches over and turns on the radio.

**I've been lying here for like a million years in my bed**

**Get up, get up, get up. **

_flashback_

_**Everybody says I should be moving on**_

"_Logan care to explain why I am halfway across town driving with only my permit which, by the way, is illegal?" Veronica asks pulling out of my driveway being extra cautious. The sight of my father and some nameless bimbo in fibrante flashed before my eyes and I close my eyes firmly trying to get rid of the image. I always suspected my father was cheating on my mom but seeing it with my own eyes made me mad enough to smart off my Dad. Luckily, he never did anything like that in front of company but I knew I had to get out of there ASAP. That would have been fine but my car was getting detailed and the Kanes were at the Napa house for the last bit of the summer._

"_No not really." If she hadn't been so scared of driving she would have immediately given me one of those calculating stares that meant she was going to make me tell her anyways. She doesn't say anything just nods as I lean my head against the window. I think of my mother and her possible reactions, think of the feel of the belt when he finds out I've told then imagine Lily's annoyance when I refuse to take my shirt of in bed or go swimming. Without my knowledge I have started pounding my thigh restlessly. Veronica shoots me a look then wordlessly places her hand on top of mine to stop my pounding. I expect her to pull her hand away. Stop the pain and leave, my mother's mantra. Instead she tightens her small hand around mine and drives one-handed even though it scares her. _

_end flashback_

"I hate that song" Veronica grumbles switching the station before anyone can protest. I catch her eye in the rearview mirror but she looks away quickly and I know her mind was in the same place. Troy and Luke both fall asleep quickly which is impressive considering both of them have their ass on the line. My hangover turns rapidly into something akin to a migraine and every time I close my eyes I feel like I'm spinning. I breathe with relief when Veronica pulls in for gas Troy whips out his credit card to pay for the gas and Veronica uncomfortably goes to the convenience store as he fills up. Rule #1 with Veronica Mars, do not pay for anything she feels she should buy herself. Oh yeah, Troy was going to be gone soon. She returns quickly with Aspirin, water bottles and a wet washcloth looking thing.

"These are for the hangovers." She says perkily depositing pills in our outstretched hand. "This is for you" She hands me the wet washcloth and the smiles knowingly. "Put it over your eyes it will help with migraine." I try to cover my look of surprise. Not even my parents knew I got migraines when I was hung-over or stressed. I try to thank her with a smile but she has already turned around and we don't voice thank yous audibly. It's all subtext with us.

Veronica POV

The rest of the ride went surprisingly well. Logan offered to drive at one point which was his way of thanking me for curing his migraine and Troy only whined a reasonable amount about the missing car. Finally I pull up to Luke's house where Logan's car is parked.

"So does this mean you're going to play nice now."

"Walk in front of the car and we'll see." He steps in front and I jokingly rev the motor. Not surprisingly he didn't jump. Nice to know he is still certain I won't run him over with my car. The sound of my phone ringing brought me out of my trance.

"Hey Duncan" I immediately curse myself for not covering Duncan's identity as Logan whips around and looks at me as though I am planning Duncan's kidnapping

"Hey Veronica." He sounds stiff and uncomfortable on the other line and I try to think of the last time he's called me. Our 'friendship' if you can call it that involves us leaving notes in each other's locker if anything seems important to the case. He asked me if I wanted to hang out the other day and I immediately refused. The paternity test just made everything too awkward. "The results are in." He says in one breath and I can feel my face paling.

"I'll be right there." I flip my phone shut and notice Logan is still staring at me his face caught between amusement and surprise. Immediately I break eye contact and tell Troy I'd have to come over later to help him because something came up.

"Something with Duncan?" He is trying to act like is just curious but if being friends with Logan taught me anything it was how to recognize the tell tale signs of jealousy. Part of me once to smack him upside the head and tell him that he has no right to be jealous we just started dating but rationality won over and I know I wouldn't want him running off with his ex.

"Just something for a case I'm working on." I reply kissing him gently. "No need to worry." That seems to appease him and moments later I'm dropping him at his mansion promising to call him later. Do I really want to know? I know I have to know there is no way Duncan will let this go unsettled. I pray to every deity that Keith Mars is my father basically holding my breath the whole way to the Kane mansion. If I didn't want the higher powers focusing on the paternity issue I would have sent a prayer that Celeste Kane had yoga or bridge or whatever extremely wealthy, jobless women have during weekdays. It seems as though I'm in luck Duncan is standing by the opening door tossing the envelope nervously from hand-to-hand.

"Hey"

"Hi" I breathe in response gesturing down at the package. "Let's uh, get this over with." Duncan is obviously as nervous as I am and takes a while to find a pair of scissors to open the package. He considers it for a moment then hands it to me.

"You do the honors. It's your paternity." For such a little package it is very ominous. To his credit Duncan is very patient. He sits there for the next half hour as I debate the merits of opening this envelope. "I should do this right I mean I have to know." For the third time in the last five minute Duncan answers my question with a sympathetic nod. "And me doing this doesn't mean I don't love my Dad."

"Of course not." Duncan reassures me yet again. I had forgotten how much I relished the calm, steady safe vibe he always seemed to exude. "Veronica it's just about the facts. Peace of mind." I've been pacing and debating for the past half an hour and as kind and patient as Duncan is he's going to get sick of my indecision soon.

"Ok here I go." Duncan raises his eyebrows in surprise when I rip open the package. I had said I was going to do it over 10 times and I guess the thought that I actually managed do it made it more real for him as well. Quickly I skim the results before bursting in to hysterical laughter.

"What?!" Duncan asks urgently a mix of concern and impatience in his voice

"Your mom's a bitch. I'm not your sister Duncan." Tears of joy start streaming down my face and Duncan is holding me close whispering apology after apology into my hair. I am stunned to realize he is crying too.

"Hey it's ok." I try to reassure him when I realize how panic stricken and mortified he is at the way he acted.

"I can't believe I treated you like that." He gets more and more worked up as he paces through the room recounting the events of last year. Whenever I try to reassure him I am cut off by another apology or reason why I should hate him and realize that this is something he has to get off his chest so I sit and listen content that nothing major has changed in my life. "I am sorry for everything." He looks me in the eyes when he says it this time and it's my turn to make a decision. I could cut him out of my life. I certainly have grounds to. He didn't tell me about my paternity, didn't give me a reason as to why he broke up with me, didn't actually break up with me and then spent an entire year letting Logan Echolls and his bunch of goons drive me into the ground. Then again he lost his sister, thought he dated his half-sister, watched his best friend morph into a full-fledged jackass all while his mother manipulated him from behind the scenes. It's really not a hard decision.

"Shh it's ok." I pull him in to a huge hug and feel him let out a relieved breath. It may not be ok but it will be. I don't want Duncan to lose another person from his life and his actions, though dramatic and stupid, were a little understandable. I tell him gently but firmly that for the time being there will be no relationship and I will continue to date Troy, whom, I may add, I forgot about the entire time I was with Duncan. The thought that we may have been siblings is too fresh and so is the memory of him cutting me out of his life. Trying to convince Duncan to continue to ignore me at school is pointless. He adamantly refuses saying that stopping me from be publically accosted is the least he can do. We both agree not to tell anyone the reason for our split or our reconciliation. My reputation is bad enough without adding potential incest and Duncan doesn't his father's infidelity public knowledge. Without any new leads on Lily's case we agree to meet up later and raid my father's safe. My hope is that Duncan's fresh eyes will missed something I have overlooked the million times I flipped through the files.

"I gotta go find my boyfriend's car." I declare realizing we spent the entire afternoon discussing how swell it was we weren't related. The mention of Troy wipes the smile off Duncan's face but he agrees diplomatically. School is going to be interesting.

Troy is more worried than helpful and I'd be more sympathetic aside from the fact that whinning about boarding school isn't going to stop him from getting shipped there, finding the car however, will. After a rather unsuccessful trip to the Beacon Company I leave Troy to ponder his demise at home before returning to my apartment to find my father, my actual, biological father. He is currently packing up boxes of my mom's crap to but in storage. He's trying to move on and that's good. Right? I dig through mom's stuff making sure there is nothing worth saving. There really isn't anything material she could give me to make her abandonment sting less, no answers among the cheap artifacts. I open a red purse to find a safety deposit box key. Maybe there are answers after all.

So that is how I end up spending my spare period in the journalism room wrongfully tampering with government issued documents aka. creating a fake death certificate for one Leanne Mars.

"Hey you're helping Troy find his Dad's car." A very nervous Luke stood over top of me. Luke was one of the more decent 09ers. I would like to take that as a testament to his character but I'm pretty sure it's just because he is too busy playing baseball to paint slut on my locker. Without taking my eyes off the screen I nod.

"I need your help." Right because I am in the habit of helping 09ers not to mention the fact that he's sweating on me.

"You're sweating on me." Ok that was supposed to be inner monologue.

"There is kind of more to this car thing than the car." Of course there was. Is anything in my life relatively straight-forward? He gives me a disturbing account of crossing international borders in my boyfriend's car with steroids. Did I mention the fact he hid the drugs in a piñata? Seriously could you be any less obvious.

"Wait what did Troy and Logan know about this?" I don't know about other women but I personally have a problem with my boyfriend violating international law.

"Nothing." Bullshit.

"Yeah. Alright Logan knew but he wasn't in on anything." Is it odd that I am more disappointed in Logan than relieved about Troy?

"It doesn't matter anyway. I don't help dealers find the lost product." Luke straightens up exasperated. I'd feel bad if he wasn't stupid enough to play delivery boy with druggies.

"Look don't think of it like that alright? Think of it like you're saving my life I mean that guy is built like a truck he will break one of my limbs" Ok so threats of bodily harm, even when directed at 09ers, does cause unwanted pangs of sympathy. Reluctantly I agree to help him on the condition he returns the penis-shrinking, scar leaving drugs to get his money back.

Logan's POV

I don't mind Duncan acting like a human being again, in fact I welcome it. I do, however, get annoyed at his sudden change in position over a certain Veronica Mars. First he nearly punches Dick when he makes his usual slut comment then informs the table under no uncertain terms that Veronica is no longer meant to be treated as a human punching bag. He then informs me she will be joining us for lunch tomorrow and that I am to make no comments regarding her mother, her zip code or her wardrobe. This, understandably, confuses me.

"Dude you make it sound like we're about to pour pig's blood on her." I say indignantly taking a few books from her locker. "It's not like that." At least it's not like that anymore I correct in my head. Sure some verbal sparring matches have gone a little further than they should've but it's not like she hasn't give as good as she got. "Plus it's not like she doesn't bite back."

"Please Logan take your head out of your ass for a minute and think about what you just said." This new-old Duncan is starting to freak me out. "You bashed in her headlights, insulted her mother, wrote a new degrading word on her locker everyday all while treating her like she is someone not good enough to 

breathe your air." My jaw drops at Duncan's tirade and I'm only half-surprised to see a small group of students watching us.

"You watched and never said a word." We're standing nose-to-nose now and I am seriously wondering if I am about to punch the one decent person I have in my life over Veronica Mars.

"I'm admitting I was wrong and I'm not standing by and letting you use her father's judgment as an excuse to treat her as your whipping girl." The whipping girl comment causes all the color to drain out of my face. Considering I have spend majority of my life being my father's whipping boy, literally, the suggestion I could cause the same amount of pain make my stomach churn. Duncan is still standing over me threatening and I'm about to respond when I see a pair of blue eyes watching the scene with shock.

"Duncan he's not worth it." Her air of complete indifference startles me almost as much as the fact that she doesn't make eye contact with me as she steps neatly in between us. At least she doesn't think I'm going to physically abuse her.

"Apologize." Duncan says simply, gently pulling Veronica around so she's facing me. I notice for the first time how hard her eyes have gotten. She doesn't hold that air of innocence anymore, in fact the only thing that remains from the old Veronica is a diamond necklace she got from Lily which catches the light at that precise moment. I think that's Lily's way of agreeing with Duncan.

"I don't want his apology." This time she's not blurting it out to stop me from being beaten by a biker gang she is being honest. Duncan's whipping girl comment replays in my head and I wonder if I have really damaged her the same way Aaron damaged me.

"At least two of us are on the same page." I mutter with the same amount of spite I had in the beginning of the year and walk away from a very unhappy Duncan and a too tough Veronica Mars. I walk by the empty library silently reminded of the first time I faced off with Veronica Mars.

_flashback_

"_Logan?" It's my first week back since Lily died and even the freshmen feel the need to give me condolences. I turn around to face the scrawny kid anger boiling beneath the surface._

"_Do I know you?" Yeah so I was being a jackass. My girlfriend was just murdered, my best friend is acting like someone just sucked out his soul and my other best friend allowed her father to go after Jake Kane. I guess I can't really blame her for that and her gentle reassurance that her father was simply doing his job was enough to make me grateful I still have one person to count on._

"_Uhm, I just, I thought you should see this." The freshman flashes me an apologetic look before typing in a website. "It's the Lily Kane crime scene video. I-I just thought you should know it's going around." Lily wasn't in the frozen frame at the beginning. It was just an shot of the Kane's pool and the leg of a lounge chair. I could still turn away and hold on to the one thing I hadn't suffered through. My hand hovered over the play button. "I don't think you want to watch that." The freshman was a good kid, one of those slightly gangly kids who had the freshman girls swooning. An up and coming 09er king biding his time. _

"_Leave." I commanded without an edge to my voice. I appreciate what he's done but I'm in no mood to have a total break-down in front of a freshman. He's gone before I can ask twice. With a shaky breath I start the video. Lily lies motionless by her family pool. Her eyes are wide open and remind me of a dead fish at the market. There is no color in her face and her lips are dry but still look just as soft as they ever were. I touch my own lips in horror when I realize I have forgotten exactly how it felt when she kissed me. _

_Lily was never cold. When we slept together in the summer I used to peel myself away from her in the middle of the night and sleep at the edge of the bed because her body was like a furnace, full of energy and heat. The shot zooms past her cheek and it hurts to think about exactly how cold she must be. Finally I force my eyes to look at the gaping head wound. It looks like she is the victim of a bad horror movie and the puddle of blood beneath her matted blonde hair makes me want to vomit. Lily would be so pissed that this was the video the world would remember her by._

"_Oh my god Logan." Veronica's voice rings out in sympathetic horror as she shuts of the monitor before I can torture myself anymore. I blink back tears forcefully as she gently takes my face in her hands her running mascara the unmistakable sign she has seen the same video. She presses her forehead to mine and I'm about to let a tear slide out when I realize something. Someone had to leak that video. Someone like the sheriff of Neptune. I immediately pull my head away from hers_

"_So uh, does your father still think Lily's father did this?" Veronica picks up in the anger in my voice and draws back in shock. Angrily I press the monitor back on and gesture wildly to the image of a prone Lily. "That's my girlfriend, Duncan' sister, you're friend." Her jaw drops in shock as she picks up on the accusation. "Your father is destroying the Kane family. What's the matter with you people huh?" I take another glance at my dead girlfriend on the web for the whole world to see. "What's the matter with you?" my voice breaks dangerously and I spin on my heel leaving behind a tearful Veronica._

_end flashback_

I had immediately felt bad afterwards but the damage had been done. I slapped Veronica in the face with the memory of Lily and knew I had to push her away before she did the same to me. To Veronica's credit she never used Lily's memory against him. Since I've never really consider this before I dig through my locker for a football glad to have a place to hide my face when I came to a very uncomfortable realization. Veronica has been pulling her punches. While he hit her full force digging leaving only Lily's memory untouched, an act that was mostly in his benefit anyways, Veronica had been playing. Sure she planted a bong in his locker but the evidence magically disappearing made it nothing more than a small prank in her eyes since she didn't know his father's reaction to 'small pranks'. I made digs about her alcoholic mother while she remained tight-lipped about mine. Veronica could have easily ruined me, not only could she have spread rumors about my father's infidelity and my mother's proclivity for valium to all of Neptune High she could have sold them to the tabloids. I don't know how to react to this new realization that Veronica protected me. I should be grateful but really I'm pissed that she thinks I can't handle her best shot.

"Time for a chat?" Veronica's faux cheerful voice quickly snaps me back to reality.

"Wow you think if hell froze over it would be in the news." It is way too soon after the whole Duncan confrontation scene to be dealing with her. She just raises her eyebrows not enticed by the challenge. Right she has Wallace Duncan and Troy now, no need to spar with Logan Echolls when she has three guys, four if I include Weevil, ready to treat her nicely.

"I just want to chat about the steroids you bought." Great now not only am I her own personal tormentor I am a drug-dealer. Did Veronica Mars not know me at all? Every since my mother first popped a valium to forget about the fact that her son was getting beaten by her husband I have refused to even look at drugs. Considering that happened when I was five it is pretty safe to say I am clean.

"You mean the steroids Luke bought." She raises her eyebrows and there is flicker of approval in her eyes. She knew it wasn't me. "Man you suck at this Nancy Drew stuff." The last thing I need is Veronica 

Mars' knowing looks and poorly hidden approving smiles. Veronica opens her mouth to reply before her face suddenly softens and her intense blue eyes focus on something over his shoulder. Realizing the shift in demeanor I look over my shoulder to find a grinning Troy. Right.

"I guess we're done here, Officer." I pointedly step in between the two of them. "Hey T." I waggle my eyebrows for good measure before allowing Troy to attempt to woo Veronica. As I walk away I hear Veronica immediately dismiss his presence to Troy. _Guy? What guy_? My back doen't stiffen resentfully because I particularly care that my once-friend once-enemy can so easily dismiss my presence. It stiffens because no guy likes to be cast aside. At least this is what I tell myself as I try to reason out why Veronica's comment made me feel like I had been sacked.

Veronica POV

"Hey" Duncan smiles shyly at me as he leans up against an adjoining locker before giving a nod to Wallace. The two guys had started hanging out more recently and I think it's Duncan's way of trying to make-up for last year. It's not going to turn back the clock and make everything the way it was but who knows maybe it'll make things better. Wallace and I discuss Lily's case and Duncan agrees to meet me at my office tonight so we can raid the safe, an act I know Duncan has been fearing for a while. Luke comes up to the table and awkwardly sits down getting weird looks from both Duncan and Wallace.

"Hey I have the 8 grand and a little slice of my soul." He adds with a groan. Wallace squeezes his shoulder sympathetically.

"Woo is you" I snark lightly and he just lifts his head dejectedly before picking up a slice of the pizza Duncan brought over.

"So what's the game plan now?" He mumbles through a mouthful of pepperoni pizza. The Enbom's can afford their own airplane hanger you'd think they could spare some chunk change to get their son etiquette lessons.

"I am going to go to the Zig-Zig gym and settle your account." I say simply gaining a bit of pleasure at Luke's jaw dropping.

"Veronica the guy is built like a wall." He sputters clearly concerned. "If he doesn't like what you offer he'll break you in half." An 09er concerned about my welfare, how completely odd. Duncan and Wallace both agree quickly and I'm beginning to think this three musketeers thing they have going on is not as cute as it initially seemed.

"I'll go with you" Duncan insists his face telling me there is little room for argument. Since when did Duncan start thinking for himself. Oh right probably when his mother tried to con him in to thinking he was dating his sister. "That or I'll tell Troy you're getting your father to run a background check on him." Wallace smiles approvingly at Duncan and Luke just raises his eyebrows surprised at the new development. I want to scowl but really I'm just happy Duncan is back to being a normal person again. So I nudge him with my shoulder and almost give him a detailed account on what I feel the appropriate punishment for blackmail is but then Troy comes up. I have been around Logan long enough to know when a guy is jealous.

"Hey babe." He kisses me firmly as if trying to tell Duncan to fuck off. Given my shiny, new friendship with Duncan is working itself out quite nicely I am not too pleased at the gesture. "So you wanna come over later? Play detective?" He smirks suggestively and that pisses me off because if there is two things I 

cannot stand it is people insulting my work and wasting my time and if Troy doesn't care about this car he is doing both.

"How are you do laid back about all this?" Sure the guy had an initial freak-out about the car and now all he wants to do is have me 'take his mind of his problems'. Something just doesn't feel right.

After school Duncan and I head to the gym and things actually seem normal between us again. I don't think I could ever date Duncan again. The passion was to abruptly cut off by his quick and cruel form of breaking up that it will never be able to be re-established but it's nice to have a friend who loved Lily as much as I did. Duncan pretends to check out the equipment as I give Ziggy the money and inform him that Luke will not be delivering his shipment. When this doesn't seem to teach him I snap a picture to send to the border patrol to ensure Luke does, in fact, finish out the season with all limbs intact.

Ever since Duncan found out about his mother's lies he has wanted to spend more time away from the monster. I don't blame him and any excuse to hang out with Duncan is fine by me and he is quickly becoming fast friends with Wallace. So that's how the three of us end up at Amy's stuffing our face with ice cream while I wait for my father to call me with the results of Troy's back-ground check. My phone rings and both Duncan and Wallace stop their basketball debate to listen in. Turns out I was right. Troy got kicked out school for drug possession and trafficking and had committed numerous other misdemeanors with his she-devil partner in crime Shelia. I call Weevil and convince him to make a quick trip to Mexico to retrieve the steroids which he would then flush down the toilet. Whether or not he actually did didn't concern me very much I just want to make sure Troy gets no possible benefits out of this deal.

"I am never dating again." I announce to the table slamming my phone down with enough force to make the other Amy's customers jump. "Ever." Wallace laughs at this and Duncan looks more than a little uncomfortable. I feel kind of bad about that but he made me feel more than a little uncomfortable for the larger part of the year. "Duncan we should probably head to my the office my father left about an hour ago for Texas." Duncan nods and I can tell he is getting nervous about having to relive the most painful day of his life so I don't argue when he wastes a few minutes getting another scoop of ice cream and having to ask Wallace about stats for the next game.

"So this is Mars Investigations huh?" Duncan looks around the tiny office taking in the scenery. "I like the back alley vibe."

"It's not a vibe Duncan it is in a back alley." I say with a laugh as he sits in the couch uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry." His voice shakes slightly and he we haven't even looked at the stupid pictures yet he can't be crying already. "About your father. The whole sheriff thing." He avoids my eyes and I realize the shake was caused by discomfort not tears.

"Bygones Duncan." He gives me a skeptical look. "Seriously I love helping out my Dad and I think my Dad likes working here so don't worry. Plus it was your father not you." This seems to pacify him a bit and I'm about to ask him what food he wants to order for dinner when there is a knock on the door. Duncan shoots his head up in attention and seems even more apprehensive then before. I understand his sentiments when I find Logan standing uncomfortably at the door a mix between self-consciousness and readiness on his face.

"Logan what are you doing here?"

"Duncan you didn't tell her." He growls at his abashed looking best friend. For the first time in a long time Logan and I are on the same side of argument as we both narrow our eyes at Duncan.


	6. What happens to classist pigs

Season 1 Episode 7

**Episode Guide: **Logan reluctantly re-evaluates his position on corruption theories. A student election goes haywire and Veronica and Logan are forced to work together on the article which may lead to more than either of them bargained for.

A/N I don't own anything…if I did I would not be living my life vicariously through fanfic

Logan's POV

"Ok before you take my head off…" This comment is mainly directed at Veronica who doesn't make any promises but continues to stare at him dumbfounded.

"Duncan Jake Kane what the hell is going on?" In the whole year Duncan dated Veronica I don't think I ever saw her yell at him. She was all feisty now and if I wasn't so busy hating her I might notice.

"So I sort of told Logan." Her eyes flit over to me nervously. In reality Duncan hasn't told me anything he simply said that he had something important to show me and gave me the address. I only realized it was Veronica's dad's sad excuse for an office when I saw her standing at the door her tiny face scrunched up in confusion. I decide to go with this story though that Duncan had 'told me' something and give her a little half-nod.

"I thought we agreed we weren't telling anyone." Her voice is measured and she is trying so hard not to slap Duncan who looks like he is about to pee his pants. Holy shit Veronica Mars is scary.

"Tell anyone what. Are you two dating again?" That's possible isn't it? Duncan Kane and Veronica Mars caring on a clandestine relationship right under the nose of the 09ers and their parents. For some reason this makes me want to hurl but I keep my cool mask of indifference on as I look patiently from Duncan to Veronica.

"I thought you said you told him." She's back to pissed-at-Duncan. It's refreshing to not be the bad guy for once.

"I said sort of." Now I'm getting pissed.

"DK you simply told me to meet you here that does not qualify as telling me anything at all." Duncan almost winces at the evil glare from Veronica. Veronica then looks at me with apprehension in her eyes before turning back to Duncan.

"What happened to not telling anyone?"

"I thought he could help."

"Sid, Nancy could either of you tell me why the hell I'm standing in the doorway of Keith Mars' office while you two re-create a bad sit-com?" Duncan is about to scowl at me before remembering he is in the dog house and thinks better of it.

"Koontz didn't kill Lily." Wow talk about cutting to the chase. Veronica looks at me straight in the eye when she says this and it takes all my willpower not to throw her against a wall and tell her to give the Kane's a goddamn break.

"Hm. I think I've had my fill of Mars' corruption theories to last me a lifetime." Veronica simply shrugs and turns back to scowl at Duncan who has been staring at the floor. I wonder if he knew this was what she was going to spring on us tonight. That still didn't explain why Duncan knows something I don't. I would care but the thought of being around Veronica right now after she dropped a bomb like that on Duncan is enough to make me turn on my heel and head for the door.

"Logan she's right." Ok now you have my attention. I turn around and stare at Duncan in shock. Surely he was not suddenly insisting that the killer now sitting on death row was wrongfully accused because that would mean the real murderer is still breathing air that should have been Lily's.

Veronica's POV

Duncan and Logan were two very different people. Duncan though articulate and kind, choose to keep most of his emotions to himself. The rare times where he showed emotion it was done with careful control and restraint. Logan was a different story. Logan always reacts. He may react to sadness with anger and fear with disdain but the fact was he was an emotional volcano.

"What the hell are you talking about Duncan?" His eyes are narrowed with rage as he faces off with Duncan torn between disbelief and anger. A very calm Duncan explains the parking ticket trying his best to explain the facts while not upsetting anyone. God he's going to make a fantastic politician.

"So Veronica is here to do what? Sleep her way in to the evidence locker?"

"No you do not get to do that." Duncan speaks with enough force to surprise himself and Logan simply raises his eyebrows asking him to bring it on and explain at the same time.

"My sister is dead Logan, Your girlfriend is murdered, her best friend is now 6 feet under." He is shaking from anger now and he takes a moment to calm himself before continuing. "If you want to continue using each other as human dart boards afterwards then go ahead but you play nice until we find out exactly what happened to Lily." Logan seems a little taken aback by this but quickly recovers.

"But my mother told me not to mix the clean laundry with the dirty." He is struggling to find some sort of normalcy in the twisted little threesome we have just created. He's not going anywhere I can tell by the pointed way he sat down after his little quip and just this once I'm going to let him have it because the knowledge that Lily's killer is out there is new to him. Duncan shoots Logan a warning look but seems to be on the same page as me. "So Nancy where do we start?"

"You start by ordering dinner, I'll start by trying to crack into my Dad's safe and Duncan I need you to find a box somewhere in my Dad's office marked Playboys." Duncan raises his eyebrows but goes towards the office.

"Geez Mars you think you're going to find the answers to Lily's murder in a Playboy centerfold?" Logan asks cheekily smirking from behind the take-out menus. "I get more convinced of your talents every day."

I am too busy trying to crack into the safe to be bothered with Logan's nattering. He keeps looking at the ticket over and over again like Duncan and I did when we first found it. When he thinks I'm not looking he brushes his fingertips slowly over her picture and whispers something inaudibly.

Logan POV

"Got it!" Veronica's gleeful opening of the safe stops my trip down memory lane. "Some of these notes are less than a week old." She says with confusion. "What has he been up too?" Keith Mars still believes Jake Kane killed his own daughter. Remind me why I'm here again.

"More conspiracy theories?" I say not hiding my cynicism. Jake Kane was the father I wish I had no matter how cliché it sounds. He is far from perfect and drove both Lily and Duncan crazy but there was never any doubt that he loved his children and sometimes he even extended that paternal influence to me.

_flashback_

"_So Logan the sweet 16. You have your permit?" Jake asks as I settle into the chair across from him. Lily always took at least 15 extra minutes to get ready and Jake always spent those 15 minutes with me._

"_Yes sir got it this morning." I smile handing him my new license._

"_Has your father taken you out yet?" These were the times I hated being with the Kanes or even Veronica. My three friends had the perfect family lives, or at least happy family lives. It was embarrassing because while my own father didn't know I was failing physics Jake insisted I sit in with Duncan's tutor, or that Keith would ask me about university while Aaron figured I'd be content to just live of my inheritance. _

"_No, sir he's on location." Jake nods and I see a glimpse of pity in his eyes and I know what's running through his head: What father misses his son's sixteenth birthday? I shift uncomfortably and try to stop the red from crawling up my cheeks._

"_Well Lily will be at least another 15 minutes. Common I'll take you out." _

_End flashback_

The first time behind a wheel was supposed to be a big father-son moment and Jake had stepped up for me. Lily had been ready 15 minutes later but had called Jake while we were on the road and instructed him to keep teaching me until I could drive well enough to pick her up on dates. I like to think she knew how much it meant to me to have an afternoon with a man my father's age that treated me with sincere kindness but in reality I think she was using the time to screw the pool boy. I sigh heavily trying to shake the memory as Duncan roots through the Playboys box.

"DK you really think this is the time for porn?" I say sarcastically walking over to him

"Logan, are you saying there is a bad time for porn?" Veronica smiles over the safe and it is a little too reminiscent of happier times for my liking so I concentrate on ordering Chinese. "They're the closed files."

A few minutes later the three of us are sitting around pouring over the evidence logs and the new timeline Veronica created. I can tell she is trying to postpone showing us the pictures something I, for one, am grateful for. She is about to bring them out when the Chinese arrives. Immediately she makes Duncan pay stating it's the least he can do for making her suffer through a night with Logan Echolls. Duncan and her share a laugh and I wonder just how long it is going to be before they go all Joey and Dawson on me. It would be swell to have a walking reminder of what could have been. The thought alone makes me grimace.

It is common knowledge that seeing your sister/girlfriend/best friend with her skull bashed in will ruin your appetite so we leave the files as is and go eat Chinese. Veronica stops talking and is chewing the Chow Mein pensively. Her eyes widen and she slaps the chop sticks out of my hand before they hit my mouth.

"What the hell Veronica." I jump up quickly picking the noodles off my 200 shirt. She says nothing but picks up a piece of shrimp off the floor.

"I don't have an Epipen handy" Is all she says before picking up my plate and dumping all food in the trash. Veronica Mars has a way of surprising people by knowing the most random things about them. She pays attention to detail in a way that would make someone with OCD jealous. Even the Old Veronica had a way of knowing most people little idiosyncrasies. There weren't many traits of Veronica's that I valued over Lily's but that was certainly one of them.

"You ok man?" Duncan asks with a knowing smile before passing me a shrimp free container. I nod and listen, with an odd feeling of contentment, to Veronica tearing apart the Chinese food lady for their stupidity.

Veronica Mars

Do not get me wrong. I do not care about Logan Echolls. He is mean, damaged and classist not to mention rude and self-centered. This does not mean I want his esophagus to start to close up as he struggles, in vain, for air on my office floor. Death scares me. Death scares a lot of people but Lily dying made the possibility of death that much more real and, personally, I do not want to go through that again. This is the logic I use to explain why I spent the last 5 minutes yelling at the Asian take-out lady (who I'm pretty sure didn't understand me anyways) and then the next 5 yelling at very surprised Logan for being too dense to double check his food.

"Veronica color me crazy but when I order beef chow mien I don't feel the need to check for shellfish." Logan exclaims finally cutting in to my tirade which, if the small smile on his face is any indication, he kind of enjoyed.

"Ok now that we've established Logan is not only an anaphylactic jackass but a stupid anaphylactic jackass can we look at those pictures now?" Duncan cuts in trying to preemptively stop world war III. In midst of my lecture on the proper-way-to-be-allergic-to-shellfish I had completely forgotten about the pictures.

"Yeah." I reluctantly hand them out. "Look for anything that doesn't add up." I feel the need to state the obvious as revered silence falls over the room. No one speaks as we closely examine pictures of the dead girl who once meant so much to each of us.

_flashback_

"_Do you ever think about death?"_

"_Lily Kane how morbid of you." I say as I flip over on the Kane's patio chair. Our boyfriends were off having some guy-time with Dick, Luke and Cassidy which meant we had the whole day to paint our nails and discuss boys. Of course Lily never does anything typical and the whole conversation has shifted into the very emo topic of the after-life. "I don't know I guess sometimes."_

"_I think I'm going to die young." Lily says with a devilish smirk before picking up a Cosmo._

"_Why is that Lily." I ask mostly just to appease her but I can't contain the roll of my eyes._

"_I don't know getting old isn't for me." Lily scrunches her face in concentration as if trying to imagine herself with wrinkles "I think I want to die some tragic death like Princess Diana."_

"_Lily haven't you heard you're not allowed to die." I say with a sigh propping myself up on my elbows. "And if you do it is going to be when we're old and wearing matching muumuus."_

"_As if I'd ever wear a muumuu Veronica Mars." Lily said with a laugh before diving in to the pool._

_end flashback_

There seems to be nothing in the pictures and I move on to the shots of the crime scene and Lily's room. I'm almost done looking at shots of the pool when I realize Logan hasn't switched pictures. I squeeze my eyes shut when I realize exactly which photo he is looking at. It's a close up of Lily's head wound. The shot shows just the edge of her pale forehead and her golden blonde hair matted with blood along with a large, bloody gash that is the focus of the picture. That image gave me nightmares for weeks. I meant to hide it before Duncan came over but I forgot in all the excitement of the car theft.

"Logan that picture doesn't tell us anything we don't already know." Being a P.I.'s daughter I knew to expect these photos. Being an actor's son Logan didn't and if the whiteness of his face is any indicator, he does not need to see that. He is almost transfixed by the bloody image and I basically tear the image from his hands. He mumbles about having to use the bathroom which either means he is going to puke or have a mini-break down. Duncan is doing far better even if he is eerily quiet. I am about to give up on the pictures when I see it.

"Oh my god." Duncan looks up immediately at this and Logan walks back in to the room looking slightly more composed.

"Hi my name is Sydney Black I'm a journalism student from Neptune High I am doing a follow-up piece on your article on Abel Koontz and I was wondering if you could send me a copy of the piece you did on Koontz the other day. I'll call back in the morning with the address." Duncan and Logan both look at me expectantly, case files laying forgotten on the floor. "I may be wrong but I'm pretty sure those are the shoes that they found on Koontz's house boat." I glance from Duncan to Logan expectantly.

Logan POV

"Tick tick losing interest." I say to Veronica as she waits for either Duncan or I to figure out the importance of a pair of Lily's Keds.

"This picture was taken after the murder" Veronica says slowly seeming slightly shaken by this discovery. "If these are the same pair of shoes somebody had to have planted them on his houseboat." Duncan's face pales and Veronica's mouth is set in a grim line as she looks back to the picture. The expression on her face tells me something. She doesn't want Lily's death to be a conspiracy. She doesn't want Jake to go to jail for some sick, twisted personal reason. She just wants the truth. I didn't believe there was even a possibility that the ex-sheriff could have been right until I saw that picture. The parking ticket was enough to raise my interest but coroner's screw those up and I figured it was an honest mistake. I hung around because Duncan wanted me to and I knew if I walked out that door without making sure Koontz was a killer than I would never forgive myself if Veronica was right. Now I'm standing here believing that maybe I was wrong all along. My mom calls and tells me that my dad is coming home and I know better than to miss his arrival. Duncan leaves too after promising Veronica he won't ask his parents for more information. We decide that no one needs to know we're working together. Too many questions will be asked and we don't want to raise the Kane's suspicions. Duncan informs me that that doesn't mean I'm allowed to be mean to Veronica and I hold up my hands reminding him of my promise to play nice until Lily's killer is in jail.

Duncan and Veronica are fast on their way to being right back where they were. He glares at anyone who talks badly to her and even goes as far as to befriend Waldo-Willard? Whatever. They're sitting beside each other in journalism. Not speaking in hushed, cutesy tones like they used to but there is an undeniable comfort surrounding their silence as the both regard the student council election with disinterest.

"I was thinking you may be interested in covering the student newspaper." Mrs. Dent says interrupting the quiet calm that has come between the two ex-lovers. I plop down beside Duncan who is waiting to gauge Veronica's reaction.

"Sure. I'll write it up this afternoon."

"The election's tomorrow." Mrs. Dent's brow furrows in confusion and I realize I forgot how entertaining it was watching Veronica Mars interact with people she doesn't know.

"I can already see the headline. Brown-nosing resume-packer wins in land-slide." She is not as unpredictable as she thinks she is. She agrees to the story and is about to mention something to Duncan

"Well I'm sure you can dig a bit deeper." Mrs. Dent chides "Logan why don't you work on this with Veronica you haven't written a story in a while." Before either of us can protest Mrs. Dent walks away leaving Veronica with her mouth hanging open in displeasure and me banging my head on the counter and Duncan laughing with an appreciation for the irony.

Veronica's POV

"Hey Dude can she do that?" Logan asks his horror about having to work with me on the story momentarily replaced by the thought that his precious pirate points may be rescinded.

"Student council giveth, student council taketh away." Duncan says with a smile before turning back to his assignment. Frustrated Logan leans in closer.

"No, we're not giving up those points, man, you gotta run!" Duncan sighs as if this isn't the first time someone has tried to badger him to running recently.

"Actually, I don't" Duncan sends Logan a look telling him the discussion is over then turns back to me to discuss the mysterious key. In order to get in to the safety deposit box of a dead relative you need a death certificate and an appointment with the bank manager. I have had the death certificate since last week but between the whole paternity thing, getting Logan up to speed with Lily's case and dealing with the fact that my boyfriend was a druggie has kind of put my mom's abandonment on the back-burner. It was Duncan suggesting that if Jake was, in fact, covering up something the necessary evidence might have been given to Leanne and put in her safety deposit box since no one knew the connection between them was still strong. That coupled with the fact that they met at the Camelot at 1 in the morning after she supposedly left town makes Duncan's assumption a good one.

"You and I need to interview Wanda." I command Logan who bristles at having to interview the person potentially responsible for having to eat cafeteria food.

"Can't you interview…"

"No." I reply before he can put on the Echolls charm to get himself out of doing the assignment. We pull Wanda aside half-way through lunch after I try to convince Logan to play nice with the sophomore candidate

Logan's POV

"Give 'em hell Wanda"

"You give 'em hell Rodney." The fugly dressed girl who I vaguely recall as being on pep-squad back with Veronica and Lilly basks in the glory of being the queen of the nerd as Veronica flips on a recorder.

"One of your campaign staff." I ask dryly getting a warning look from Veronica

"I'm all about grass-roots." She replies with a smile and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. She goes off about being disenfranchised and the split between the haves-and-the-have-nots.

"So how do you account for your sudden popularity?" Veronica is acting incredibly serious and has her mouth contorted to a firm line and I can tell her eyes are searching for something vaguely interesting in Wanda's little 'it-sucks-to-be-poor' sob story.

"It's class warfare the haves versus the have-nots. You, more than anyone at school should understand that." That pool of guilt that seems to so constantly rise whenever she's around comes up again. When she mumbles in agreement I can't help but wonder just how bad things got for her. I feel even worse when I realize that there isn't much to wonder about. Anything really bad that happened to Veronica was caused directly or indirectly by my own quest to avenge Lily's tape being released by her father. After looking through Keith's detailed notes last night it is hard to still believe that the man didn't care about Lily or her memory. In with all the press releases Veronica had me read in case of a discrepancy there was one where he insisted he wasn't out to get the Kane's but he refused to over-look evidence leading to them simply because of their wealth and power. It changed my opinion of Keith in two ways. Firstly it was such a logical argument that lifted the white noise that clouded my reason since the day Jake Kane was accused and I realized that he was just doing his job. Secondly it made me realize that the days I spent wishing that an authority figure would not over look evidence linking my dad to my back simply because of his wealth and power would be hypocritical if I didn't expect the same treatment of the Kanes.

"Logan are you alright?" Veronica's voice quickly pulls me out of my moment of realization and I quickly look away from her blue eyes.

"I think Duncan should run."

Veronica POV

The boy does have a gift for evasiveness. I nod in agreement.

"He'd be good." Logan's thoughtful smirk turns into a wide grin. Which, believe me, is scary.

"I gotta go." He says running off before I can ask him what the hell is in the delivery that has made him crazy. First he looks all guilty during Wanda's tirade as if he actually feels bad about the elitist school system. I know Logan enough to know that that's not the case. Two seconds later he thinks Duncan should run for class president which, though not the worst idea he has had recently, is totally off topic.

His 'brilliant idea' is revealed later when he surprises Duncan by getting Aaron to endorse him. As soon as the commercial finishes Duncan glowers at Logan seemingly caught between punching him and simply being amused at the length Logan will go to have his lunch delivered. His mood does not improve when he comes to sit with us at lunch.

"Did you vote for me?" Wallace shrugs innocently which means he did. Duncan glares at him then turns to me.

"I think you'd be a great president Duncan." I say with an innocent smile and his face is caught between shock and disgruntlement "However I, unlike Logan, do not feel the need to force you into it." His pained expression turns to relief then back again when the PA system starts announcing the election winners.

"There will be no run-off election for student body president." Duncan mutters in relief and, in a wonderful act of hypocrisy, starts to eat the Chinese he brought us. "The winner of this year's election is Duncan Kane!" Wallace laughs at Duncan who almost chokes on an egg roll.

"And that's how it's done!" Logan says sitting beside us a foot-wide grin on his face receiving a death glare from Duncan. Surprising all but Duncan by gracing us with his presence in public, something tells me Duncan has another 'chat' with his best friend.

"Dude, don't take this the wrong way." Luke, another sometimes fixture at our table, sits down beside Logan. "But there is no way you could have carried half the student body." All members of the table look around to see the majority of the students sympathizing with Wanda.

"Now we have a story." I say grabbing a carton of chow mien from Logan who looks a little too comfortable with results of the election.

"Duncan won. We have lunch delivery. I fail to see the problem." Logan says tucking a knee under his armpit before passing a container of sweet and sour pork to Wallace.

"The problem is there is no way Duncan won that legitly" Duncan nods in agreement then turns to me with the last egg roll.

"Mars, get me out of this and you get the last egg roll." He raises his eyebrows hopefully and I take out the egg roll who am I to refuse food from the student council president.

Logan's POV

Lily had a thing for pissing off Celeste. She'd drive too fast, stay out too late and date me. Caitlin had a thing for status. She'd talk to the right people, when to the right parties and date me. Veronica Mars has a thing for conspiracy theories. So that is why I am standing with Wallace and Wanda putting scantron after scantron through the machine. I'm partly there because Veronica made me but more so because I don't particularly want to go home.

"What did you get?" Veronica asks after I put the last one through

"Duncan still wins in a landslide." Wallace says confused "How many times are we going to run it?"

"My man we are stuck here until she is done uncovering corruption" I say making bunny ears around the last part and receiving a semi-snarl from Wallace in response.

"Hey if Wanda rules why did you vote for Duncan you head case." Veronica says more to herself than to the room before passing the ballot to Wanda. She turns to Wallace "I want to find out who this kid is and what art room he voted in." She says quickly before looking back at the ballots. This bossiness is definitely a new development but judging by Wallace smile of inevitability, a development that he deals with daily."

"And I want a statue of myself in the main lobby, holding a musket, staring down at danger." If Wallace were a girl this is where he would bat his eyelashes innocently. "Since we're talking about stuff we want."

To appease him Veronica simpers and says please before dragging me down to the kid's art room. Turns out she was right about the whole conspiracy theory thing.

Veronica's POV

"Say it again." We had just proved to the administration that two sets of ballot instructions supplied by a duplicitous Madison Sinclair were the sole cause of Duncan's victory.

"You were right." Logan growls before opening up a word document. "I still think Duncan would make a better president."

"I agree" If Logan is surprised by this he doesn't show it. "So we're going to check out the safety deposit box next week. You can come if you want." Logan agrees and I think he's realizing that sometimes conspiracy theories pan-out.

"Come over tomorrow." Logan smirks at my raised eyebrows "To work on the assignment I won't threaten your virtue Veronica."

"Well it's not like I have much virtue to tamper with." I give Logan my patented you-know-exactly-what-I'm-talking-about look before turning back to the computer.

"Did the lacrosse team take it all for themselves. God they're selfish that way." Logan has done a pretty good job of playing nice ever since Duncan dragged him to the office and told him Koontz didn't kill Lily. Apparently that was just Logan appeasing Duncan.

"Just as the critics were having some doubts Logan." I say with a heavy sigh and pick up my books before he can hurl another insult at me. Maybe I shouldn't take it personally and chances are he was just falling back into old habits or joking but I'm done pretending it's funny. It is like he has become two separate people. Sometimes he's his old self rude, obnoxious but has that air of being a genuinely good person. Then it's as if he catches himself acting like a human being and he reverts to being a complete jackass.

It defiantly the jackass vibe I get when I walk into school the next morning and see the words NARC spray painted boldly over her signs. As one who has had multiple words spray painted on her locker I can't help but feel sorry for her.

"I think my campaign just went negative." Duncan said looking at the defaced sign. My dad always says he can tell a guy's true intentions by looking in his eyes. So I give him a very hard, very calculated stare. 

"Don't give me that look Veronica you know I didn't do this." As many flaws as Duncan has, being a complete ass isn't one of them. It is, however, a flaw of Logan's. I find him in journalism staring at one of the computer screens as if it is about to bite him.

"Bravo Logan this is a new low even for you." I've apparently snapped him out of some sort of daze and his momentary look of confusion twists into one of malice.

"You must be talking about your narc friend W-W-Wanda." Here's the thing with Logan the second he has you believing he is not the spawn of Satan, he reminds you that all he is lacking is horns.

"Look I just don't have time to be responsible for every little thing that goes wrong in your life." He takes another look at the computer than shutters involuntarily before storming out. If I wasn't mistaken he sounded genuinely offended. Wallace tells me he'll ask around for the initiator of the narc campaign and Luke assures me it wasn't an 09er. For about two seconds I feel bad about accusing Logan. I get over it quickly.

A bit more digging and pretending to have E proves that the narc rumors were more of a reality and I have no qualms about voting for Duncan. One look at a pride-filled Jake Kane during his son's acceptance speech – which promised to extend pirate points to the 'disenfranchised – and I want to take him off the suspects list. Surely a man who skips work to watch his son accept his student council presidency could not have killed his own daughter. I expect to see Logan as Duncan accepts his spot as king and assures him that he doesn't have to eat sloppy joes. It is then I remember the idiot staged bum fights and was going to soup kitchens to clear up his Dad's P.R. I snap a few more picture of Duncan, and flash him a cheesy thumbs up which he returns with a subtle eye roll before asking what candy should be sold at prom. A few minutes later I'm pushing past the hall and heading to the Echolls' mansion.

A flustered maid answers the door and looks a little wary when I say I'm here for Logan. Assuming she thinks I'm some fan of Aaron looking for an in through his son I tell her to look at the list and push past her towards Logan's room. It has been a while since I've been to the Echolls mansion but I've been there enough to know exactly where Logan's room is and to be confused about eerie quiet that seems to have settled over the house. Chalking it up to Aaron being a foul mood because Logan is an idiot I knock gently on the door.

"Mom I told you I'm fine, just leave me alone please." His tone sounds as bored and apathetic as it usually does when he is trying to get someone to leave him alone but there is undercurrent of something I haven't heard before.

"Logan?" I knock again and open the door. "If you think I'm writing 2,500 words praising Duncan Kane alone you…" There are few things that shock Veronica Mars. Jumping out from beside a door still works, as does 09ers being nice but Logan Echolls lying face down on his bed looking utterly defeated would have made my jaw drop if I didn't quickly realize that would be the worst reaction I could possibly have.

"Veronica Mars. Can this day get any better?" He quickly jumps to his feet and gives me a half-smirk. He didn't jump up fast enough for me to miss the speck of blood on his shirt though. Even if I did the black eye was a bit of a giveaway something was definitely up.

"Logan what's going on?" Had he gotten in another fight? His face darkens for an instant before he looks at me like I'm an idiot.

"Mars you're slow for a detective. I was at a homeless shelter. I am a classist pig."He then gestures wildly to his black eye. "This is what happens to classist pigs at homeless shelters." I pick up the pack of ice he abandoned on his beside counter and wrap it in one of the shirts he has strewn on his bed. I push him down by his shoulders and he complies with only a slight eye-roll. Gently I press the compress to his swelling eye and he holds my eye contact intensely.

"How about you tell me what really happened Logan." His forehead crinkles and he his eyes shift to the side as if trying to figure out how I knew he was lying.

"It's nothing against your talent for bullshit Logan but the polysporin was kind of a giveaway." His face quickly contorts from confusion to anger. God keeping up with this guys emotion's is like going on a bike ride with Lance Armstrong.

"Tell me something does your super sleuth kit come with a spy pen? Decoder ring?" He stands up quickly dropping the ice pack on the bed and starts scowling menacingly at me. It would be more effective if he had the use of both his eyes.

Logan POV

There are certain things you don't want anyone to find out about. These things you really don't want the one person in the world with the power and the motivation to destroy you to find out. When I talk about power and information getting into the wrong hands I mean Veronica Mars. Who is, of course, on the verge of discovering a childhood secret that I would really prefer to remain a secret.

"Detective kit does come with a spy pen. I had the decoder ring brought in special." There is no fire behind her eyes and she I know retorted to my quip only to make me realize I wasn't going to intimidate her into leaving.

"Look just leave what you have so far and I'll finish it. I'm sure you found plenty of nice things to say about Duncan." So the anger was a little misplaced there but when your father whips you with a belt while talking about how Duncan never embarrasses his father a little antagonism is expected. I'm pretty sure it is the insult to Duncan that clues her in that something is really wrong. Veronica knows my loyalty to Duncan is unwavering. She lost her circle of friends because of it. I sit on the bed and put the ice pack over my eye well aware of the fact that Veronica is weighing her options. She sits down beside me and I through her a pointedly annoyed look which she, of course, ignores. She puts a hand on my back and, because karma is apparently a bitch, lands on one of my fresh welts making me flinch and hiss audibly and causing her to recoil in a mixture of shock and confusion. No one outside my family has ever been 

privy to this and I certainly cannot think of a single response she is going to have that I am going to be ok with.

"Veronica I'm not one of your cases go play Nancy Drew with someone else." I can't stand the look of what I'm sure is fake concern on her face. There is no way a girl who I have treated so horribly can feel any true compassion for me now.

"Take off your shirt." Finally something I can work with

"I knew the rumors were true." I add a half-hearted smirk at the end. Enough slut comments and she'll be huffing out of here making a snarky exit in no time. Unfortunately, I underestimate Veronica's persistence. The shirt is sticking to the fresh welts and, in reality, there is nothing I'd rather do then take it off and go to sleep. The only reason it was on in the first place was because I didn't want my mother to see the full-extent of my father's work. She carefully lifts the hem of my shirt, too her credit she's going slow enough that I could stop her. It would be pointless to stop her she's Veronica Mars she'll step over anyone to get her answers.

"God you're nosey." I say with a humorless laugh as she looks under my shirt. I wait for her to pull away in horror or pull a Trina and maintain that there is no way my father could have done this. She doesn't do either just pulls the bloody shirt over my head being extra cautious over the areas where the blood has connected to the shirt. The sting is starting to subside without the constant chaffing from the shirt. I turn around confused on why she hasn't said anything and I realize she's gone. Why are the women in my life she such flakes? I lie stomach-down on the bed and close my eyes wanting to go downstairs to grab enough pain-killer to get a decent night's sleep but to sore and fed-up to actually to it. I'm about to drift off when I feel something warm and wet on my back. Assuming it's my mother I automatically pull away from the touch I turn around to tell her I'm find and just to leave it but when I see Veronica I realize that argument won't fly. Her hands are more careful than my mothers. She is gentle and takes her time going softly around each angry red gash. It's probably because she's sober.

"You really don't have to do this whole Florence Nightingale thing really, I'm fine." The gentle way she blots away the excess blood along with how she lets her hands linger on the unharmed part of my back as if to assure me she is not leaving reek of pity. The last thing I want is pity from my enemy. "Really I don't need you're pity."

"Good, because I was secretly waiting to get the salt shaker out so I could really lay the hurt on." She puts the washcloth and lets one had rest softly on my shoulder blade. "I am not pitying you Logan." Her voice is so soft and maternal it is hard to imagine in coming from someone as tough as Veronica Mars.

Veronica's POV

I wonder if he knows how scared he looks right now. Even when he tries to mock me he is so afraid of my reaction that I would be laughing hysterically if the circumstances were remotely funny. In addition to finding Lily's murderer I have a new life's mission: Destroy Aaron Echolls' life. Logan may be a jackass 

but no one deserves to be treated like this. He shaking and I would say it is from the cold but it's warm enough in here. He's freaked out and right now he's not scared of Aaron, he's scared of me.

"So I suppose you want me to go the authorities with this." Logan's back is tense and I can tell he's been mulling that comment over for a while.

"I think that you're father is a very powerful, very loved man." Logan squeezes his eyes shut and I realize with horror he is expecting me to say I don't believe Aaron did this. "Jesus Logan I don't mean that. I know very well that he did this." Logan relaxes slightly at this "I just mean that I understand your father has the ability to pay off the people who are meant to make a difference." I start to gently rub circles on the unmarred area between his shoulders. "If you do want to go to the authorities I'll help you as much as I can and I'm sure I can speak for Duncan when I say we'll stand by you."

"Don't bother. No point. My mother went when I was 12 and all Lamb wanted was a donation. My father found out. Wasn't happy." He stifles a yawn and shifts trying in vain to find a comfortable position. I hand him the strongest painkillers I found in the house and he gratefully takes them dry before I have a chance to offer him water.

"We'll figure it out Logan."

"We?" The painkillers are starting to affect the already exhausted boy and I can't stop myself from stroking his hair.

"Yeah. We." Oh god what have I gotten myself into. The painkillers drive him into a fitful sleep and it's only then when I really look at Aaron's handy work. Long, sliver width scars intricately weave throughout his back each one holding its own traumatic experience. I allow my fingers to softly trace the lines on his back as I carefully avoid the fresh wounds. If we ever did decide to go to the cops Logan's case would have to be impermeable. Circumstantial evidence and here-say would not be enough do take down someone who can afford such powerful lawyers. He's fast asleep, slack jaw and drool-puddle proof that drugs really do work. Quietly I pick my camera out of my bag and shoot crime-scene-like photos of his scarred back. I go at with abandon, zooming in on the worst wounds as well as some circular shaped marks. I bring the camera down when I realize what they are. Burn marks. Oh Aaron Echolls is going to wish he were dead. My eyes fill with tears and I quickly blink them back. How could I have missed this? My stomach churns as I think of the bong incident, the time Duncan sprayed champagne all over Logan when he borrowed Aaron's tux all the times he made some off-hand comment about his father being an asshole and I chuckled sympathetically before chalking it up to teenage angst. He grunts and mumbles something incoherent in his sleep and I instinctively place a soothing hand on his shoulder. The gesture immediately causes him to relax and I can't help but think he is so much easier to deal with asleep. Knowing I have to develop and hide the pictures of Logan's back before he or anyone else can find them I turn up the heat enough so he won't need to be covered by a blanket, re-stuff my camera in my bag and quickly scribble him a note instructing him to call me if he needs anything. I hesitate for a minute than under-line everything. Guess I'm back to caring about Logan Echolls. I probably never stopped.


	7. Making reservations in hell

**Season 1 Episode 7:** Making reservations in hell

**Episode Description:** Veronica's revelation causes Logan to walk on eggshells until she needs his help. A visit to the bank gets Duncan on edge. Weevil and Logan get detention together leading to more than anyone bargained for

A/N: I own nadda

Logan POV

I read the note with a groan before falling back on my bed. Have you ever had a nightmare where your nemesis finds out your deep dark secret? Turns out my nightmare is reality. Although most of the night was spend in a pain-killer induced haze, faint memories of cool fingers cleaning and soothing my swollen skin seem too real to be imagined. I dress cautiously as I re-read the note: _Call me if you need __anything._When I imagine her saying it her eyes narrow and look at give me that do-as-I-say-or-else look. I dress slowly layering on multiple shirts to prevent any accidental exposure. One nosey classmate is more than enough.

"Logan honey time for school." My mom opens the door with an overly large smile and I kiss her on the cheek obligingly before I head into hell. There is a very slim chance that Veronica kept her mouth shut. Above loyalty, love and trust Veronica values justice. Nothing would be most just than walking into school to find pictures of my scarred back taped to my locker like the pictures of her drunken night at Shelley's I tacked up on hers, or hearing the rumor mill buzzing about how Logan's Dad beats him, or at least Logan pretends his Dad beats him.

There is nothing taped to my locker and nobody is giving me a wide-berth. Color-me confused but do nothing isn't exactly Veronica's MO anymore. I open my locker to find a bottle of Advil sitting on the bottom shelf. Maybe her idea of justice was to make me feel so guilty that I deserve the beating more than I already do.

"So are you coming with us today?" Duncan's voice breaks into my stream of consciousness. "The safety deposit box. I mean it's probably a dead end but.." Duncan looks at the Advil "Hey are you ok man?"

"It's nothing, migraine you now it is." Duncan just nods sympathetically knowing full well the frequency of my headaches. "I don't think Veronica will want me around man just let me know if it's something important." Duncan looks like he is trying to choose between anger and concern

"What did you do Logan?" His voice is tired like he's pissed he's going to have to give me another lecture about how to act towards Veronica.

"I didn't do anything I just –" How exactly do I put this "Common man I mean she hates my guts." Duncan doesn't seem completely convinced but promises he'll let me know if anything important happens at the bank. Tired and sore I head of to take the English test I have not studied for.

In general I like English. I have always been good with words and reading and speaking both involve a lot of subtext. I'm good with subtext. Half-way through the test I notice Weevil looking at my test.

"Don't they teach you manners in ESL?" I grumble back at him

"If I was gonna cheat don't you think I'd pick someone smart?" Ah yes the old stand-bys when in doubt insult a guy's intelligence or penis.

"If you was gonna?" I didn't say I was above the old stand-bys. The teacher, who is obviously sadistic, gives us both detention and feels the need to remind me that the glow of my father's wealth won't follow me out of high school. If only it were true.

Veronica's POV

Logan is avoiding me. Not only that, he is also really bad at it. He'll be walking my direction, notice me, look like a deer in the headlights then bolt the opposite way. I haven't told Duncan. I figured that if Logan is acting this freaked out and I haven't told anyone yet, telling Duncan will make him head for the hills.

"Ready?" Duncan asks leaning by my locker. A smile and nod before following him to his car. On the ride there Duncan tells me that Logan told him I wouldn't want to have him around. To Duncan I chalk it up to Logan using good judgment for once in his life. Privately, I wonder why he's going through such trouble simply to avoid me.

The bank manager is nice enough as we, ironically, play the role of brother and sister looking for closure by empty their mother's safety deposit box. Duncan's nervous and understandably so. If there is incriminating evidence in my mom's safety deposit box it is almost certain that Jake Kane would have been involved in covering up Lily's death.

There's nothing too exciting in there, her wedding ring, a small bar of gold that was a family heirloom and a thin manila folder. I check through the folder immediately changing my mind about the importance of its contents.

"Oh my god Duncan." Pictures of me with a target drawn on my face stare back at me. _Is this why mom left? Who would want to threaten me? Could it be the same person who killed Lilly? _Duncan looks as scared as I feel. I swear his eyes widen with every picture.

"Do you think my father…" He is torn between shock and anger at the thought that his father could have done this.

"We don't know who did this. It could be completely unrelated." The pictures were taken around the time that Lily was murdered. We are about to narrow it down by finding out the date of book week and realizing that one of the photos were taken outside a counseling office I went to every Thursday right after Lily died. All we need to do now is check the angle of the shot and see whose bill matches the time of the impromptu photo shoot.

Logan's POV

There are few things in life I hate more than being stuck in detention with Weevil Navarro while he gives me a lecture on classism at Neptune High. Our poker game, designed to pass the time a little smoother, simply gives us a full week's detention. It's lucky that nothing below a suspension shows up on my parent's radar or Veronica would really be in for a treat. Suddenly a white-faced Duncan runs into the classroom basically dragging a too-calm Veronica with him.

"Is this Reno or detention?" Veronica asks me with a light smile.

"Would you believe the best of both?" I reply grateful for her light snarking and attempt at normalcy.

"Really not the time to be joking" Duncan says in his best next-president voice. Veronica glances semi-nervously at him then throws her hands up in surrender. "Look at these." Duncan hands me a manila folder. I look at him quizzically before opening the folder and looking through the pictures of a younger Veronica in a riffle site. What the fuck.

"What the hell is this?" I demand as Weevil takes the photos before either of us can stop him. "Veronica?" I know I sound mad where I should sound concerned but it's not every day you see your semi-friends picture framed by a rifle.

"I don't know." She responds quietly.

"Who sent them?" Weevil is all in a huff now. "Cause me and my boys will take care.."

"No" Veronica cuts Weevil off mid-sentence. Personally, I think it is the first good idea Weevil has had, ever.

"We can use this to our advantage." Veronica wants to use people threatening to murder her to our advantage. "Plus these photos are old. I don't think an attack is exactly imminent." Oh well in that case.

"Veronica are you insane?" I explode shoving the pictures in her face. "You're saying you want to use yourself as bait for some crazy riffle-site drawing, stalker who is basically threatening to kill you?" Duncan winces a little at the last part but Veronica's face just grows stonier.

"I'm saying that we need to find out who did this and why before we let Weevil go all Hells Angels on them." I can tell that this is a plan she already discussed with Duncan who nods along but seems none too pleased. Weevil simply hands her a piece of paper with all the guys from his little bike club written down on it instructing her to call him should the need for protection.

"Hold it Weevs if anyone is doing any protecting it's us." I snarl getting an amused eyebrow raise from Duncan and leaving Veronica totally confused.

"Yeah you white boys really know how to strike fear in people's hearts."

Veronica POV

"Boys, boys. I am not a damsel in distress I'll be fine." I'll go to the restaurant tomorrow and we'll go from there. Logan scuffs his feet on the floor giving one of those asinine half-smiles

"You're not going alone." I open my mouth to protest but between Duncan's fatherly make-good-choices glance, Weevil's quirked eyebrow and Logan's refusal to take no for an answer I end up agreeing to allow Logan Echolls to accompany me.

"So now that you're my bodyguard do I get to dress you up in a funny uniform?" I ask trying to break the silence that looms over us as we drive to the café.

"Hm well you can try but remember you are leaving your safety in my hands." Logan teases squinting against the sun. It's hard to combine the images of Logan Echolls heartbreaker and resident asshole with Logan Echolls abused, misunderstood son. It's so Degrassi I can hardly stand it.

"So how are you?" I've been struggling to come up with a nice segway. That is the best I can do. Really need to work on my emotional conversing skills. Logan sighs giving a slight hm before looking at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Well a little irked that I have detention with the criminal element all week." He says cheerfully before stopping at a red light. "Apperantly we didn't learn respect in the home. I guess my father wasn't trying hard enough." Logan tries to play anything remotely serious off as a joke. Maybe he's worried that I'll do the same.

"It isn't your fault Logan."I barely recognize the sound of my own voice. His eyes shift casually between me and the street. He doesn't want to have this conversation. His knuckles are turning white from gripping the steering wheel and he's hardly focused on the road.

"Yeah well try explaining that to him." Logan says with one of his trademark smiles of inevitability. He pulls in to a parking spot and shuts off the engine. "So when exactly is the shit going to uh hit the fan." He gives a small sigh my confused look. "I mean when is Daddy Mars going to come barging in demanding justice, or when is Duncan going to come by to have a 'talk'." He is worn out and his façade is slowly breaking down. His eyes staring straight ahead tell me he is too afraid to look me straight in the eye and bouncing of his knee is a trademark act of discomfort.

"That all depends on whether or not you want that to happen." Logan doesn't trust me. I'm not all that surprised but I feel like I need to have him trust me on this. "Logan I'm not going to tell anyone you don't want me to tell. If you want to get the cops involved I already told you I'd help. If you want to tell Duncan he'll say the same thing. If you don't then you have a place to go." He wants to believe me so badly but I don't think anyone has offered no-string-attached support to him before and he doesn't know if he can believe that I'm not secretly out to get him.

Logan's POV

I can feel a heavy ball of emotion in my throat as she insists all she wants to do is help. It's not that I need her help. I am almost 18 and there isn't anything she could do anyways. For some odd reason I believe her when she says that she'll keep her mouth shut. She has no reason to. I didn't pull my punches and she shouldn't either but I know she will. I try desperately to change the subject before I either feel the need to apologize or start crying in front of her. Both completely unacceptable courses of action.

"Let's go catch your stalker then." I watch with amusement as she rotates through the tables finding which one creates the same angle as one of her freaky stalker pics. If you had told me a week ago I would be playing bodyguard to Veronica Mars while she tried to figure out if there was a connection between her stalker and Lily's killer I would have said you were crazy. It doesn't take much to convince the manager to hand over the time stamped receipts and even less time for Veronica to plug the name in for a background check.

"Clarence Weidman?" Veronica says to me as she flips open her laptop. "Do you know the name." Something about the same seems vaguely familiar and makes me slightly nervous.

"Uh I think I've heard it before." I say raking my memory for the source of the familiar name as we head over to the Kane estate. Turns out Duncan does know Clarence Weidman. One look at his surprised face as he reviews the receipts grimly is all the confirmation I need that things are about to get really, really bad.

Veronica POV

"So let me get this straight." I asked looking intently between a disbelieving Duncan and an alarmed Logan. "Clarence Weidman, the head of security at Kane Software, bullied my mom in to leaving town by sending her surveillance photos of me." I don't both to hide my shocked expression as I sink down on the Kane's couch between the two distraught boys.

"This is beyond fucked up." Logan says with a wry laugh. "I guess I should reconsider my position on conspiracy theories." For all of Logan's bad boy habits and family issues he was still an unbelievably optimistic person. Not in the standard everything-will-turn-out-well way but in the sense that he once he discovered the people he decided were good guys turned out to be the villains it crushed him. Logan loves the Kanes. He has a key to their door, a toothbrush in the holder and Celeste remembers his birthday this made him and extension of their family. A place Logan could go to escape his own because even if the Kane's weren't perfect he never had to worry Jake would strike him.

It takes a little effort to convince Duncan to not jump in his car and head straight for his Dad's office demanding answers. It was Logan's rational argument: if he did kill Lily, did Duncan think he was going to draw the moral line at killing him? that finally convinced a reluctant Duncan to stay put.

Trying to sleep was basically pointless. Logan calls me at 11 to make sure that I am alive. My only response is to tell him that if he wakes me up again people will be wondering the same of him. Not even half an hour later the phone rings with an on edge Duncan telling me that nothing seems out of the ordinary. You can imagine how much the phone call was appreciated.

The crowd around the flagpole made me groan inwardly. Another poor kid stupid enough to piss of the PCHers. Switchblade ready I walk to the flagpole to find…Mr Daniels car? It doesn't take a genius to figure out who's responsible. I look from Weevil to Logan who are both standing in the doorway 

watching the scene from afar, smug smiles fixed on both their faces. I give them a half-smile and disbelieving head shake with Logan returns with a mile-wide grin.

Wallace is at an away game leaving me, Duncan and Logan alone at the table. Duncan hasn't sat at the 09er table for weeks and Logan is beginning to frequent our table more often.

"So did you hear they suspended that Navarro kid?" Duncan says conversationally digging in to the pizza. He shakes his head with a laugh "I didn't know the expelled people at our school." Logan has the good sense to avoid my eye contact.

"Wait they expelled him?" Logan asks quietly the guilt in his voice poorly hidden.

"Yeah" Duncan fails to see the troubled expression on Logan's face and continues telling the story with an animated expression. " I was in the office getting my schedule changed and you could hear Daniels blowing a fuse." He finishes his pizza than points a finger in Logan's face for emphasis "Tell us who helped you! Tell us who helped you! Anyways they have yet to actually change my schedule so I will see you two later." Duncan takes another piece of pizza and leaves me and very contrite Logan sitting alone at the lunch table.

"I'll fix it." He says without making eye contact with me. I'm guessing he thinks I'm going to go off on a tirade about the unfairness of Weevil's suspension or the irresponsibility of the prank. Personally I thought it was ingenious.

"I know." He's surprised at my response and studies my face for traces of sarcasm.

"You don't just do good things because Duncan or I force you too." It is almost hard to believe that someone can have as little regard for themselves as Logan and portray such a cocky façade. "You're not a bad guy Logan." Ok so heart-to-hearts with Logan Echolls aren't exactly my idea of a good time but someone's got to tell him. As I expected he doesn't respond to my honest comment, just gives an apprehensive smile and a curt nod before walking off to free Weevil from expulsion.

Logan's POV

Can the girl pick a side? On one hand she's a vindictive bitch, on the other hand she has not made a single comment to anyone about my father when she had every reason to shout it to the world. One minute she's cutting to me to pieces with her wit and two seconds later she's telling me she thinks I'm "not a bad guy" with such sincerity that I almost believe it. Veronica Mars, the great anomaly.

As I expected it doesn't take much to get Weevil reinstated. A flash of my father's boots from Hair Trigger and we're painting over graffiti. Weevil let's me pick which paint roller I want and makes no comments about my wealth or my father. I think that's Mexican for thank you. The very unsteady almost truce we have is broken when I see a tattoo on his arm. More specifically a tattoo of a heart with the name Lilly bannered across it.

"What is that?" I angrily pull down his wife beater

"It's my arm dawg." Weevil says quickly pulling away from my grasp

"Why do you have Lily's name tattooed on your arm." I'm right in his face now causing the biker to drop his roller and face off.

"You really wanna know? If he thinks that's going to cause me to back down he obviously doesn't know me or my father.

"Yeah" My voice raises an octave threatening to give away the twisting feeling in the pit of my stomach. He's starring at me hard for a moment deciding whether or not to tell me what I already have figured out

"Lily's my sister's name, man. That ok with you?" He's lying.

Veronica POV

I'm half-way through the Big Lebowski when I hear a rather frantic knock at the door. I open to reveal a bloody nosed Logan looking…angry?

"Did you know?" He asks storming in enraged. I am so glad my father is chasing a bail jumper because the tone of Logan's voice alone would get him kicked out otherwise. Between trying to see if he is injured anywhere else and trying to figure out what I supposedly know I cannot come up with a remotely witty retort.

"Do I know what?" I ask trying to touch his face to gage the amount of damage done. He immediately shakes my hand away and looks as though he is trying to find something to break. This would be the prime time to calm him down. "Do I know what Logan?" I ask again softer this time trying to break through the thick bubble of rage that is wrapped around him.

"Lily and Weevil did you know they were…" He looks pained as he tries to find the words. "they were I don't know something." He is shaking with rage at the thought of someone else betraying him and he is so busy seeing red that he misses my expression of utter disbelief.

"Lily and Weevil?!" I repeat more for my benefit than his. Unfortunately this does nothing to pacify him and he pounds the countertop causing Back-up to growl.

"Back-up chill." I command and the dog continues to eye Logan who looks slightly abashed. "I knew – know nothing about Lily and Weevil. Like before you guys dated?" Part of me is still the naïve girl who doesn't believe Lily would even consider cheating on Logan.

"I'm thinking more like during" He basically spits out. "Don't play this you had to know. You were her best friend." I think Logan wants to believe that I did know. That his maniacal witch hunt he has conducted over the past year held some sort of karmatic justice.

"Logan I swear I had-have no idea." Logan's heavy, angry breaths are beginning to slow and his wild pacing has stopped. He's bracing himself on the kitchen counter his back turned to me. I'm partially glad 

he can't see my face but I know he needs to look in to my eyes to believe me. I walk towards him and lightly put a hand on his shoulder causing him to look at me. "I didn't know. If I did I would have told you." I force myself to keep eye contact as his brown eyes bore into me while he judges my sincerity. Half-way between relieved that I didn't betray him and broken-up over Lily's infidelity he nods helplessly sinking down on one of the kitchen counters. All his anger expended.

"Weevil give you the bloody nose and matching shiner?" I ask as I wet one of the tea towels. He doesn't speak until I blot the blood away from his nose and hand him a bad of frozen peas for his eye.

"No" He says emotionlessly before getting up to leave. "See you tomorrow Veronica." I take the opportunity to ask the devil to reserve the hottest corner in hell for Aaron Echolls and before I can stop him, Logan is out the door.

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW for the story to continue…3**


	8. Communication is overrated

**Season 1 Episode 8**: Communication is over-rated

A/N: What if I said they were mine?? What would really happen?? Not willing to find out…Not mine never will be.

**Episode Guide: **A purity test strengthens and breaks ties and getting in to see Koontz requires drastic measures.

"Cliff McCormick just they gentleman we wanted to see." I say from behind my desk smiling brightly at him.

"Can I get you a coffee, a doughnut a baked good of some sort?" Duncan says closing the door to my office behind him. His smile mirrors mine and he walks over to stand behind me. If we didn't look mildly related before our matching shit-eating grins would make anyone understand Celeste's suspicions.

"Aren't we pleasant" Cliff says eyeing us both suspiciously. "You aren't going to try to sell me a raffle ticket are you?" Duncan smile falters slightly.

"Not exactly we want you to get us on death row to see Abel Koontz." Not surprisingly Cliff refuses to do much more than hand him a letter stating his case and leaves after realizing my Dad didn't really call him in. Wallace comes to pick Duncan up for 'guy time' which I understand to involve video games and beer leaving me to fall asleep studying history.

If there is anything I learned from history is that it tends to repeat itself. This would explain why I am staring at my clothes which are submerged in a toilet.

"Don't think because you've got Duncan wrapped around you're little finger that you're anything more than trash" Madison said snidely regarding my dripping wet clothes.

"A for effort Madison but where is the originality?" I exclaim with faux exasperation "I expect effort to be put in your evil schemes." Her lips purse and color is flushing up her cheeks "We're still best enemies right I mean…We didn't break up?" Madison spins on her over-priced flats and storms out, a posse of vapid blondes (and some brunettes) behind her. Meg Manning is casually leaning on a locker regarding the scene. Her porcelain face breaks into a smile when the rest of the 09ers leave.

"So you need something to wear?" This is the story of how Veronica Mars ends up walking through the halls of Neptune in a cheerleading uniform.

The whispers and taunts make their way into my ears before I even walk out to the quad. Meg, though an 09er, is known to be demure and her presence isn't threatening enough to hold off the leers or insults.

"Why don't you come sit with us?" She says with a kind smile. "You are dressed for the occasion." Wallace is sitting with team and Duncan has already sat down at the 09er table Meg is gesturing at. I have a test next period, no time to go home and a wise man once said keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

"Sure why not?" Meg smiles and leads the way cheerfully, getting frustrated glances from the other 09ers except Duncan who is taking the time to fully examine the cheerleading uniform.

"Not that I'm complaining but what the hell are you wearing?" Duncan asks jovially gesturing to the uniform. I roll my eyes and sit down without responding. Logan and Dick come barreling up with a laptop yammering about a purity test and Logan's eyes briefly scoured my body before flickering back to the screen. Apparently it's an online list of questions involving anything sex, drug, or rock and roll related. After the questions are answered the site calculates what percentage pure you are. This is going to be fun to discuss at a table where I'm known to be the school whore.

"Anything below a 60 is really slutty." Pam says starring at me pointedly. Logan looks down and I can't read his expression but Duncan speaks up quickly to dissipate the tension.

"Unless you're a guy." The crowd snickers and starts bugging an overly virginal Cole and Meg about their high scores.

"I think it's sexy you decided to wait." Meg pipes up kissing him defiantly on the lips before running off to talk with her sister.

"Kissing on the lips now Cole?" Duncan teases looking down quickly at my chiding glance.

"Someone please describe second base to me. Is it beautiful there?" Logan rolls his eyes and is about to retort but Madison beats him too it.

"Ask Veronica she's the expert." Well the conversation was centered on purity the standard slut comments were expected. I turn to Cole and look deadly serious.

"Judging from the way Madison talks to Dick these days I don't think it's all it's cracked up to be. Then again that could be due to the fact that it's lost its novelty for her."The table has picked up on the tension and Dick seems to be raking his small brain for something to say to defend his girlfriend.

"Whatever Veronica Mars as least I didn't make out with half the grade at Shelley's party." Madison's voice is accusatory and calm. If it wasn't directed at me I would have to give her props for her ability to snark calmly under fire.

"No but you did make out with Casey at Dick's party while you were dating Dick." The whole table is now interested and alternate between throwing Madison confused, accusatory stares and sympathetically watching Dick's reaction. Dick is caught between confusion and hurt and I almost feel bad for bringing this up publically.

"Can you guys please fight in the matching uniforms because that would be beyond hot?" Logan says with an awkward laugh trying to smooth the situation over with humor most likely for Dick's benefit. For once Madison doesn't pay him heed.

"Well at least I didn't service half of Neptune while stabbing my dead best friend in the back. Then again slutting up Neptune would be a fitting tribute for Lily wouldn't it" You know how in fights people say 

horrible things that they regret while they are saying them? This was one of those moments for Madison Sinclair who immediately looks contrite as both Duncan and Logan rise to their feet.

"Don't talk about my sister" Duncan said too calmly before stalking walking off towards the bleachers. The rest of the table was stunned silent. They were waiting for me to slap her, to break down, to rehash another slutty Madison event or for Logan to reel at the mention of his dead girlfriend. I just walk away wordlessly leaving her at the mercy of the other 09ers who too had been Lily's friends, or at least were Dick's. Screw the history test I'm not spending another minute in this evil uniform.

"Veronica" I know that voice. Really not the person I want to deal with right now. I speed up. "Veronica, stop." He grabs my wrist causing me to halt abruptly.

"Where are you going?" Logan asks calmly as if he thought the Lily comment was going to affect me as it did Duncan. He doesn't know people say way worse about Lily when he wasn't listening. It is a special form of torture just for me, whisper Lily comments just loud enough for me to hear. Few stoop low enough to use Lily's memory against me but those who do, do it well.

"Home." Logan may be coming around but the Lily comment would have stung him too and I don't want to hear him try to relieve the sting by crushing me.

"We have a History test worth 20 of our grade in 10 minutes." He holds up his watch and smiles tightly.

"I'll retake it." I walk away.

"Veronica…" I stop. He hesitates as if trying to find the words "I'm sorry…about Madison and them."

"Madison and them don't bother me Logan." I say it with a tone that clearly implies that he is the one who bothers me. He is the one who hurt, ridiculed and mocked me for months and has yet to offer any sort of apology. This is the closest he has come to doing so. Apologizing for 'Madison and them' in a tone that is supposed to imply more doesn't cut it. "You should find Duncan. "

"No, you should find Duncan. Us guys don't really do the feeling sharing. It's a little too Brokeback" He regarded my outfit for a moment then slips off the long-sleeve button-down top that was open over his t-shirt. He holds it out to me as if it's a peace offering. It's not enough but it's better than looking like I just stepped out of high school musical.

Logan's POV

She takes it hesitantly but her eyes say it all. It's not nearly enough to make up for all the things I've done. Every red-blooded male gets a little turned on by a woman in his clothes but turned-on seems like too trivial a word to describe the dull ache I feel when she slips the over-sized shirt over her pale 

shoulders. The shirt is big on me and it swallows her. She undoes the buttons, crosses the tails and ties them behind her back causing the shirt to take shape.

"We should find him." Her eyes are softer before and it is her way of saying thank you. I can't say sorry she can't say thank you, communication is over-rated anyways.

Finding Duncan isn't hard he has never been sneaky and we know him to well to not know his regular hiding spots. He probably wants to be found anyways. He's sitting on the bleachers filling out a purity test. I, for one, am glad we pulled him out of all the distress he is apparently in.

"Do people say things to you about her all the time." He says not taking his eyes off the computer. Veronica sits down beside him and I awkwardly slide down on the bleacher in front of her. I drink deeply from my hip-flask ignoring Veronica's exasperated expression. What is the correct way to respond to your dead girlfriend being called a slut?

"People will always talk Duncan." Her voice sounds tired as if this is something she's said over and over again and I wonder if she's said it to anyone in particular or if it is the phrase she throws at the mirror every morning. That doesn't help with the guilt. "Madison Sinclair was right Lily would have loved it if I scowered Neptune for men on her behalf. Lily was Lily and Madison does not have the ability to make her any less fabulous." She says with a teasing smile resting her chin on Duncan's shoulder. He stops staring blankly at the purity test site and his appreciative smile goes from her to me. I can't help but wonder if it is her contact or her words that got through to him. I think of her gentle but sure hands on my back and the patient way she affirmed that she did not pity me. It was probably a healthy mix of both. The bell rings loudly breaking the moment of tentative camaraderie.

Veronica POV

"We have a test" I say gesturing between Logan and myself. Duncan nods and says something about making sure Logan doesn't cheat which Logan responds to with faked offence. For a moment everything seems normal again and we are simply three laughing teenagers rushing in at the lunch bell to not miss a test. Then I remember that the reason we were on the field was because someone called Duncan's dead sister a slut and I am wearing a cheerleading uniform made more modest by Logan a guy who shows his soft-side to me because I've seen his father's scars. We are so far from normal it's insane.

The long day is finally finishes and Wallace, Duncan and I head to Wallace's house to watch boxing.

"Twenty seconds baby" I grab the chips from Duncan who is writing notes out of a textbook.

"You are this excited about the Super Featherweight Crown?" Duncan says disbelievingly before giving up on writing chemistry notes.

"I know and I'm usually so passive." Wallace is intently focused on the computer screen and up until now has ignored the banter.

"So did you guys take the purity test?" Kind of an awkward thing to bring up in front of the ex-boyfriend, good thing I didn't take it. Duncan and Wallace are both looking a little flushed. I give him my best you-have-got-the-be-kidding look.

"Yeah me, neither." Wallace says dropping his eyes

"Stupid right?" Duncan replies with a forced laugh and a whole lot of red crawling up his cheeks.

"What did you guys score?" It's all I can do not to laugh at their matching abashed expressions. Duncan is in the high 60s and Wallace scores a 70 both of which I kind of expect.

"You are 30 danger-loving, girl-touching rockstar!" Wallace just rolls his eyes.

"More like one point away from being cool." Duncan mocks throwing a chip at him as Wallace faux-pouts,

"Here" I say undoing my sweater to reveal a sports bra. It's nothing Duncan hasn't seen but he doesn't waste the opportunity to look and Wallace just laughs. "Now you're a big stud." Of course Wallace's mom Alicia picks that particular moment to come through the doors.

"Wallace can I talk to you for a minute?" Wallace cringes slightly then heads off after his mom as Duncan and I watch him leave.

"That had to be worth at least two points." Duncan says with a chuckle as he scrolls down the screen. "Oh my god. Listen to this. Not that innocent? 10 bucks will let you know if you are dating an angel from heaven or a hottie from hell. Buy the results of anyone's purity test for 10 bucks." Duncan's jaw drops as he processes what this means "This is crazy you can go on there and buy anyone's test!"

"I never thought I'd say this but I kind of can't wait for school tomorrow."I say in response to Duncan's horrified expression.

As I expected the entire school was in chaos. Duncan pulls me out of the way of two boys punching each other screaming about their girlfriend's purity tests.

"Wow." I say with a laugh as we stop at my locker.

"Hey look" Duncan points across the hall to Meg and Cole who are in the middle of a heated argument. Meg is furiously scrubbing at a bright red 45 that is painted on her locker as Cole reads her purity test to her. Cole finally walks away proclaiming that Meg has made a fool out of him.

I know how it feels. To watch the people you thought had your back turn against you without a second thought. I walk over to her holding out a tissue.

"I didn't even do anything." She says helplessly.

"I know." I said emotionlessly to the distressed cheerleader who does nothing more than sigh gratefully.

"You believe me?" There is cautious hope in her voice and she carefully phrases it as a question not a statement.

"Meg, you're the last good person at this school. I believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning" She smiles gratefully and my new project of the day should be easier than it will be: Clear Meg Mannings name.

Logan's POV

Her voice rings out as she settles on the seat next to me carrying on a conversation with Duncan. Veronica Mars has an amazing ability to compartmentalize. After seeing me basically filleted I expected either the information would be used against me, or she'd be so distraught she would have immediately phoned her father and she would never look at me the same. I never expected calm indifference. She has her moments of kindness. The second I start to feel she is going to tell someone about my father or that Lily was cheating on me, her cold as steel eyes will momentarily warm and she'll softly reassure me that everything will be fine. The moment I believe her, they cool again. Our friendship, if you can call it that, has this undercurrent of something dark and painful. It's in the way her eyes don't lock on to mine for longer than necessary or the way she looks around for Duncan before approaching me socially. She has no problem running after me for a case. I used to think it was Lily's death but that pain was with Duncan too they have fallen into a disturbingly easy friendship.

"I need a favor" Her small, warm hand on my arm jerks me out of my analysis. Not surprisingly she drops her hand like it's been burned the second we lock eyes.

"I'm going to get you a t-shirt with that embroidered on it."

"You are not going to like this favor and if it makes you uncomfortable or whatever you don't have to.." The nervous rambling and the soft way she trailed off at the end were reminiscent of the old Veronica.

"Never go into marketing Mars." I say secretly worried about this elusive 'favor' that even Duncan seems uncomfortable with.

"As it turns out Koontz is a big fan of your father's and Duncan and I have tried but he doesn't want to talk to us…" That would explain why she is looking at me like I'm about to swallow her whole.

"You want me to use my father's celebrity to get me in to see my girlfriend's alleged killer?"

Veronica POV

There isn't much Logan won't due to make sure Lily's real killer is behind bars, pimping out his dad's fame, something that his caused him considerable pain throughout his entire life, maybe asking too much. He is obviously uncomfortable with the idea and if I wasn't so desperate to hear Koontz's side of the story I would quickly give him an out.

"Ok." He says with a determined nod. Duncan lets out a relieved breath before throwing a guilty look at Logan. "What do I do?" I spend the rest of lunch with Duncan and Logan explaining exactly how Logan 

should act and what he needs to ask. He calls the jail and tells them that Aaron Echolls son would like to make an appointment. He says Aaron Echolls with in an overly-important voice I've never heard him use before and looks a little self-depreciating afterwards. Whipping out the Aaron Echolls card has always been hard for Logan, understandable under normal circumstance and painfully obvious when you know Logan.

_flashback_

_October always means field trips and though I personally enjoy them apperantly 12 yr old boys have better things to do then toddle around a museum. _

"_You are Aaron Echolls son aren't you?" A middle age lady gushes and Logan looks up at her obviously unimpressed and a little embarrassed at the scene the lady was causing. He nods, uncomfortable than tries to slip back in the crowd. "Well I'll be I just loved you father in Hair Trigger. Such a handsome man I'll bet you'll grow up to be just like him."Something unspeakably dark flashes across Logan's face and he has stopped looking for escape and seems to have retreated to somewhere in his mind way to dark for a 12 yr old._

"_Logan we're going to get in trouble if we get separated." I say anxiously grabbing his hand with just the right amount of urgency to get the lady to move. I basically have to pull him away from her and I hold tight to his hand as we round the corner._

"_Are you ok?" I ask gently, squeezing his hand to get his attention._

"_Do you think I'm like my father?" Something seems off about the question but I answer anyways._

"_Not really…I don't know your father though. Why?" Did Logan really want to be the next big movie star?_

"_Do you think that all kids end up like their parents?"_

_end flashback_

Being 12 and being extremely naïve I didn't realize that this question came from something much larger and uglier than I can imagine. At the time I had laughed and said of course not peppering him with examples of funny father-son duos on TV or that I knew that couldn't be more different. A few of the stories made him laugh and eventually the dark cloud he was carrying around vanished as he relished the idea that he could be his father's polar opposite. At that age I didn't realize what I had unwittingly done for him.

After school I seek out the computer prodigy Mac who assures me that if the IT heartthrob Renny Demoue can't help me clear Meg's name she may be able to do a little hacking. I have a feeling we're going to get along great.

I leave with Wallace ecstatic to have a simple night of hanging out with a friend free of trouble. This notion, however, fails when I see Alicia arguing with her skeezy tenant.

School the next day is frustrating to say the least. All that I found out was that Lizzie may or may not have posted Meg's test and that the IT guy was seriously good looking. Besides that Logan continued to walk around in a bitter haze snapping at Duncan when he asks him what's wrong and stomping off to be alone. For a brief moment I wonder if I should follow him. There is a time when I would have slid of the lunch table and followed without reservation but I'm not sure exactly how much our little half-truce covers.

"I'm worried about Logan and Koontz" Duncan says suddenly as we walk towards our lockers to change books. His expression has been thoughtful for the past few minutes. I'm surprised this is all he has come up with. Personally, I thought we accepted Logan visiting Koontz was a bad but necessary step in solving the case.

"I'll go with him." Wow did those words just come out of my mouth? Well I've made my bed. "You have soccer and he can't go alone." Duncan just nods tightly and we continue walking down the hall both our thoughts with a poor little rich boy. The sight of my locker changes Duncan's face from pensive to downright pissed.

"Well now Meg's the second biggest slut in school." I say with a soft chuckle as I point to the number 14. My calm act does little to calm Duncan.

"14! That's ridiculous. Who did this I'll…" Stopping Duncan before he threatens the student body seems like a good plan.

"Enough Duncan, it's fine." He stares between me and the number in disbelief as if trying to connect the two. Duncan is still uncomfortable with the idea of people accosting me and I guess that's a good thing. It gets a little tiresome though when the same guy stood idly by for over a year suddenly feels the need for tights and a cape. I know he's sorry and he knows forgive him but sometimes when his eyes flash with anger at the thought of someone insulting me I can't help but wonder how he stayed so calm for so long.

I make it through the day without too much slut-sneezing and insults. I think a large part of it has to do with Duncan all but barring his teeth at anyone who tries and Logan's less than subtle acts, one of which was breaking Dick Casablanca's nose. If only the guy could pick a goddamn side.

While Duncan and Logan continue fighting for my honor, a rather ironic task considering Logan was the one who decided to stomp all over it in the first place, Mac and I hack into the system trying to find anything to help expose Meg's tormentor. We inadvertently hit the jack-pot when we find that someone has logged on as my in the journalism room. There is no one there but an online computer reveals all the information we need to know. I quickly scan my email making sure the perp didn't further attempt to decimate me. This being Neptune, they did.

"Oh god." I say as I read the email I apparently sent to my ex-boyfriend.

_Dear Duncan, I just want you to know that I still love you very much and I think about you constantly. I need to tell you that when we were dating I had VD I hope you didn't catch anything from me._

I run in to the quad looking around for Duncan. He is sitting at the table with Logan pouring over some sort of extreme sports magazine.

"I'm not still in love with you." I blurt out taking Duncan by surprise.

"So you were the girl from the Seventh Veil last night. Don't worry darling I don't love you anymore either" Logan says covering is interest and confusion with glee.

"Shut up Logan" Duncan says. "I-I know…I mean, uh, why are you…" Good job Veronica he hasn't even checked his email yet.

"Someone stole my password and sent fake emails from me to you." Duncan begins to understand and the shadow of a playful smile begins to creep on his face. "And I don't have VD I've never had VD." Logan makes a whining noise and bites on his fist as if he it is physically paining him to hold back the witticisms. Duncan just nods in silent understanding trying hard to suppress a chuckle at my distressed face.

"I think the VD comment would have tipped me off pretty quick that it was a fake." He says with a smile offering me a piece of pizza to help cover the awkwardness.

Turns out it was Pam who decided to try to ruin my friendship with Duncan and Kimmy who tried to ruin Meg's reputation. When I aired a video exposing both of them as conniving bitches, neither were successful.

"Logan" I run up to catch him before he gets in his Xterra. "Tomorrow we're going to bug you so I'm going to have to go along with you to the prison." Logan nods blankly.

"Sure I'll pick you up for school tomorrow. We can go together." I give him a nod and a wave trying my best to ignore the apprehension in his smile. Tomorrow is going to suck.

I didn't get much sleep last night. Between nervous anticipation for Logan and Koontz's meeting, Meg's comment about having friends and Wallace coming over because his house was being fumigated my mind was in over-drive. Logan's Xterra swings in the parking lot and I quickly grab the bug before running down to meet him.

"Hey"

"Hi" There is something painfully tentative about the way Logan talks to me now. Long, awkward pauses and followed by grand gestures seem to be our mode of communication. He will break Dick's nose when he insults me but cannot bring himself to apologize. I wiped blood of his scarred back while assuring him he wasn't alone yet I can't offer him a normal, friendly smile for no reason at all.

"I like this song." Logan said snapping me out of my confusing thoughts. I nod in agreement and we endure the rest of the car ride in awkward silence.

School goes by painfully slowly and I notice Logan and Duncan both watching the clock as well. I'm not particularly concerned about what Koontz will say. In fact I'm almost positive his words and actions will prove that he has been payed to take the fall but I am worried about Logan's reactions. I promise Duncan I'll call him if we find out anything pertinent and rush out the doors to meet Logan.

"Ready?" He's more closed-off and grumpy than usual.

"Is anyone ever ready to speak to the guy who pled guilty to murdering his first love?" Ever since Logan found out about Weevil he has stopped calling Lily the love of his life and simply moved on to first love.

"I guess not." Shockingly the ride isn't too awkward. Logan isn't happy about having to play the part of adoring son but assures me he's done it enough to be able to pull it off. He is going under the guise of having found the photos of the shoes with a desperate want to clear the name of one of his father's biggest fans. We left the part of wanting to clear him off the record because we want to see Koontz's reaction first-hand.

"Ok here we go I'll be in the car." I thread the microphone under his shirt and pause for a moment when my hand meets the skin on his chest. His eyes are intense and a smile seems to be playing at his lips in spite of the mess he's about to walk into. Hurriedly I move my hand and clip the mic inside the lapel of his shirt. His dark eyes still focused on my increasingly red face.

"You should go." My own voice is shakier than I meant it to be and seems to snap him out of whatever happy place he was. He pales a bit and gives a curt nod jumping out of the Xterra. "Logan?" He turns back and I want to tell him he's going to be ok, how sorry I am I'm making him do this, that the Echolls name means nothing to me, or that whatever Koontz says he is crazy and not to listen. "Stay calm." He seems to understand the deeper meaning and gives a soft smile and nods again.

"Calm is my middle name Mars." He mock salutes than walks away speaking in to the bug so I can check if it's working. I sit back in the car unable to shake the feeling that the other shoe is about to drop.

Logan's POV

I flash the guard my ID and visitors badge before walking through the door. My eyes flutter casually over the other inmates and visitors and I can't help but wonder what landed them in a maximum security prison. My imagination runs wild as I walk down cement corridor and I let it. Anything is better on focusing on what I'm about to do. Veronica is on an earpiece in my ear and I can hear her nerves from across the parking lot. Abel Koontz looks thinner than he did on the arrest tape and his eyes hold a hollow quality I can't quite place.

"Well look at you, you look just like you're father did at your age." I've heard enough comments joining me and my father that it doesn't both me anymore. Personally I like to think his looks are the only half decent thing he gave me.

"Well you know what they say, like father like son." The words are acidic as they come of my tongue and I can hear Veronica inhale sharply in my ear.

"You must be so proud. Hair Trigger was one of my favorite movies." Wow a murderer with bad taste in movies. I just nod wordlessly there is only so much of this I can take.

"Bring up Lily" Veronica's commands. We were banking on the fact that Abel Koontz didn't know Lily was dating me. It was a pretty big gamble but based on his reaction so far I think we are in luck. How does one bring up a murdered girlfriend to the guy who killed her while trying to be inconspicuous?

"So...Lily Kane." I swear I heard a chuckle from Veronica on the other end. Abel Koontz just raises his eyebrows with a leering grin. "I, uh, found these pictures on the internet. Who knows they might be enough to get you a re-trail. Save you from the community soap." I over annunciate the 'p' and put the pictures up to the glass.

"A re-trail now why would I want a re-trail when I can have all this?" This guy is totally creepy, and judging from his reaction totally innocent. Any pre-tense of calm flies out the window when it comes together. It is no longer there is a great possibility Abel Koontz didn't kill Lily it is now Abel Koontz definitely didn't kill Lily.

"You never saw Lily Kane in your god-damn life why would you confess to killing her." Veronica is saying something sharply in my ear but I can't hear her anyways.

"What will it take for Keith Mars to let sleeping dogs lie." I think I've asked the same question before. "I know who you are Logan Echolls, Lily Kane's precious boyfriend." Oh dear. Veronica swears under her breath and the gig is officially up. "Do you want to hear exactly how I bashed sweet little Lily's brains in?" Even though he didn't kill her I can feel my lunch churn in my stomach. "Where were you that day Logan? What was the princess doing all alone in her castle?" That officially hits the nerve.

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW or she'll end up with donut (just kidding i would never do that to you guys!)

A/N LoVe will some soon I'm trying to let it progress naturally I didn't think it was realistic how they hated each other, had a truce, then had a relationship in the show so I'm laying ground work...be patient you will be rewarded!


	9. Fight or Flight

Season 1 Episode 9: Fight or Flight

**Episode Guide:** A poker game leads to a crime that will have everyone's emotions on edge and a holiday tradition may spark something big.

A/N: Not mine but I asked Santa for Logan last Christmas

A/N2: I took the liberty of skipping over episode 9 the lack of LoVe was killing me

Veronica POV

Without an acknowledgement Duncan pushes past me pushing a Weevil up against the lockers. Considering this is non-violent, semi-passive, diplomatic Duncan, may interest is officially piqued.

"I want my laptop back." The gang of PCHers beside Weevil pull Duncan off and pin him against the opposing lockers. The boy really needs to learn some street smarts.

"How does it feel to want?" Weevil says with the sort of malice he usually directs at Logan.

"I didn't take your money." This is getting interesting.

"Someone did" was Weevil's only reply as he motions to his boys to let him go. Duncan leans his head against the locker, caught between frustrated and pissed off.

"Someone took your laptop?" I try to express sympathy but it ends up as curious. He describes in angry, halting sentences the criminal poker game at Logan's house. After Weevil won the 5000 pot and found the money gone he committed to collecting a grand from each of the richies.

"If you want I can figure out who stole the money" This doesn't do much to stop Duncan's rage but he agrees. "Plus I have an in with Weevil I may be able to convince him to relinquish your laptop." The grateful smile and a mention of how I was a feature in the journal kept on the computer and it isn't long before I have my newest case and more one-on-one time with Logan Echolls. The things I do for my almost brother/ex-boyfriend.

It's not too hard to find Weevil playing craps with a few of his PCH buddies. None of them but Thumper seem perturbed by my presence so I just bring up the money then.

"What can I do for you Veronica?" Weevil asks after throwing the dice.

"You can not get caught stealing 09ers stuff and give Duncan his laptop back." Weevil scoffs disbelievingly and shakes his head. "Look we both know it wasn't Duncan. Give it back and I'll handle this poker thing." This is me attempting to hide the fact that I am scared shitless a diary with the details of mine and Duncan's tumultuous relationship is going to be distributed to all of Neptune.

"In what alternate universe does it look like I need your help?" I know better than to try to deal with Weevil when he is in independent gang leader mode so I throw my hands up in a whatever gesture and turn to leave the room.

"On the other hand if I get my 5 grand your boys may get their stuff back." This stops my retreat and a moment of understanding passes between us.

"Why were you even there?" Probably the most important question of the day. As I expected Weevil went for the money, convinced he could beat the boys who have maids fold their underwear. Convincing Logan to let Weevil come didn't take as much work as it should have and I like to think that is a reflection on their semi-truce but knowing Logan, he wouldn't hold a truce with a guy who slept with Lilly.

"So I talked to Weevil." I say sitting on the bench between Wallace and Duncan.

"So is this like a case?" Uh yeah like the case of the guy who is too lazy to write his stupid journal. In the spirit of playing nice I just stick my tongue out at him and ask for details. I can barley believe my ears when Duncan drops the accusation he's been playing at the whole time.

"The money didn't leave the room so Logan would…" He trails off and I wonder if he is more pissed thinking that his best friend stole his money or embarrassed that he's suggesting it.

"You think Logan stole the money?" Duncan and Logan have been friends since kindergarten. Duncan's diplomacy and stability has always kept a passionate and erratic Logan from crossing the line. For his part Logan was fiercely loyal to Duncan and stood by him with unconditional friendship. For this reason alone I have basically excluded the idea that either one of them would steal from one each other. When Duncan grabs a piece of pizza and looks away instead of answering my question I realize that the seemingly untouchable friendship between the two boys may be more fragile than it appears.

Ironically, Dad is working on a case for Lynn Echolls. Logan's beautiful and kind mother. Lilly and I used to joke that Logan must take after his father because there is not an ounce of Lynn's tenderness or naivity in Logan. Thinking back on it I realize how much those comments must have stung. Apparently Aaron has a stalker who appears to be more dangerous than most. Personally I wonder what the problem is.

"Honey I have some papers for Lynn to sign would you mind dropping by the Echolls estate for me?" Things with Logan have been strained since the disastrous meeting with Koontz but I can't miss an opportunity to view the crime scene.

I punch the code into the gate and try not to think about the last time I saw Logan in his house beaten and trying to deflect hard questions with callous insults. I walk to the poolhouse half-expecting to find Logan strewn out playing video games exactly like how he was.

Logan's POV

"I love the smell of testosterone in the morning." I look at the little blonde figure in my doorway smiling with the slightest bit of apprehension. Koontz reminded me of all the reasons I hated Veronica and sometimes when I close my eyes I still hear him. _Why was the princess alone in her castle? _

"This is why I suggested attack dogs but no, my mother wanted an alpaca." My comment holds little malice and does nothing but cause her to look around the room a small, satisfied smile playing on her lips.

"Tell me about the game." She says clearing a bunch of board games on my couch and sitting down beside me. Great now I'm back to being enemy #1.

"I know this may come as a huge shock to you but I don't need to steal 5 grad." I say smirking like the asshole I know she wants me to be.

"Well considering a grand of it was your best friend's I'm hoping not." She is actually suggesting I'd steal from Duncan Kane. So much for we used to be friends this girl doesn't know me at all. "So tell me something about that night?" Her eyes lack the accusatory stare she usually has when she directs these comments to me but there is an unnerving air of perceptiveness that she carries around and it's beginning to get unsettling. "And, for the record, I'm not accusing you of anything." Her face softens into the undeniably beautiful cross between trust and strength and again she's the girl who keeps secrets and pulls punches.

"You may want to talk to Conner." Something flickers on her face and I'd like to think it's distaste but her little giggle proves me wrong.

"Larkin? Like Conner Larkin?" From all her gushing you would think she was a 12 yr old fangirl. God I hate that guy. I make the call to get her on set as she casually walks around the room.

"Logan what happened to the egg?" I whip around in confusion as she points to an empty holder. A holder that used to have my mother's 12,000 fabrage egg.

Veronica's POV

"Logan?" If Logan turning the room upside down wasn't enough proof he didn't steal the money the look of sheer horror on his face when I pointed out the missing egg was confirmation.

"You need to crack the case preferably before I'm murdered." It would be funny if it weren't disturbingly close to the real happenings here.

Connor Larkin turns out to be a dead end and he is too busy trying to express a social conscience than actually tell me anything useful. His Suntea dispels Logan's drug addict theory and explains the bathroom breaks so that leaves Sean and Weevil. A quick visit to Sean's and a discussion with Weevil cracks the case.

Duncan and Logan are sitting across from each other wearing matching petulant expressions and not too subtly scowling at each other. Sean walks over to us when he sees me approach and I drag Weevil behind me.

"So good news, bad news." This snaps Duncan and Logan out of their who-hates-who-more contest and they both look up expectantly. "Good news: I know who stole the money. Bad news: I know who stole 

the money." Logan starts to laugh despite Duncan's fierce glare and I can't help but smile slightly. "So in the holiday spirit Logan will host another game."

"Will I?" He is trying to sound skeptical but his crooked smile give away the fact that is intrigued.

"I'm thinking tonight. It's Logan's mom's Christmas party tonight so no BYOB." I chime in before Logan can object. Lynn's famous Christmas parties were a fixed part of all of our holiday season for as long as Logan and I have been friends. Lily, Duncan, Logan and I spent the night running around the beautifully dressed guests stuffing our faces with crème puffs and smoked salmon before Lynn forced us to the pool house so the guests could have adult time. Initially it meant Duncan, Lily and I going home leaving Logan alone to bother Trina. In the later years this meant present exchanging, drinking and co-ed sleepovers while mocking the over-dressed guests. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss Lynn's Christmas parties or that forcing myself on their poker game wasn't a well-veiled poor excuse to grasp at the tradition.

As I expected Logan agrees and from his slightly upturned lips I don't think he thinks it's the worst idea I've had.

Logan's POV

I almost invited Veronica to the Christmas party. It was on the tip of my tongue before I walked into the prison and died when Abel Koontz reminded me of not being able to protect Lily. To her credit she didn't accuse me of stealing the money and I swear I heard her giving Duncan an innocent-until-proven-guilty at her locker this morning. Needless to say I find the development more entertaining than anything else. She shows up with Duncan and they look like the perfect Christmas couple. Her short blond hair is pulled in to a delicate half- ponytail and her cranberry red cocktail dress sets of her skin perfectly. Duncan is, of course, the picture of the perfect gentleman in his fitted suit with his small, but sure smiles he sends her way. A wave of nausea rolls over me as she giggles at something he says before setting her bag down. I give them a week.

"Ho, Ho, Hoe." I said smirking at the too beautiful, blonde girl before me. She rolls her eyes and throws a peanut at me before walking over to Weevil.

"Can I get you a sody pop or something." She smiles a little and I wonder how every guy seems to endear themselves to Veronica except for me.

"No thanks I prefer something with a little more kick." She grabs the JD from Duncan and starts chugging it. The rest of the guys let out impressed wolf whistles but all I can think of is a drunk Duncan and Veronica under the mistletoe and it's all I can do to not grab the bottle.

"Iced Tea." She says sweetly to Duncan who just sighs resigned. "Duncan can't remember the alphabet when he's drunk let alone calculate 15 of a pizza bill." There she goes again with remembering the little insignificant details. I throw Duncan a skeptical look. Was it him stealing the money while he was accusing my all along? Of all people in my world I rely on Duncan to make good decisions. It's unfair and it's stupid but while everyone else disappointed me Duncan proved that there are genuinely people in the world.

"No he didn't play drunk to steal your money. He played drunk to win your money. To no avail it seems." Relief washes over me as Veronica moves on to Connor. "And Connor is not a drug dealer. I know the constant bathroom breaks. He was going because of the SunTea." I, along with the rest of the table, raise an eyebrow in confusion. "It's the diuretic wrestlers down before a match or what actors use before they are half-naked on the cover of Vanity Fair." Connor blushes a bit but doesn't seem too perturbed. "And now bachelor number 3." She takes a moment to fondly ruffle my hair like she used to do and rests her hands on my shoulders. "Looks like an evildoer, smells like an evil doer but surprising not so much." At least I think that's what she said but really I am focused on the warmth radiating from her small hands through my shirt. "Weevil cleared him." She goes on to explain the ramsacked room and it finally clicks that she knew from the moment she entered the pool house.

"So you want to hear how Sean did it?" The accusation pulls me out of trying to figure out the ways of Veronica Mars. In a wonderful moment of naivety I defend Sean wondering exactly why the richest guy in school would need to steal. Veronica, of course, answers this and as it turns out Sean was the butler's son. Weevil escorts him off the premises and when he returns the poker game returns.

"Mind if I deal first?" Shockingly Veronica plays poker better than, well all of us. It shouldn't be surprising. Her B.S. detector is so finely tuned that she can call anyone's bluff with alarming ease while coolly holding her own poker face. This is how it goes for the next 45 minutes as she accumulates our chips smugly.

"I say we take a break let the cosmos realign because obviously something is up." I say after Veronica easily wins another hand. We head downstairs Duncan and Veronica speaking quietly as we enter main house.

Veronica's POV

"I'm going to talk to your Dad about the pictures. We need to know exactly why they were sent." I whisper to Duncan and we pass Lynn's huge silver Christmas tree.

"Veronica think about it he's not going to tell you." Sometimes the boy is so dense.

"We'll be able to tell by his reaction if he ordered them or if your mother did. You bugged both of them right?" Duncan nods obviously feeling a little guilty about bugging his parents. That the exact amount of compassion that will make him an excellent politician and a crappy detective.

The confrontation with Jake ends with me being sure of one thing. There is no way Jake Kane ordered those pictures. We scream at each other briefly in the study before storming off. Jake grabs Celeste roughly and ushers her out of the party. Duncan gives me a look then follows promising to let me know the outcome of the bug.

Out of the corner of my eye I notice a small crowd gathering around Aaron, Lynn and a waitress. The waitress is going on about an affair and suddenly Lynn screams and Aaron falls backwards clutching his side. An ice pick drops to the floor.

"Call 911." Lynn yells. Holy shit. For the briefest moment I think that karma is doing a wonderful job of dealing with Aaron after the whole Logan situation. Logan. I look around urgently to find him staring pale faced at his bleeding father while stuttering out instructions to 911 on his cell phone. Duncan left otherwise he'd be over their instantly doing some sort of manly back clap in form of support. I guess that leaves me again. This is going to be a fun night.

"Logan?" I grab his forearms urgently trying to get his attention but he doesn't respond. He's too transfixed by his sobbing mother and bleeding father. "Logan look at me." I spin him forcefully so he is no longer staring at the scene with horror. The paramedics are filing in and I force myself to look away and focus on Logan. "The paramedics are here. He's going to be fine." Ok so I don't know that but what else am I supposed to say. I nods slowly and I can see his face hardening.

"Great." He mumbles chuckling slightly as he turns around to view the pool of blood and them carrying his father away. Lynn didn't even look around for her son before jumping into the ambulance. To be fair she was kind of occupied. The guests are beginning to disperse and I swear I heard one on the phone to the tabloids. Great.

"I'll drive you to the hospital." He's about to protest and I quickly stop him. "A. you're in no state to drive and B. the paparazzi knows your car. " He nods in agreement and allows me to hurriedly push past the remaining guests who are soaking up the drama. Realizing that I don't know what hospital we're heading to I speed up to catch the ambulance causing Logan to smirk a little impressed.

"Poker, Indy racing. What's next Veronica Mars?" Logan quips and I'm glad a part of him has returned.

"I'm thinking lawn bowling. Dad says I need to tone down my extra-curriculars." I take a sharp right-turn a little too fast trying to keep the ambulance lights in my sight. A few miles later we pull up in front of the Neptune Memorial ER. Logan visibly hesitates and I don't blame him. This is the same hospital that would have traded Aaron's signature for their silence about his abuse and right now they're trying to save his abusive, asshole father whom he loves because he is his dad after-all. He must be a tad conflicted.

"You wanna come in? Should be a great show." The forced smile he has when he asks is a dead giveaway he really doesn't want to do this alone. I don't respond but I swing over to the visitor parking and I swear I hear him expel a grateful sigh. I quickly phone my Dad who is a little confused about why I am holding vigil at Aaron's bedside with the person I claimed to be Satan's heir but he doesn't press for details. A kind nurse sneaks us through the worker's entrance and we carefully walk by the paparazzi to the waiting room. Lynn rushes over and hugs her son and the flashing camera's almost blind me and the few creeps that got past security are now forcefully escorted out. Logan just snarls at them before sitting down even grumpier than before.

A doctor comes out to tell them about some complications and the troubled expression on Logan's face is proof that kids love their Dads even if they are abusive jackasses. The complications aren't serious but will involve an intensive 3 or 4 hour surgery. The moment the doctor says complications Lynn grabs my hand in a vice grip and has yet to let go. Logan seems slightly amused by this development and raises an eyebrow to which I reply with a small shrug. Whatever keeps your chin up right? The hours tick by and eventually Lynn releases my hand in favor of talking to a nurse about an update and Logan's increasingly anxious pacing would be a lot more endearing if it wasn't so annoying. Logan is not patient, or calm, or anything else required to make him suited for long waits in the ER. Multiply that by the fact that it is his father being operated on and that he hates hospitals and he is basically a bundle of anxious nerves.

"Let's go for a walk." I'm surprised to find that I've grabbed his hand. Even more surprised that he doesn't pull away or snark but returns the gesture with a hand squeeze. We leave the way we came again fooling the paparazzi who are mostly satisfied with pictures of grieving Lynn anyways. The further we get from the ER the more Logan begins to relax.

"I think that topped all my mother's Christmas surprises." Logan says with a humorless laugh as we start down a path lit by the warm glow of Christmas lights.

"I don't know, her bringing the reindeer to ride that one year was pretty cool." We both smile at the memory and I take the moment to look at his face. The pale lights cast an almost eerie glow on his face magnifying his tired eyes and tight mouth. His hand occasionally brushes through his hair a testament to his nerves. "I know this is a painfully lame and redundant question but are you ok?" Logan chuckles dryly and I can't help but notice his grip on my hand tenses slightly.

"I don't know. I guess my mother knows about all my father's side projects now." He shakes his head slightly and we sit down on a nearby bench.

"Do you think she'll leave him?" Logan looks at me disbelievingly.

"You're kidding right? The only way she'd leave my Dad is if someone gave her a lobotomy." He gives another dry chuckle than looks down resting his head on his hands. As someone who has borne witness to Logan angry, sad and worried, I know first-hand that there is nobody who experiences – or at least expresses – emotions with the kind of ferocity he does. When he does decide to open up it is dangerously powerful and heartfelt, a by-product of both holding back too many times and relief. He never fully lets the walls down though and his defensiveness sends mixed signals to anyone who dares say the wrong thing. Dealing with an emotional Logan is like disengaging a bomb. Fairly straight-forward to those who know what to do but caution is paramount because one wrong move will result in an explosion. I place a heavy hand on his hunched back as he slowly absorbs all the night's events. "Do you honestly think he is going to be ok?" For all his asshole moves Logan is really not as acerbic and hard as he wish he was.

"Well from what I've seen on Grey's Anatomy they can do some pretty intense stuff these days. I think he'll be fine Logan, really." He nods and sits back up looking at me closely for a moment. "What?"

"Grey's Anatomy? Seriously Mars I thought you were all badass now. I was imagining monster truck shows and Law and Order re-runs."

"Well I guess I can't quite kick the soft side."

Logan's POV

I can't help but return her shy smile as I realize the incredible honestly in that statement. We sit in silence for a few moments as I think on the past year and all the time she pulled her punches. The way managed to inject the slightest bit of kindness in even her meanest gestures, her now easy friendship with Duncan the small, satisfied smile she had when she saw the pool house and realized I was innocent, Veronica Mars never became the callous, uncaring bitch I was so sure she was. Sure she is harder, stronger and feistier but defiantly not cruel or merciless. Logan Echolls was wrong.

"I'm sorry." The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them and she's looking at me with an amused half-smile.

"Friggin took you long enough Logan." Then it hits me. That is what the dark, undercurrent was in our 'friendship' we had over the past weeks. It wasn't Lily's death it wasn't even my abuse, she was waiting for me to not be an asshole for 20 minutes and apologize. Duncan would have immediately. He hates conflict more than he hates being wrong and the thought of being so abrasive to a girl who had loved him so tenderly would have killed him.

"Yeah I was thinking of waiting for the Hallmark card. They don't have one yet that says 'Sorry I bashed in your headlights, insulted your mother and painted slut on your locker.'" This is one of the few times in my life I have actually been nervous about a reaction to one of my statements. I look at her nervously and I can practically hear her fighting with herself over what to do.

"I've missed you." She says quietly the ghost of a smile on her face. Before I can reply she's all but jumped in to my arms. It's as if at that moment everything I have spent so long trying to forget about Veronica has come back full-force. That smile she used to have just for me. It sounds cheesy but she had a smile for all of us that she only whipped out on special occasions and at that moment I remember the way her eyes would soften and her right side of her mouth would quirk up before breaking into a full-fledged grin. I remember her soft vanilla scent and the way she giggles at the sad parts in movies and I wonder who the hell I've been trying to kid for a whole year.

"You have no idea." I mumble feeling the relief wash over me as stroke her back through her velvet dress. The thing I missed about Veronica is that you never had to hide. A little because it was pointless and she'd see through the façade anyways but mostly because there was an element of indisputable empathy she always carried with her. Even though everyone else was afraid to Veronica would always seek me out after Lily stomped all over me. She didn't always say the perfect thing or even agree with what I said but she was always there, even after Yolanda.

_flashback_

_1,500 people went to Neptune High. I'd say 1,000 of them saw my year long relationship with Lily implode on the quad. So that's how I end up here in the goddamn nurses office trying to wrap my own bloody knuckles and hold back the tears that threatened to fall._

"_Logan" A yes my favorite rat. Her voices sound more careful and tentative and I guess that's because she just caused my public humiliation._

"_I have some lemon juice in my locker if you want to rub it in the wounds." I say not looking up. I try again to wrap the bandage around the pad of gauze on my knuckles. Again it falls. Where was the stupid nurse. Frustrated I throw the bandage across the room. I close my eyes tightly willing Veronica to leave and the rest of the world to fade away._

_Her hands are on mine and before I can shake her off she is carefully wrapping up my hand. Unfortunately for her this little show of tenderness doesn't make her any less of an evil bitch._

"_I'm not here to apologize." She says softly but firmly. "I would have done the same thing for you. I understand you're upset with me but I-I just wanted to see how you were. Lily shouldn't have handled it like that. She was wrong." She fastens the bandage with a clip and meets my eyes with uncharacteristic conviction. They're misting slightly none the less._

"_How did you think she was going to handle it Veronica?" I sputter angrily jumping off the table "A Dear John letter. This is Lily we're talking about here. Christ I thought you guys were all Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants."I go to storm out of the room when I hear her voice ring out again._

"_So are you telling me if you saw me kiss another guy you wouldn't tell Duncan?" I pause at that. Of course I would tell Duncan. _

_end flashback_

I called her that night and we were friends the next day. When Lily still refused to take me back and screamed at Veronica for befriending me again she simply reminded Lily that I was her friend too and she refused to cut me out of her life because of a kiss. This was one battle Lily didn't push and I wonder if she knew even then how deep Veronica's convictions ran. Lily died a week later and all the blame I had previously let go of came flying back to me when I realized I was going to pick her up from the car wash for dinner and a movie before Yolanda and the break-up. If Veronica hadn't told she would have been with me eating pasta and mocking actors. Thinking back it was a little ridiculous. Lily was getting bored enough that she probably would have dumped me after the party anyways. Veronica didn't know what was going to happen anymore than I did. She was trying to be a good friend, something that was very Veronica.

"I can't believe we are sitting on a bench, reaffirming our friendship while you're mother hosts a press conference about your father's stabbing" Veronica says with a little laugh. "Maybe we should get back." I want to stay on that bench forever and soak in the quiet peacefulness. I know she's right.

"That was the calm now it's the storm" I way with a smile and then she does it. A little lip quirk before breaking into a bigger smile her eyes shining with the kind of compassion I haven't seen in ages. This is how it's supposed to be. We walk back towards the hospital avoiding the paparazzi at the main entrance. Suddenly I love the paparazzi.

Veronica's POV

All the sudden Logan's face breaks out into a devilish smile and he gently tugs me towards him. Smirking he points to the bundle of mistletoe above our heads. His gaze suddenly turns from playful to deathly serious and I feel my mouth start to go dry. Lily once said that Logan's gaze was so intense that she could never look at him right after they kissed for fear of combusting. Personally, I can't look away. His hand comes up and brushes my cheek softly and I can't help but note that for someone for caustic he is unbelievably gentle. Because of fate and karma and everything else the moment he half-leans in is the moment my cell phone rings. It's like we're suddenly back to reality and he drops my hands like they've burned him.

"Hey Duncan" The irony is not lost on me.

"Hey Veronica I called your house I was going to pick you up so we could go see Logan. Your dad said you are already there is he ok? Why didn't you call? How's Lynn? His Dad? How have you two not managed to kill each other?"

"Duncan stop. Logan's right here annoy him with your questions." I pass the phone to Duncan and we both desperately try to ignore the feeling we get when our hands brush.

"Hey" Logan smiles at me sheepishly. "Fine. ..She's fine too…No Duncan I don't know the woman's name…Yes I'm sure she's lovely…Dude my dad gets stabbed my first thought isn't guy time with Duncan sorry…You don't have to come down…Tell Celeste thank you and I'll tell my mother…Duncan you bring casserole when someone dies not when their stabbed and the fact your mom can't cook anyways kind of kills the gesture…We-uh-we made up…No she didn't tazor me jesus Duncan…Ok..bye..and uh thanks you know for calling." He hangs up the phone with a pensive look then gives me a forced smile. "We should get to the ER." Wordlessly I nod thinking about what just happened. I almost kissed Logan Echolls, Neptune's resistant asshole, Lily's boyfriend, the guy who bashed my headlights in with a tire iron. It must have been the mistletoe or excitement of re-affirming a friendship that caused that momentary blip in judgment. Logan looks pale and exhausted beside me and I can't help but think that almost kissing him the night his father was stabbed is probably not a good idea. It was misunderstanding, Logan and I are friends nothing more. _Who are you trying to kid Mars?_

The surgery was a success and Logan and Lynn share a look of something I can't quite name but is quite possibly resignation.

"Can't keep a good man down." Logan says with a wry smile nodding at his mother who seems to desperately want to roll her eyes. "Let's go visit Daddy Dearest shall we." This has all the makings of a bad, bad idea.

"I'll wait out here." Veronica Mars' fight or flight has kicked him. Logan looks as though he wants to say something or drag me in and if I wasn't so confused I'd probably let him. Instead I nod encouragingly and sit down.

It takes exactly 4 minutes and 46 seconds for me to hear Logan's voice raise through the roof, 4 minutes and 55 seconds for me to threaten the nurse with bodily harm if she breathes a word about the multiple affairs or the incident with Jennifer Garner he is yelling so loudly about, and 5 minutes and 35 seconds for him to storm out the door in a red haze. It's like Lily is cheating on him all over again. Since there are no lockers for him to punch he has settled on a vending machine and is still going at it when I turn the corner.

"I don't think you understand Logan you have to put the money in before you get a drink." A mix of it being 3am and the fact that he just took out a lot of pent up anger causes him to give me a look that is half-way between apologetic and amused. Playing the oblivious card I slip two dollars in to the machine and pass him the water that comes out. He's still regaining his breath when he accepts the water gratefully and takes a huge chug.

"So I guess you heard huh?"

"Jennifer Garner? Really? I mean as much as I don't like your Dad I'm a little impressed." He chuckles grateful I'm not making him launch into a huge discussion about feelings. "Are you ok?" He feigns nonchalance beautifully giving an affirmative head nod and a smile. I don't push it, between the almost kiss and the new friendship we're learning the new boundaries. "Ok well I should head home my Dad is…" I am abruptly stopped by a pair of lips crashing down on me. I freeze momentarily but only because of surprise. He is more sure than Duncan but not quite as intense as Troy and really the other boys I've kissed are falling quickly out of my mind because all I can focus on is the fact that nothing ever felt so right and wrong at the same time. Wrong. This is so wrong. I pull away quickly and our noses are nearly touching but instead of seeing his satisfied smirk I see a scar on his upper lip. A scar caused by Lily who decided she wanted Logan to teach her how to surf. She fell of the board causing it to fly up and cut Logan straight through the lip. She waited with Logan and the hospital appropriately apologetic but later told me she thought it was kind of hot because she marked him permanently and now Logan would always be hers.

"I've gotta go."

**REVEW please it is my crack!! **

**ps...random question does anyone no of a L/V fic where Veronica walks in on a post-coital Lilly and Aaron right after Logan does and Lilly lives but Logan knows (obviously)?? i can't seem to find it anywhere its driving me mental**


	10. Dream of another halfnaked woman

Prelude: Logan on "The Kiss"

Logan's POV

When Logan was 14 years old he came to a realization. He cared about very few people and, in turn, very few people cared about him. He wasn't particularly repulsed or hurt by this realizaton but it made him come to a conclusion which shaped his life: The few people in his life who cared about him mattered more than anything and there is nothing he wouldn't do to ensure that they were a continued presence in his world. In essence he couldn't afford, nor did he want, to lose any of these people from his life.

At the age of 16 one of these people was brutally murdered and he decided that if he couldn't have Lily anymore at least he'd have Duncan and Veronica. It took Logan one look at Duncan to realize that things were never going to be the same but Logan accepted that and stood by Duncan even though his own grief made him a rather fragile pillar. It took Logan a week to realize that he had lost Duncan as well because this emotionless shell walking around like a zombie was not his best friend. Logan , however, decided that if he couldn't have Duncan a zombie that looked like him would have to do so hours were spent trying to coax a reaction from his best friend.

Logan's other best friend was his own pillar. Logan wasn't quite sure when he decided Veronica Mars was the eternal band-aid to his many wounds. It was quite possibly the night Lily died Veronica crawled through his window, lay in bed with him while he refused to get up and, somehow in her silence, convinced him a world without Lily was still worth living. A day later her father went after Jake Kane. It took all of Logan's rationality, and he didn't have much at that point, to convince himself that Veronica wasn't to blame and that Keith was following procedure. A week later the crime scene video came up and in a moment of anger he blamed Veronica and left her crying in a computer lab, staring at an image of her best friend's body wondering how life got this bad.

Losing Duncan and Veronica sent Logan into a tailspin. He had always been mordant and defensive with those he didn't allow in his small, small inner circle but he turned callous and cruel. He didn't flinch before breaking Veronica's headlights or before exposing the secrets she so tentatively had told him in their most tender moments of friendship. He dated Caitlin, which in itself was self-destructive, pissed his father of more than usual and did his work even less than usual.

Then one day he got Duncan back. One day he was a zombie and the next he was singing musicals on the bleachers and although he never wants to hear Duncan sing again, at that moment he heard nothing 

better. He showed up at Keith Mars' office because Duncan told him too and at that point there wasn't a whole lot Logan wasn't going to do to make sure Duncan remained a real boy. He probably knew he had Veronica back the moment she handed him painkillers and stroked his hair as he fell asleep after his father had beat him. If he had any doubts she cleared them when she tearfully hugged him breathing out that she missed him in barely a whisper. Logan had two of the most important people back in his life and he loved it.

It took him 3 minutes to screw it up. He could blame the almost kiss on the mistletoe or the fact that he is a healthy teenage boy or her undeniable beauty but really it wasn't any of that. Logan wanted to kiss Veronica. It helped that she was beautiful and that there was mistletoe but Logan figured that his desire had little to do with her beauty or the stupid Christmas tradition. So he brushed her cheek and she melted like butter in the palm of his hand and their lips were a few merciless inches apart because, believe it or not, Veronica Mars wanted to kiss Logan Echolls too.

This is when Duncan decides to call and of course the guilt sets in. Here he was about to kiss Duncan's ex-girlfriend, whom he once swore on videogames (something eternally important to 15 year old boys), that she was the one, the love his life, the future Mrs. Kane. Meanwhile Duncan is on the phone calling Veronica at 2am, his pants half-on after realizing Logan's father has been stabbed and Logan needed him and so let's go to the hospital. People don't do that for Logan. He doesn't mean to sound like a crybaby but people don't leap out of bed at 2am just to see if he's ok. So when Duncan asked him, against all guy codes, if he was really ok Logan knew what he had to do. He had to not kiss Veronica Mars. So he didn't. She shyly waited by the mistletoe looking a touch guilty and confused herself and since the way she bit her lip really turned him on he knew he had to take her back to the ER before he ruined his friendship with both Duncan and Veronica with one swift kiss.

Part of Logan knew she understood. So she put up her own boundaries and refused to be privy to the Aaron Echolls show. Even though Logan wanted to beg her to not let him confront his father alone he knew her borders were right and fair. That and Logan Echolls does not beg.

His father denies having ever slept with or heard of the waitress. The only thing more ridiculous is that his mother believes it. Logan's rant will earn him more beatings than he's ever had because Logan spills out all his affairs. All the ones he has seen first-hand and knows better than to talk about but he's angry. He's angry because his mother is placating Aaron again, because Aaron is going to get away with it but mostly because he's angry because he didn't kiss Veronica Mars. He knows he'll be punished. He sees it in his father's glare, his eyes holding that foreboding coldness that no amount of morphine can quell. He storms out of the room before he can hear his mother believe that Aaron has never heard of Jennifer Garner.

He punches a vending machine. It's immature, over-dramatic and has the sense of a tantrum but he does it anyways because that kind of petulance suits him perfectly. All the sudden Veronica is standing beside him_. I don't think you understand Logan you have to put the money in before you get a drink. _Her tone is light but he can hear what she's not saying. She's saying that she's there and that she's not afraid to approach him even though he is beating the shit out of an inanimate object because she knows he'll 

never hit her. That even when the nurses are looking at him like he's about to explode and the other patients give him a wide berth she'll calmly stand-by him even if he does look like he's about to have a emotional breakdown in the middle of the hallway. _"Jennifer Garner? Really? I mean as much as I don't like your Dad I'm a little impressed." _She plays the whole thing off as a joke because really what else do you do when the guy who hated you becomes your friend again, almost kisses you and then accuses his father of numerous counts of adultery before punching a vending machine? Her lips quirk into a smile and something about it immediately calms me down. _Are you ok? _We spend about 90 of our time speaking in subtext. Every comment is laced with witticisms and we never quite say exactly what we mean because when we do it opens a Pandora's box that really should be kept shut. She just entered that 10. She's not smirking, crossing her arms or holding back any of the painfully genuine concern that registers on her usually hard features.

Of course he's not ok. He tried to start a fight with a vending machine and almost wished it hit him back. His girfriend's dead, his father's stabbed, he mother's an idiot and he almost kissed my best friends ex-girlfriend. Logan is so far from ok he is bordering on disaster. She asked an honest question, by all rights he should give an honest answer but he doesn't. She doesn't push it and he knew she wouldn't. Veronica may be a pusher but she hates talking about feelings and crap almost as much as Logan does and the sane part of her knows that she can't fix what's broken. Except she probably can. She's babbling about having to go and he thinks that if he could really have this. Have her. That maybe everything would be fine and that even if Duncan hated him that he wouldn't care because he'd have her. In that brief moment of irrationality Logan is kissing her. He's kissing her and he's so sure she's going to pull away but she doesn't. It takes her a moment to respond and even when she does, he can all but hear her weighing the pro's and con's of continuing the kiss. Logan wants to tell her to stop thinking because then she'd realize exactly how bad of an idea this really is but that would cause me to break contact and he really doesn't want to do that. For a moment she stops thinking and she kisses me like she means it and he can't help but think that Lily has – had- nothing on her. Then she thinks again. She remembers that kissing Logan Echolls is, indeed a very, very bad idea. _I have to go. _Rule #1 in The Echolls guide to dating women: Do not harass them mercilessly for a year.

**Season 1 Episode 10:** Dream of another half-naked woman

**Episode guide:** Both Logan and Veronica start moving on and Aaron's return is worse than imagined.

A/N: They're not mine but they sure are fun to play with

Veronica's POV:

Ok Veronica Logan Echolls kissed you. One moment you were thinking about gracefully leaving the Echolls to deal with their family issues (or at least scratch the surface) then all the sudden you are pinned between the surgical gloves and the vending machine thinking that kissing Logan may be alright after all. I pull up at Wallace's and pound on his window.

"Girl you better have a good reason for waking me up at 7am." Right there is an appropriate time to make social calls. I must be out of practice. Another thing I can thank Logan for, actually I'm sure if I try hard enough I can blame Logan for pretty much anything.

"I brought bagels?" He smiles and opens window wider allowing me to crawl through.

"So what's the case?" Right I don't do girl talk with Wallace either. Oh god.

"I kissed Logan Echolls." Great segway Veronica way to lay it all out there. "Well technically he kissed me but you get the picture." Not that I tried to stop him. Logan was addictive, the perfect mix of blinding passion and intensity with the kind of security that I never thought he would be able to convey. His kiss was sheer power because Logan doesn't touch when he can caress, hold when he can embrace and he certainly doesn't kiss when he can make out. I am pulled out of my rather enjoyable memory of the forbidden kiss by Wallace's laughter.

"For a Private Eye you're kind of blind there Mars." I look at him incredulously for a moment "The guy's been eying you like a fat guy ordering at Burger King for weeks now." This is not good. Logan cannot be looking at me.

It took Logan 4 days after Lilly's death to hook-up with another girl. She was stick thin, brunette and easier than a Playboy bunny on GHB. Everyone thought this meant he was over Lilly and, therefore, fair game. They didn't hear him retching and sobbing in the bathroom after-wards. Ever since then Logan has surrounded himself with a plethora of easy, vapid girls who want him for nothing more than his name, his influence and/or his money and Logan doesn't care. He doesn't care because for all of Lilly's faults she never cared about his money or power she cared that he was just rough around the edges to make Celeste worry but not tarnished enough to make him any real danger to her and she loved him. She may have fooled around, treated him like shit and then expected all to be forgiven with a coy smile (which it was of course) but in her own way she truly cared about Logan and had often said that they just needed to get the bitching and cheating out of their systems while they were young so they could be together forever. Basically she challenged Logan and when she died he refused to be with another girl who would push him. So he didn't, choosing to play in the shallow end with the girls who were tamed with his trademark smirk. To the world he was moving on. To Duncan and me he was floundering and wouldn't dare test deeper waters. I am deep water. Even when I was the bubblegum princess dating Duncan there was never a time when I would have been described as undemanding. Logan looking at me means he is thinking of deep waters and really moving on.

"Wallace this is bad. Like really bad." Wallace just raises his eyebrows as I plow on. "That's Lilly's boyfriend." The topic of Lilly has always been tough for Wallace because he didn't know her. He wasn't sad that she died, he didn't have to rebuild his life because someone bashed her head in with an ashtray and he definitely didn't know exactly how possessive she was over Logan. To his credit he was always tactful. He listened to my random stories about her, went to the memorial, and I once saw him almost hit a freshman whom he heard calling Lilly a slut. But Wallace did those things because he cared about me and Duncan and even Logan, not because he loved Lilly.

"Look I know I don't know Lilly but wouldn't she want Logan to be happy?"

"Wallace I love Lilly and Lilly loved Logan but I'm pretty sure she'd rather see Logan dragged through glass than really happy without her."

"Then maybe she didn't really love him." Wallace says softly. He's waiting for me to laugh and give him one of those looks I give when he totally misjudges Lilly's character but I take a second to think about it. What is my basis for Lilly loving Logan? That she said it once or twice in that off-hand way she did when something was so unimportant to her it didn't merit her looking up from her magazine? She crushed Logan, publically, numerous times, slept with Weevil and I'm willing to bet she'd rather Logan pine away for her for years then have him in love with someone else. No, Lilly didn't love Logan she loved that Logan loved her.

"Yeah, maybe." Wallace and I share a pensive moment of silence before I realize I have to go home and change for school. "Thanks Wallace."

"Anytime superfly."

Logan's POV

So I kissed Veronica. She kissed back but the point is I initiated it. This is the reason for the overwhelming amount of guilt I feel as I knock on the Kane's door.

"Hey man how's your Dad?" Great and he's even pulling the good friend card. God why couldn't Duncan have fallen for Shelley Pomroy?

"Fine." And coming home in T-minus 4 hours. Something I am personally not excited for. We do the guy stuff play video games, discuss Madison's impending party and I try to find a way to subtly bring up Veronica.

"So anything happening on the case?" We don't say Lilly's murder or even Lilly's case anymore. Not when we're talking about the clues and looking at the pictures of her bloody head. It is easier to make it impersonal.

"Uh not really." Duncan sticks his tongue out in concentration zapping on of my characters on the screen. "Dude what's with you? You're playing worse than Lil-" We've gotten to that awkward point in moving on where we'll blurt out something like remember when Lily…and then we stop cold because we realize for about 2.5 seconds we forgot that Lilly is dead and we aren't nearly moved on enough to deal with that.

"No man Lilly was totally worse she just liked that all the guys had 6-packs. No skill at all." I'm the first to take the next step. To talk about Lilly without a shrink making me, or wanting to vomit. I think this is what they call progress. Duncan just nods with a little smile probably remembering his sister petulantly demanding he play for her so she could finally beat me.

"Yeah good call. Nothing more on the case though. There's this deputy that was all flirty with Veronica when she went down to visit her Dad so she's thinking of trying to flirt her way into the evidence room." Duncan curses under his breath as a bomb takes one of his player's lives. Ok Veronica has been brought up. Target acquired.

"Really dude that doesn't bother you?" Because it bothers me and I've only kissed her once.

"I don't particularly like that idea but we need the crime scene recordings. Plus Weevil is going to come in and distract the officer while gets the tape and she carries a tazor in her purse. I think she'll be fine." Oh well if Weevil's there. What is the appeal seriously? Anyways moving on.

"So are you going to get back on the horse anytime soon?" Wow that was a pathetic attempt at nonchalance. Duncan pauses the video game and looks at me curiously.

"Logan if you want to ask something just ask it. Subtly isn't you're strong suit." The guy does have a point.

"Are you and Veronica going to go all Dawson and Joey on us?" Duncan rolls his eyes.

"I thought she was my sister for a year. She thought I hated her for a year." This is going exceptionally well. "It's going to take some time Logan." Fuck Fuckiddy Fuck.

"So you still have feelings for her?" Please laugh in my face. He simply scoffs indignantly.

"Of course Logan. The future Mrs. Kane remember?" Oh god he was serious about that. I spend the rest of the afternoon trying, unsuccessfully, to put thoughts of Veronica out of my head. Duncan Kane makes Prince Charming looks like sleeze bag. He's doing the noble thing, patiently biding his time until Veronica is ready to turn back in to his Princess and she will. They will have a tastefully large mansion, little blue-eyed kids and a trendy-yet-family-friendly SUV before you can say Stepford Wives. Duncan is dependability and exactly what Veronica should have. Duncan may have ignored her for a year but he took 2 minutes not 2 months to apologize, he makes her laugh, swoon and cry and really no one can compete with anyone who evokes such conflicted emotions.

Veronica's POV

Avoiding Logan was extremely easy as he took the day off for his Dad's recovery, something I am sure he is more than happy to be helping with. So since I couldn't busy myself with ducking in to classrooms Wallace and I decided to make some chunk change digging up 09er's parental feux pauxs. A job that was harmless until Mac showed up. How do you tell someone they were switched at bitch with the queen of the bitches. She promises to leave the Sinclair's alone if I promise to crash a party with her. Something that shouldn't be to challenging since Duncan already invited Wallace and me. In order to quell the guilt for not calling Logan to ask about his Dad and for telling Mac her little life-changing tidbit I sink in to the world of crazy conspiracy theorists as I try to weed out the caller who gift wrapped Koontz for Lamb. Naturally I am stopped by a knock on the door at…mid-night. This is when having a father who doesn't 

run away to Texas to chase bail jumpers would be advantageous. I grab my tazor and open the door slowly.

"Logan?" He is either holding his body funny or his shoulder is severly dislocated, he has black eyes and a split lip and the worst part about this whole thing is I can tell from his stance that the worst marks are on his back. "Oh my god Logan, come inside you're shaking like a leaf." I wonder exactly how long he has been standing out there debating knocking as I wrap a blanket around his shivering shoulders. From the pain on his face the shaking isn't doing wonders for the shoulder that is unnaturally close to his ear and I decide that is worse than the fact he is cold. "I need to look at that shoulder Logan." He nods wordlessly and goes to shrug off both the blanket and the jacket. The excruciating pain this dumbass move caused him explains why he is suddenly unconscious on my couch. While he's still out I cautiously remove his arm from his jacket sleeve causing his face to contort in agony but still leaving him senseless. I'm guessing the fact that his is lying on his back isn't doing much for the pain. God-damn Aaron Echolls wasn't a guy who just recovered from a near fatal stab wound supposed to appreciate life and be a better person all that second chance crap. I wet a washcloth with cold water and hold it against the least damaged part of his face.

"Logan. Open your eyes Logan common." He groans and his eyes flutter open he stares at me momentarily in confusion then seems to piece it together.

"Wow that was suave." He says with a mix between a chuckle and a moan. No wonder he wears himself out, he spends 99 of his time pretending he's fine. He's bleeding on my couch and trying to make jokes. I lace my fingers through his hair and stroke his pale face with the pad of my thumb. The fresh shiners do nothing to curb the intensity in his stare and if it wouldn't hurt him I think I'd be kissing him right now.

"Logan I need to take you to the hospital." I say softly not breaking contact. "That shoulder is pretty rough." Logan gulps down air and looks away to the ceiling

"No the tabloids are all over my family right now. They would make it their mission to find out everything." The bitterness is obvious in his words. "Can't you just, I don't know, pop it back in or something." Ok I watch Grey's Anatomy but mostly because the MerDer drama is too intense to miss not because I know anything about medicine. I think I heard once you can do permanent damage both if you wait too long and if you do it the wrong way. I need a solution and fast.

"I have a neighbor whose a nurse let her look at." Logan looks at me apprehensively but he's not completely shutting down the idea. "She won't tell anyone and we can tell her you got in a bar fight or crashed your car something like that." I run to my Dad's room before he can respond and bring out one of my Dad's old undershirts. "Put this on and she won't have to see your back." He doesn't even respond to the back comment but nods wordlessly. "Here let me" I say when he tries to lift the hem of his shirt. I go slowly, knowing that some blood will have scabbed onto the shirt. His good arm and his head are fairly easy but there is a defiantly awkward moment when I brush my hand over his shoulder to guide the shirt off. His eyes haven't left my face and I know better than to show shock at the deep purple bruises trailing down his side.

"Do you think any are broken?" I ask as I softly run my fingers down his sides checking for any misplaced ribs. He shivers slightly at my touch and shakes his head no. The bruises are going to kill for days maybe even weeks but nothing seems broken so I help him wrestle the shirt on. I haven't looked at his back yet but judging from the blood on his previous shirt, I'm not going to like what I see.

I run to Sarah's apartment quickly babbling some crap stories about a bar fight and Logan not wanting to further tarnish his family name in the tabloids. She swears her secrecy and I believe her mostly because I threaten to destroy her if this gets leaked and she know I can. Logan is sitting hunched on the couch beads of sweat on his brow probably from the pain considering the cold weather.

"Hi Logan." Sarah says with enough sweetness to convey she cares but not enough to make him think she's going to ask for an autograph when this is all over. Logan gives her a weak smile. "I'm Sarah I'm going to pop you're shoulder back for you ok. Lay down here on the floor you'll be more comfortable" Logan pales a little but nods. At the pained look on his face I instinctively kneel by his side and grab his free hand which he clutches fiercely.

"On the bright side Logan you'll have freshman girls wanting to kiss you better all week." He tries to laugh at that but Sarah rolling his shoulder is causing him too much pain. "Just relax it's almost over." I use my other can to brush away the sweat-laden hairs from his forehead as she rolls the shoulder outward the most painful part. I'm not surprised when he doesn't scream or whine just clenches his jaw determinedly and squeezes my hand. I wonder how many time's he's clenched his jaw to stop from screaming out in pain and the thought makes my stomach roll. Sarah rolls it again and he is out cold but she's got his shoulder back in place. She carefully drapes his arm over his chest as if there was a sling and then gets up to leave.

"He'll wake up in a bit that was pretty bad." She says and leaves the room not asking how a guy who was so obviously sober and wearing pajama pants got in to a bar fight.

I bring out the cloth again taking the dried tracks of blood of his face and wondering what happened for Aaron to completely lose control. I have his head resting on my lap and I lean against couch knowing full well it is too late to dull the bruising on his eyes with ice. He comes too, blinking groggily a few times before focusing on my face.

"I'll have you know most of my female encounters are much more pleasurable and end with her peacefully unconscious."

"From discomfort?" I ask with a little laugh and he manages to stick his tongue out. "Here take these you stud." I pass him two of the extra strength Tylenol Sarah had and he swallows them gratefully and sits up. I help him to his feet., well not really given the size difference but I try, and lead him to my bedroom. Considering the circumstances this shouldn't feel as forward as it does. He manages to lay face down and, since it doesn't move his shoulder, the discomfort comes only from the bruised ribs.

"I feel like a dropped peach." He mumbles miserably as he attempts to get comfortable. I'm about to laugh when I pull his shit up to reveal the angry red marks. What I saw last time was what some sick 

people could claim to be discipline. There is no one I know who would deny this as abuse. Bruises from the belt buckle and haphazard red gashes pepper his back and there are some excruciatingly painful looking spots that hold both. Suddenly I notice intense red marks doting his arm. If I thought his back was bad that is nothing compared to the ash-filled burns on the inside of his arms.

"My Dad took up smoking again." Logan says almost apologetically. Yeah cause it's his fault his father is a sadistic fuck.

"Oh my god Logan." I forgot at that moment the importance of not gawking since his pride is far more wounded than his back. I catch myself jaw-dropping , eyes-widening and place a hand on the one unmarked sport I can find. "I'm sorry Logan it's just didn't realize it gets this bad."

Logan's POV

To her credit she did only stare, dumbfounded for a second and then touched me instead of recoiling in horror. So far she's surpassed my expectations.

"It usually doesn't" His uncontrollable rage only gets brought out in special circumstances and me spilling his affairs at the top of my lungs in a public hospital apparently draws out the beast.

"Common we have to get the ash out of these." She's trying to play it like she's said that sentence a million times before. Somehow I don't think third degree burns are a feature in the Mars residence. I'm glad she doesn't make an overly big deal about them. She puts my arms under the cold running water and holy shit it stings like a bitch. She does it with all of them desperately trying to subdue the burning sensation. She efficient and as gentle as humanly possible and though the water stings while its running, afterwards, when she puts polyporin on them and carefully wraps them in gauze,I can't help but notice the burn isn't quite so bad.

"Better?" She asks quietly as if she's worried she's done it wrong. I nod silently willing myself to meet her eyes. The vanilla perfume wraps around me as she comes closer and all I want to do is kiss her, right there in the bathroom beside her gun-totting's father's shave kit and make her forget that she ever enjoyed another guys kiss. Reality hits me as she pours disinfectant over the gashes on my back and I suddenly remember that girls like her don't need a fix-er-upper when they can have a Kane. The antiseptic stings must not quite as much as the loss of contact when she finishes and pulls me off the toilet seat to her bedroom. "Lay down." She says with such gentleness that I can't help but comply. Maybe it's the painkillers, or the crappy day or the fact that I'm lying in Veronica's bed and she's there beside me weaving her fingers through my hands but my eyelids are unbelievable heavy and I can feel myself drift off.

Veronica's POV

The painkillers knock him out and he is immediately tangled up in my pink sheets and I can't help but think he looks almost peaceful for the first time in a long time. When I'm sure he's out cold I peel the sheets down and lift up his shirt snapping pictures on the grotesque bruises before carefully rolling him over to zoom in on belt buckle imprints and the angry welts on his back. He still doesn't wake up so I carefully remove the gauze strips protecting his burned arms and click a few images quickly before bandaging him back up. I breathe a sigh of relief when I'm done and hide the camera irrationally afraid he is going to spring to life. It feels sleazy snapping pictures of him when he's asleep but damnit if he decides he'll let me really help him and I can't. The jury will need the gory shoots so they can clench their jaws in rage and know that anyone who can burn the flesh of their own child is not fit to be a father. I get a glass of water and place it beside him on the table. It's a gesture he probably won't notice or appreciate but it's my way of telling him that he's going to be ok and that he's safe here. I leave the room oddly reluctant to leave Logan alone in the bed. I don't want him to feel alone anymore. I also don't want him to wake up wondering why Veronica Mars is curled into his side so I tiptoe out of the room and sink into my father's bed.

A while later I am woken by the sounds of screaming and pleading. My eyes shoot open as I remember Logan in my room. Quickly I jump out of bed and run into my room. Logan's face is pale and damp with a mixture of sweat and tears and he is thrashing around pleading for something to stop. God I hate Aaron.

"Logan!" I shake him away quickly and my heart pangs at the look of sheer horror when his eyes fly open and he bolts upright. "You're ok. Everything's ok". I gently push his shoulders back down and he lets me but he is breathing heavily and shutting his eyes trying to disappear from the situation.

"So I guess you won't believe me when I tell you I dreamt of naked Jessica Alba" He says with a shaky laugh.

"I don't know, after her stint in Sin City she seemed kind of freaky to me." I play along gently placing a concerned hand on his cheek. "Maybe you should dream of another half-naked woman."

"Suggestions?" He says with a suggestive smirk and I slap him on the chest in response. He may have a smirk on but I can still feel him tremble under my fingers and his eyes still hold a trace of fear. Something inside me churns when I realize that his dreams are probably too close to reality for waking up to be any real comfort.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask quietly pushing myself further on to the bed. He let's out a shaky breath and I think the fact he is even considering talking is progress.

"Just the usual: violent fathers, laughing sisters, drugged mothers." He says with a wry laugh and I can't help but note that there is more honesty in that statement than anything he has ever said to me. He is admitting he's scared which in itself is just so big for him that I feel like I owe him something. I owe it to him to let him know it's ok that he's scared and shaking in my twin bed and it's ok that the brave mask is slowly peeling off because I know that he is tough and strong and everything else he so desperately thinks he has to pretend to be.

"Too close to reality for comfort." My answer is honest and provocative because his was too and maybe I can't make him see that he is going to be ok but I can strip my words of their sarcasm and give him some genuine empathy. Because I know. I know that his father hits him and Trina doesn't believe him and his mother is too ambivalent to stop it. More importantly I know that he is scared of his father, mad 

at his sister and disappointed in his mother. The belts might hurt him but his mother sitting there watery eyes, drink in hand listening as the leather smarts against his back is what crushes him.

So this is how I end up slipping into bed beside him desperately wanting to give him a warm body to latch on to.

Veronica's POV

Of all the times I imagined getting Veronica Mars in bed, and trust me there were multiple variations, having her squeeze into a twin bed because of my nightmares never came up. Then again I'm a teenage boy, I'll take what I can get. She rolls over to face me and I can't help but think it is way too reminiscent of the kiss to be comfortable and she doesn't actually expect me to sleep now does she?

"I have nightmares about Lily sometimes." She offers quietly. It's a big thing for Veronica bring up Lily at all let alone the fact that she is has nightmares. We haven't talk about Lily since before our little vendetta and I don't know how we're supposed to talk about her now. So we don't. I just nod at the comment accepting it as what it is: an admission to show that she too is one big emotional disaster and maybe that's ok right now.

Our noses are almost touching and it's so painfully intimate I can hardly stand it. We lay like that for a while staring at each other in silence and I think that it is so fricken wack that it suits us perfectly. Is there an us? _The future Mrs. Kane. _I used to see her as the future Mrs. Kane. I thought that she would wear tasteful Chanel suits, and organize charity events while Duncan expanded Kane Software. This was also when I thought they would be living near enough to Lily and I that I would end up sleeping on their couch when Lily got mad at me. It was stupid and childish to think we'd end up with matching mansions and our kids would play together as we reminisce about the good ole days. Even if Lilly had survived and the marriages happened I would have eventually had to notice that she had someone else's smell on her when she came home and the Old Veronica would have slowly cracked under the pressure of being a Kane while Duncan worked too late to notice.

Amazingly it is her who makes contact first. Her feather-light fingers outline the dark bruise forming on my eye. She lets her fingers run over the dislocated shoulder to my back. Careful not to hit the new welts she traces the old scars. The whole thing is so gentle and raw that between our almost touching noses, the shivers her touch gives me, and the comfortable silence it is hard to remember why this is such a bad idea. Her serene looks suddenly changes to distress and she bolts upright immediately.

"The bong." I furrow my eyebrows figuring she's just made a break in some case. Then again how can she could she have been thinking of work while she was an inch from my face looking in to my eyes like a friggin Harlequin romance novel.

"This is what my little joke cost you isn't it." Oh shit. I'm not exactly good with girls and tears. Lilly rarely cried and when she did it was usually my fault so I wasn't exactly doing the comforting. Veronica puts a distressed hand to her head, a stray tear or two trailing down her cheeks. I sit up slowly partly because 

of my sore ribs but mostly because I don't really know what to do. As much as I don't want to spiral into a full-fledged discussion of Daddy dearest past-times I do owe her a synopsis.

"It was months ago Veronica." I say quietly putting an arm awkwardly around her which she thankfully doesn't shake off. "Just forget about it. It was a long time ago it's not a big deal." Truth: One of the worst beatings in my life but she doesn't need to know that.

"Forget about it!" She says indignantly. "Gee Logan I'm sorry that I can't immediately get past the fact I was directly responsible for your being whipped!" If I didn't know Veronica so well the vehemence would have been surprising. She chokes a little on the word whipped and put her head in her hands disgusted with herself, with him and probably a little with me.

"Hey it's not like that ok." I brush a strand of hair away from her face and looking into her watery, red-rimmed eyes trying to figure out why she feels that this is such a big deal. "He would have found another reason Veronica; sometimes he doesn't even need one it's just his way of dealing with his embarrassment of a son." I say with a half-hearted smile.

Veronica's POV

_It's just his way with dealing with his embarrassment of a son. _Oh god. I know it's common for people in abusive situations to think they deserve the horrible treatment they receive but surely Logan doesn't think that. Logan is bravado and entitlement he is not self-doubt and vulnerability.

"Logan what your fathers does it's not your fault either." Logan looks at me wondering how it went from him calming me down to me reassuring him, or at least trying to.

"Are we about to reenact Good Will Hunting?" Logan asks with a smirk but his eyes betray him. They shift nervously from my face to the face and I want desperately to tell him over and over again that it's not his fault but damnit I don't want to sound like Robin Williams.

"You don't deserve any of it." Similar angle, different words. Logan is starting to look increasingly uncomfortable and it dawns on me that he really believes this is acceptable.

"Common, remember the bum fights?" He says with a humorless laugh.

"Yeah." I said softly shuffling so I was facing him fully our foreheads and knees almost making contact. "You deserved community service work, grounding, having your car taken away something like that." He's suddenly really interested in the stitching on my comforter. Trying not to think of Duncan or Lily or the million other reasons why I should just let this go I bring a hand up to cup his face letting my thumb stroke the edge of his bruise. "You did not deserve this." The contact makes him lock eyes with me and although the words aren't a miracle maybe it's a start and maybe someday he'll believe me. We're inches apart now and my hand moves from his bruise through his hair and I kiss him again. He's surprisingly tentative but it heats up quickly.

"What are we doing?" He says with a laugh breaking the kiss. A new surge of butterflies take flight in my stomach. Does he want this? Is he just hurting? Is he trying to replace Lilly."

"I don't know." I say with a half-hearted laugh. He leans in and kisses me softly hearing the unasked questions in my voice.

Logan's POV

"Are you sure about this?" Sure she has apprehension but she's not competing with friggin Duncan Kane. "What about Duncan?" Her face holds something akin to confusion and she still is running her hands through my hair so I figure it's a good sign.

"What about Duncan?" Should I tell her? Prince Charming is getting the shoe fitted for you and is just waiting for your hair to grow three inches and your face to soften slightly so don't waste your time with the pale replacement.

"He's still in love with you." I say softly waiting for her confused expression to turn to elation. She doesn't say anything for a while but she doesn't move away either.

"I'm not in love with Duncan anymore." She says in answer to my unasked question. I'm unconvinced but I figure that being a place holder is better than nothing. "So, how are we going to play this?" She asks curled next to me her legs intertwined with mine. Play this? Personally I was figuring that we'd just kind of walk in to Neptune High holding hands but I have always been a fan of the low-concept plans.

"I mean with Duncan." Right the ex-boyfriend who happens to also be my best friend/the only person in the world who has always been there for me. "And the fact that we supposedly hate each other."

"Uh I think that stone has been uncovered." If anyone thought I still hated Veronica punching Dick in the face when he called her a slut definitely set them straight.

"Maybe we should just keep this to ourselves for a while." I am so most definitely holding Duncan's place.

"What like meet in broom closets and send each other secret messages?"Shockingly she picks up on the slight bitterness in my voice and cups my cheek. God how can I deny this girl anything when she does that? She leans and kisses me again.

"I just think we should tell Duncan first." She puts her hands on my chest in a placating manner. "Look I don't want to keep this a secret but I don't want to lose my friendship with Duncan. More importantly I don't want you to lose your friendship with him. He's your best friend Logan." I know she's right and that's the worst part of all of this. I nod and force a smile and she rewards me with a lingering kiss.

"Secrets are kind of hot too." I can feel her smile against my lips and it's no wonder she got her claws so far in to Duncan.

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!**

**ps..thanks to those who PM'd me with the title of the story for those interested it is called "The One Who Loves You." and its good**


	11. When God closes a door

**Chapter 11: **When God closes a door he occasionally closes a window as well.

**Episode Guide: **A frame job tests Logan and Veronica's new relationship, a counselling session gives absolution. Logan finds a new friend and a dear one.

Logan's POV

I blink a few times taking in the sight of Veronica's darkened bedroom. A few open case files lay open on her desk along with the crime stoppers tip tape she successfully flirted out of the evidence locker. My bloody shirt is folded beside a glass of water but the little homey touch does little to quell the sense of foreboding I feel when I realize the bed is missing a certain blonde detective. I can hear her clanging around the kitchen attempting to be quiet and probably figuring out a plan to let me down easy. The door creaks open and I shut my eyes as she tiptoes in desperate to maintain the illusion of our relationship for another few minutes. Instead of the awkward encounter I image she is peppering my jaw line with light kisses causing me to grunt in a mix of appreciation and annoyance at being woken.

"Wake up sleepyhead" She whispers after landing a kiss by my ear. I pull her on to me and bury my head into her hair in a show of disagreement. "I made pancakes."

"Hm I thought I smelt something burning." Her eyes hold no regret or anything else but adoration and a little disgruntlement that I insulted her cooking, To be fair I have good reason.

_Flashback_

_Lilly and I were fighting Duncan had skipped the party due to some early morning model UN thing and I had spent the better part of the night puking my guts out as Veronica rubbed my back. After somewhat of a fight I surrendered my keys and allowed her to take me back to home since her parents were celebrating their anniversary in Canada. She had dumped me unceremoniously on the couch force fed me some water then stomped off to bed not bothering to hide her agitation. Another person I had pissed off. Needless to say this wasn't a pretty morning after._

"_Morning" Veronica says quietly from the door. She sits beside my shoulder on the couch handing me some Advil and a glass of water. "How are you feeling?" She asks tenderly pushing the locks of hair off my forehead. I guess the night mellowed her out she is extremely less pissed. I just groan in response and cover my eyes to make a point. "I made pancakes if your up for them" her voice is still carefully lowered to not agitate my hangover and I want to sleep on that couch forever._

"_Sorry about last night." I reply softly looking at the bucket of puke by the couch with disgust. She seems to be hesitating with something then finally looks me in the eye with a kind of determination._

"_Are you ok" Unable to look at the unbridled compassion in her eyes I look away. "I mean I know it's been a rough week for you with Lilly being, well a raging bitch actually."_

"_Ms Mars did you just insult Lilly Kane and swear in the same sentence? The apocalypse must be coming."_

"_Drop the act Logan." She says with a kind of anger I never heard in her voice before and I look on amused. "Jesus Logan you tried to drink your weight in over-priced vodka, so much that even Dick was trying to get you to slow down. Then you try in drive? You wouldn't have made it a block before you killed yourself and/or someone else." Her little face is scrunched up in anger and I would have left if I wasn't scared she'd hit me. Her face softens again and she reluctantly takes my hand. "I'm sorry that you're upset Logan, really I am. If I could make it stop hurting believe me I would but I can't. More importantly you can't let Lilly being a bitch be your reason for drunken joy-riding." She's getting worked up with her little tirade and I quip back if I wasn't struck dumb by her sincerity. "Duncan, Lilly and I, if we lost you Logan…" She trails off blinking back tears and I immediately feel horrible at causing her so much fear. I reach up and wipe away a fallen tear._

"_I'm sorry." I whisper out surprised by the emotion in my own voice. _

_BEEP BEEP BEEP the fire alarm causes my hangover to increase ten-fold and I immediately cover my head with her pillow_

"_Oh my god the pancakes!"_

_End flashback_

We eat the breakfast in companionable silence both lost in our own thoughts. Me concerned about facing school for the first day since my father stabbing and Veronica fretting that she won't be able to eat the last pancake. She kisses me goodbye in a very housewifey way as I jump in to the Xterra and head back to my house to grab some fresh clothes for school. This is not how I imagined the day ending when I left for Veronica's before.

_flashback_

_Too say that my father had been unhappy about my bedside expose would have been the under-statement of the century. To top it off my mother had been more passive than usual not even making eye contact when I brought the belt and a fresh back of cigarettes in to the study. No matter how many times I heard him rant about what a disappointment I was and how I would be the downfall of the family each word still stung more than the crash of the belt that accompanied it. He mentioned that my mother's unhappiness and lack of devotion to the marriage was my fault and I had hit him back in a moment of rage. Surprisingly this didn't do much to anger my father who seemed to know that the understanding that I could be capable of domestic violence would do more damage than a fresh broken nose. That didn't stop him from popping me hard in the face and shoving me in to a bookcase as if I were a rag doll._

_Furious I storm out of the study in to the Xterra and drive aimlessly through Neptune not bothering to wipe the blood of my face. The sharp pang of my shoulder began to take up more and more of my mind and I am suddenly parked in Veronica's complex staring at her lit apartment. _

_I stand outside her door for ages. I am not scared she'll push me way or hurt me. She proved her ability to keep her mouth shut long ago but the thought of her seeing the worst of my father's work worries me. My shoulder screams in protest as I continue shivering in the night cold wondering if Veronica would ever look at me the same after this. Reluctantly I knock on the door._

"_Logan?" Her face jumps between bewilderment, concern and horror as she puts the pieces together. "Oh my god Logan come in you're shaking like a leaf." She says before carefully wrapping a blanket around my shoulders. No turning back now._

_end flashback_

Deep down I may have expected the genuine concern and her ability to find some way to fix the popped shoulder. Having her snuggle in bed with me as she traced the fading bruise on my eye then being kissed awake for a pancake breakfast were extras that made my father's 'punishment' a miracle.

Still feeling deeply contended with the way the night turned out I flick on the radio as I pull in to the parking lot.

"If you're breathing you've heard about Aaron Echolls getting ginsued at his own Christmas Party."

"Explain to me why a man married to Lynn Echolls needs to bang the friggin help!"

Apparently this day is going to be shitty after all. Luke bangs on my window and flick him a fake smile then walk in to school determined not to let the gossip mongers of Neptune High see my apprehension. I round the corner to my locker and hear a very distinct voice yelling in to the crowd that is surrounding it.

"You think someone's Dad getting stabbed is funny?2" Veronica pulls down what are inevitability tabloid pictures from my locker. Duncan stands beside her, too diplomatic to start raging at the crowd but is threatening their social standings with the Kane glare. "Or is it the adultery thing because last time I checked it wasn't so funny when it was your father Ashley!" Ashley goes beat red and leaves causing the group to follow fearing their own family secrets getting spilled. Unnoticed by both Duncan and Veronica who are busy peeling off pictures Hector has flatted one of the ones Veronica crumbled and threw to the ground. He looks it over then sees me and smiles appreciatively.

"In my humble opinion, your mom's way hotter." Duncan tries to grab my arms but it's too late.

"Shut the hell up." I say landing a punch and causing my shoulder to squeal in agony.

"Bad idea son." Hector throws me against a locker and is about to throw a punch but is thrown off by Duncan who steps in between us and is alternately trying to pull us apart and land a punch or two of his own. Duncan doesn't fight much but when he does he hits true and he is more than making up for my lack-luster fighting caused by my father's late night activities. A gym teacher breaks it off and hauls Hector and I away leaving Duncan since he came up in Duncan's moment of attempted seperation. Regret immediately washes over me as Veronica watches with a look of horror on her face. Like father like son I think miserably.

Veronica's POV

I want so badly to run after my beat up boyfriend who is now even more in pained and upset than before. Knowing that will only make the situation worse I walk over to Duncan instead.

"You ok their Rocky?" My ex-boyfriend isn't exactly known for his fighting abilities leaving most physical altercations to Logan and usually recommending Dick or Luke for back-up. Push comes to shove though Duncan would never let anyone throw a punch at Logan without at least attempting to pull them off his best friend. That is the kind of loyalty I'm counting on to ease the whole I'm-dating-your-best-friend-speech I intend to have with him while he helps me uncover the late night mystery caller.

"Why did Logan have a black eye and why couldn't he get a decent punch in?" Duncan is picking up way too much playing PI with me.

"I don't know. It's Logan he gets in fights." Duncan doesn't seem convinced though because although Logan has a reputation as a fighter he doesn't usually leave the scene with wounds himself. If he does it's usually gossip that would have made itself to Duncan by now. "Remember I am bugging the sessions so don't say anything you don't want me to hear" I say quickly trying to get Duncan's mind off Logan's black eye.

I catch Logan's eye in Chemistry but he pretends to be taking notes. When he whizzes by me wordlessly on the way to English than pulls Dick and Be-Cassidy in to the A/V room unstealthily as I walk towards them. Finally I slap an out of order sign on the bathroom and send Logan a text demanding his presence. He shows up minutes later looking like the only reason he came was because he's too defeated to keep avoiding me.

"Hi"

"Hey" He replies smirking a little than scuffing his feet. I jerk my head telling him to come over to where I'm sitting on the counter and he walks over reluctantly.

"You have been avoiding me." I say in a playful tone planting a chaste kiss on his lips to prove that I am not mad just confused.

"Here is thought I was being sneaky"

"I think it was the shit guys there she is before pulling Dick and Cassidy into the A/V room that gave you away." I say looping my arms around his neck. "What's going on?" Logan signs then steps out my embrace pacing anxiously.

"Just everything last night, and the tabloids and this thing with Duncan and my shoulder hurts." Logan says sighing and looking up to the ceiling, Logan doesn't usually complain and it's clear from his awkward smile he doesn't want me to think he's whining. I don't. "Plus I don't want you to think I'm like my father." Ah, now that makes more sense. He drops his eyes and doesn't lift them when I grab his hand and pull him closer.

"Logan you are nothing like your father." I wrap my arms around his neck and he leans his forehead on mine soaking up the words. He may not believe me now but if I say it enough times maybe he will. "This is for your shoulder" I hand him a sling and a bottle of painkillers and a tiny smile begins to play at his lips. "The rest of the stuff isn't stupid. It's been a shitty day." I pull him to a hug and he releases a shaky breath and rests his head on my shoulder. We stay like that for a moment, until my found rings taking us both out of our moment of comfort.

Logan's POV

She looks at me apologetically, playing with my fingers as she pick up the phone.

"Hey Mac I'm kind of in the middle.."She trails off her look of reproach turning to one of concern. "Do you know who framed you?" Uh-oh. I didn't know Mac well but Veronica assured me that her funky side-kick was definite friend material and we had developed a sort of semi-friendship based on her surplus of computer expertise and my poor computer science grade. "Ok I'll be there as soon as I can. Ask for Cliff McCormick and try not to aggitate Lamb."

"What's going on?" I ask suddenly worried for my computer buddy. "Did she hack in to Clemmons email again?"

"Someone framed Mac for making fake Ids " Veronica says not bothering to hide the confusion on her face.

"Mac? Like our Mac? Mac who has probably had one raspberry cooler her entire life and that's because I told her I would set Madison on her if she didn't?" Veronica smiles a little at the memory of me trying to cheer Mac up with raspberry coolers at Madison's.

"Yeah." She starts gathering her stuff then shakes the sling at me pointedly glaring at me until I put it on. "Ok I've gotta take care of this. Are you going to be ok?" She asks leaning in for a gently kiss. Personally I want nothing more than to stay in the bathroom with Veronica as she attempts to kiss away all the problems in the world. Unfortunatly my motives aren't exactly pure and my fondness for the bright haired computer geek makes me conceed.

"Go on. Free Mac before I have to do a project on my own." I gasp in not-truly-mock horror and kiss my little, blonde girlfriend goodbye.

"I'm taping the counciling sessions today so don't say anything you don't want Duncan and I to hear." I nod and she leaves to go rid the world of injustice.

Veronica's POV

"Howdy Rick." I say angrily shoving the junior into the wall as Mac watched on menacingly.

"Does she know you?" I point at Mac without breaking eye contact with him. "Didn't think so. So why did you say she sold you a fake ID?" Rick looks like he is about to wet himself and I subtly flash my tazor to hurry the process along.

"It's what they told me to say?"

"Who's they?" Mac demands making bunny ears around 'they'.

"NO. No way. They're everywhere they will destroy me."

"We'll destroy you worse." I threaten again pissed that this weasely guy has torn me away from my boyfriend when he so obviously needed a little support to get through the day. My unbridled rage mixed with Mac's not too subtle glares cause Rick to spill about the secret club called the Triton's and the fact that there member list includes Duncan. So if I follow Duncan I'll get the Tritons.

Taking a break from Mac's case I call Duncan and Logan over to listen to the recordings. We agreed it was better for all of us to listen to it together to 'clear the air' as Duncan put it. We were also relying on Logan to be out Lilly relationship expert since Duncan and I didn't know as much as we thought we did. Both Logan and Duncan look tense as I pull up to my apartment and lead them inside with the CD. Without much preamble I press play. My own voice rings back to me from a quarter of the way through the session when I finally planted the bugged stapler.

"_What do you want me to say? That I miss her, that it still hurts when people try to mold her in to some girl she is so clearly not? Do you really need a grant to figure that out?" _I really need to work on controlling my temper.

"_I just want to understand how you expect to move on?"_

"_What is it with you professionals and moving on? Lilly's death changed my life there is no 'moving on'" Unhappy with the continued slights at her career choice Ms. James changes the subject._

"_How did Lilly's death affect the relationships in your life?"_

"_Been listening to the teacher's lounge gossip again?"_

"_I noticed that your relationships with both Logan and Duncan as well at the other kids you use to hang out with seemed to disintergrate."_

"_You could say that."_

"_How did that make you feel?"_

"_Look it was a hard time for all of us. Logan lashed out because he was hurting and the only thing he felt sure of was that my father and I were wrong. Duncan just lost his sister and there was some other unresolved stuff with us that just made pretending I didn't exst easier for him. But it's done now."_

"_So just bygones it's all the same again?"_

"_No, it's better." _I blush feircly at the admission and Duncan stares at me intently and Logan tries to hide the smile creeping on his lips. I fast-forward to Duncan. Duncan is even more evasive than I am which is impress as I manage to spent most of the time talking about Logan and Duncan's feelings. He delivers a tastefully sweet yet not overly-sentimental story about Lilly's facial expression before stating he has somewhere else to be. Ever the politician. I fast-forward again until I hear Logan's voice crackle through the radio.

"_Thanks for coming in Logan."_

"_Thanks for getting me out of a calculus test Becky"_

"_It's Ms. James please." _Can the lady not get a simply defense mechanism?

"_So the week Lilly and I broke up would have been our 2__nd__ anniversary. We were together since senior year."_

"_Off and on?"_

"_Yeah off and on" Logan sounds a little resigned._

"_And at the time you were?"_

"_Off" The vehemence in Logan's voice obviously shocks Mrs James because he continues on softer. "Permenanently."_

"_What happened"_

"_Her story: I kissed another girl. Truth: it's easier to have sex with the pool boy when you don't have a boyfriend."_

"_When we talked immediately after Lilly's death it sounded like you blamed Veronica for what happened. Do you still feel that way." _My stomach churns with dread as Logan seems to carefully conisder his answer.

"_I used to think that it was Veronica's fault for telling Lilly about me kissing another girl and for the video being leaked. It was easier than the truth I guess."_

"_What's the truth Logan"_

"_That I would have told Duncan if I had seen her with another guy, Really it's my fault for kissing Yolanda in the first place. If I had than Lilly wouldn't have been alone that day. I would have been there."_

It shouldn't surprise me that out of all the recordings Logan's holds the sound of unshed tears and guilt. He was naturally demonstrative and had too many emotions to keep them all fully surpressed. The guilt thing was a common thread amongst us. I still wake up wondering what would have happened if I made Lilly tell me her secret before she cut out from the car wash. I'm sure Duncan lies in bed some nights wondering what would have happened if he happened stopped to talk to the coach after soccer practise. Our difference from Logan was that we had people to quell our guilt. My father spent countless hours telling me there was nothing I should be sorry about and I'm sure Celeste did the same with Duncan. Who had for Logan? Lynn might have but Logan wouldn't have taken her slurred reassurances as anything more than drunken ramblings.

"It's not your fault." Duncan's voice being thick with emotion is a rarity at best and the sound causes both Logan and I to look at him with surprise. Logan looks down and I realise why Lilly had been such a sore topic for him and Duncan. When Logan saw Duncan's pain he saw someone he let down. He felt he was the cause of his best friend's heartache and therefore steered clear of all discussion in fear of increasing his guilt.

"If I hadn't kissed Yolanda…" Logan trails off miserably and Duncan shakes his head.

"Then yeah maybe you would have been there. Or maybe she would have blown you off again, maybe you would have ran out to get chips and come back to find her dead, maybe Dick and Beaver would have convinced you to go to Mexico anyways." Duncan struggles to hold back the outward show of grief and I simply watch the scene unfold knowing that Duncan is the only one who can give Logan absolution as far as Lilly goes. "It's not your fault." They do some kind of man-hug thing and I assume that means all is well in guy language and I pretend not to notice when they pull back and dawn matching tear tracks.

"Wow it's like watching a Lifetime movie in here." I fumble around for Weevils recording and look at Logan reluctantly before playing it.

"Logan maybe you don't want to hear this."

"I seen Sex in the City re-runs Mars I think I can handle it." Logan says indignantly. Right now is not a good time to bruise my boyfriend's ego.

Weevil feigns ignorance at the beginning and I'm glad Logan doesn't get the same flicker of hope Duncan gets in his eyes because Ms James pulls out an incriminating letter.

"_You tore my heart out. You can act like what we had together meant nothing to you, but you can't stop me from loving you. For the rest of your life, wherever you go, I'll always be there, just out of sight, in the shadows." _Logan is livid and Duncan shakes his head grimly.

"_I don't remember ccing you on that" Weevil says taken aback by the councillors recitation of the letter._

"_Lilly wanted to be transferred out of your gym class. She was having trouble with a boy.She gave me these as proof." _Well that's creepy. _"Look Eli I didn't call you in to embarrass you I wanted to give you a chance to talk about what made you right these things" Weevil gives a resigned sigh._

"_Her and Logan had just broken up. And uh, Lilly-Lilly swore to me that she'd never go back to him but then…one day that punk snaps his fingers and…all of a sudden it's like, like, we don't even know each other any more. And…she was someone I could have loved, you know? And she felt it too, I know she did" _I look across at Logan who simply looks resigned. The fact that Lilly proclaimed she loved him will do nothing to calm him now. Instead, images of a probably post-coital Lilly whispering to Weevil that Logan no longer mattered to her would take the place of her confessions of love. Another person had dismissed his presence and swept him under the rug.

Logan's POV

Duncan leaves shortly after still trying to get images of a biker dating his princess sister out of his head. I sit on the couch and Veronica curls up beside me throwing her legs over my lap. I play with her hair thoughtfully and she quietly waits for me to speak content to sit silently in my arms until I work through Lilly's dismissal of our

turbulent, but be no means loveless, relationship.

"Do you think Lilly loved Weevil?" Talking about ex's is bad form especially in new relationships but since when have Veronica and I ever been normal.

"I don't know." She says softly turning to looking in my eyes. "Lilly never talked to me about Weevil." She's already told me this but she also knows that extra reassurance doesn't hurt. "You're handling this a lot better than I thought you would." It's hard to be mad at Weevil when I'm so busy trying to figure out how Lilly could say she love me than basically tell Weevil she'd never go near me again.

"Yeah well after the stuff she told Weevil it kind of makes you wonder…"

"But she chose you didn't she? She chose you." She holds my eye contact firmly trying to drive the point home with a stare. Veronica was different from Lilly in so many ways. Where Lilly was self-important and entitled Veronica was a giver unconsciously placing other peoples needs parallel or above her own. As much as she tried to harden herself and strip away her natural caring, trusting nature her love, when she decided to give it, was all encompassing and that was the most dangerous thing about her.

"You're not Lilly." I say after a few moments of silence.

"Brilliant deduction Logan." She says moving out of my arms, narrowing her eyes slightly.

"No I meant - I didn't want you to think you were second choice or that I was just replacing Lilly." She softens and rewards my recovery with a heated kiss.

"Neither are you." She says with a soft smile. Her face turns a little more serious when I don't respond and she somehow manages to pick up that her placing me ahead of Duncan means way more than my comment about Lilly. She pulls back a bit study my face wrapping her arms around my neck. "You're not second choice either. You get that right?" There are something Veronica doesn't need to know about and the verbal abuse that corresponds with his physical is definitely one of them. I nod and kiss her again thinking that there just might be a time when I truly believe it. The kiss instantly passionate and after a few minutes we break apart gasping for air.

"I'm not going to sleep with you." Veronica blurts out before blushing red. "Not yet anyways." Something closely akin to fear is in her eyes and it causes me to stifle the urge to laugh. As much as a may have called Veronica a slut I never once actually believed it. I brush a strand of hair away from her flushed face and smile down gently remembering I'm not with Lilly or any other of the girls who would open their legs at the drop of a hat.

"I'm not going to pressure you." I spent the rest of the night realizing that Veronica Mars is better than sex.

Veronica's POV

"Yo FloJo slow your ass down." I turn around to see Wallace following to my car in the business of the day I had nearly forgot he was accompanying me on my stake-out. There is something exceptionally seedy about following around an old boyfriend. Duncan never believed the stalking rumours and we had a great many laughs at the apparent lengths I'd go to get him back. "I am so glad bitter, abrasive blondes aren't my type." Wallace says sliding in the passenger seat. "3 days and you two are already fighting!" Apparently Logan doesn't have the same sense of humour as Duncan and I. "You going to tell me why Rich boy botched our chemistry experiment because he was giving you the evil eye?" My best friend and my boyfriend starting to get along is about as unsettling as my best friend and my ex-boyfriend getting along. Logan and Wallace may not be as buddy-buddy as Wallace and Duncan but Wallace has definitely developed a soft spot for Logan over the past few weeks.

"He's pissed because I'm tailing Duncan and I don't want to tell him we're dating yet." I say exasperated by my boyfriends petulance. I suddenly understand Lilly's aggravation at his jealous streak. He's so frustrating part of me wants to jump Duncan just to piss him off.

"Why don't you want to tell Duncan you're dating." Wallace is so not playing for team Echolls!

"Because I need to weasel information out of him and he'll be more accommodating if he isn't thinking up new ways to kill me." No one seems to believe me. When I explained this to Mac she just raised her eyebrows. It was Logan who had told Mac, over a failed computer science project, that we were dating and she apparently has been promoted from tutor to confidant in Logan's world as she asked for the inside scoop of the big fight. Wallace surprisingly leaves it at that and all boyfriend talk is abandoned.

If I wanted Duncan before his rendition of sweet chariot is enough to make we want to crawl back in to Logan's arms. His gibberish response to all my questions makes me even more aggravated and I sit in a booth plotting the demise of all the men in my life (expect for my father and Wallace of course). I try again with Duncan trying the aggressive tacit of bringing up Tim's coma. Duncan shakes his head, speaks more gibberish and gives me a look saying I should know him better. I sink back in to the booth and re-evaluate the Tritons. So far 6 guys have sung karaoke in falsetto. Since they only indicted 6 members this leaves no rooms for anyone else. I also can't imagine calm, collected Duncan leaving Tim to die in a bar because he was too scared to deal with it. Duncan and Tim were on the soccer team together and although they weren't exceptionally close they got along nicely and I knew that Duncan had visited Tim in the hospital once or twice. Maybe it wasn't the Triton's after-all.

"Hey Logan." I say carefully neutral as he picks up the phone.

"Hi." I do my best to ignore the cool greeting and moved on.

"So I'm think that the Tritons angle is a diversion. I was wondering who made your fake ID." Logan laughs bitterly on the other line.

"Are you serious? You think I framed Mac?! Mac is my friend how could you --"

"Logan, I don't think you did it. I think who ever gave you your fake ID might have." I say cutting him off abruptly. Logan seems a little taken aback and embarrassed by assumption.

"Locker 110. You put 250 in and then you get a fake ID by the end of the day." He says making an obvious effort to be calm.

"Secret locker. That's cool." I say attempting to level with him. A little giggle from his end clues me into something, "Logan are you drunk?" Silence "It's 3pm on a Wednesday afternoon!"

"Yeah well I had a crappy day something to do with my girlfriend tailing her ex-boyfriend and refusing to tell said ex-boyfriend we are dating." He has more bite than usual and I'm sure I can thank the whiskey.

"Get over it Logan it's for a god-damn case."

"Right out of all the club members you had to follow Duncan."

"Duncan is the only one of these guys who won't step over my corpse for free gum, something I can thank you for by the way, and if he finds out I'm tailing him he'll give me my very expensive bug back."

"Right well if Duncan is so perfect why don't you just jump in to his pants then I hear you have a history of doing that." Oh we want to play dirty.

"Fine maybe I will then I won't have to deal with my angry-drunk of a boyfriend." Calling him an angry drunk is enough to imply he is like his father and even though that's not what I intended I immediately regret it the moment after. "Call me when you're sober Logan, or at least capable of rational thought." I slam the phone down and Wallace just raises his eyebrows from across the booth

"Remind me to never piss you off." I scowl at him then return to Mac's case. Mac was his friend too shouldn't he be glad I'm doing everything in my power to clear her name!

Trying to shake off the bad feeling I get when I ignore another one of Logan's calls I go to the sheriffs office with the evidence from the locker to clear Mac. Turns out Rick was still sore with Mac over the purity test scandal and thought staining her permanent record was a good way to get her back.

I'm still fuming at Logan when I settle into my car to head home. Impatiently I flick on the radio ready to distract myself from thoughts of killing my boyfriend.

_Traffic on the Coronado bridge is backed up due to delays caused be a possible jumper. Guess who the car belongs to? Lynn Echolls! That's right folks billionaire actress and renowned philanthropist is said to have jumped off the Coronado Bridge about half an hour ago. _

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW…feed the beast!!**


	12. Even when you yell

**Season 1 Episode 12: **Even when you yell

**Summary: **Tragedy tests relationships and this is only the beginning

**A/N: not mine**

Veronica's POV

Before the news even has even remotely sunk in I am pulling an illegal U-turn and heading towards to Echolls mansion. Our little fight seems so embarrassingly immature right now. Two people who weren't really angry just eager to one up each other and too stubborn to apologize. I swing in to the servant's entrance to avoid the paparazzi that guard the gate like blood-thirsty vultures.

"Where is he?" I ask quietly. Mrs. Navarro is fretting about the kitchen with tears in her eyes and I find it awfully sad that one of the few people who care about Lynn is making sandwiches instead of mourning.

"In his room. He isn't taking any visitors." I give her a look that she knows mean she isn't going to stop me. In the post-Lilly, pre-exile stage I had gone up to Logan's room many of times he was refusing to see anyone.

"And Mr. Echolls?" Considering I might accidentally run into him with a butcher's knife if I see him right now I figure avoidance is key.

"Giving a press conference" I don't miss the bite in her words. What kind of father holds a press conference when his wife dies? Did he think for a moment Logan may need him? "Take these up to him. See if you can't get him to eat something." Mrs Navarro has made his favourite deviled egg sandwiches but somehow I doubt he'll be very hungry. I nod and take the plate anyways knowing if he can be tempted to eat anything it will be this.

The eerie quiet of the house sends shivers up my spine and I as I lean up against Logan's door I hear the very distinct sound of sniffling. I stand at the door for a second before I realize I am eavesdropping on a extremely personal moment. Logan rarely cried. Even when Lilly died his tears were shed in private. To the world he only showed his anger. Quietly I slip through the door and walk over to the bed where Logan is lying, his head stuffed in a pillow. He doesn't notice me until I sit on the bed and start rubbing circles on his back. Surprisingly he doesn't lash our of shun the small bit of comfort I give him and I think he's probably sorry too. That's probably what the 4 missed calls from him were about. We're silent for a while, Logan letting the tears slip out and me tracing gentle patterns on his back.

"You came." He says finally. His smile is uncharacteristically soft and I think he finally understands that I choose him.

"I'll always be here for you Logan." I say wiping away the last of his tears "Even when you yell, even when I yell." Aside from sounding totally lame the speech drives the point home and he shuffles over to let me lie down on the bed beside him. He kisses the top of my head and pulls me close and I know its his way of saying forgiving me and apologizing at the same time. Moments later, due to the emotional exhaustion of the day, he is sound asleep. Careful not to wake him I grab my cell and tip-toe in to the hallway.

"Hey dad"

"I bet I know where you are right now." Although the world doesn't know we are dating my father does. When he walked in to finding us making out on the couch I figured we'd better be dating if Logan didn't want to meet the shot-gun. "How's he doing?"

"Hurting but brave." If that's not embossed on his body somewhere it should be.

"When should I expect you home"

"Dad…"

"You sleep there tonight and that's it." Well, that was easy.

Logan's POV

She came. We had both over-reacted, blowing up and saying things we didn't quite mean is our specialty, but she hadn't left me and that's more than I can say for the other women in my life. My heart clenched again as he thought of his mother. A swan dive off the Coronado Bridge. It wasn't an ashtray to the head but the fact that it was her choice stung more than anything I could imagined. When the most important people in your life start dying you start to wonder if you're the catalyst for the destruction. I protectively stroke the wave of blonde hair lying across my chest. The Logan/Veronica combo would be different then the Duncan/Veronica combo. It goes without saying we would be more intense, passion wasn't exactly Duncan's forte, but we would also be more destructive. Our fight today was over nothing, a mix of frustration and unprompted jealousy. If we ever had cause fight over something real, then the words would fly like daggers. I am not Duncan. I am not calm or safe or dependable.

"I'm not that easy to get along with."

_"_Really. I hadn't noticed." She says with a small smile.

"I'm not Duncan" I don't say it this time with that possessive tone I say it as merely a statement. She looks up with a devilish smirk and leans in to kiss me.

"Really? Well that explains the 6-pack." She trails her fingers down my stomach with uncharacteristic boldness. "the sense of humour" she pecks me again "and the butterflies that seems to have taken up residence in my stomach." she punctuates with a light fluttery kiss. "and the really hot kisses." to prove her point she kisses me hard and passionately before pulling back and letting her finger trail down my face. "No you most certainly are not Duncan Kane." I hold her close feeling ridiculous for letting my father's comments about Duncan almost ruin my relationship with Veronica.

"We can tell him now or we can wait until after…"She trails off because she doesn't want me to feel like she has Duncan on retainer or that I have to risk losing my best friend when I just lost my mother.

"I'll tell him after things settle down a bit." She nods and lays her head back down. The temporary reprieve in to relationship disaster land was better than the current mother-suicide land. Trying desperately to stop the raging surge or grief threatening to overflow I turn on the TV. Veronica lays her arm across my stomach protectively and doesn't object to watching infomercials for the next few hours. Somewhere between the egg-stractor and the nose hair plucker I managed to drift off into a restless sleep. If I were awake I would have witnessed a rare moment of Old Veronica rearing her head as she tucked me in, replaced the tequila bottle with water and kissed me on the forehead before she went to sleep in Trina's room

Veronica's POV

You can tell who you true friends are by the way they respond to a crisis in your life. The days leading up to Logan's funeral made his magic number five.

Dick ditched Madison to have guy time with Logan. The fact that his 'guy time' meant he brought over numerous bloody, violent video games wasn't the point. The point was that he was there and he had risked Madison's wrath for it, was. My non-existent respect for Dick grew to semi-respect at that moment. He also managed to 'accidentally' hit one of the paparazzi members with his car which gained him major bonus points with Logan.

Duncan ran the 8 houses down from the Kane mansion and started planning. Being all stiff-upper lip and boy-don't-cry, Duncan didn't invite conversation but he made the following week exceptionally easy on Logan. Aaron was too busy having press conferences and organizing the fancy wake to actually plan the small, private service Lynn requested. So Duncan did it as well as dealt with the help, stashed the sympathy baking and bought out all the tabloids at the nearby store and preceded to trash them.

Mac, still unsure of where her and Logan stood friendship wise, was too uncomfortable to deliver any sympathetic speeches or bring up his mother in general. However, the Star website, which was currently milking Lynn's death for all it was worth, mysteriously crashed and was unable to show the story to its faithful viewers. A fat stack of burned DVDs, including some which would be impossible to get with out some serious illegal, hacking manoeuvres appeared in the Echolls mailbox. There was no doubt who they came from.

Wallace stepped up as one of the few people who had the guts to actually talk about Lynn with Logan. I don't know what was said one of the few times I was not there but I figure it was some sort of introduction to the dead parent's club and I didn't press for details.

I was there too in the agonizing days before the funeral. Logan was adamant he wouldn't attend school until the funeral happened or he stopped being hounded by the paparazzi and my father refused to let me miss out after the first day. We compromised, reluctantly on his part, with him allowing me to spend the nights at Logan provided I slept in the guest bedroom. I made a noble effort to make it to the guest room the first night but even I don't have the willpower to turn-down an opportunity to spend the night with my seriously hot boyfriend. Logan is a consummate gentleman. He even offered to sleep on the floor at one point but I told him it was ridiculous and if I was so worried about his proclivity to grope in his sleep I would have stayed in the guest bedroom. We never didn't sleep together, in fact the only kisses that were exchanged that entire week were chaste and reassuring. To be honest this was mostly due to the fact that Duncan was constantly buzzing around. Logan didn't say much about his mother or how he felt about her death. I heard him cry occasionally, when he thought I was lost in sleep and I would do nothing other then lean in closer to him and occasionally whisper soothing words in his ear. We didn't talk about it in the mornings afterwards and I didn't push deciding to for once be patient and not treat my boyfriend's grief like a case. Both of us have been let down and torn apart in our last relationships but I thought that if we did this differently, if we were really honest and patient and kind with each other than maybe we won't implode. I sit in contemplative silence waiting for Logan to return from getting his suit when I hear voices raising from across the hall.

"You poured that milkshake out in the backseat because we didn't buy you a monkey, then, when I went to grab you, you smacked your head against a window." Aaron's voice roars. I roll my eyes. My mouth tightens as I imagine Logan, young enough to still believe he could have a pet monkey, getting boxed around by his father. The same father who is now glossing over his abuse. I'm more than certain that his abuse is more than physical that there is some reason, bigger than teenage jealously, that causes Logan's habitual fear of not measuring up. My reverie is stopped short by Logan slamming in to the room in a rage of fury. Funeral day today, not the best day in the Echolls household. He throws himself back on the bed in exasperation.

"My sister sent a wreath." He mumbles in explanation. I get what he is not saying. His sister couldn't even be bothered to come. If not to honour Lynn then to at least be there for Logan and, dare I say, Aaron. Another family-oriented let-down in the Echolls house. I nod in understanding lying on his chest and soaking up the silence until I can hear his heart-rate slow under my ear.

"I'm going to go ahead in the limo with Duncan and Wallace ok?" Logan nodded knowing his father wanted to present a united front and with his father so unstable he didn't know how going against him would turn out. I leave to get ready and Logan shuts his eyes

Logan's POV

"Hey lover." Lilly?

"What you forgot about me already?"

"Of course not Lil." Truth be told, though I could never forget about Lilly, my dreams have strayed further away from voluptuous blondes getting their heads bashed in to a tiny detective.

"I can read your thoughts you know." Well that's awkward. "Only if you make it awkward. Now listen up I have limited time and important things to tell you." I can't help but note it is kind of impressive how she commands even from the after-life.

"Thing one: You and Veronica. Awsome!" She does a little jump and tosses her hair. "Took you long enough by the way. Anyways enough with this Daddy doesn't love me emo-shit Veronica wants you not my dorky brother."

"You were always one with the warm and fuzzies Lil." She rolls her eyes.

"Second: Logan your mother. I am so sorry. I loved her." Her eyes are brimming with sincerity and for once the 'I'm sorry' line doesn't seem like a platitude.

"Wait did she…is she with you?" Lilly just looks at me sadly than comes closer. I can smell her bubblegum smell and I miss her so much at that moment I want to grab her and keep her with me forever.

"I wish I could tell you." She sits on the bed and I'm surprised to find her eyes full of tears. "Third and most important: Logan I am so sorry about your father." She shakes her head sadly. I guess she really didn't know about the abuse.

"Common sleepyhead wake up." My eyes bolt open to see Veronica smiling down at me her face framed with golden curls. I pull her towards me and kiss her hard. "Is everything ok?" She says when she pulls away from the unsure kiss.

"I'm just glad you're here." Veronica smiles softly at that and takes my hand.

The funeral is a joke. My father makes a fake eulogy and cried fake tears over a fake coffin because they haven't even found the body. I'm surprised to find Mac and Dick in the crowd with Veronica, Duncan and Wallace. Mac gives me an unsure smile and I give her and appreciative head nod. Dick tells me to let him know if any paparazzi members need to be taken care of.

"They like you. They really like you." Veronica says with faux-enthusiasm. I smile at the retreating form of Mac and Wallace as they retreat through the crowds to sit at a pew. I had half-expected Dick and Duncan to pull through being old friends of the family and of mine. Wallace and Mac had come out of the woodwork on their own. The funeral was a painful blur. A lot like being put on aesthetic for surgery, you can't feel the pain yet but you know that when you can, it's really going to hurt when you can. Veronica's hand holds mine tight and I'm sure if I could stare at anything not pretending to be my mother's dead body I'd notice the concerned flicker of her eyes towards me. My father drones on about my mother's charitable deeds and I zone him out clutching Veronica's hand tighter as I revert to my own memories.

_flashback_

_My Dad had always had a temper, he always yelled, was always scary but he never actually hit me. I am confused when he tells me to choose a belt from his closet. He is already mad at me and, trying not to get in any more trouble, I do what I am told. My mother looks up curiously from her glass of gin and tonic and flashes me a smile._

_"What are you doing with Daddy's belts Logan? Don't anger him more by playing with his things."_

_"He told me too bring it for him." My mother looks confused but then shrugs assuming he had a hard day at work and had simply forgotten his belt. I knock on the door study reluctantly._

_"Daddy?" He looks away from the window and nods for me to come in. "Here's you're belt I didn't know which one you wanted but Mom says never to wear black and brown so I picked brown to match." My father solemnly picks up the belt and catches my arm as I turn to leave. _

_"Turn around Logan."_

_"Why?" I ask confused._

_"I'm going to teach you a lesson." I sigh and turn around awaiting another lecture._

_"Lift up your shirt."_

_"Uh. Ok." I'm really confused now. Maybe this lesson is more of the philosophical nature. All the sudden the leather belts cracks on my flesh and I let out a yelp of surprise._

_"Ow!" I can feel the tears prick in my eyes. "Stop! That hurts." I exclaim moving out of the way of the belt surprised at my father's anger. He roughly pushes me down and continues whipping as I sob in pain and anger. The moment he finishes I run to my room tears flowing freely down my face. My mother is inside my room putting laundry away in an uncharacteristic display of domesticity. _

_"Baby what's wrong." She says dropping the laundry and picking me up placing me on her knee. Being 8 and very mature, I often declared myself to old to sit on my mother's knee but between the pain on my back and the new anger at my father I can't help but throw my arms around her neck. She smells of flowery perfume as she holds my head close to her chest and whispers comforting words._

_"What happened honey?" She pulls back enough to look me in the eyes. "Did Daddy's lecture upset you this much?" Tears pouring down my face I look my mother in the eye,_

_"H-He hit me." Her face goes stone cold and she swallows and angry lump in her throat._

_"Show mommy where it hurts." She says gently holding back her anger for my benefit. I pull up my shirt and my mother gasps in horror at the deep red marks on my otherwise unmarred back. "Don't worry sweetheart he won't hurt you again." She says holding me close to her chest again. "I won't let anything happen to you."_

_end flashback_

My eyes sting at the promise I had believed with such youthful vigour. I don't think I ever have felt safer than I did that night wrapped in my mother's arms as she sung me to sleep promising me it would never happen again. A cool hand squeezes mine and I look sideways at Veronica who notices my eyes have pooled at the memory. She hands me my sunglasses from her purse without a comment.

_Veronica's POV_

Logan is obviously off in his own world during the service. I only interrupt his trip down memory lane when he takes a wrong turn and twists into a dark alley of too painful memories. He'll have to deal with them in time but right now, with the camera flashes and the gossip hounds, is not the time.

The wake is worse than the funeral and it isn't long before Logan stomps off.

"Have you seen Logan?" I ask Wallace grimly who is munching on a crab puff

"No. But if my Dad's funeral had been like this I'd be hiding too." I nodded in agreement then walked upstairs where the guests were not supposed to go assuming he was holed up in his room. The entrance to his mother's private chambers is open and I reluctantly step through figuring if it's not Logan or Aaron the person should be kicked out anyways.

"Logan?" I questioned gently coming to sit beside my boyfriend on an expensive looking couch. The room had been his mother's favourite place, her sanctuary. For the entire week Logan had been peppering me with stories about Lynn. She had been funny and talented. A charismatic woman whose undeniable beauty was second only to her personality. Know for being uncommonly kind and generous Lynn has started many charities and was an active parent. In Logan's younger days she would often be seen at PTA meetings or driving him to school sending him off with a hug and kiss. Aaron became jealous of the image and reputation his wife had gained completely genuinely. Lynn has always been able to balance her children and work and although she had a nanny to help her she was always around as much as possible. Apparently this wasn't enough for Aaron who was scared of his wife becoming more famous than he was. He struck Logan for the first time when he was 8. Lynn meant what she said when she promised her little boy she would take him away deciding at that moment to divorce her husband who had made her increasingly unhappy. Lynn was fuming at Aaron. She yelled, screamed and threatened while Aaron just apologized profusely saying he was sorry and it would never happen again. That wasn't enough for Lynn and she swore to divorce him the next day refusing to be with a man who hit her child. The next day Aaron broke Logan's arm and Lynn's nose and promised her that if she tried to get out he would find her and Logan and kill her. Something in his tone convinced Lynn he wasn't kidding around and she never tried to leave him again. She tried numerous times to step in but Aaron would make the punishment worse for Logan and occasionally hit her as well. Lynn felt helpless and since there was nothing she could do she went into a tailspin. Her charity work ended and she no longer had interest in acting. She became passive and drank more devastated by the scars on her son's back and the betrayed expression he got whenever she looked at him.

It wasn't until Logan told me these stories that I understand the depths of responsibility he felt for his mother's suicide.

"Hey" he replied not looking up from the lighter in his hand. I rest my chin on his shoulder and brush a kiss on his cheek.

"What's that?"

"Did you know mom's dad fought in the Korean War?" I shake my head negatively. "He got this lighter in Seoul. He held onto it even when he was captured. He and his buddies escaped and he had it engraved." He passes the lighter to me and I finger the fading words "Free at Last". I get an awful feeling of foreboding but I intertwine our hands and give him a little squeeze encouraging him to go on. "They didn't find a body because she's not dead. She just escaped."

**REVIEW!! please i love reading them they make my day and I am so not above begging**

**a/n: the "even when you yell, even when I yell" line (or something very close) is actually from a Grey's Anatomy speech from Derek to Meredith.**


	13. Author's Note

Hey guys…so sorry about the delay im actually working in Ireland right now and the computer I don't have internet except for internet cafes….chapters are being written on my laptop and will be posted in August don't worry the story will be finished (nothing worse than reading a WIP)

Heres a little taste of what's to come

"What if I am comfortable with…you know…. the prequel to the Logan Echolls escapades"

" I just don't want you to get your hopes up"

"You let me worry about my hopes"

"Did he touch you!?" He growls angrily

"Veronica and I are…dating"

"DUNCAN STOP"

"She really did love you…you know that right?

"A blonde lady"

"My mother…I have to go"

"Im coming with you

PS…hmm…its more dramatic and interesting than I make it sound I swear

Pps. So sorry for those of you who thought this was a real update… I promise ill be prompt in August…in the meantime please write so I can be entertained as I nanny crazy children


	14. I care about you and all that shit

Season 1 Episode 13: I care about you and all that shit

Episode Guide: An apology, a steamy distraction technique and looking for something that might not exist shift Logan and Veronica's relationship.

Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue.

a/n: so again im playing around with the POV...i know it's probably annoying but I like using fanfic to practice writing technique so im exploring options. I think im going to stay in third person though

Veronica is silent for a moment as she debates her options. Very few people fake suicide, even less get away with it. Then again it isn't hard to see the determination in Logan's eyes and she knows if she dismisses him without hearing him out she'll risk losing him forever.

"What makes you think she's still alive?" It's not a refusal and, judging from the look of uncertainty on her face, Logan should be grateful for that. He muffles the urge to tell her to just trust his instinct for god sake but she's Veronica Mars and trust, even of something as basic as instincts, does not come naturally to her. Instead he opens her fingers and curls them around his mother's lighter.  
"She always had it in her purse. The night she disappeared she left it on her dresser." This is the moment Veronica would gently tell her client that more proof would be required for her to take the case. Then again, Logan is her boyfriend not a client. To be honest Veronica isn't sure what to think about Lynn leaving the lighter. It could be a sign of hope but it could also be a sign of resignation. Lynn's admittance that the only way she'll be free of Aaron is in death.  
"Is there anything else besides the lighter that makes you think she is still out there?" At the realization she is pacifying him, Logan drops her hands angrily and jumps up pacing. He knows that she's looking out for him, trying to save him the pain of a wild goose chase, but he needs her to believe him. The only other person he has told is Duncan. Not wanting to upset Logan further Duncan just said slowly that he wished Logan's mother was alive and if he truly believed that she was he should talk to Veronica. Unfortunately, Logan has known Duncan since kindergarten and it wasn't hard to see the disbelief in his eyes. "Logan?" Veronica prods gently. "Is there anything else?"  
"They didn't find her credit cards or a body." Logan snaps defensively. Knowing he is lashing out, Veronica doesn't bite back and simply waits for him to continue. "Isn't that like a clue or something?" Veronica is about to open her mouth to respond but Logan cuts her off quickly. "Look I know my mother. If she was really going to do the deed it would be chardonnay and sleeping pills. She wouldn't risk being found bloated and bug-eyed in some fish net." The rage has dwindled with his tirade and Veronica just nods slowly. Lynn does have a lot of money. Enough, in fact, to make disappearing possible if not plausible and Veronica kicks herself for not thinking of that before. The fact that credit cards and her body are missing does raise a few questions. Sure the chances are slim-to-none but she knows, more than most people, the importance of closure.  
"Ok." Veronica says firmly much to Logan's relief and he plops down beside her gratefully. "I'll do everything I can." Logan is not an idiot. He knows Veronica isn't completely convinced but she doesn't know Lynn like he does so he's not upset or disappointed about it, after all she is still looking. There is no way Lynn would leave Logan alone to deal with his father. Lynn never abandoned Logan. Even though 

she rarely stopped the belt from crashing on his back, even though she was medicated to the point where she barely cared that Logan looked like something out of an old Pirate movie, she was always there. Sometimes she'd manage to distract Aaron: seduce him so he screwed his anger out with her, drug his drink so he'd sleep the rage off, invite people over so Logan could escape to the Kane's for the night. If she couldn't stop the punishment, something she was less successful with every passing day, she would come to his room after. Usually Logan would tell her to leave , too hurt and angry to deal with her. Sometimes though, when it was really bad and he felt exceptionally needy, he would let her sit with him and took comfort in the maternal fingers patching up his back and she told him, drunkenly, but truthfully, how sorry she was. His mother would never leave him, not like that, not so permanently. The scent of his mother's perfume and the look of her clothes finally begin to cause his throat to tighten and his eyes to water. Unwilling to cry in front of Veronica for the third time in two days he blinks them back, rights himself and offers her his hand.  
"Let's get out of here." He says with a forced smirk. "We have important guests to impress." Veronica takes his hand and they walk out the room. Before the staircase approaches, Veronica leans up and pecks Logan on the lips. Suddenly feeling the tremendous need for this kind of distraction, Logan deepens the kiss, catching Veronica by surprise. She catches on quickly though and returns the kiss with equal fervor. Passion is something both Logan and Veronica have excess amounts of and this is illustrated by the fact that she is currently pinned to the wall as Logan grinds his hips against hers and slowly works his hands under her shirt.

"Logan, Logan stop." Both panting they pull away breathless. Her hair is mussed like she's had at least four rounds of very acrobatic sex and Logan's combusting gaze is being perfectly executed.  
"Yeah we should probably get back to the cocktail weenies." Logan says with a smile not wanting her to feel the need to make up and excuse for yelling at him to stop. The moment she had timidly, but firmly declared that she was not going to have sex with him he knew that she was going to be setting the pace and he had decided then that he wasn't going to make her feel like she had to justify stopping anything.  
"We don't have to go back down there if you don't want to Logan." She assures him peeking down the stairs uncomfortably. "I just don't want your best friend to find out this way." She says pointing to their ruffled clothes and mussed hair.

The day Veronica chopped off all her hair and traded her pretty pink clothing for heavy boots and edgy t-shirts was the day she decided she was not going to let her rape effect her. She never shied away from boys, went to the odd 09er party with Duncan, Logan and Wallace, and had forced herself to be physically close with Troy. It was the best decision she made. Forcing herself to endure the feeling of Troy's hands on her waist and tongue in her throat until she craved touch and intimacy again was the smartest move she ever made and, although the guy turned out to be a drug-dealing bad boy, he managed to give Veronica her libido back. Both her and Logan thank him.

Logan picks her up bridal style and carries her to his room taking Veronica's mind quickly off of Troy and Shelley's party. Jokingly, he pops his head out the door and pretends to look for Duncan before closing it again. He pushes the lock in and Veronica feels her heart rate increase. _Logan would never touch a woman against her will _she reminds herself as he comes towards her and kisses her. She responds 

tentatively and, noticing that, he backs off slightly. _Logan would never hurt me, not like that. It's Logan you can trust Logan. _She commands herself to believe this but being locked in a room with a guy makes her stomach twist in a million wrong ways and the slight tremble of her lips betray this to Logan.  
"You ok?" He asks as he softly tucks her hair behind her ears. There are many faults that Logan possesses but there has never been a girl who has complained about how he treated her. Even with his bad boy rep he still had a respect for women that his mother had ingrained in him at an early age. Sure he didn't open doors and buy roses for one-night-stands but he never purposely made a woman feel cheap and he certainly is chivalrous, or at least tries to be chivalrous, with the girls he dates. Veronica knows all this. Lilly told her many stories of Logan's hidden tenderness and his insistence to wait until she was ready to sleep with her. Obviously, being Lilly Kane he didn't need to wait long, but like every girl she had to have a first time and Logan was light-hearted and reassuring throughout the whole fumbling process telling her to tell him to stop if she wanted him to. Lilly, of course, took that as a challenge and they promptly became the most sexually active 16-yr olds on the planet. Logan has always been patient and respectful and Veronica knows there is absolutely no reason why she should be feeling like she's about to be assaulted. _Get on with it Mars, you can trust Logan. _

She smirks up at Logan, her eyes full of decision and determination, before grabbing his hand and leading him to the bed. Lightly, she pushes Logan on to the bed and gently loosens his tie before throwing it aside. The act seems to clue her in to something and she looks up a little embarrassed with herself.  
"Is this really the time?" Whatever Logan needs from her he's not going to get in from – from whatever is about to happen and she doesn't want to be that girl who tries to paint over hurt with passion. Logan just smiles up at her and pulls her back down by her shoulders for a soft kiss. He has cried, talked and thought about his mother for the past week and really, all he wants to do know is make-out with his amazingly hot girlfriend and forget that there are 200+ people in his living room pretending to be sad about his mother.  
"I'm pretty sure right now is perfect." Logan mumbles as he kisses a trail of sloppy, warm kisses down her neck. She looks down at him with uncharacteristic sexuality and starts to boldly undo the buttons of his dress shirt. Knowing from experience that kissing below the collarbone will make her freeze Logan starts to work his way back to her mouth. She pushes of his shirt and he's impressed, though confused, by this sudden increase in speed and he wonders for a moment if he should be slowing them down. Then again he did say he would let her set the pace. This the first time they've laid down on a bed while making out and though that doesn't seem like a big deal it puts the thought of the next step into both of their heads. Tentatively, Logan creeps his fingers up her shirt and is momentarily surprised when she doesn't tense slightly but instead guides his hand to the underwire of her bra. Now Logan is confused. When they first got in the room she was tentative and shy and now she's bold leading his hands to places he didn't expect to touch for weeks. For a second he remember her look of determination and realizes, with stunning clarity, what must be going through her head. For all the rumors Logan spread about Veronica he knew she was a blushing virgin. Logan, on the other hand, was not. Although he realized that his reputation as a bit of a man-whore, after-Lilly of course, was more or less deserved he didn't want Veronica to feel like she had to measure up. She wasn't another slide on the picture show of 

easy girls who's legs were programmed to open after a few wine coolers and he knew that and wanted her for it not in spite of it.

Her hands skim dangerously close to the waist-band of his jeans and she's straddling him, making out like she'll never get to do it again and Logan really, really hates the fact that he is going to stop this. He gently pulls back on her shoulders, breaking the kiss, and looks up in to her face that is flushed and framed with short waves of blonde hair. She gives a sexy smile and Logan thinks that someone up there really, really wants him to get blue-balls.

"Hi." The slight softness in her voice betrays the confident sex-goddess vibe she is trying to put out. Logan already dated a sex-goddess and, as much as he loved Lilly, he is not looking to replace there ultimately hellish relationship. Veronica and Lilly were perhaps the two women, besides his mother and potentially Trina, that really held the power to hurt him. The difference between Veronica and Lilly is that Lilly used this power. Veronica, alternatively, realized that the power to hurt also meant the power to heal and spent more times patching wounds than making them. Logan doesn't want another Lilly. Sure, if Veronica wants to push him on his back and screw his brains out he really is not going to object but she has to want to do it and right now, even though she looks sexy and enthusiastic, he can see in her eyes she does not want to go as far as she's planning on going. Logan desperately tries to find a way to tell that he doesn't want her to do this when she so obviously thinks she has to without trying to make it sound like he doesn't want her…or action for that matter.

"Hi." Logan responds breathily reaching up to run his hand along her soft cheek. "God you're beautiful." He murmurs taking in the bright blue of her eyes and the flush of her cheeks that is her only response to his compliment. Logan hasn't seen Veronica blush since the pre-Lilly days, not in that way at least, a blush that speaks of girly giddiness and warm love not of hot embarrassment. "I'm only going to say this once because they'll rescind my membership to the boys club if it gets out."  
"Oh I like the sound of this."Veronica says with amusement. She stays straddling Logan but rests more comfortably back on her heels as Logan takes a breath to work out what he wants to say.  
"I don't want you to be embarrassed around me." He starts and Veronica feels her heart speed up as she realizes the uncomfortable route this conversation could take. "I just don't want you to think you have to prove anything to me or you and I'd never want you to feel like I was forcing you to do something you didn't want to do." Veronica's jaw drops slightly and she wonders how he was able to hit the nail so directly on the head. Tiny tears of joy? Appreciation? Relief? fill her blue eyes and Logan worries momentarily over the upsurge of emotion. It is a rare event that Veronica's eyes water and he was honestly expecting a sarcastic comment accompanied by a little smile to let him know she understood and was touched. Logan automatically pulls her towards him causing her to lie prone on top of him instead of straddling him. For a moment they stay like that. Wrapped in each other's arms as Veronica realizes that she doesn't have to convince herself she trusts Logan, she truly does, and Logan wonders why his reassurance caused her eyes to mist. She slides off of him and looks up with adoration and true elation and he figures it's one of those chick things he'll never understand and settles for conjoining their noses.

"Are you ok" She smiles and nods as much as she can with the close distance between their two bodies. "Are we ok?" Logan smiles as she nestles her head into his chest and holds his hand while nodding yes against his skin. They lay there in peaceful silence for a while. Veronica allows herself to be hypnotized by the calming rise and fall of his chest and the sound of his steady heart-beat. Steady, now there's an anonym for Logan if she ever heard one. He was a roller coaster, thrilling, breath-taking, unpredictable but ultimately safe. They are each other's ups and downs but now Veronica's knows that they are also each other's seat belts. Veronica smiles to herself thinking that Logan is more steady than she gives him credit for, after all isn't the first rule of all roller coaster safety first?

"Can I ask you something?" The sound of his girlfriend's voice takes Logan out of his half-asleep daze and he smiles down at the blond head on his chest.  
"Ask away." These are the moments when he hates having a private detective for a girlfriend.  
"Your heart just sped up." Veronica laughs leaving her ear on his chest as she runs a reassuring hand across his torso. "I was just going to ask you what would happen if I were comfortable with…you know…the prequel to the Logan Echolls sexcapades?"

Veronica's POV:

"Where were you yesterday? It was the cracker-jack funeral and then boom no more Logan and Veronica." Mac says with a suggestive eyebrow raise as she greets Veronica at her locker.  
"Logan and I were…talking." In spite of being repulsed by girls who sit around and giggle about hooking up with boys Veronica can't help adding an incriminating smile at the end of her sentence.  
"Sex at a wake. I'm not sure but I think they may close the pearly gates on both of you." Mac replies with an eye-roll as they walk towards their class.  
"There was no sex." Veronica clarifies with a smile remembering the multiple ways she and Logan didn't have sex during his little break from Variety and crab puffs. "I was distracting him."  
"Yeah well I was the one distracting Duncan as he was about to call a search party for you two." Between Logan and Veronica enjoying her almost-restored faith in men and the half-asleep cuddle session afterwards, they hadn't thought about the fact that both of them disappearing for multiple hours was a little suspicious. "Don't worry, I told Duncan you had a case and had to leave early and that Logan was holed up in his room wanting to be alone for the rest of the day." Veronica exhales gratefully and turns towards her history class.  
"Thanks Mac." She waves off the thank you and cheerfully heads off to the computer lab.

When Veronica woke up this morning she knew it was going to be a bad day. None of her contacts had any information on Lynn and it was Logan's first day back since her death (real or otherwise). To make matters worse Keith got a botched lead on the entertainment lawyer he's been tracking forever putting him in a sour mood all morning. It was not the best day in the Mars house. Then again it was far from the worst.

"The answer is no, I am not pregnant. So you can quit dodging my calls and giving me your money to 'take care of it'. Oh and here's your key back. I won't be needing it anymore." The brash statement and all it implies stuns Veronica out of her pout fest and she quickly exchanges a disbelieving look with 

Wallace. Upon meeting her eyes he mouths 'file' at her and she nods grinning at her best friend's intuitiveness. Refusing to let another bad-things-happen-to-good-people scenario happen in Neptune, Veronica offers to help out Mr. Rooks. She scowls at Carrie's smug expression before stomping off in search of Logan.

The problem with being both an illicit girlfriend and a supportive girlfriend is that there isn't much Veronica can do to really be there for Logan without blowing their cover. Sure, their label as 'friends', or at least two people who are friends with Duncan and Wallace, allows for a reassuring word and the odd supportive back clap but that's not what Logan really wants from her. As much as he'll never admit it Logan needs her lace her fingers through his, give him reassuring kisses and scowl protectively at the people who look him like they're passing a car crash. He had told her a much less needy version of the previous sentiment as the cuddled in his bed. Wanting to give him something to hold on to she had kissed him all over and told him whenever he was ready to tell Duncan and everyone else she'd stand by him.

Veronica spots Logan across the hall sharing a beautifully genuine laugh with Dick. Unwilling to break his momentary reprieve, she turns away and goes to sit with Wallace.

"Hey Wallace." He dips into his pudding cup with a smile before handing me Carrie's file.  
"Hey Supafly. Where's your rich boy? I was expecting to be ignored at lunch today."  
"With Dick, probably talking about dames and horses." I say with an eye roll secretly pleased that Logan is at least trying to be social again.  
"Who Logan?" Veronica commands the flush to stop crawling up her cheeks but, since she can't, she settles for staring intently at her pastrami sandwich. "What's going on with you guys." The tension between Duncan's two friends has been palpable. Logan never insults her anymore, unless completely in jest, and Duncan can't help but remember the incident involving Dick's nose. For a brief moment he thought he heard a hint of flirtation one day when the two were verbally sparring with her and this morning he was sure he saw a hint of some unspoken intimacy when Veronica sympathetically brushed his arm. Obviously he was being ridiculous. Logan didn't go for girls like Veronica. She was too much of a challenge for him and he hasn't gone for complicated since Lilly. Even if there was a possibility she had finally enticed him to move on there was no way she would fall for the guy who treated her with such unparalleled cruelty.  
"What do you mean?" Veronica asks and Duncan breathes a little easier because her confusion seems to be genuine….Doesn't it?  
"I don't know you guys seem closer lately." Veronica doesn't miss the slight build-up of tension in his shoulders as he tries to feign nonchalance.  
"Well I am helping him with his mother's case." Veronica retorts as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. She is sure that even if they were still enemies some sort of new intimacy or reconciliation would happen if he had asked for her help with something like this.

Duncan just nods with obvious relief. There was no doubt he loved Veronica. He understood her initial hesitancy and they worked through it. People who aren't in love don't get past an incest scare. Now he 

knows it his time. She is smiling more, losing the dark cloud that used to accompany her around. There is no awkwardness when they interact.

"Duncan?" He looks up at Veronica for a moment who is giving him an odd look than just smiles admiring her beauty. Realizing this is not the place for fantasies involving Veronica Mars he quickly changes the subject.

"How is that going anyways?" Duncan and Veronica both have their own reasons for hoping Lynn is alive. Both remember Lynn the mother and family friend not Lynn Echolls the wife and movie star. Her glamour always appealed to Lilly who had made Lynn tell the tales of her scandalous young loves. Veronica had been enticed by the stories as well and Lynn quickly became the cool mom. When they were younger she let them play in the pool as long as they want and didn't yell when they dripped on the carpets. Years later she let them sample beer and wine as long as they only had one glass each and weren't planning on driving.  
"I should hear more in a few days." Duncan nods and chews his pizza thoughtfully as Veronica pours over Carrie's file with Wallace

"Any news." Logan asks urgently, sliding in beside her. Both Wallace and Duncan shoot Logan sympathetic looks but their eyes are quickly averted when Logan shoots daggers back.  
"The lady who has been clogging up the airways is giving a statement at the police station this afternoon. I'm going to go down and have a word."  
"I'll come with you." How did she know that was coming? Veronica just raises her eyebrows  
"Actually, contrary to popular belief you can't actually beat the truth out of someone." When Logan's self-control surpasses that of a raging tiger she'll take his requests seriously. Veronica is the only one who hasn't gone exceptionally easy on Logan since his mother's disappearance. Sure she was tender with him when he needed it and made a point to be more marshmallow then hard shell this week but she didn't treat him like a china doll and Logan loved it. She watched him break and she understood all she could do was ride the wave with him till he crashed again because she knows whether or not Lynn is alive a mother's abandonment gets more than one break-down.  
"I'm coming" He pushes back  
"No you are not." Wallace watches the exchange with amusement and all parties fail to notice the flicker of something a lot like jealously flash across Duncan's face. To everyone's confusion Duncan excuses himself from the table and mumbles something about journalism…which they don't have today. Logan and Veronica share a worried look before continuing to battle out whether or not Logan was going to get to watch the trailer trash give a fake interview. Logan wins, Veronica knew he was going to, and Veronica runs over to Carries and gives her the chance to renege her accusation. Carrie doesn't take it and, in Veronica's mind, this means war.

Logan casually leans against his Xterra as Veronica swings in with her LeBaron minutes later. She gives him a pointed look and he gives a resigned sigh  
"I'm getting a safe driving lecture when this is all over aren't I."  
"Yup."

The meeting was as bad as Veronica thought it was going to be and Logan took it as personally as she thought he was going to. The lying cake-faced bimbo represents everything Logan hates about the tabloids, being the son of someone famous, and the whole situation really. When he hears her snidely remark that she'll tell the magazine Lynn was drugged or beaten or whatever they wanted he shouts in her face only to be calmed by Veronica pulling him away.  
"Logan enough." She demands and he walks away letting his head rest angrily on the wall. "Finding out what that woman is about it a good thing ok?" He just nods then speeds off in his car angrily and the only thing that stops Veronica from tailing him is her knowledge that he needs space and a little time to work out exactly how much he hates life. Veronica hates seeing people in pain. She is naturally a helper, sticking up for the defenseless, making plans to right the wrongs and save the day. The fact that there is nothing she can do for Logan kills her. Instead she trembles helplessly in the sanctity of her car and leans her head on the wheel cursing the injustice of the whole situation. Did that woman ever think of the family? Lynn was a real person, someone's mother, someone's friend, she deserved better.

_flashback_

_Today has been the worst day since Lilly died. Lilly's crime scene video had somehow been leaked, the 09ers officially turned on her and Duncan did nothing to stop it. John Enbomn, another 09er, had sent her book flying all over the hallway and Logan had just laughed as she scurried to pick them up, kicking one further down the hall. The slash through her tire was the worst making escape impossible. It was even worse because she knew Logan had done it. Slashing tires isn't his usual form of torture but she knew he would have realized the worst thing he could do to her would be to prevent her from fleeing as soon as school was out.  
Unwilling to let the school see any more of her tears Veronica had half-hid herself behind a tree in the visitors parking lot knowing no students would go that way.  
"Veronica?" Veronica looks up in shock, tears still streaming down her face. Lynn's face stares down on her and Veronica quickly averts her eyes. No doubt Lynn feels the same way about the Mars family as Logan does and that is the last thing Veronica needs right now. "Veronica, what's wrong?" Lynn asks gently, turning Veronica's tear streaked face back towards herself. Keith did his best to make up for Lianne not being around but sometimes Veronica needs a mother to stoke her hair and assure her that it's not the end of the world.  
"I have a flat tire." Veronica says as though that would be enough of a reason to sob behind a tree. Seemingly able to pick up on what Veronica didn't say Lynn nods understandingly and draws Veronica in to a hug. Considering it was the first display of tenderness that came from someone who wasn't her father Veronica wasn't willing to shun it.  
"How about I give you a ride home?" Veronica nods weakly and tries not to think about the fact that this woman gave birth to the devil. _

_end flashback_

Veronica turns on the radio trying to find something else to take her mind off the Echolls. When the radio doesn't work she pulls into Mars Investigations and tries to think of a way to clear Rooks and that doesn't work either. Finally she gives up and calls Duncan.

"Hey Duncan."  
"Hey you." A warm greeting is such a change from the tone of the day. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"  
"Feel like spending guy time with Logan?"  
"Always. Wait that sounded a lot more homoerotic than I meant it to." They both chuckle a bit, his lunch time stomp-off long forgotten.  
"We interviewed the opportunistic hag today." Veronica hears Duncan sigh on the other line and she knows what he's thinking: Lynn Echolls jumped of the Coronado Bridge. "It didn't go well I just…"  
"Yeah I get it. I'll go over now" On the top 10 reasons Veronica hope things with Duncan don't change for the worst after this, he's a good friend.  
"Thanks Duncan."  
"See you tomorrow V. Let me know if I can help on either case."

Lilly's case has come to a bit of a stand-still. It was Clarence Weidman who gift-wrapped Koontz but that doesn't tell the teenagers anything they didn't know except that the Kane's feel the need to cover up the truth. There is a very small number of people someone would want to protect enough to cover-up the murder of their child. On the short list themselves or their son. Duncan loved Lilly. No scenario fits not to mention he didn't have motive. Confused and exhausted Veronica crawls into bed knowing nothing further will come of Lilly's case until she can hear her Dad's interrogation tapes.

"Morning Dad." Veronica says groggily stumbling to the kitchen.  
"Hi Honey" He replies through a bite of cereal. "Hey do you know a teacher named Rooks?" She freezes with the apple half-way to her mouth, looking back at him urgently.  
"He's my history teacher Why?"  
"Oh Good." Keith says through another mouthful of cereal, oblivious to the look discomfort and apprehension on his daughter's face. "The Bishop's hired us. Apparently he's having an affair with their daughter and they need proof for the hearing." It is a rarity at best that the Mars family disagrees on cases. Most of the stuff they deal with is pretty straight forward, cheating spouses, insurance fraud, and the kind of things that don't toe the moral line. Therefore Keith is confused, but slightly impressed, when his daughter blatantly refuses to help him on the Bishop's case before storming out in disgust. Fighting with his daughter is one of Keith's least favorite activities but if they are going to have a blow-out about something he'd rather have it be her sticking up for her convictions rather than pregnancy or drugs. So instead of dropping the case he returns to Mars Investigations fully expecting his daughter to relent, purely for curiosity sake, by the end of the school day.

Thirty minutes ago Logan kissed his girlfriend goodbye and drove back home the long way. Needless to say he is surprised to find Veronica sitting on the hood of her LeBaron outside the gate.  
"Couldn't stay away huh?" He asks with a smirk leaning down to kiss her.  
"My father is on a time-out." Veronica explains punching in his code in to the security system. She knew it all along but despite her comfort around Logan she still didn't feel that it was appropriate to just barge in, and she hated his father with a burning passion. Both return to park drive their cars up the driveway and park out front.

"What do you mean he's on a time-out?" Logan asks unlocking the front door. It was obvious to anyone who ever witnessed Keith and Veronica interact that their relationship was different than most parent-child relationships. He still didn't understand how Veronica had the authority to put Keith on a time-out and listened with pleasure at her story of stubbornly refusing to answer her Dad's phone or take messages until Mr. Rooks case was done.

"So you sent Duncan yesterday huh?" Logan says with a smirk before sinking a ball at the pool table they had started playing at.  
"Uhh…I might have mentioned that there could potentially be a need to blow up animated characters." Veronica says off-handedly trying to hit a ball. Instead of connecting with the ball she sails right beside it eliciting a headshake and a suppressed laugh from Logan as he comes behind her to line her up properly.  
"Thanks." He whispers in her ear covering her small hands with his large ones setting her up perfectly. The whole pool-game-turned-make-out-session is so overdone Veronica shouldn't even consider appreciating their proximity. Instead she hits the ball sending it perfectly into a sea of others. Logan smiles and touches his forefinger and thumb together with a little whistle.  
"Beautiful…Anyways Duncan found this when he went to get gas." Logan knows she is going to have apprehension written all over her face the moment he hands her the tabloid and he smiles at the predictability as she regards it warily. LYNN ECHOLLS ALIVE stares back at her and Veronica thinks this is a lot like watching a horror movie, the ending going to be predictable and horrifying but that's not going to stop anyone from watching the scenes play out.

"There was a woman who saw my mother get into a car with a mysterious stranger. She says my mother was laughing and having fun." The expression of joy and innocence on Logan's face right now nearly breaks Veronica's heart. He's smiling like he just found out Santa was actually real and Veronica hates it because Logan never opens himself up for disappointment like this. Veronica takes a deep breath and looks up sympathetically.  
"There's also a jungle tribe that worships Donald Trump's hair. It's a tabloid Logan." Expecting that response Logan just smirks and brushes a light kiss across her forehead.  
"What so the girl with the pig arm can't really bowl?" Logan asks sarcastically.  
"I just don't want you to get your hopes up." The very real possibility that Lynn is dead is always with Veronica even if it's not with Logan. She knows Logan and the more excited and hopeful he gets the worse the fall-out is going to be.  
"You let me worry about my hopes." Logan replies gently but firmly, pressing his forehead against hers. "She's alive Veronica, she has to be." The weight of the statement causes him to flush a little and remove his forehead from hers. Veronica's hand on his cheek causes him to lock eyes with her again. She says nothing but her look of understanding gives him more than words could anyways. "Can you track her down?" He knows she can track her down. He's really asking if still believes in his theory that, up to this point, has been based solely on his own gut feelings.  
"Of course." Moments later they leave for the coffee shop for an impromptu follow-up interview with Sandra Bolan of Sunset Springs.

About 3 questions in, Veronica realizes the woman is a deluded fan. Logan realizes it in 4 questions and stomps away. He hears Veronica come up and reluctantly touch his arm.  


"Logan?" he turns his head around and almost wants to die at the look of understanding and compassion he sees there. It's too much right now and instead of listening to her next words he storms out of the building bumping both Weevil and some nameless girl at the same time.

"Did he lose a pucka shell or something?" Weevil growls, unimpressed by the confrontation. Reluctantly, Veronica tears her eyes from the empty space her boyfriend just stormed through and looks at Weevil solemnly.  
"No, just the last ounce of hope his mother is still alive." She replies sadly before walking out to where she knows he'll be.

The cheeriness of the day seems completely inappropriate to the dejected teenager standing uncomfortably in front of his mother's grave. Logan always feels awkward at graves. In movies or whatever they talk to the headstones and sit contemplatively for a while before walking away feeling a million times better. Logan tried that once, two weeks after Lilly died but all he could think about was the way that she was decaying and that he couldn't remember exactly what she looked like. Sure he remembered what she looked like but he didn't know where every single freckle was, the exact shade of her skin tone or the precise shape of her eyebrows. So instead of feeling absolved Logan walked away feeling guilty and even more distraught at the realization little parts of Lilly would forever be elusive to him. He hasn't been back since.

The graveyard gate opens and Logan sees Veronica wander silently to Lilly's grave. He exhales in relief, there are only so many times a guy can lose it in front of his girl. Logan turns back to the grave unsure of how he even ended up here. Could she be dead? Could she really be alive? He tries to strip himself of all hopeful prejudice and think clearly. Duncan is supportive. He knows if there was a chance Lilly was alive, however slim, he would investigate until the truth came out either way. Logan can see the apprehension in his eyes though. Veronica is looking and never denies that Lynn may be alive but Logan doesn't fail to notice her increasing concern as the leads dry up. In fact, the only person who agreed with Logan's belief that Lynn was in hiding was crazy. That doesn't make him feel so hot.

_flashback_

"_Daddy where's Mom?" It was a rare event Logan's dad took him to kindergarten, as shown by him putting Logan's sneakers on the wrong feet initially, and Logan hasn't seen her all this morning.  
"What's the matter? You're too cool for your old man to drop you off?" Aaron says lunging at his son before throwing him over his shoulder playfully as Logan howls with laughter. "You mother is in Neptune."  
"Like the planet?" Aaron repositions his son so he is balanced on his hip facing at eye level. He smiles a little at the innocence of the question before beeping open his Porshe.  
"No like the city. Remember where Duncan and Lilly live?" He clarifies as he straps Logan into the car seat. "Your mother's director is being a bit of a perfectionist so they're going to be filming quite possibly till the end of time."  
"Is she coming back?" Logan asks suddenly overcome by fear and tears. Not being five years old himself, Aaron had forgotten how literarily children take things.  
"Of course Logan. It's like when you away to your friend Duncan's house for the weekend and then come _

_home." Appeased by this response Logan sniffs and runs his arm under his nose. "Mommy would never leave you forever Logan." Aaron reassures him gently before wiping the last tears of his face.  
"What about when she dies? Johnny says all parents die." Even at 5 Logan was proving to be a stoic little boy and Aaron didn't really know what to do with such an emotionally loaded question. Lynn was usually the one to deal with these things, should the need ever arise.  
"Now don't you worry about that. Mommy and I will be around for a long time." Aaron says placing a hand on Logan's head. "Now let's go to kindergarten so I can meet Johnny's parents."  
end flashback_

Mental note to self: Never promise children you will be around for a very long time and then be the cause of their mother's suicide. Logan rarely remembered the times from his Leave it to Beaver days. Oh yes, there was a time when the Echolls family was every bit the happy family they now pretend to be now. Sure, Aaron worked a lot, as did Lynn, Trina was a girl and that was a huge disappointment to a 5 yr old boy but no family is perfect. Back then their faults were simply normal family issues. Logan didn't remember when things changed for the worse, when he stopped liking his mother and only loved her, when his 'Daddy' became his 'Daddy Dearest' when Trina stopped being adorably bratty and became needlessly cruel. Firmly he shakes his head and walks over to the little blonde head staring solemnly at Lilly's headstone. It isn't going to do him any good to wax nostalgic over a time when his life was normal, pleasant even.

"…but I mean seriously you were so awful to him alive you can make it up to him in the after-life." Veronica says to the headstone imagining the Lilly from her dreams somehow heard her.  
"Does my fan club meet today?" Logan says with a smile coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. Veronica leaned back in his embrace and Logan couldn't help but think of how much things had changed since Lilly's death.

_flashback_

"_Hey lover." Logan quickly slips a shirt on at the sound of his girlfriend's voice trying to hide the evidence of his last 'discussion' with his father. "Donut says you are laming out about the bonfire and that just doesn't work for me." Lilly comments with a hair toss as she settles in to Logan's lap. On instinct, he begins caressing the expanse of skin between her shirt and low-cut jeans. The punishment was too fresh, too raw, from him to be able to completely mask his humiliation and anger. Not to mention that, in a moment of weakness, he had let a few tears trail down his face and he was sure the moisture tracks were still there.  
"Lilly have a little faith. I simply stated that Ashley is a bitch. I'm not Duncan that doesn't give me grounds to refuse free beer." Lilly simply rolls her eyes and kisses Logan before drawing back slightly.  
"God because if you lamed out…" Her jovial expression turns more pensive and she studies his face for a moment before lightly lifting his chin with a polished finger. "Baby have you been crying?" She asks with a softened voice before lightly tracing the tear tracks with her fingers then her lips. "What's wrong?"  
"Nothing gorgeous." He replies, lightly nipping her neck. "Now where were we?" The attempt at distraction doesn't fool Lilly who immediately pulls away.  
"Logan you never cry. Tell me what's going on or you'll have the worst case of blue balls ever." She _

_demands with narrowed eyes. The funny thing is she's serious. Logan knows better than to lie. They've known each other since they were 5 and dated for nearly two years.  
"Lilly just leave it." Logan exhales not bothering to take the edge of his words.  
"Logan you aren't just some guy I'm fucking you are my boyfriend. I care about you and all that shit so tell me why you are sitting here looking like somebody died." Unable to resist Logan gives her a pointed look and an eyebrow raise. A look of pure horror crosses Lilly's face and she's about to stammer out an apology but is cut off by a wave of Logan's hand.  
"It's nothing, fight with the parents you know how it is." Logan says with a bit of a shrug as if a verbal throw-down could make him cry. Something he can't quite place flashes across Lilly's face, something a lot like anger. She curls herself fully into his lap, nuzzling her forehead into the crook of his neck as she runs a hand up and down the opposing arm. It's so rare that Lilly is tender and the gesture nearly floors Logan who rests his head on hers and soaks in the comfort so rarely handed to him.  
"What can I do?" She says after a few moments of silence. Her smile turns a little devilish and she turns herself towards before giving him a long, passionate kiss. "What can I do to make it better?" She pulls Logan on top of her, fully on to the bed and promptly spends the next while making it better. Logan never noticed she made a conscious effort not to let his back hit the mattress. _

_end flashback_

Logan has many precious memories of Lilly. Some of them showed the part of her that was callous and quick-tempered, but most of them were the times she acted like the girl he loved with all his heart. That memory of Lilly, cuddled in the crook of his neck soothing his nerves patiently, was amongst his favorite. But that's all they were, memories and although Logan accepted that a while ago it wasn't until he stood in front of Lilly's grave with Veronica, kissing the top of her head, that he was ok with it.  
"Are you ok?" I ask quietly, brushing a fallen tear away from her cheek. They weren't being very careful with their 'secret' but Lilly's grave was secluded and they could always use the emotional upheaval of the whole situation as an excuse if necessary.  
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Veronica asks with a little shudder remembering the horrid scene in the café. As expected, Logan just shrugs nonchalantly and plays with something in his pocket.

The day before the whole Yolanda situation Lilly had shoved her bubblegum pink lip-gloss in Logan's jacket pocket because she had left her purse in her locker. Lilly had a dozen tubes of her signature lipgloss and the tube was promptly forgotten. It wasn't until days after her death, that Logan reached in to his pocket to grab, what he thought was a pen, and came up with pink, sparkly lip-gloss. It hasn't left Logan's side since.

Casually Logan reaches in his pocket and takes out the old container of lip-gloss. He softly rolls it around in his hand before shakily placing it beside Lilly's headstone.  
"Goodbye Lil." He whispers softly, acknowledging the finality of the gesture. Memories of silky hair, tequila shooters, PDAs, their own forms of tenderness delivered in a way only each other understood, secrets and future hopes all flood back as Logan shares one last moment with the first girl who managed to take his breath away. He stands with a smile and holds his hand out to the first girl he kissed without thinking of Lilly Kane.

"You ready?" Veronica nods and gives his hand a squeeze before forcing herself to drop it in case of being spotted. Part of her, the one who needs to know all answers, desperately needs to know what the significance of a tube of Lilly's lip-gloss is. But she knew that moment was for Logan and Lilly and she won't intrude on it.

Logan watches with amusement as Veronica storms away from Carrie shoving a track picture in her face. Naturally he's about to make a quip but at the last second he notices something by her ear.  
"Veronica." He leans casually against her locker leaning forward to inspect the offending spot further. "You have blue behind your ears."  
"I'm going to kill my Dad." She growls reaching deep in her locker for a make-up kit. "I tried to steal Carrie's diary and my Dad but an ink bomb, AN INK BOMB, in the safe." There is nothing Logan can do to suppress the laughter and moments later they are both snickering in the hallways. It's stupid and thats why it's so perfect. Logan's mom is probably dead, Carrie is setting up Rooks, they are supposed to simply be acquaintances and definitely not supposed to be losing it in the middle of the hallway.

"What's so funny?" The voice of reason, or at least of Duncan Kane, stops them and they both look up guiltily.  
"Veronica had ink on her ear." Logan says in means of explanation and they both start laughing again because the whole situation is so absurd. The look of confusion, jealousy and something else of Duncan's face is enough to sober them though and for a moment the three of them just stand awkwardly.  
"Here." Duncan takes a Kleenex pact out of his backpack and wipes gently at another forgotten line below her chin. The scene holds that everyday romance and tenderness Duncan used to bring to the relationship and Veronica freezes and connects eyes with Logan as Duncan swabs at her cheek. Surprisingly Logan doesn't look jealous or angry he just looks…amused.  
"Prince Charming saves the day." He dead pans getting an aggravated look from both Veronica and Duncan. "Call me later if you need a sponge bath." Logan continues, adjusting his books before giving a mock salute and walking away.

"Did you hear about Rooks?" Duncan conversationally .  
"She's lying." The disgust in Veronica's voice isn't hidden and Duncan can't help but wonder if her hatred of a Carrie has a colorful back story like Logan's.  
"Rooks is a creep. Lilly said he hit on her." Veronica laughs a bit as they head to English.  
"Lilly also said Aaron Echolls hit on her. I think she mistook conversation for flirting." Duncan remembers that day well. Lilly had ran through the front door, stood in front of the TV and proclaimed to Duncan, with a mixture of pride and disgust, that Aaron had totally tried to get in her pants. Being Lilly, she recovered quickly but the inappropriateness of the entire situation was never lost on Duncan who never let Lilly, or Veronica for that matter, alone in the Echolls estate. Duncan is about to make some comment about it being plausible but the teacher is talking and Veronica is taking notes rapidly.

"Jesus" Veronica exclaims when an arm reaches out of the janitor's closet and pulls her in to the tiny space  
"I prefer Logan. God and I aren't getting along these days." Logan quips before devouring her in a kiss.  
"Mmm apparently not." Veronica mumbles in agreement. Considering Logan usually blows her interactions with Duncan way out of proportion she can't help but note that he is being exceptionally calm.  
"You're not mad about Duncan?" She finally asks minutes later.  
"Oh now you want me fighting for you?" Logan says, smirking at the blonde in his arms.  
"No…but you acted mature. Last time I checked you don't like to share your toys." Instead of replying he hoists her up so she is sitting on one of the shelves and kisses down her neck.  
"Hm well...first of all you are not a toy." She's a little impressed that he can make cute little comments while he barely lets his lips leave her collarbone. "second of all I am not sharing anything." The familiar possessive tone causes Veronica to smile and he stops kissing her long enough to look her in the eyes and bump their noses together. "Third of all I trust you." The bell for class rings just as his hand lays under her shirt and they both groan. He opens his mouth to speak but is cut off by Veronica.  
"We are not skipping class Echolls." They quickly check that the coast is clear and run off to their classrooms without further acknowledgement.

Logan amazes Veronica, not because he could kiss her with enough passion to make her forget that a world outside of their lips existed, not even because he could pick up on her hidden insecurities and calm them without question. No, Logan amazes Veronica because he still has the ability to trust. His father probably loves him, Veronica can't imagine a world where a father doesn't instinctively love his son, but that love was cancelled out by dislocated shoulders and cigarette burns. His mother did her best for a while but she couldn't keep Logan safe and, ultimately, that is what children expect of their parents. To be kept safe from the dangers of the world. So the two people designed by nature to protect Logan let him down monumentally yet he still has the ability to trust Veronica.

"HI Honey." Veronica looks up to her Dad from her plate of cooling lasagna. "Something on your mind you've been staring at the food like it's a work of literature for the past 20 minutes."  
"Logan." She says with a little smile. Keith loves his daughter. Logan, well let's just say love would be putting it a bit strong. He had their qualms when they first started dating remembering the times Veronica would come home in tears because of something he said or did. So when he found his daughter wrapped around Logan making out in the middle of Mars Investigations he was so shocked all he said was _Logan…Veronica…Ok. _Needless to say it wasn't a very stern treat-my-daughter-well-or-else talk. The worst part is that his past treatment of her isn't his prime concern. Logan has more issues than National Geographic, is known to be violent and Veronica looks at him lie he is the key to her happiness. The thing that scares Keith the most is he might just be.  
"How's he doing?" The guys going to be around awhile Keith figures he should probably take an interest.  
"Really wanting his mother to be alive." Veronica responds with a heavy sigh. It wasn't hard to tell that Veronica made some extra money on the side taking cases for her high school friends along with her Mars Investigation stake-outs. Truth be told Keith would rather Veronica deal who-stole-my-pom-poms cases instead of adultery and espionage. Keith knew Veronica felt something big for Logan when she had 

walked into Keith's office and demanded he help in any way he could. So he had spent hours tracking down old relatives, finding vacation properties and convincing his bank contacts to put notices on all of Lynn's credit cards. Upon finding nothing Keith reached the same conclusion Veronica seems to slowly be coming to. Lynn Echolls is dead.  
"Maybe you should just leave it honey." The worst part of this business is doing favors for friends and telling them answers that they don't want to hear. Veronica's head shots up and before she can attack Keith breaks in. "I'm just saying, this is probably making it harder for Logan." At the mention of her boyfriend Veronica's face softens from anger to concern and Keith thinks that this boy is definitely staying for a while.  
"He needs to know for sure. If I drop it I'm letting him down." Keith knows what that means. Veronica will have Lynn Echolls on the back burner until they find a body or find her alive  
"Yeah I understand honey."

Veronica slings her arm around Wallace happily as they walk into school.  
"Rooks didn't do it." She says in explanation of her attitude. "Weevil has information for Logan. Today is a good day my friend." Wallace smiles at the look of joy on his usually serious best friend's face. Between Lilly's case being very frustratingly on hold and Lynn's death Veronica has spent more time scowling and thinking than almost anything else. Not to mention Duncan was bound to notice the fact she only really lit up around Logan these days.  
"What's this about Rooks?" Wallace asks trying not to think about his girl and Logan.  
"Carrie was at a track meet in Sacramento the night she and Rooks supposedly slept together." Veronica's pride seems forgotten and Wallace looks over his shoulder to see Logan approaching.

"Hey." He nods at Wallace before looking at Veronica and giving a softer "Hi." School is always awkward for them. They can't hold hands or exchange mid-sentence kisses, little acts that have become so imperative to their relationship.  
"Weevil has news for you." Veronica says with a smile as she adjusts her textbooks. The fact that Logan can't reach out and grab them is driving him nuts . "I'm not sure what it is…if it's good or bad or whatever." Veronica continues quickly not wanting Logan to get overly excited in case it's nothing. It's obvious the little nod Logan gives is just to appease her and he looks so adorable she can't help but lean in.  
"I hear the main bathroom will be out of order in about 10 minutes." She whispers suggestively before walking to class without a second glance.  
"Dude you need to pick your jaw up off the floor." Wallace comments, cuffing Logan on the back of the head. To infuriate him more Logan gives him a smile and a little wink only get an uncomfortable shiver in return.

Veronica's phone rings moments after their make-out session ends and she thinks it's a good think she has stake-outs to study in because she never works in study hall.  
"Yo V it's Weevil. I've got the kid Hart."  
"Ok what does he know."  
"Say's he's got a video of Lynn Echolls jumping." The mood of the day abruptly shifts here and Veronica leans her back on the counter, distressed. Great Logan's hopes coming back to punch him in the face.  


"Can you meet me by my locker with the kid and the disk?"  
"Sure thing V."

Moments later she is with Weevil, who conveniently has her spare, and some freshman Weevil yanked out of class.  
"Thanks Weevil I just don't want other people around when he watches this." Veronica looks down at the distressed looking freshman.  
"This better never make it out into public consumption." Being in the business long enough Veronica is fairly certain that this isn't Hart's only copy of the disc and she doesn't want Lynn's suicide public domain. It is the least she can do for the woman she once looked up to.  
"Don't worry about my boy Hart here. He knows if that happens his last performance will be a snuff film, and he'll star in it." Weevil menacingly tightens his grip on the back of the kid's neck and he nods mutely, his face full of fear.

"I need to talk to you." It took her 5 painful minutes to find Logan at lunch and a few seconds of contemplating whether or not to do this.  
"There you are. I was trying to find you so we could talk to Weevil." Logan doesn't miss her briefly squeezing her eyes shut in pain. Veronica motions towards a classroom and Logan enters skeptically.  
"I did talk to Weevil." She begins gently and Logan feels his stomach clench painfully. "This is a video of your mother…" The sentence is to awkward to complete and Logan gets the implications anyways starring at the disc in her hand.  
"Did you watch it?" Veronica nods solemnly. "Is it her? I mean are you sure?" Logan says in pained disbelief.  
"You can't see her face. But you can clearly see a white figure falling and it's time-stamp is spot on."  
Logan sinks back on to a ledge in disbelief and Veronica sits down beside him and intertwines their fingers.  
"I want to see it."  
"I figured you say that." Veronica says with a sigh, jumping off the ledge and opening up her laptop to reveal the video qued and ready. "Are you sure?" Logan just nods standing behind her and Veronica only hesitates momentarily before pressing play. Lynn falls into the ocean and Logan lets out a pained gasp despite the shock. He stumbles a little and Veronica quickly reaches out a steadying arm and gently leads him back to sit on the ledge before locking the classroom door.

"Logan I am so sorry." Veronica says quickly as she stands in between his legs.  
"Me too." He says wearily, letting his upper body sag against the wall. The numb and shock are still preventing him from fully processing the situation so she wraps a hand in his and waits calmly for realization to set in. Moments later Veronica's phone rings breaking the silent intimacy. She goes to press ignore but freezes seeing it's a notification from Lynn's bank.

"Logan there was just a charge on your mother's credit card." His face slowly morphs from despair to hope.  
"She's alive." He whispers in awe and for once Veronica is really, truly happy with the situation because dead people don't use credit cards.  


"It looks that way." She knows she's being a little premature but she can't help but breathe a little easier knowing there is great chance Lynn is out there. "Ok boyfriend you go learn something. Come over later to see her print out. I have a trail to attend."

Hours later Logan is still caught between careful hope and wary apprehension. Impatiently he paces around the Mars apartment. Veronica assured him Keith was out for most of the night and told him to let himself in with the spare key. Despite her insistence that he make himself at home, Logan can't help but stare at the door in fear the Sheriff Mars was going to come rampaging in demanding to know what the hell he was doing in his apartment. He is rolling around on the floor with Back-up when an angry slam causes him to shoot up.  
"He did it!" Veronica says red-faced and angry before taking a deep swig of water from the fridge. "That bastard did it."  
"Who did what?" Logan asks noting with satisfaction that the look of unfiltered rage on her face has't been directed at him for a while.  
"Rooks is guilty." If there is one thing Veronica despises it's being wrong and Logan doesn't get in her way when she storms past to get ice cream. "It was Susan Knight he slept with and gave money to." She says in disbelief before taking a spoonful of ice cream out of the jar and pointing at him with the spoon. "You know I fell for his whole routine. It was all he's a good teacher, a free thinker then BAMN there are the black silk sheets." _Wait how does she know…  
_"Did he touch you?" Logan growls realizing the only way to know the color of someone sheets is to see them. Surprise registers on Veronica's face and Logan, in his anger, misreads it. "I'm going to pound his face in." Logan isn't sure if he is about to grab his car keys and go pound Mr. Rooks' face in or hold Veronica and never let her go. Realizing he can't leave her alone he is about to call Weevil, yes Weevil the guy can inflict the most damage, and get him and his biker gang to take care of Mr. Rooks. A little giggle stops him.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't be laughing at you." Veronica says sobering quickly. "He didn't touch me Logan. He didn't even try." Logan exhales gratefully and is still tempted to beat up Rooks for almost giving him heart attack. They lie on the couch watching one of Keith's old detective movies as waiting, impatiently, for the fax to come in. It isn't long until both exhausted teenagers are fast asleep on the couch. Veronica's head buried in the cotton of Logan's shirt as both his arms encase her protectively.

Needless to say this is an awkward situation for Keith to walk into.  
"Traitor." He mumbles at a Back-up who is also asleep by Logan's head. What to do? These are the moments where he really misses Leanne. Personally, he wants to grab Logan by the scruff of the neck and ask him what he thinks he is doing pawing his daughter's hip. He settles, instead, for gently shaking the boy's shoulder

"Logan." Keith says quietly so as not to disturb his daughter. The peace Logan's face had in sleep molds in to horror at being caught in such a position and Keith can't help but find the situation amusing. The appropriately nervous expression on Logan's emotion-weary face causes Keith to feel a pang of sympathy for the kid who lost his girlfriend and his mother in the space of a year. "Go home and get some sleep son." He says surprised at the gentleness in his voice. Logan nods blearily then leans down 

and picks up Veronica. The look of Veronica contentedly letting her head rest on Logan's shoulder as he quietly carries her to her room is enough to make Keith want to re-evaluate his position on Logan. Instead, Keith watches them silently from the door to his own room

"Logan?" Veronica mumbles, half-asleep as Logan pulls a large comforter over her.  
"Goodnight baby go to sleep." He whispers in response kissing her forehead.  
"Tell my father I like you too much for him to shoot you." She says with a sleepy smile. "G'night". Veronica's breaths even out before Logan has even left the room. The sight of Keith in the hallway makes Logan nervous enough to want to wake the sleeping girl behind him so he doesn't get shot. For a moment he wonders if Keith heard Veronica's request not to bring out the gun. Not that he would ever admit it but Logan always liked Keith Mars. He was smart, funny and obviously loved his family. Oh no there was no belts or harsh words in the Mars family just goodnight kisses and fond hair ruffles. Logan's admiration of Keith died with the release of the crime scene video and his attack of Jake Kane. Needless to say it's a little awkward now when Logan's figures Keith is probably right and probably hates Logan not to mention the fact that Logan is definitely dating Keith's daughter.

"Mr. Mars." Logan says with a head nod.  
"Logan." There is an awkward pause and Logan considers apologizing. After all the man did lose his job standing up for the love of Logan's life and all Logan did was back Jake Kane up in the only post-Lilly interview he gave. Realizing that he took long enough to apologize to Veronica Logan starts quickly.  
"I'm uh sorry for the whole Jake Kane sheriff's department thing." Keith looks a little taken aback but Logan continues on, encouraged by the slight softening of Keith's eyes. "I can be pretty dumb sometimes." Keith puts a hand on Logan's shoulder and is momentarily surprised by the flinch. A mix of apprehension and humiliation crawl up Logan's cheeks and Keith pieces the Echolls family puzzle together with stunning clarity. Aaron Echolls film star, public benefactor and child abuser. Instead of pressing the topic Keith just gives Logan's shoulder a friendly squeeze and gives the boy a smile.

"Don't worry about it Logan. My reputation is so bad I barely allow me to socialize with myself." This gets a laugh from both parties and a tentative understanding is formed.  
"So we're cool."  
"If that's what you kids are calling it these days." Keith watches Logan go thoughtfully before the sound of Lynn Echolls credit report being faxed through interrupts his raging internal debate.

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**Thanks to all reviewers so far I really appreciate you taking the time and effort to write a comment. **


	15. What he don't know won't hurt him

Season 1 Episode 14: What he doesn't know won't hurt him

Episode Guide: Dick saves the day, a secret is spilled and family-ties are tested.

The halls are filled with excited chit-chat and gossip about the upcoming dance. The giggles and blithe spirit are lost on the two teenagers in the middle of the quad who are intently pouring over a credit report. The bell rings and Veronica promises to tell Logan when the card-holders signature comes through before scurrying off, trying her best to keep up appearances.

"Hey Veronica." Logan says suddenly, grabbing her arm before she can head to class. For a brief moment Veronica panics trying to convey with her eyes that this is not the place for them to be touching. "Thanks, you know, for helping out with this." The shinning sincerity in his eyes makes any pretense of anger fly away from Veronica and she nods gently.  
"I know what it's like." It's a rare event that Logan and Veronica talk about her mother but it was no secret the pain her leaving gave Veronica. A couple walks by holding hands and Logan gives them a longing look. He hates sneaking around, only kissing Veronica in smelly janitor's closets or under bleachers as if she is something to be ashamed of. Sure the hidden relationship premise seems romantic but it's getting old for both of them. He sees Duncan in the decorated gym ordering people around to get ready for the dance.  
"Let's tell him now." Springing this on him while he is in the middle of organizing the mother of all school activities may not be the best idea Logan's had but he's tired of hiding.  
"I forgot my protective armor." Veronica mumbles sarcastically. To be honest, she thinks they are blowing this declaration way out of proportion. Duncan has many options girl-wise and Veronica isn't conceited enough to think he spent over a year pining after her.

"Hey DK." Duncan looks up from his clipboard and smiles warmly. No, Duncan Kane is not the love of Veronica's life, but she still cares about him. Whether or not they were dating Duncan has been an instrumental part of Veronica's life since Lilly pushed them together years earlier.

_flashback_

"_Ve-ron-i-ca, he likes you, you like him I really don't see the issue here." Lilly says bored with her friend's incessant nattering over Duncan. Veronica twirls the end of her long, blonde hair thoughtfully. "Just go up and kiss him that's what I did with Logan."  
"Logan isn't Duncan Lilly."  
"That would be twisted on so many levels." Lilly says throwing Veronica a disgusted look. "Ok you know what I've had enough of this crap I want fun Veronica back not pouty Veronica." She grabs Veronica's wrist and pulls her off the bed.  
"Lilly where are you taking me." She doesn't respond but she throws the door open to Duncan's bedroom. Duncan looks up from his computer surprised than looks away quickly when he meets Veronica's eye. God he's been doing that for the past week. Before it was all normal and now it's all awkward.  
"Donut you like Veronica." Duncan flushes to the tips of his ears and is about to say something when Lilly cuts him off. "Veronica you like Donut for whatever reason." Veronica's own face soon matches the tomato red of Duncan's. "Ok since you two are obviously incapable of doing anything without me I am _

_officially making you a couple…happy?"  
"Lil –" Duncan starts but it immediately cut off by his sister.  
"Duncan you like her don't you?" This is so awkward. Duncan looks at Veronica with an unsure smile and nods sheepishly. "And she's been pining away for you for the past friggin week and it's getting on my nerves so Duncan be a gentleman and ask her out." Duncan laughs in spite of himself and looks at the pretty blonde.  
"Veronica would you like to go out on a date with me?" Veronica laughs as well and Lilly squeals with delight when the younger girl nod.  
"Ok Duncan, V and I need to have real girl talk now and you need to call Logan and gloat or piss in a circle or whatever you boys do."  
end flashback  
_

"Too much glitter?" Duncan's voice cuts in to Veronica's memory and she looks up momentarily confused by the comment.  
"Huh?"  
"You've been staring into space for the last few seconds." Duncan looks between both friends expectantly. "Is everything ok?  
"Yes." The word is out of both of their mouths too quickly to be true and Duncan's confusion deepens.  
"Uh…we kind of need to talk to you" Logan says tightly before looking around at the other student council members. "Privately"

They head to a small classroom beside the gym and Veronica wants to fast-forward 4 minutes to when the explanations are finished and Duncan is laughing at Logan's secretive nature.  
"So…" The tense silence is broken by Duncan who is trying to conquer up some scenario that would make them look this grim. A break in Lilly's case perhaps?  
"Veronica and I are…dating." Logan says with a twinge of apprehension in his voice. All hope that Duncan would shrug the news off evaporates when his face darkens and he stares at Logan with maniacal coldness. The look on Duncan's face catches Veronica by surprise and she is about to jump in to explain, apologize, or find some way to salvage the friendship Logan treasures most. Before she can speak Duncan flies at Logan sending them both flying to the ground.

Completely thrown off-guard, Logan doesn't block the punch to his nose.  
"Duncan I'm not going to fight you." Logan yells. He doesn't punch Duncan; that would rub salt in the wound, instead he tries to shove him off.

"Duncan stop it you're hurting him." Veronica says as calmly as she can. Ignoring Logan's hand which is frantically waving her back, Veronica walks towards the brawl starting to sprint when she finds Duncan's fingers wrapped firmly around Logan's throat. "DUNCAN LET GO." Veronica doesn't even notice the fact that she sounds like a hysterical teenager as she tries to loosen Duncan fingers from Logan's neck. Her boyfriend makes a choking noise and the pale tint of his face makes Veronica's heart rate increase. "DUNCAN STOP IT." Suddenly the door bursts open to reveal Dick Casablancas who just stares at the scene in confusion wondering which of the two friends he should be defending.  


"Dick help me." Veronica exclaims finally cluing Dick in to the fingers around Logan's throat. Immediately, Dick tackles Duncan off Logan.  
"DK what the fuck!" Dick exclaims and Veronica rushes over to Logan who is sitting on the floor rubbing his neck facing away from Duncan. Veronica quickly drops to her knees and raises a hand to Logan's face.

"Are you ok?" He nods weakly and Veronica looks over Logan's shoulder to Duncan slumped on the ground unconscious. "Duncan?" Still on her knees Veronica slides over to her ex-boyfriend. Trying to forget the fact he just tried to strangle Logan, she turns him over and rests his head on her lap.

"Logan call an ambulance." She says quickly when Duncan doesn't respond to her hand on his brow. "Dick get the nurse." Both boys look concerned for their friend and immediately go about their tasks. Logan keeps a wary eye on Duncan as he sputters instructions in to the phone.  
"Duncan can you hear me?" Veronica tries again gently delivering a few soft slaps on his cheeks. Immediately his eyes flicker open and both Veronica and Logan exhale gratefully.

"V-Veronica?" He stutters as if he doesn't understand the situation at all.  
"Yeah I'm right here." It seems as though some memories come back as he focuses more clearly on Veronica's face.  
"What happened? Did I hurt you?" Both Logan and Veronica share a look of concern when they realize Duncan doesn't remember. Logan rubs the hand print on his neck and stares out the window thoughtfully as Veronica turns back to Duncan.  
"I'm fine, everyone's fine." Veronica soothes in an attempt to side-step the awkward question of what happened. "You might want to bake your BFF some cookies though." Her attempt to lighten the mood doesn't work and Duncan's face scrunches in panic.  
"Logan? What happened? Is he ok?" The whole scenario just makes Veronica want to puke and she is beyond grateful that the EMTs pick that moment to show up and strap Duncan to a stretcher. "Is Logan ok?" He asks again. Logan is just out of Duncan's view staring out the window, looking pale with the imprints of two large hands on his neck and blood oozing from his nose. No would be the honest answer.

"I'm fine DK" Logan forces a smile on his face and his voice breaks a little on the end. Veronica wonders briefly why the nurse is handing over a fat file to the emergency technicians. Before she can contemplate it anymore Duncan is being wheeled away and both Logan and Veronica are left in the darkened classroom.

"What the fuck just happened?" Dick asks in absolute confusion. Logan just shrugs helplessly and sits facing away from both Dick and Veronica as he remembers the feel of Duncan's hands on his throat. It was surreal at that moment he was sure he was going to die because Duncan's face morphed into Aaron's and Veronica's call for help resembled his mother. Duncan just almost killed him over a girl. "I mean are you guys like dating now?" Veronica mumbles yes mostly to get Dick out of the room, and walks over to Logan who is still deep in thought. Instinctively, he reaches out for her and pulls her in tight as she rests her head on his large shoulder. It's unclear if he is trying to comfort her or himself but the act manages to do both.

"Are you ok?" He whispers in her ear realizing she is still shaking slightly from the encounter. She just nods and leans away to inspect his face.  
"Yeah. C'mon, let's get you cleaned up at the nurse's station." Veronica says tenderly running her finger alongside his bloody nose. Instead of agreeing Logan shakes his head and wipes the blood off his nose with his sleeve.  
"Let's just go to the hospital. I'm sure they'll spare me a gauze pad." The blank look and monotone that Logan has just adopted makes Veronica even more worried. When he takes Veronica's hand in the middle of the hall-way it seems slightly anti-climactic. Both are in their own little bubble wondering about Duncan when Madison flounces up, flanked by Shelley and Pam.

"What is this?" She demands gesturing between the two worn out teenagers. Normally Logan would delight in telling off Madison and he had been waiting for the day he got to defend Veronica to his friends and force them to see the amazing woman he saw. Unfortunately right now he was tired, sore and angry.

"What does it look like Madison?" Logan says with an eye-roll. "Look if you have a problem with my girlfriend then you're free to walk out of my life." The comment comes out with more sting than Logan meant it too and Madison steps back, a little stunned by the gesture. "That pretty much goes for everyone here. IF you have a problem with Veronica you are pretty much dead to me so just like, I dunno evaporate of something." Despite the situation Veronica can't help a small smile from playing at her lips as Madison and her flunkies stare at him in shock. "An ambulance just drove away and really all you can think about is who I am dating? Seriously do you have a…"  
"Logan…" Veronica cuts in to his tirade and squeezes his hand in a placating manner. Both his rage and his frustration are understandable to her but she doesn't want it poured in the middle of the hallway where anyone can twist his words. "Duncan needs us right now." She says calmly when he doesn't back away from Madison. Knowing that seeing Duncan is more important than reenacting a Springer show with Madison, he lets Veronica take his hand and tug him to the Xterrra.

The silence is uncomfortable, both parties desperately trying to figure out what compelled Duncan, who is usually calm and rational and everything that does not equal physical violence, to attack his best friend. Sure, a punch might have happened if Duncan was feeling especially peevish and dramatic but strangulation was taking the pissing contest a little far. Logan has barely looked from the road the entire time. They haven't shared a word since Madison's confrontation and Veronica's pretty sure the only reason he is holding her hand is because he is too numb to let it go. The car is parked but just before Logan jumps out Veronica puts a hand on his forearm.

"Thanks."  
"For what." He replies listlessly.  
"For what you said to Madison." This doesn't evoke a reaction.  
"It was nothing."  
"It was something to me." Logan just sighs a little and nods before getting out of the Xterra. Veronica lengthens her stride to catch up and he immediately slows and takes her hand, brushing a kiss over his girlfriend's knuckles before they enter.

"Duncan Kane." Logan says to a pretty nurse working the front entrance.  
"Are you family?"  
"Yes" Logan says without hesitation. The nurse looks up at him and Logan stares back, daring her to defy him.  
"Room 807. Let me get a doctor for your nose." Logan shakes his head no and says something about how it's not broken. Experience has taught him these things. Nevertheless Veronica takes him in to the bathroom and softly dabs the blood away from his face with a paper towel.

"Are you sure you don't want some ice?" Veronica asks again noticing the slight swelling. Stubbornly, Logan refuses and Veronica doesn't want to fight him right now so she lets him drag her to Duncan's room.

"Maybe I should just wait out here." Logan mumbles gesturing to a small waiting area outside Duncan's room. Considering he was the one who hurried her here Veronica just gives him a questioning look "I'm guessing I'm not the first person he wants to see." Veronica notices the deep sadness flicker across Logan's face before he puts on his mask of indifference. With a small sigh she walks over to him and wraps her arms around his waist. If their relationship is going to survive they are going to have to stop putting on masks in front of each other.  
"Logan he'll want to see you." She pleads. Logan just shakes his head, refusing Veronica's offer of support. He is Logan Echolls he didn't need people. Instead of looking in to the face of his disappointed girlfriend he flexes and unflexes his fist watching her enter his best friend's room out of the corner of his eye.

Duncan is pale and tossing fitfully in his sleep. A long IV is connected to the back of his hand pumping one powerful drug or another through his system. Habitually, Veronica scans the room for any information on his condition. Realizing there is none, she pulls a plastic chair beside his bed and gently takes his hand in hers. The contact immediately wakes Duncan who glances sideways at her before turning his eyes up to the ceiling and swallowing a lump in his throat.

"How are you feeling?" The genuine concern in Veronica's voice makes the whole situation worse and only adds to Duncan's humiliation. What kind of person tries to strangle their best friend?  
"Fine" The terse reply causes Veronica to release his clammy hand. She is sitting there, waiting him out. Duncan can tell by the set of her jaw she isn't going anywhere until he knows everything. It's obvious to Duncan that she knows his attack on Logan was not intentional. If she thought for a moment it was she wouldn't be here all gentleness and worry, in fact she wouldn't be here at all. "How's Logan?" He croaks finally remembering the cause of the whole episode.  
"Worried about you." Veronica answers honestly. The kind tone in her voice causes Duncan to look at her again. "He didn't think you'd want to see him." Duncan eyes flit back to the ceiling again. "What's going on Duncan?" She asks after a few minutes of drawn out silence.  
"It's nothing.' Duncan snaps a little harder than he meant to.  
"Nothing?! Duncan you just attacked Logan. He is sitting out there completely torn-up, hurt and confused because his best friend tried to strangle him." A momentary pang of regret curses through Veronica as Duncan shuts his eyes in pain, obviously horrified by the memory. "Duncan, talk to me 

please." For one horrifying moment it feels like she is back at the Kane mansion begging him to tell her where Lilly was. "We care about you Duncan, so much. Let us be there for you." Veronica isn't used to admitting she cares about people and the gentle words come out whiney rather than supportive. The sincerity isn't lost on Duncan though. Something about the statement gets through to him and a trail of moisture leaks from his eye soundlessly.

"I have type IV epilepsy." His voice is so quiet Veronica can barely hear it. Quickly, she forces her shock and confusion down and reaches over to wipe the tear off his face. It was her who forced him to spill what was obviously a very well kept secret and she doesn't want to be another reason for his discomfort.  
"Ok." Her voice as stronger than his and she keeps it level in an attempt to convey her acceptance and understanding. "So what does that mean exactly?" Duncan sighs shutting his eyes momentarily. Trusting Veronica has never been an issue. Over a year of dating taught him that she could keep a secret but he doesn't want her looking at him differently, treating him with the same annoying care his mother does. Noticing his reluctance, Veronica takes his hand again and gives it an encouraging squeeze. There's no point in lying to her, Duncan knows this. If he doesn't tell her she'll shimmy in to the doctor's office and pluck his file herself. Might as well hear it straight from the horse's mouth.  
"It's like I have these fits sometimes." Veronica's expression doesn't change and she just gives a little nod of acknowledgment to urge him on. "I take medication so they're rare but…" He trails off at the end and neither needs the sentence finished.  
"So early on in the year when you were sick that day at my apartment…" Veronica quizzes remembering when Duncan fell asleep haggard and pale on her couch.  
"No." The innocent questioned opens a new can of worms "I was going cold turkey off anti-depressants." The previously neutral expression on Veronica's face turns to one of sympathy, confusion and a little indignation.  
"Duncan, why wouldn't you just tell us?" She demands incredulously before remembering her own secrets and softening her tone. "I mean going cold turkey off anti-depressants? That couldn't have been easy. We could have helped you". There definitely wasn't anything easy about going off the anti-depressants. A few days of nausea, visions of Lilly that seemed so real he ended up in tears when the illusion broke and he had to accept her death all over again, and dreams that made a Nightmare on Elm Street seem like child's play. In fact, Duncan is pretty sure the only reason he didn't go back to the drugs was the traffic ticket: a tangible piece of evidence that did not fit with the timeline, which threw everything off. Thinking back Duncan realizes it would have been nice to have Veronica soothe away the images of Lilly or to have Logan simply dump the bottle of pills down the toilet wordlessly before whipping out video games. Duncan hadn't told Veronica because, in her mind, he was still the Golden Boy. The Kane heir that managed to walk away from disaster unscathed and, to be honest, it was nice to have someone like Veronica think so highly of him even after the crap he put her through. Telling Logan wasn't an option. Even without the investigation taking weird twists Logan would have thrown out the bottle of pills and yelled at Duncan until they both had migraines. Logan hated drugs, all drugs with a passion, something, Duncan is sure, Lynn is to thank for.

"Logan's outside. Can I get him for you?" Duncan nods wordlessly struggling to keep the emotion off his face.

Logan breathes a little easier when Veronica exits the room looking pensive and tired but not afraid or exceptionally upset. His nose is fine now, sore, but fine, but the feel of Duncan's hands wrapped tightly around his throat still remains fresh. There was no doubt that Duncan would have killed Logan, squeezed his neck shut until Logan finally sputtered and stopped breathing. It was worse than anything Aaron has ever done to him. Not more painful but Duncan was Logan's safe place. He is the guy who grabs his car keys when Logan tries to drink his weight in alcohol, who nonchalantly gave him the pass code to the Kane estate and simply said to come over whenever, who never let Hector get a decent punch in the day the tabloid pictures decorated Logan's locker.

Instead of forcing Logan to go in Veronica simply sits him down and tells him gently about the epilepsy. Logan feels guilty when he breathes a sigh of relief but he'd rather have a friend with a barely noticeable mental tick rather than a friend who would voluntarily try to kill him.  
"Is he ok now?"  
"Ask him yourself Logan." It's hard to think of what to say to a guy who just tried to kill you, especially when that person is your best friend. Veronica just smiles sympathetically and points to the door before sitting down herself in the waiting room, ending the debate.

Duncan just keeps his eyes fixed on the wall when Logan enters. As close as the boys were neither one was really good at the touchy-feely crap. The fact that hospitals freak the shit out of Logan isn't helping matters and Duncan can't help but smirk when Logan eyes the medical supplies like they might come alive and chop him to pieces.  
"I'm flattered you braved the big, bad hospital to come see me." When in doubt and dealing with Logan, quip. Logan's only response is to fake a smile and cross his arms defensively. It's at that moment Duncan wonders how he missed the obvious signs they were together. The arm crossing that mirrors Veronica's, the vicious attack on Dick, Veronica never seeming to leave the Echolls residence after she heard of Lynn, their subtle nuances have rubbed off on each other.  
"Yeah well you could say I was a bit miffed by the afternoon's activity." It's obvious Logan really wants to deflect the situation with humor but Duncan can tell his hearts not into it. He's hurt and confused, plain and simple. "Epilepsy Duncan?" Logan continues disbelievingly but not harshly "Why didn't you say anything? It's not like you have some rare, contagious penis eating fungus." The idea is so ridiculous that Duncan laughs despite the situation.  
"I wasn't aware that existed." Duncan says with a smile before taking a deep breath and sobering again. "Celeste didn't want people finding out." This does it for Logan. He has stood by Duncan with unwavering loyalty since Duncan stopped Charlie Godan from eating his new box of crayons in kindergarten. They've been best friends, as clichéd as that is. How many times has Logan hit someone, ignored someone, yelled at someone for Duncan? There is no doubt that Duncan does the same for Logan so in what universe does Logan get lumped in with the masses.  
"Since when am I fucking 'people' Duncan?' We've been best friends since kindergarten. How could you have kept this a secret from me?" The hypocrisy of the situation is beginning to get to Duncan and he simply narrows his eyes and looks at Logan pointedly.  
"You have no secrets Logan?" He challenges.  
"Not like that and not from you!" Logan spits back without really considering the validity of the 

statement.  
"Really?" Without thinking it through Duncan grabs Logan's arm and points to a long white scar. "No secrets Logan? How did you get this scar?" Both boys freeze instantly. An apologetic expression quickly settles on Duncan's face as he realizes he pushed too far. Before he can stammer out an apology Logan is wrenching his hand from Duncan's grip and storming out in to the hallway.

Veronica is passively flipping through a pregnancy magazine, marveling at the gross pictures, when Logan storms down the small hallway to her. In a rare moment of conscience Veronica had sat on the furthest chair away and had not eavesdropped at all on what she thought was going to be some sort of man apology thing. Needless to say she is surprised to see Logan in a fit of blind rage.

"Did you tell him?" Veronica just raises a confused eyebrow, thankful nobody else is in the waiting room. "Did you tell him?" If Veronica didn't know Logan the way she did she'd be honest to god scared of him right now.  
"Logan calm down." She responds urgently. Unfortunately her reply sounds too much like an admission for Logan's taste and steps away in angry shock. In his weakest moment he had trusted her with his biggest secret. Something, that up until now, he was grateful for. There was someone to share the lead weight that was his father's abuse, someone to stroke his hair and kiss his bruises. Veronica understood the system. She knew that Aaron would never get convicted and would simply hurt Logan more if he tried to go to the police so she never pushed him. No, there was no unrealistic plans for justice just silent, gentle support as the painkillers wore off. Logan trusted her with so much and she had betrayed that trust to Duncan? In his fury he is about to bolt, run far away from Veronica Mars until he can process this without the unnerving desire to scream at her. Seeing his impulse Veronica firmly grabs his wrist.

"Tell Duncan what?" The concern and confusion are evident in her voice as she tries desperately to get through to her boyfriend. "Logan, I have no idea what you are talking about." Logan prides himself on being able to judge people's sincerity. Growing up with famous parents will do that to you. But never, in 17 years, has been so happy to see utter confusion. He allows Veronica to lead him to a chair and he leans in close enough to whisper. Sure they're alone but they still are in a public place and his previous display was bad enough.  
"Did you tell Duncan about Aaron Echolls Daddy Dearest?" Veronica gasps a little as she understands both his anger and his hurt. Immediately she begins to shake her head. Every part of Logan wants to believe her. Every part of him is desperate, in fact, to believe he has someone to trust. The rational part of him realizes that this desire may be fueling his easy acceptance of her answer so he looks around, conflicted.  
"No Logan." Veronica says sandwiching Logan's face in her hands, staring in to Logan' eyes which are swirling with emotion. "Logan I didn't tell Duncan anything about your father I swear to God." Her blue eyes are concerned and sympathetic but more importantly they're adamant and sincere. Not even Veronica Mars is this good a liar and that realization causes Logan to sigh in relief. He slumps over in his chair and Veronica gently places a hand on his shoulder.

"Duncan knows?" She asks in disbelief. To be honest it surprises her. By all rights Duncan should have figured it out. All the unexplained sleepovers at the Kane house, Logan's occasional hesitancy to take his shirt off, excused absences from P.E., Duncan was smart and Logan was his best friend. The only reason Veronica figured Duncan was oblivious was because nothing had happened. Duncan was as protective as Logan when it came to the ones he loved and Veronica assumed that if he even knew what Aaron did to Logan that he would look through law books, bills of rights, anything to 'save' Logan. One common thread between Logan and Duncan is their hero complex. "He won't say anything." Veronica says reassuringly moving on to Logan's lap. Without quip she lets him cuddle her close and bury his head into her neck. One of Logan's favorite things about Veronica is her smell. Logan realizes that is kind of creepy and stalkerish but he figures, since he's dating her, he can take comfort in the smell if he wishes. It's sweet and strong and makes him feel safe and taken care of. A rare feeling for him. "Chances are he's known for a while." She soothes, gently stroking his hair.

"I know." Logan trusts Duncan implicitly; he was never worried Duncan would spill his secrets. However Duncan's need to help is almost as all encompassing as Veronica's need to deliver justice. Logan wanted a best friend not a lifeguard, and he isn't willing to have Duncan swoop in to try and defeat Aaron Echolls.

"I'm going to go talk to him." Logan says. Veronica inwardly breathes in relief but just nods calmly and gives him a kiss.

"You know." Logan doesn't know if he's more relieved or humiliated that Duncan knows. It doesn't take a genius to figure out the Kane's family life isn't perfect, especially without Lilly, but Duncan doesn't get beat around by his father. It makes Logan feel weak, pathetic even, to stand there in front of another guy and basically admit to standing there and taking hits. Duncan just looks up from his Sudoku and nods solemnly his face carefully neutral.  
"I'm sorry man I shouldn't have blurted it out like that." Logan just shrugs, refusing to admit further weakness, and slips down on the chair beside Duncan's bed.  
"Look I know neither of us are good at the whole supportive touchy-feely crap but if you need…" Logan cuts him off with a headshake.  
"It's really not a big deal DK." Duncan wants to disagree. Of course it's a big deal. His father hurts him consistently, hospitalizes him sometimes and has more than likely done irreparable damage to Logan's spirit. A quick look at Logan tells Duncan that he knows it's not ok but it's also unchangeable and Duncan knows better than to paint Logan in a corner so instead of protesting he just nods.

"How long have you known?"  
"Two weeks before Lilly died I found her in her room crying. I assumed you were being an ass again and asked her what was wrong. She told me she had come over to surprise you and she heard…" Duncan swallows awkwardly and Logan brushes his hand uncomfortably through his hair. "She heard your dad…with the belt while he was yelling all this awful shit at you. Anyways she was freaking out and swore to make Aaron pay. Anyways a few days later there was that party and then the car wash" Not only does Duncan know about the belt he knows about the words. The unflattering comparisons of himself and Duncan, Aaron's insistence that Logan was the downfall of the family, how Aaron wished he 

never had a son that was as spoiled, stupid and soft as Logan. Lilly knew too, Logan thinks with a groan. He remembers that day when she found him recovering from tears and how uncommonly tender she was. When her cool forehead was flush against his neck and let him cuddle her close after sex (when she usually wriggled out his grasp proclaiming she had better things to do then take a nap).

"I know I should've done something." Duncan admits after a long moment of silence. Not being able to help Logan killed Duncan. "Everything I could think of just ended worse for you and I knew you wouldn't leave your mother." Logan is oddly touched by this. Not only did Duncan look up how to help but he had also considered Logan's responsibility with Lynn.  
"It's cool man." Logan says noticing the guilt and apology on Duncan's face. A silence stretches out for another moment and Duncan finally makes the leap everyone has been afraid to all day.  
"So you and Veronica…" To be honest Logan doesn't know how to react. He values his throat and last time he admitted to liking her it ended in strangulation. But Duncan looks neutral aside from the mischievous twinkle in his eye and Logan realizes that Veronica's ex-boyfriend is finally accepting the ex.  
"And you were doing this under my nose for 3 weeks." Duncan says with a smirk and a laugh when Logan nods sheepishly  
"Well, judging by your reaction, we made a good call." Logan says lightly. Unfortunately Duncan doesn't use humor to cover for embarrassment or pain and uses Logan's shrug-off as a sequeway.  
"I'm sorry." He says quietly and Logan just throws a punch on at his shoulder.  
"It's cool. Anyways I really don't want to run in to the ice bitch." Logan says checking instinctively for Celeste. "We're ok?" Logan says seriously.  
"Yeah, we're ok." Both boys release a breath they didn't realize they were holding as Logan turns to walk out the door.

"Logan." Mid-way out the door Logan turns around to his best friend who is now glaring from the hospital bed. "Veronica is practically my sister. You hurt her and I'll make it my personal mission to ensure you never get laid again." This is a big step for Duncan. He is admitting to himself that Veronica is no longer his fairy princess who will love and adore him forever. With letting go of that he is letting go of last year, of Lilly and of the idea that the three friends who are bound by tragedy have the ability to go back to being blissfully ignorant. Logan doesn't miss the importance of the concession and smiles before leaving the room.

He walks out to find Veronica pacing nervously in front of the door. When she sees him exits she immediately walks over concern etched on her face. Logan leans down to give her a reassuring kiss but is stopped by a cold voice.  
"I should've known you two were somehow involved with this." The previously enamored couple turn to see Celeste Kane glaring at them. Neither are affected by the harsh stare or the cool words, both have been victims of her wrath before, Logan simply takes Veronica's hands and walks towards her feigning confusion.  
"Mrs. Kane, fun fact for you. Did you know Duncan has type IV epilepsy." Celeste's face drops in horror while Logan savors his victory.  
"Where is my son?" She says with a threatening step forward. "And how did you two get here it's meant 

to be family only." Logan steps forward about to rip Celeste to shreds with his words. As far as he was concerned Duncan was his family and no one was going to tell him otherwise. Seeing the murderous intent in Logan's eye Veronica neatly steps in between the two.  
"We told them we were his family." Veronica says defensively easily matching Celeste's icy expression. "Duncan didn't seem to mind considering there was no other family around for him when he woke up." Celeste reddens slightly and is about to retort when Veronica continues with a sugary sweet smile. "I'm sure he's missing your maternal warmth though. Room 807" The expression on Celeste's face tightens and she walks past the young couple before stopping and looking back.  
"I take great satisfaction in knowing you are dating a boy who is not my son." She says throwing Logan an indistinguishable look.  
"So do I."Veronica says with faux-cheerfulness. Celeste is about to retort but Logan steps in.  
"Ok that was fun. Celeste, Duncan is in there." He says pointing at the door before grabbing his girlfriend's hand. "Let's go babe we don't want to get speared with her icicles." Celeste rolls her eyes dropping the tete-a-tete in favor of checking on her son and Logan pulls Veronica away.

"Logan you're mother's credit card was just used again." A smile breaks across Logan's face and Veronica can't help but smile back. "The Sunset Regent."

To say that Logan is confused when Veronica makes him pull up to the drugstore would be an understatement. His mother is alive and Veronica is…taking up scrapbooking? Being Veronica she gives no reason for the sudden urge to raid the bridal magazines just orders him to get scissors and glue before grabbing a huge fake diamond ring from the children's jewelry section. The clerk gives him an odd look as he hands her his credit card but he just glares back daring her to ask him why he is buying Modern Bride.

It isn't until Veronica is half-way through cutting out wedding dresses that Logan pipes up and she has to commend him for his patience.  
"Babe, what are you doing?" Veronica glues a wedding dress to the page and looks at Logan like he is mentally challenged.  
"Making a wedding book."  
"Now?" She can't suppress the laugh at the look of utter disbelief on Logan's face.  
"It's for your mother's case. We need a reason to want to view the honeymoon suite." She says conspiratorially. Unable to resist, Logan peeks over at the dresses and bouquets Veronica is quickly pasting on to the background.  
"Do you ever think about it?" _Stupid, stupid Logan_ he thinks with a groan as she freezes mid-stick. _Bring up marriage to your teenage, commitment-phobe girlfriend. _  
"Think about what?" Playing dumb has never suited Veronica but she already let the question hang for a minute and she still can't think of a logical response. The sound of her heart hammering in her ears is enough to drown out reason and she really doesn't want to continue this conversation.  
"Future stuff, weddings, babies, careers." Logan says nonchalantly, he's made his bed, now he has to lie in it. He's not even sure why he asked this question. Seriously Veronica is the girl in this relationship and right now he feels like one big, sappy girly-man..  
"I guess. I mean doesn't everyone." Veronica mumbles as her cheeks turn pink. The curiosity overrules 

Logan's rationality and he can't help but continue.  
"So what are they?" Veronica clams up again but this time Logan prods gently. "Your future wishes." She is about to tell him to shut the hell up with the personal questions but then she figures that this is probably a good distraction from the fact he is about to face the mother who abandoned him.  
"I don't know. I haven't thought about it much." Veronica says not making eye contact. "I've always wanted a church wedding, which I know sounds lame but they're just so beautiful and an old-fashioned ceremony. No more than four kids, there is only so much labor a girl can handle, but no less then two. Close enough in age that they can wear hand-me-downs practically and be entertained by the same TV shows but not so close that they all leave home at the same time. FBI or something similar for a career." She shoots out in one breath. The last person she told her wedding wishes to was Lilly. The flipped through magazines waiting in line at a grocery store. Lilly has initially insisted she was going to elope to Vegas but after a couple innocent yet prying questions from Veronica she finally revealed that she wanted the whole wedding thing with parents and friends to witness her big moment.

"But you don't think about it much." Logan says with a broad smile as he stops at a red light.  
"What about you then? What are your plans?"  
"I don't really have it mapped out." Logan says with a hard swallow. Able to tell that he is lying Veronica rolls her eyes.  
"You have to have something." His expression is a little sour but he laughs a little as she prods him in the ribs. "Come on! I told you mine." She wines. Logan looks over at his girlfriend who is pouting dramatically, batting her eyelashes.  
"You really want to know?" Somehow Veronica misses the wariness in his tone and the tightening of his hands on the steering wheel. At this moment he feels ridiculous for bringing it up in the first place. Of course she was going to ask back. Deciding there is no way he can lie or back-track he blasts on quickly "I figure I'll never get married or have children because genetically speaking all I have to offer is a tendency for abuse and a 50 chance of alcoholism. As for my career, as long as it isn't in the film industry I don't care." Logan just looks at her long enough to see her previously playful expression fall to horror and distress. They are enduring the mother of all uncomfortable silences. The grip Logan has on the steering wheel has made his knuckles turn stark white not to mention his jaw is set tight enough to give him a headache.

Speechless isn't commonly associated with Veronica Mars but Logan has managed to successfully shut her up. How does one even respond to that? She knows she needs to respond. Whether or not he's admitting to himself he is sitting like a coiled spring waiting for her to make her move, to let him down or try to build him back up.

"You'll never be like Aaron." Veronica says as Logan puts the car in park. It's no question that becoming his father is his second biggest fear in the world. "You'll never be like Lynn either." Turning into his mother is undoubtedly his first and more real fear. Apathy and alcoholism scare Logan more than words and whips and lately he has pictured himself 20, 30 years from now drunk, dirty and bored just waiting somewhere to die. Obviously it's not a very uplifting image. "You are a better person than your father and you are stronger than your mother. Do you understand that?" Veronica isn't asking him to 

understand she is demanding that he listens and believes her. The tiny bit of faith eases some of the tension that has been building up for weeks in the back of his head and he just nods before jumping out of the car and opening her door for her.

The couple is extraordinarily different when they walk into the lobby. They pretend to be all sweetness and light with cutesy nicknames and near constant contact. Unfortunately their routine gets them nothing but patronizing smiles from the clerk who comments that the guest in the suite insisted on her privacy.  
"Ok sit tight for a sec I'm going to go talk to the maintenance guys." Veronica requests off-handedly, putting the frilly book in Logan's arms.  
"No I've got a better plan. I'm going to sit right here until my mother walks out of that elevator." The defiant tone tells Veronica that his mind is made up and trying to convince him to do something else would be a waste of time and energy. So she doesn't push it just sits silently on the couch as he regards the guests wandering in and out of the hotel lobby. There is a lot Veronica could do to hurry the process along but she knows Logan needs this time. It's real now and although he wants to find his mother he needs time to work out exactly what to say, what to expect.  
"I'm sorry but the hotel lobby is reserved for guests only." The prickly receptionist comments. Without taking his eyes of the elevator Logan simply hands over his credit card.  
"So book me a room Jeeves." Veronica can't help but roll her eyes at his blatant disregard for money. "Bring me a room service menu while you're at it." The clerk huffs a little obviously wondering how the giggly, happily engaged couple suddenly morphed into caustic, snarky brats. The warning glare he gets from Veronica sends him back to his desk.  
"You can't sit here forever." The disappointment of seeing stranger after stranger instead of Lynn is doing Logan more harm than good. Before he can protest Veronica takes his large hand in hers and pulls out her cell phone. "Why don't we smoke her out?" Logan barely nods at the compromise and continues to regard the door with dwindling hope.  
"Hi, I'd like to report my card lost. My name is Lynn Lester."

A while later the clerk arrives with a fake smile, a room service menu and a key card to one of the suites.  
"Hungry?" Logan asks handing me the over-priced menu. The quip about deeming it unnecessary to pay 15 for a hamburger and fries dies on Veronica's lips when she sees Lynn walk out of the elevator.  
"Logan" She says pointing to the pretty brunette.  
"That's her." The comment is more to himself then Veronica who just hangs back to allow for them to have their reunion. "Mom!" Lynn turns around to be, well, not Lynn. No Logan wanted a mother and got a sister, Trina Echolls.  
"Oh hey Logan. Did you just call me mom?" The look of fake concern is all too familiar to Logan who just stares at her in shock. "You know mom's gone right?" It feels like the first time he's heard it.  
"Wow." Logan responds harshly trying not to convey his disappointment. "You're wearing mom's clothes. You're wearing mom's hat?"  
"She was your mom my step-mom, the lady who liked to parade around the house in a string bikini whenever I had a boy over." There is so many things wrong with this scene that Veronica doesn't even know where to start. She is an only child so the sibling thing is kind of lost on her but if her little brother 

came up to her wide-eyed and hopeful after thinking she was his dead mother Veronica's first instinct would not be to make fun said mother.  
"Well to be fair when didn't you have a boy over?"  
"Oh you." Either too careless or too stupid to see the pain she was putting her brother through Trina reaches out to jokingly pinch his cheek.  
"Dad could have used you there." Aaron's happiness is not a prime concern for Logan but it would have been nice to not be only one having to endure stories of how much he supposedly loved Lynn. Not to mention that Aaron laid around like a dead fish leaving Logan and Duncan to handle all the arrangements. So when Logan speaks of Aaron being able to use Trina he really means that he himself could have used a bit of sisterly affection.  
"Now you're worried about Dad's welfare." Trina responds coldly "Isn't he the big bad wolf? Cigarette burns and broken noses, oh the stories you used to tell." Rage bubbles up in Veronica as Trina pokes fun at Logan's most torturous memories. The only thing stopping her from going over there and punching Trina in the face is Logan's voice.  
"Wow, we should get together and do this more often." Logan is still standing and that means that he won't appreciate Veronica fighting his battles for him. The idea of being protected is so foreign to him that he simply takes offense to someone trying to support him. After all, his father did teach him how to take it like a man.  
"Well you're in luck I'm coming home this week. I guess some accountant finally cancelled mom's cards." "If you're here who is going to play dead hooker two on CSI next week." Logan growls back not bothering to quell any of the disdain. "How will you get your attention fix?" He is still rolling on the adrenaline of the confrontation and Veronica debate the merits of stopping this right now. It'll wound his pride but save him from being crushed.  
"Maybe I can be the ring girl at one of your bum fights." Veronica has seen first-hand the sort-of attention Logan got for that and screws pride in favor of stepping in.  
"Let's go Logan." He is completely unresponsive to Veronica's firm tug and continues staring at his sister letting the meaning of her presence sink in.

"Oh my god Veronica Mars. Look at you all grown up. We should totally hang out when I'm in town." Taken aback but how she just went to tearing down her brother to girl talk Veronica stammers dumbly.  
"Uh, yeah sure." She immediately turns back to Logan who's dark expression hasn't changed. "Come on Logan." The feel of Veronica's hands nor the sound of her voice get through to Logan who is forcing himself to accept that Trina's presence means his mother is dead. She really left him. Not only did she leave him, she left him with a man who beat him and crushed him with cruel words. She's gone, plain and simple.

Veronica turns to say something, anything, even a platitude just something to let Logan know that she understood the severity of the situation. The sight of Logan doubling over in agony, however, make her realize that no words will be enough. Ignoring the whispers and stares from the rest of the foyer Veronica places her hand on his back softly rubbing circles. Thinking quickly, she manages to coax a few steps out of him and gets him sitting on the couch. His top-half completely collapses into her and she whispers soothingly into his ear as he clutches her tightly. Without hesitation Veronica draws his head to 

her chest lightly, stroking his hair as Logan soaks in the tiny bit of comfort and security in her embrace. The feel of his body trembling with tears in her arms is enough to make her stomach clench with sympathy. Logan's show of emotion the first time is mother died was a fraction as intense as this. It's obvious to Veronica that he isn't just crying about his mother. He's also crying for his bitch of a sister, the whole situation with Duncan, the careless disbelief of his abuse.

The worst part for Logan is when his hysteria subsides and he is sniffling in Veronica's arms, feeling the eyes of an entire hotel lobby witness him at his most vulnerable. A hot flush of embarrassment crawls up his cheeks and he quickly removes himself from his girlfriend's arm. _Nice one Echolls now she's going to think you're an emo fag. _  
"Logan?" Veronica begins carefully not really knowing what to do. Sure he is red-eyed and shaking but he is also looking around the foyer like the whole crowd is laughing at him and is avoiding her eyes, afraid he'll find pity there. "Logan." Veronica tries again trying to turn his face towards her. Embarrassed and upset, Logan swipes angrily at his cheeks, refusing to turn to meet Veronica's eye.

"Let's go to your room." Veronica says casually, sensing the intense humiliation Logan is feeling. Before he can protest she has the room key in her hands and is pushing him into the elevator. Being away from the crowd of gawking people causes him to relax slightly and he lets Veronica take his clammy hand in hers and hold it firmly.

It takes Logan two seconds to go for the mini bar. After the second airplane bottle of Jack Daniels Veronica calmly steps in between him and the alcohol insisting that he has had enough Dutch courage. The solemn look on Veronica's features and the weight of his mother's lighter, mocking him in his pocket, cause the whole painful scenario to flash through Logan's head again. Suddenly he's just really, really angry. All he needed was her to do was hold on for one more year. One more year and he would have turned 18 and found some way to save them both. He'd fight Aaron himself if he had to. Angrily, Logan throws the small glass bottle away from Veronica letting the shards splatter on the balcony. This is the point for Veronica when she realizes she has to step in before the tabloids get even more scoop on the Echolls family melt-down.

She slowly walks in from of him and he is so busy trembling with rage that he barely registers her presence. When she places her hands on his biceps she can't help but notice he is still shaking, struck with a myriad of painful, conflicting emotions. Wordlessly Veronica pushes him back to bed before carefully pushing off his sweater and lifting his t-shirt up over his head. This unexpected act does the trick and the fog slowly lifts from his eyes as he returns to the present. Without looking away Veronica bravely sheds her own shirt and stands before him in just a light blue bra. Assuming she is pulling a Lilly and is going to attempt to screw away the sadness, Logan reaches out and kisses her. He's knows it'll give nothing but a temporary reprieve but that's better than nothing. Surprisingly she doesn't let the kiss heat up and instead leans down to take off his socks and shoes. Veronica is pretty sure that, even with all her sex-related issues, she would sleep with Logan right then if it would dull his pain for even an instant but she knows that Logan will get nothing but guilt from trying to screw the pain away with her. No, Logan doesn't need a quick fuck he needs closeness and intimacy, two things that have been denied from him for so long he probably doesn't even think he needs them anymore. In one quick motion 

Veronica shimmies out of her skirt standing before Logan in just her matching underwear. Even given the situation Logan's eyebrows raise in appreciation and she just tugs his pants off so they're both bare in front of each other.

Trying not to feel uncomfortable in just her bra and underwear Veronica walks to where Logan is sitting and lets her fingers dance gently across his tear-stained face. Trying to quell the upsurge of tears brought on by the intimate gesture, Logan squeezes his eyes shut.

"C'mere sweetheart." Veronica says gently, taking him with her as she lays back on the bed. As a general rule Veronica doesn't like endearments and feels embarrassed almost immediately. The soft words register with Logan though and he immediately buries his face in Veronica's neck. It's less embarrassing for him now, without the crowd of onlookers, and he lets her hold him close and tenderly drop kisses on his forehead as he sobs out his loss. It has been a while since Logan cried like this in front of anyone. When Veronica found him after his mom's death he was on the tail end of his tears and the night his crying woke her up she had simply cuddled in closer and wordlessly reassured him. In fact the last time Logan completely broke down in a woman's arms was his mother's after Lilly died. That doesn't help quell the tears and Veronica starts mumbling soothing, incoherent words, rocking him slightly as he tries to reign in the sobs.

In reality, the vicious shedding of tears took only minutes but to both teenagers it felt like hours. Most great love stories forget about moments like these. One's intense sadness and vulnerability handled with unconditional tenderness and support. Stolen kisses, protective hugs and sweet whispers are great but the true lines of intimacy are crossed at times like this. So, as Logan wept over the memory of his mother and Veronica wondered how a woman, once so proud and vivacious, could hurt her son so fiercely, they unwittingly crossed from being teenagers in puppy love to adults embarking on a relationship that could either be beautiful brilliant or painfully perilous.

When Logan's tears subside to sniffles Veronica shuffles down the bed to be at eye-level. In an attempt to regain some pride, Logan is about to quickly wipe the stream of moisture away from his raw cheeks. He's stopped by Veronica's lips gently kissing away some of the fallen tears before she pulls back and wipes away the rest of them with the pads of her thumbs. Knowing both Logan's pride and caustic defense mechanisms well, Veronica tries desperately to find some way to get him to stop avoid her eye contact and flushing red. Because she's Veronica Mars the words 'I am your girlfriend and therefore support and care about you more than you will ever know' don't come out, and she runs her fingers through his hair softly.

"You know how you told me you didn't want me to be embarrassed around when we're…intimate." Veronica begins straining for a better word than intimate. Still reeling with humiliation, and the loss of his mother, Logan has taken to staring at the ceiling and gives a barely perceivable nod. "Well you don't have to be embarrassed about being capable of basic human emotion around me." Shifting slightly so she is on her side and able to really look at him she forces herself to continue. "I mean I won't share my ice cream or anything but I've kind of grown attached to you over the years." The gentle mockery coaxes a small smile from Logan and he reluctantly turns to make eye contact and Veronica rests her hand on 

his cheek. "Ok?"  
"It's incredibly unfair that you aren't sharing your ice cream." He responds running his fingers through her hair as she smiles up at him.  
"I'll order you your own." Veronica says definitively, taking the phone off the bedside table.  
"Not really hungry Mars." Both drop the lighter banter at this and Veronica's voice softens again.  
"Logan you have to eat something. I suppose I could start at the base of the food chain." Knowing a hunger strike will not bring his mother back, only anger his girlfriend, Logan orders hamburgers for both of them sternly informing Veronica that ice cream is not dinner. She pouts a little and he ends up ordering ice cream for dessert then hides in the bathroom so the bellboy won't get the pleasure of seeing Logan's distress. As Veronica pays for the meal, Logan looks in the mirror and groans in horror. Red blotches dot his skin and his eyes are swollen and rimmed with red, not the best look for him.

"Logan?" She says knocking gently on the door. "He's gone." Logan doesn't respond; too busy willing away the unattractive red patches on his face. The door handle turns and Veronica is looking on with a mix of sympathy and humor at the Logan's distress over his precious face.  
"Come here pretty boy." She giggles leading him to sit on the toilet seat before grabbing a neatly folded white facecloth and wetting it in the sink. With a reassuring smile she runs the cold washcloth over Logan's face causing the redness to subside slightly. "Better?" Instead of responding with his usual quip he kisses her gently letting his lips thank her.  
"Our hamburgers are getting cold." He remarks with a little smirk when Veronica pulls back a little breathless and taken aback. The few occasions Logan didn't kiss wild and passionately he gave soft reassuring pecks. It is a rare event that he gives a long, simple, soft kiss, filled with promises and affection, but when he does, he means it and he can't help but feel a little proud he just made Veronica Mars weak in the knees. Veronica just nods mutely and they return to the bed, eating their hamburgers and watching TV shows neither one of them followed.

Out of the corner of her eye Veronica watches as Logan slowly reverts back to memory lane. Nostalgic was not a word commonly associated with Logan but the circumstances are obviously causing him to rewind to his years with his mother. If he was going really far back he might hit the place where his father only yelled and his mother's eyes lit up.

"Talk to me." Veronica demands gently, flicking off the TV. The only response from Logan is a brief look down and a slightly curious gaze as she gets out from under his arm to face him head on.  
"About what?" The listlessness and calmness disturbs Veronica the most and she takes one of his ice cold hands in hers.  
"About your mother, Trina, your father, Lilly, Duncan." There are so many shitty things in Logan's life that Veronica is one step away from counting the tragedies on her fingers to make sure she doesn't miss one. "Anything you want, just talk." Instinct tells Logan to clam up. Logan is good with words, cutting words, sensual words, evading words, but he isn't good with meaningful words. Not to mention that people are more entertained and interested in his amusing stories and jokes rather than actually wanting to hear his life's story. The feel of the warmth from Veronica's hands transferring through to his cold ones as she patiently waited for him to decide if he could really talk about made Logan's decision for him.

The first, but my no means easiest stories were about Lynn. Unaccustomed to talking about anything of importance, Logan nervously told Veronica of the moment, after his second beating, when he had realized his mother's promise of safety was empty. When she didn't laugh in his face or give him a piteous look, he wondered aloud if she thought of him, or anyone else for that matter, when she decided to jump of a bridge.

Veronica was surprised that the stories of Trina were the ones that really upset Logan. He had never talked much of his sister, dismissing her as an attention-seeking whore, but when he spoke of their time as naughty, conspiratorial siblings, it was obvious to Veronica that he loved his sister and the feeling had, at one point, been mutual. Trina had seen Logan after one of his father's beatings. It was one of the first times his father had used the belt and Logan had yet to condition the very natural response of crying out of his system. His outraged sister had demanded to know what happened to him promising to kill whoever reduced her tough younger brother to tears. Logan didn't believe that his 11-yr old sister in the pink sweater set could take on Aaron Echolls (or anyone who couldn't make Logan cry for that matter) but she cared and maybe that would be enough for him. So he showed her the burn marks on his back and she responded with a vicious slap and blatant disbelief. Things were never the same between them again.  
Logan pointedly left his father and Lilly out of it. First off Veronica wasn't his shrink (nor did he want her to be) and second off trusting and talking were new to him and he didn't want to regret this moment. He had forgotten how good a listener Veronica was. Whenever Lilly had really gotten to his nerves or his father's belt had stung particularly fiercely he would rant to Veronica about what a bitch Lilly was or how much he really hated his father (not that he ever told her the reason). The entire time he was raving in that maniacal way 16 yr old boys do she would just sit there, eyes wide with sympathy and understanding until he wore himself out. Sure it was different to rant angrily than to talk emotionally but she stayed silent and neutral, gently stroking the top of his hand when he got to particularly hard parts.

Logan's life horrified Veronica. People don't just leave him they usually choose to leave him. She wanted to tell him how proud she was of him, how much she admired his ability to not crumble under the weight of his world continuously falling apart. But he would take it the wrong way and she'd get defensive so she decided to just rest her head on his chest instead, the beat of his heart reassuring her that he indeed made it through.

"You're father." Logan says suddenly breaking Veronica out of her half-asleep daze. "Call him before he activates the homing beacon in your molar."  
"Hey Dad."  
"Honey." He knows where she is and Veronica knows lying about it will only make it worse.  
"I can explain…"  
"You're going to explain to me how Logan will sleep on the couch and won't touch a hair on your head whilst you slumber peacefully in the bed dreaming of convents."  
"The Virgin Mary is always in my thoughts."  
"You're to come home first thing tomorrow morning." Keith demands sternly trying not to think of Logan Echolls sleeping in a hotel room with is 17 yr old daughter.  


"Yes."  
"You're to not to do anything remotely sexual."  
"But Logan's already ordered the Skinimax!"  
"Veronica!" Her father shrieks in to the phone as Logan chuckles.  
"Look I appreciate that this has been a hard day for Logan with the Lynn situation but I'm trusting you here."  
"Dully noted. I love you Dad."  
"Love you too." Keith says, Veronica waits for a moment, expectantly. "Tell Logan I'm sorry about his mother." Keith continues resigned.

The two teens lay intertwined in contemplative silence moments after the phone is hung up. Logan thoughtfully strokes Veronica's long waves of blonde hair wondering where he'd be right now if Duncan hadn't forced him to join their investigation. The blonde in his arms is too busing thinking about how ashtrays, belts and lighters have affected Logan to worry about hindsight. The look of Logan's face, ecstatic and ready to forgive, as he though he saw his mother coupled with the despair when it turned out to be Trina, haunt Veronica as she snuggles into his arms fully.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out." Veronica says into his chest letting her hand stroke his face. He pulls her closer and releases a shaky breath.  
"Yeah, me too."  
"She really did love you. You know that right?" Logan tenses a little underneath her.  
"Loved me enough to jump off a bridge." He replies bitterly. Instead of shrugging off his pained quip Veronica shuffles up a bit and presses her forehead to his.  
"I think that the only thing that kept her off the bridge for so long was her love for you." He closes his eyes which are shinning with emotion. "Those stories you tell…there's no doubt you meant the world to her." Logan kisses her on the forehead and buries his face in her hair. Moments later they lie asleep in each other's arms. The emotional exhaustion of the day taking over them both.

The stream of sunlight wakes Logan first and he is momentarily surprised to find a warm, heavy weight across his chest and stomach. Veronica is still asleep, clad in bra and underwear, the skin of her cheek sticking to his warm chest as a small puddle of drool forms. The tiny figure latched on to him reminds him of the painful day before, Duncan's attack, Trina's impersonation, the tears. A tiny, miniscule part of him figures he'll be ok though. Not because of some great coping mechanism but because of the girl in front of him who actually listened, with empathy but not pity, to some of his childhood memories and told him not to be ashamed of his tears. It's not that he is depending on her to hold him together. He's done a fine job of getting through life by himself but it's easier when there is an incentive not to self-destruct. Logan runs his fingers up and down her bare back eliciting a contented sigh and an unconscious caress from his girlfriend.  
"Veronica." He says looking at the alarm clock reading 6AM. Hearing the it's-morning-time tone in Logan's voice Veronica groans and buries further in to Logan's chest refusing to open her eyes. He smells amazing. She's never really noticed his smell before but right now the distinct scent of some expensive cologne soaked in his skin with the smell bounce sheets waft up her nostrils making her sigh in her own personal heaven. For a moment she considers it a little funny that the person she once classified as a 

psychotic jackass smells like something as comforting and familial as fabric softener.  
"Baby wake up." Why won't he just let her lie here and smell him all day. C'mon she's half-naked it's a win-win. Logan would be all for it if he wasn't thinking about what Keith Mars would do if he made his A-student, Stanford-bound daughter late for class.  
"No. " She says petulantly and Logan reaches down to tuck a stray strand over hair behind her ear.  
"Ok but you get to explain to Mr. Martin, Mrs. Murphy and your father why we didn't come to class." Unimpressed but immediately responsive, Veronica sits up.  
"Feed me." She says simply before walking into the shower.

A while later Veronica returns with wet hair, make-up and yesterday's clothes.  
"I feel dirty."  
"We'll buy something on the way home." Logan responds over his shoulder as he tips the bellboy and wheels the cart in the room.  
"God I have 3 missed calls. All from the same number and the person just calls and breathes it's so annoying. Do you recognize it?" Veronica passes the phone to Logan who examines it momentarily and checks it against his own phonebook before shaking his head no. Most guys wouldn't worry about crank calls but, then again, most guys aren't dating Veronica Mars. _Knowing her it could be some Russian mob affiliate _Logan thinks with a shudder.  
"Working on anything dangerous?" Veronica shakes her head negatively only to be met by Logan's pointed look of disbelief.  
"No seriously. I mean Lilly's murder could be I guess but that's all I can think of." After taking a bite of the pancakes she just shrugs nonchalantly and stuffs the phone back into her bag. "Probably some bored 09er's." They turn the conversation back to the mundane and slide in to Neptune High moments before the bell.

"Morning." Duncan says sliding beside Logan with an unsure smile. The altercation with Duncan seems so trivial compared with the bomb of really losing Lynn that Logan just smirks back.  
"You firing on all cylinders today DK?" Duncan responds with a good-natured scowl as the class begins.  
"Veronica told me about your mom." He whispers quietly and Logan feels his heart clench in dread. "I was hoping it would turn out different. I'll miss her." The sincerity in his nervously whispered statement is obvious and Logan smiles back gratefully.  
"Thanks" The mention of his mother is still fresh enough to cause and awkward lump of emotion to build in his throat and tears to spring to his eyes.  
"So, I'm thinking Meg Manning." Duncan continues blithely, sensing the need for a change in subject.  
"What?"  
"Well since you have stolen my previous girlfriend, thanks for that by the way." Logan just rolls his eyes, inwardly grateful for the jest. "I think I need to move on to greener pastures."  
"You do realize we're talking about women not horses right?"  
"Yes, I just mean I think I should ask Meg to Total Eclipse of the Heart." Logan looks at him in disbelief and Duncan immediately gets defensive.  
"What it's not like I'm asking her to have my children it's just a dance."  
"You're totally going to do something corny involving wrist corsages and matching costumes aren't you."  


"Maybe." Duncan says blushing.  
"If you're planning on making it a secret I suggest you tell Ronnie before Meg asks her to figure out what creepy freshman is stalking her."  
"Good call man." Duncan agrees with a laugh. The monotony of high school English almost forces thoughts of death and destruction from their minds and things seem to slowly return to where they belong. They are all far from ok but they're breathing and that's enough for now.

Duncan finds Veronica leaning against her locker debating which textbooks to bring home. Having his two friends know his big, dark secret make it considerably less big and dark. He has epilepsy, so what? Logan wasn't even remotely uncomfortable this morning, probably due to the fact that he was still reeling to get over Lynn's suicide. He knows Veronica well enough to know that she'll feign nonchalance.

"I need a favor."  
"You stole my line."  
"I want to ask Meg to the dance." This should hurt…or at least should be awkward. But Duncan is resting leaning against the lockers comfortably and Veronica is happy with a side of jealously. Obviously she is going to feel a pang of envy. Duncan was her first love. It doesn't matter that she is dating Logan and completely enamored with him, a little part of her will never want Duncan to move on. But, thankfully, that part is smaller than she expects and she can give Duncan a genuine smile back.  
"That's great Duncan."  
"I want to surprise her." Memories of Duncan's ridiculous romantic gestures back when they were dating flood Veronica and she gives a little laugh.  
"Of course you do." She comments rolling her eyes. The fact that Lilly was her best friend didn't help when Duncan wanted to awe her with some crazy scavenger hunt or outrageous flower bouquets. Duncan was so excited about the 'surprises' that Veronica always played along and, truth be told, she was always genuinely touched. "How can I help?" Duncan hands her a wrist corsage and an envelope with the word 'GO' on it.  
"Can you give her this and convince her that I'm not some putz sitting outside her bedroom window with a bag of pork rinds."  
"You're not?" Veronica asks jokingly getting a glare in return before taking the bouquet. "Of course Duncan I'll be happy to help." It's nice to be playing Cupid instead of a relationship wrecking ball and Veronica is kind of excited in that middle schooler sort of way.  
"See you at lunch V." He turns to leave put is stopped by Veronica remembering something she had momentarily forgotten.  
"Hey wait...how are you?" Duncan is grateful for the concern even if he isn't ecstatic about the question. They exchange a significant look and Duncan gives her a little smile.  
"I'm ok."

Veronica watches Duncan's retreating back with a feeling of relief before looking down at the bunch of flowers in her hand. Now how to do this without raising suspicion.  
"Weevil…I need a favor." He rolls his eyes at the predictability.  
"I need you to deliver these to Meg Manning from her secret admirer." Weevil looks at Veronica like she has seven heads. Most of their favors involve, you know, threatening to beat the truth out of someone 

or getting a load of free steroids from Mexico (yah he so did not flush those down the toilet), mutually beneficial stuff. Playing Emma never came up in their business arrangement.  
"Blondie you realize that a Mexican handing a rich, white girl a bunch of flowers from her 'secret admirer' is basically a federal offence." Felix says, voicing Weevils thoughts. Expecting the indignation, Veronica tilts her head slightly and gives her eyes a little flutter.  
"Don't worry it's completely legit one 09er boy to a 09er girl. Very Jane Austen. Anyways you are to throw her off the trail." Weevil looks reluctant and Veronica takes on a pleading tone. "Please."  
"Yeah, alright." Someone says something about Weevil being whipped and Logan picks that moment to come up. To his credit, Logan tries very hard not to project his Lilly-related insecurities on to his relationship with Veronica but seeing her, head-tilted, lips curved in a thankful smile, makes every possessive bone in his body itch.

"Hey babe." He looks pointedly at Weevil as he kisses Veronica then grabs her hand, pulling her away from the PCHers.  
"Thanks for the flowers V." Weevil says provocatively. "I know it's our little secret." The comment makes Logan's back arch and he has a lot of anger he would happily take out on Weevil. Sensing both the tension and the back-handed reference to Lilly, Veronica sends Weevil a stern look before softening her face to indifference.

"It doesn't have to be Weevil I'm sure Felix feels the same way about you." She quips off-handedly before walking away, giving Logan's hand a possessive squeeze. Veronica knows her friendship with Weevil will always be a sore spot with Logan but she isn't willing to give up either relationship. Seriously, why can't everyone just get along?

"So you me and the 80s dance?" The 09ers give the couple a dirty look as they sit down together. Veronica ignores them and Logan scoots his chair closer to her and pointedly kisses her cheek.  
"Not really in the mood for dances babe." He says dryly and she can still feel the sadness rolling off of him in waves.  
"Come on don't you want to see how the first chapter of the Duncan and Meg saga plays out? Could be fun?" She won't push him but him staying holed up in his room, undoubtedly blaming himself for the whole thing, is not going to help matters.  
"I'm dressing up as Risky Business."Logan relents.  
"Fair compromise."

Veronica spends the rest of the day in supportive girlfriend mode even ditching Wallace, after many apology, to have lunch with Logan in the sanctity of his Xterra. Meg was successfully evaded when she asked for help with some lame excuse about too many cases and not enough time. To appease her she put Wallace on the case.

"Hey wants me to come to the dance." Meg says excitedly thrusting the bouquet of flowers towards Mac. Logan and Mac becoming friends and Veronica and Mac already being friends led to the cute, science techie to spend more time in outside the lab and with Veronica and co. This did not mean she knew how to handle Meg's giggly excitement of love and simply looked at the bunch of hideously 

colored flowers in her hands.  
"That's…nice?" Logan smirks over Veronica head but Meg is too busy giggling to notice.  
"So you girls want to get ready with me?"  
"Oh I'm not going." Mac jumps in quickly before Meg decides to attack her with glitter gloss and a hair curler.  
"Maaac" Logan whines.  
"Logan I'd rather have to re-teach you trigonometry." She comments dryly and Logan pretends to pout.  
"What about you Veronica?" Meg asks hopefully. Put on the spot, Veronicas mouth opens and closes a few times, she had promised Duncan both she and Logan would go support the dance he'd been planning since October but engaging in girl-talk about Duncan with Meg seemed a bit…nauseating.  
"Sure." What the hell did she just agree too?

This is the story of how Veronica ends up getting half a can of hairspray in her hair as Meg gushes about her secret admirer. Just because she's getting dizzy Veronica just wants to tell her everything. It's Duncan, he'll request a slow song, won't dip his hands below your waist and he'll whisper in your ear how beautiful you are. But she promised Duncan she'd keep it a surprise so she helps Meg debate the pros and cons of Caz Truman. Finally they arrive at the dance. Meg looks back at Veronica reluctantly when Duncan offers his hand but Veronica simply waves them on with a smile before looking around for a very late Logan.

"Everybody let's Whang Chung tonight!" No. Fuck. Silly Veronica thought Logan had bypassed the stage of public drunkenness, and nudity. At the sound of Logan's increasing agitation Duncan looks away from Meg to exchange a conspiratorial look with Veronica.  
"RONNIE!" Veronica cringes at the nickname on principle but before she can comment he is devouring her in a sticky, whiskey tasting kiss. To humor him, she kisses him back briefly before pulling away and sandwiching his face.  
"You're drunk." She can't keep the mild amusement out of her voice and Logan just rests his forehead on hers looking a little guilty.  
"I needed to see you."  
"You couldn't do that sober?" She teases good-naturedly as she steers her pant-less boyfriend through the crowd. "Duncan, do me a favor and try to talk to the teachers out of calling his Dad." The sight of the teachers muttering and pointing at Logan is enough to make her worry and Aaron would not be pleased with this sort of image.  
"Logan did you drive?" Veronica says sharply, just considering the very real possibility as she rips off his sunglasses to reveal red-rimmed, saddened eyes. "Hey, what's this?" She asks, all anger forgotten, as she reaches up to stroke his cheek.  
"My Dad knew I was looking." Logan mumbles his voice barely above a whisper. Not removing her hand from his face, Veronica leans in a little closer.  
"Did he hurt you?" It's an honest fight to keep her voice level and neutral and she can hear a mix of anger and fear in her words.  
"Nope." Veronica's relief is palpable. "No he, uh, made me pack up all her belongings for storage and explained to me in various ways how it was my fault." He continues bitterly. God one of these days she 

is going to kill Aaron Echolls. Logan's lip trembles a bit and Veronica just pulls him towards her.  
"Hey it's not your…" The sound of her phone ringing cuts through them again and Veronica pushes ignore and looks up at him seriously. "It's not your fault Logan." Logan nods a little and she thinks he might actually believe her. "Let's go home…" The ringing of her phone breaks in again and Veronica looks at the caller ID frustrated before giving Logan a one second gesture and answering.  
"Hello?" She plays with his fingers reassuringly as she speaks. "Oh hey nice breathing." Veronica grumbles pissed that they ruined the moment between herself and Logan.  
"They're still calling you?" Conversation of his father's punishment had sobered Logan considerably and even drunk he knew that repetitive prank callers + Veronica Mars cause for concern. "Did you try calling back?"  
"Every time I do it just rings and rings." Logan takes her phone and hits 69 anyways, surprised to hear a raspy male voice on the other end.  
"Why are you calling my girl?" The alcohol makes the edge in Logan's voice even stronger and Veronica can't help but smirk a little had his Neanderthal tendencies. "A blonde lady?" Veronica freezes at this.  
"My mother." Logan barely hears the whisper but senses the significance in his girlfriend's face.  
"Where are you?" He quickly demands of the caller fighting through the drunken haze. "Sagebrush Cantina, Barstow. Thanks."  
"I have to go." Veronica says immediately grabbing her phone back.  
"I'm going with you." For an instant Veronica considers it then nods quickly knowing she doesn't have time to argue.

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW please….and thnks to the reviewers who already left comments**


	16. Beautifully Brilliant

Season 1 Episode 15: Flash Credit Card Now, Think Later

Episode Guide: Veronica crosses a line, Duncan takes a stand, a surprise couple begins and picking puppies was never so illegal.

"This looks like the place." Logan says pulling up in front of a ratty bar. Veronica had tried to convince him that he didn't need to come along but Logan wouldn't hear of it and an hour later they had both boarded a first class flight to Barstow. Veronica had initially been wary of allowing Logan to accompany her to meet her mom. When they were wrapped up in kisses and cutesy talk it was easy to forget that a few months ago it was Logan who was tormenting her endlessly but, as they boarded a plane to collect her drunk, runaway mother Veronica couldn't help remembering the year of drunken mother slurs. Sure he has apologized and Veronica was doing her best to not think back to those days but she can't help but wonder if he really thinks her mother is a drunken hag. If so, Veronica isn't sure if she wants him here.  
"Logan maybe you should wait in the car." Veronica says as he reaches for the handle. Logan looks at her oddly but Veronica gives him a tight smile and is half-way across the street before he can object.

It takes Veronica 20 seconds to find her mother. She looks at a woman, broken and plastered leaning on the countertop like she's molded there and Veronica momentarily thinks 'thank god that's not my mother'. When she looks at her the second time she realizes it is.  
"Mom?" Veronica says tearfully. She has thought about this reunion for months. Every time it began and ended with Veronica asking all the right questions which her mother answered honestly before coming home. All times Veronica imagined herself rational, strong and efficient. Here she was now blubbering like a baby holding on to her mother like she did when she was 3 and a bee stung her.  
"Veronica." Her mother breathes. Veronica can smell the whiskey on her breath but she at this moment she could care less. She has her mother back. Leanne runs a soothing hand over Veronica's head, as if that is still enough to comfort her, Leanne then catches herself and pulls away. "No. You have to go away." The stumble Leanne takes away from Veronica hurts more than seeing her drunk. "They'll hurt you." For a moment Veronica is relieved because her mother is trying to protect her and that's what mother's do. She mutters something through her excitement about the threats not being relevant anymore. That's when she sees Clarence Weidman. Her heart stops but maybe it will be ok because she has her mother back and what would Weidman do exactly? Somehow she manages to drag her mother over to a booth.  
"Veronica you shouldn't be here." Leanne cries.  
"I've been searching for you for over a year. I'm not going anywhere." This seems to register with her mother who remembers the daughter she left and immediately realizes that she isn't looking at the same girl.  
"I've missed you so much." This beautiful girl sitting in front of her no longer danced to spice girls with Lilly Kane or curled the ends of her long blonde hair. She didn't blush at Logan Echolls' innuendos or pine over Duncan Kane and really what does she do these days? Leanne doesn't know anymore. She's sobbing whole-heartedly in to Veronica's shoulder and Veronica can't help but think this is more awkward than when Logan broke down. It's more awkward because this isn't how it's meant to go. Leanne is supposed to hug Veronica and Veronica is supposed to cry and hurt and tell her how awful the 

past year has been while her mother hugs her and promises that it will all be ok because she is coming home now. There isn't supposed to be loud, drunk sobs and her mother's insistence that Veronica shouldn't be here. A steaming hot cup of coffee is suddenly in front of them and both of them look up to see Logan with a look of…is that humility on Logan Echolls face?... because it suits him as well as a ketchup stain would.

Logan didn't know what he was expecting when he flashed his black AmEx and hurried Veronica on a Red Eye flight to Barstow. His thought process tends to be flash credit card now, think later. Before Lilly died Logan spent many a night at the Mars residence. One night, while Veronica was in the bathroom, Logan saw Leanne stumble to the kitchen and take a long, heavy swig of water before slurring a goodnight to him. He knew that stumble-grab act well, his mother had perfected it. The curiosity got the better of him and he couldn't resist the urge to smell said water. He was right in his initial assessment, it was vodka. Logan didn't know if Veronica, or Keith for that matter, knew and he surely wasn't going to be the one to dump the load on his friend. The first time Veronica knew he knew of her mother's alcoholism was when he taunted her with it in the parking lot. He shouldn't have done that. There are lots of things Logan Echolls shouldn't have done to Veronica Mars but mocking her mother is quite possibly his biggest regret. He had expected a response, some knock about his mother's taste for Valium and Merlot but it never came. Of course he hadn't meant what he said. He's knows better than anyone that a parent being an alcoholic doesn't mean that the parent doesn't love the child and vice-versa he had simply wanted to hurt her. It occurred to him in the car that she didn't know that he understood and that he was sorry not just because he hurt her but because he truly hadn't meant what he said. He had debated going in initially but decided that he didn't want to intrude on the family moment. It was when Clarence Weidman, the same guy who had been stalking Veronica, exited the seedy bar that Logan said fuck-family moments and stormed in to make sure his girlfriend was alright. He spotted her in a booth, patting her mother's head awkwardly as her mother wailed out drunken comments about Jake Kane and death threats and how she shouldn't have tried to find her. No, Veronica Mars was not ok. He was didn't know how to apologize to and help his girlfriend at the same time so he did the only thing he knew how to do, sober a mother up quickly, and bought a cup of strong coffee.

The prime emotion that registered on Veronica's tear-stained face when she saw Logan staring down at the scene, looking apologetic and confident at the same time, was embarrassment. Veronica does not cry, especially not like this in public. Not to mention the fact that her mother's drunken state wasn't the best jumping off point for a meet the parent's moment. Then again Logan already knew her mother didn't he?

"Logan?" Her mother says confused taking a loud slurp of her coffee.  
"Mrs. Mars." Logan says politely nodding his head.  
"You really shouldn't be seeing me like this." Lianne says quickly wiping her snotty, tear-ridden face with her sleeve. Veronica gives Logan a look that says she agrees.  
"If you think you're make-up's bad you should've scene Ronnie last night." Logan says with a good-natured smile sitting beside Veronica who immediately stiffens. "She was wearing blue eye-shadow." Leanne giggles and the over-flow of awkwardness that initially plagued Veronica begins to subside. 

Trying to get control of the conversation back, Veronica starts questioning her mother about Jake and Celeste after informing her that Duncan and her were not, in fact, siblings.

"I don't understand why you didn't just tell me." Veronica exclaims thinking back to the horrible week, horrible year for Duncan, when her paternity had been questioned.  
"Your father…I didn't want him to know. It was a one-time fling at our 5-year reunion. Your father and I had just moved back to Neptune. I had no friends, your father worked late and the draw of our high school love was...it was too strong." Veronica looks at her mother with disgust and Logan tries to imagine Jake and this broken woman, happy and in love.  
"We could have had sex." The bite in Veronica's voice is back. She doesn't have the talent of dealing with alcoholic parents with ease the way Logan does. There was always Keith to shield her from this, to set her an example and to do the right thing. The thought of a parent treating her heart and her trust like a piece of dog crap is so foreign to her she can only react with anger. "What if I had gotten pregnant?"  
"I didn't think of that ok?" How do you not think of that? If she had truly been the spawn of Jake Kane and she had slept with Duncan, something she had been debating doing anyways, she would have committed incest. To stop from puking Veronica moves on. "Why were you at the Camelot with Jake Kane?" This peeks Logan's interest as he thinking back to the Lilly case.  
"Look Veronica it's complicated I can't explain…"  
"Try." Logan surprises himself when he says that. He knows parents like Leanne will make excuses for their actions, say anything to evade the truth. Veronica spent all of last week being strong for him and, now that she's faltering, it's his turn. She mumbles some weak excuse about the Kanes and Veronica is outraged.  
"So is that why you left." The tears are beginning to well up in Veronica's eyes and Logan instinctively puts a hand on her knee. "You couldn't handle Dad going after Jake Kane?"  
"Jake is innocent." Veronica looks at her like she has three heads and Logan stops playing with the creamers to listen.  
"How do you know?"  
"I just do."  
"Like in your heart cause you love him." The bitterness in her voice is evident as she spits out the words.  
"I was with him at the time of the murder."Leanne replies coldly. It turns out Celeste wanted to spill the paternity secret to Veronica. To preserve her relationship with both her husband and daughter Leanne had called Jake and threatened them to sue him for millions in a paternity suit if Celeste tried to contact Veronica again. Celeste had burst in on the meeting, right before the time of Lilly's death angry and violent. Was it possible that everything had been an alibi issue not a paternity issue? After all, weren't both sides threatening to spill the paternity beans?

When all the dirty laundry is aired Logan and Veronica force Leanne to the rehab centre. Logan recommended one of Lynn's old ones before remarking dryly that it didn't work well so maybe they should try elsewhere. They found Hazlewood facility in the phone book. It was relatively affordable and nearby. Veronica was determined to bring her mother home

Logan casually flips through an "Are you an alcoholic?" brochure. Tallying up his results as he keeps a watch-full eye on Veronica who is trying to force Lynn in to rehab.  
"That's 12,000 up front." Logan watches as she shakily takes out her checkbook. She might as well sign-it Goodbye Stanford. A thin check for a good portion of his mother's inheritance is being passed to the clerk while he ignores Veronica's protests.  
"Please take this one." She says throwing another check at the clerk. The clerk looks from Logan to Veronica waiting for them to finish fighting it out. Logan reaches over and rips up her check wordlessly for the 3rd time. Her arms are too short to reach his and finally he just grabs her checkbook.

"Logan it's my mother I should take care of it please let me do this."  
"Look consider this my payment." He says helplessly. It would be wrong on so many levels to sit here with his hoards of money as Veronica simply signs her life away. "For my mother's case." Veronica looks at him incredulously.  
"I never expected payment for that Logan. You are my boyfriend I was helping you."  
"Ok well that goes both ways." He gently moves a strand of hair away from her face. He can feel her defenses breaking down. "It's for two cases actually, my mother's and Lilly's. You did all you could for two women I loved Veronica. This is the least I can do." Tears are streaming down her face and she doesn't know what to make of the gesture. There is the smallest part of her telling her that if he ever decides to turn on her again that this would be prime ammunition "Hey Mars remember when I paid for your mom's rehab?" A larger part of her knows that will never go back to hurting each other like that. "I want you to trust me." He says gently as he wraps his arms around her. Veronica's determination and personality always makes her feel taller than she is but when she is wrapped up in Logan's arms she feels like she could get lost in them. It's like a warm duvet when you are sick and anything outside the warm cacoon is cold. She is relying on him,  
"I do." She sputters weakly. Most of her does anyways. They have issues. Big, scary issues. His father beats him and both their mother's deserted them, trust doesn't come naturally to either of them. Even when he was crying in her arms is took hours of hand holding and silence before he actually spoke of his feelings. He still hasn't talked about his father. She wants to trust him but this feels like too much.  
"Then let me do this." His brown eyes are hypnotic when she looks in to them. Logan knows she's going to cave and he is glad because he couldn't save his mother but maybe he can save hers. In that moment they both know Logan is going to foot the bill. They look into each other's eyes with understanding for a long moment.

"Who's paying." Logan simply slides his check over and kisses Veronica's head. Her mother has long been taken back to the 'facility' but she stares down the hallway where she left anyways. 17 year old kids aren't meant to have to check their parents into rehab.  
"Let's go home sugarpuss." He says attempting to lighten the mood with the nickname from the Sunset Regent.

It doesn't work though because then she remembers her stupid wedding book. Her stupid idea that Lynn was alive and the Leanne would be functional and that for a moment she was the stupid girl in pink cashmere again full of naivety and it resulted in her being bitch-slapped with her ideals. She has Niagara 

Falls running down her face and suddenly she is in Logan's chest getting snot and tears over a shirt that probably equals her net worth.

"She's going to be ok." He says as he hugs her firmly, ignoring the crowds as she did for him. Veronica has no qualms dealing with this side of Logan. The two times he cried since Lilly died were in front of her and she had soothed him without hesitation. It never occurred to her how vulnerable Logan had let himself feel and how big of a step he was taking by letting her see his pain and hear his stories. It is Veronica turn to cross the line and admit she needs him, or at the very least wants him, to be there for her. So she does gripping him tightly letting her tears do her talking for her. She calms down after a few moments of Logan's reassurances and tight embrace. She pulls away and looks in to his eyes with a red-rimmed expression and a trembling lip. It's not that she's broken. Logan knows that. Veronica Mars is not indestructible but her mother being sent to rehab and him paying the check is not going to break his girlfriend. She is upset, let down and doesn't know that it's ok to be like that in front of him. So he brushes the tears with the same tenderness she had for him and cracks a joke about leaving the taps on, because she needs to know that he understands she is still ok.

"I'm sorry." She whispers when they are in the air. He's impressed she is having an intimate conversation without an escape route and wonders briefly if she has a just-in-case parachute in her bag.  
"For what?" He asks before refusing the whiskey the stewardess offers. Given the circumstances drowning himself in Jack Daniels seems a bit insensitive.  
"I should just be happy I found her." She whispers because she remembers the brief look of elation Logan's face held when he thought he saw Lynn. Crying because she got her mother back a little worse for wear seems stupid when the boy who held her together just lost his. Logan throws her a sideways glance.  
"Mars I hope you aren't feeling guilty that your mother lived while mine couldn't be bothered because that would be stupid." He throws a smirk on at the end and Veronica takes a deep breath. He draws their foreheads together by putting a large hand on the back of her head.  
"It would, wouldn't it?" Veronica knows her expression is slightly drippy as they lean together gazing in each other's eyes like the world hadn't just imploded in the last few days. "Thanks for being here." He kisses her like her mouth holds the Holy friggin Grail and the whole thing is so hormonal and teenagerish that they forget their surroundings until a red-faced stewardess tells them to do up their seatbelts and prepare for landing.

They tell Duncan and Wallace about Veronica's mom the moment they get home. They search the room for bugs and no one can stop Duncan from storming over to the Kane house to demand they call off Weidman. A framed picture of the Kane family, when it included Lilly that is, hangs on the wall outside Celeste's chambers and Duncan looks at it briefly thinking Lilly would be proud of the heart attack he is just about to give Celeste.

"Mother." He yells throwing open the double doors. Celeste freezes, water bottle in hand, yoga video still running.  
"What is it dear?" She should be afraid.  
"Care to explain to me why Veronica found her mother and CW in a bar in Barstow together?" Celeste 

pales slightly and walks behind the desk nervously. Duncan gives her a second to answer and then plows through the silence. "Or why Leanne received pictures of Veronica in a riffle sight?" Her jaw drops in shock. "Oh yeah I know. You leave the Mars family alone starting immediately do you understand me?"  
"Duncan let me…"  
"No. You harass them again and I file for emancipation got it?" Duncan has always been the rational one. The boy who did his homework, stuck up for his sister and entertained his parent's Ivey League dreams. There was no denying that Lilly equaled him in intelligence, she just preferred to use her intelligence to anger Celeste while Duncan lived to please. Any talk of emancipation was always from Lilly…and even then she was kidding. Before his mother can respond Duncan is slamming the doors shut, heart pounding from exhilaration. He always did was his parents said without question and now he was fighting back and it felt good. He calls Logan who picks up on the first ring.

"Is it done?"  
"I'd say the Kane-Mars war is over." Logan breathes a sigh of relief.  
"Did you try and kill her." He's joking but he's not at the same time.  
"I threatened to sue for emancipation."  
"So that's a yes."  
"I'll give you a check for the Leanne's rehab." He can almost hear Logan rolls his eyes.  
"What's time to a hog Duncan? Plus I want to do it for Veronica. I owe her." Duncan smiles a little. Logan's got it bad.  
"Considering it's my family that put her there…"  
"My dad won't know the money's missing DK." Oh yeah, they can read each other like a book. Duncan breathes a sigh of relief and Logan doesn't know how to react because people don't usually think of these things with him.  
"Apologize to Veronica for me." Logan yells an apology in to the background and Veronica's distinct voice says something incomprehensible.  
"She said something about it not being your fault and I'm supposed to invite you and Meg out on our date. This is big man I was planning on getting ass that night and you are officially cock-blocking." Veronica tackles Logan and Duncan can hear some swearing and scuffling in the background. A double-date, 4 people, his heart catches in his throat and he really misses his sister at that moment. Logan regains control of the phone and starts speaking through the laughter. "Anyways should be good times Wallace and Mac are coming. They say it's platonic but I'm sensing mad nerd vibes between them."

"Yeah…I'll talk to Meg." Duncan had a great time at the dance with Meg. There was no denying her beauty and she was funny and known to be sweet enough to give a guy a toothache. Contrary to popular opinion she was not Veronica 1.0's clone. Meg was open and that was the difference between her and Veronica. Even when Veronica was dating Duncan she always had an edge. A little bit of indefinable distance they were never able to close. It took him months to be able to read her true emotions and even more to learn how to deal with them. Meg was by no means simple but she let Duncan see her in a way Veronica never had. He knows when she's happy or upset because she never masks it the way Veronica did. He would never fully-forget Veronica, she was his first love and will hopefully always be a close friend, but he saw way Logan lit-up around her and the way she showed him pieces of herself it took Duncan months to uncover and he knew that he didn't want to come between them. Maybe Meg will only last until the second date but she deserves a trial run in his life and that includes being able to deal with caustic Logan and cynical Veronica.  
"Hey Meg, Its Duncan." He says calmly. "Look do you have plans for Friday night?"

Logan cares about Veronica. Veronica cares about Wallace. Therefore, Logan is forced to be concerned when he sees his basketball playing chum dragging his heels down the hallways. That and he was kind of growing on him.  
"Dude you don't look so hot." Logan comments as Wallace bangs his head in to a locker. Maybe Logan shouldn't have put that extra dash of cinnamon in his Snickerdoodles when Veronica wasn't looking. He thought he was helping.  
"Polly's gone."  
"Like gone." Logan asks walking with Wallace towards their Physics class. "Or gone?" He asks sliding his hand across his throat much to Wallace's chagrin.  
"You were not in homeroom this morning were you?" Wallace asks moodily throwing down his books.  
"Nope I was…otherwise occupied." Logan says with a smirk thinking of his well spent morning with Veronica. Wallace scrunches his face in distaste.  
"Thin ice Echolls."  
"Oh we're ice dancing now." Wallace rolls his eyes unfazed by the snark. Logan grins and thinks he should have let Veronica pick his friends earlier.  
"Some kids at Pan stole Polly! They threatened to kill him if I start tonight." Despite Logan's lack of Pirate Pride he likes being the best at everything and he doesn't like it when people play with his toys. Translation: He wants Neptune to win so Pan doesn't suddenly think they've got a better team and people don't take his goddamn parrot.  
"Talk to resident Sherlock Holmes?"  
"Mhmm, there's not much she can do it's kind of late notice." Wallace whispers at the teacher drones on about laws of gravity. "She and Mac are checking out the video at lunch and Meg is trying to figure out how the clip got in with the other announcements." Logan nods and makes a note to step in to see his favorite multi-colored techie and see if he can help. Ok so the sleuthing bug has kind of rubbed off on him and maybe Veronica's affection for Wallace has too.

"Mackie. I bet your thrilled to be saving Neptune's play-off chances." Logan says pulling up a chair beside her and handing her a pack of red twizzlers.  
"Ecstatic." She deadpans magnifying an image of a foot. "You realize you're girlfriend is psycho right."  
"No way, the head tilt works on you too." Logan asks with a giggle as he steals one of her twizzlers.  
"Shut up. Hey hands off the twizzlers!" Mac somehow slaps him and wrenches the twizzlers away at the same time. They sit in companionable silence for awhile as Mac messes with the pixels and Logan IMs Veronica who is pretending to be Betty at Pan High to see if she can get more info on the frame job. Logan hasn't had a female friend since Veronica. But even though their pre-Lilly relationship was totally fraternal there was always this undercurrent of sexual tension. Neither admitted it or acted on it as they both loved their respective partners completely but they had the ability to wonder 'what-if' that Duncan and Lilly didn't. His budding friendship was Mac was so simple and easy that they had become fast 

friends. Thank god for failing computer science. Mac peers over at Logan screen and smiles to herself.  
"Veronica told me what you did…for her mother." Logan's hand freezes. They really hadn't crossed any issue of importance. He loved hanging around Mac the week his mom died because she evaded like nobody's business and the only time he knew she even knew him mother was dead was when she squeezed his hand at funeral, sadness and sympathy radiating in her eyes.  
"You're pretty sweet for a spoiled jackass Echolls."  
"Well you know what they say…too much money makes people to crazy things." Mac rolls her eyes and they steer the conversation in to safer territory.  
"13"  
"I think your train of thought left the station without me Logan."  
"On his shoe the number 13." He speed dials Veronica who breathes out a breath of disappointment mentioning the guy number 13 on the team was sweet. Logan hangs up with only a natural amount of jealousy instead of his usual inordinate rage and he thinks that this is what it must be like to trust your girlfriend.

"Suit up Fennel." Veronica says with a wide smile dragging both a goat and a parrot cage behind her. Wallace has come through countless times for Veronica and unfortunately she hasn't been able to return the favor. Not that she wouldn't in a heartbeat, as proved by said parrot and goat, but Wallace's life has been smooth sailing since his confrontation with the PCHers. Needless to say she is exceptionally glad to stride through the school delivering the mascot and watch his face break-out in a grateful grin. She hugs him and wishes him luck turning to walk out of the gym. The thing Wallace really needs is to have her turn around and watch him cream Pan. Can she do it? School functions without Lilly are hard. It's funny because she has separated Lilly memories from everything but the stupid school sponsored activities. Maybe it's because she died in her pep squad uniform after washing cars to raise money for the basketball teams. Seriously, that is not what Lilly' last act in life should have been. Yet it was kind of perfect. It completely froze her in time. Veronica looks back to the gym hesitantly…her new best friend needs her. With new determination she walks through the door trying not to imagine what Lilly would say about the chiseled pan dudes. _Fresh meat Veronica Mars, Fresh meat_, or Duncan and Meg _But seriously does Duncan get off on virginity because he's not going to get laid this century if he picks them like this _and even Veronica's mother _Parents fuck you up it's their moral imperative V. Doesn't mean she doesn't loves you just means she loves booze as well. _Duncan, Meg, Logan and Mac sit on the stands cheering as Wallace shoots a basket.

"You came." Logan says with an understanding smile.  
"Couldn't let my BFF get to the play-offs without my support." Logan holds her hand and throws popcorn at Mac while Duncan and Meg crone sweetly to each other lost in a bubble of puppy love. Things would be better if Lilly was beside her shrieking about the undeniable hotness of jocks but she's not and this is almost as good.

"We need those interrogation tapes." Veronica says firmly sitting between Duncan and Logan. Duncan nods in agreement.  
"We also need to find who is getting my parent's money." Duncan says a little bitterly.  


"What we need is a plan." Neither boys miss the determination in her voice and both briefly wonder how much jail time they're going to get for whatever she cooks up. She chews her pizza thoughtfully then looks up with her ass-kicking smile. "I've got it."

"What are you doing?" Four hours later Veronica stands over Inga's open desk drawer. The key card to open the evidence locker was already in her pocket and she just looks up with a smile.  
"Inga has new puppies!" She says with a little squeal. Lamb doesn't budge. "Anyways Back-up is…getting on, so we are thinking of getting a new one. Isn't that just the most exciting thing ever?" If Veronica was dog crap Lamb would have given her a better look. "Well she put the pictures in the drawer and told me to go grab one." The intensity of Lamb's stare doesn't leave her and Duncan quickly swipes the stapler with the key codes on it. Duncan quickly turns and leaves as Veronica holds up a picture of Inga's puppies and asks Lamb which one she should choose. After a sneer from Lamb, Veronica quickly runs down to the parking lot where Logan, Duncan, Mac and Meg are waiting.

"Did you get in?" Veronica asks as Mac types quickly on the keyboard nodding.  
"My Mackie can break in to anything." The pride in her boyfriend's voice causes Duncan and Meg to giggle. Sometimes Veronica gets jealous of Logan and Mac's relationship. They are both so comfortable with each other and there is nothing between them, no screaming matches or mother slurs. Sure the first two years of high school they weren't friends but there wasn't any love lost they just didn't run in the same circles. It's not that Veronica is threatened, their relationship is similar to the one between her and Wallace: completely platonic. Someday though, Veronica wishes that her relationship with Logan wasn't so complicated.  
"Key activator." Logan quickly unwraps the key activator for her. They knew they couldn't steal the police station's and activating a card in the station when an officer can walk by any time is dangerous. When Veronica explained this to Logan he simply shrugged and came back 30 minutes later with a new one. One day she is going to sit Logan down and teach him the value of a dollar.  
"Ok Mars, you are good to go." Mac says handing me the fresh key card before high-fiving Logan. Logan hadn't wanted Veronica to do this saying it was far too dangerous with Lamb and the video cameras. If there is one thing his girlfriend hates it's someone telling her what to do and she immediately snarled back about him not being her father, which is a good thing because if he were, their relationship would be illegal in 50 states.  
"Be careful." He says kissing the tip of her nose.  
"I always am." Quickly, she walks into the sheriff's station only to be greeted by Lamb.

"I thought you were done picking puppies." He sneers whilst Veronica tilts her head slightly.  
"Jealous Lamb? I asked but my father says I can't bring you home. All our pets have to be housebroken." She smiles sweetly, grabs the sweater she 'forgot' on Inga's desk and holds it towards Lamb. "Wouldn't want to give you cooties." He is about to reply when another deputy calls him over and Veronica walks out of the main area and goes in to the bathroom across from the evidence locker. Being tiny has its advantages in the P.I. business and Veronica quickly folds herself into a ball and waits patiently. Inga checks the door and turns of the light. Veronica is doing her best not to be frightened but hiding in a bathroom cupboard, in the dark, right before breaking into an evidence locker isn't doing wonder's for her nerves. The sounds of her phone vibrating softly causes her to jump slightly.  


"Hey Supafly. The deputies are over at the diner it should just be Leo now." Wallace's whisper immediately calms her nerves  
"You counted 8" She whispers into the phone. The bathroom is at the back of the department and facing away from Leo, she is not worried about being heard but she doesn't want to take any chances.  
"Have a little faith in your side-kick."  
"Did Mac stop the cameras?"  
"They're set to go off as soon as Meg comes in. She is going to be on the phone when she walks in and they have a code-word or something. I'm just guarding the diner." Veronica smiles a little in spite of herself. "Meg is on the way up listen for her." Carefully Veronica untangles herself from her uncomfortable position in the cupboard to stand at the door and listen for Meg.

"Can I help you mam?" Leo's distinct voice drifts through the door. Veronica remembers it well, after all she did flirt the Crime Stopper's recording out of him. Of course she then got him suspended and things haven't exactly been warm and fuzzy between them since.  
"Ok, I gotta go see you tonight." Meg lets her hair cascade down half of her face before she flicks Leo a smile and tosses it over her shoulder. "Hi I'm applying for the receptionist job."  
"Oh I'm sorry the typing test in the morning." Expecting this response, Meg looks up with faux-distress before plopping down on the chair.  
"Seriously? This has been like the worst day ever." Quite the actress, little tears appear in the pretty blonde's eyes as she wrings her hands nervously. Ever the nice guy, Leo takes the bait and looks at her with genuine concern. Meg almost feels guilty but this is about the most risqué thing she has done in a while and she always liked Lilly Kane. The older girl had been too wild for Meg, who was even more demure back when Lilly still lived, but they went to the same parties and one-time Lilly chased off a guy who was hitting on Meg with too much zest. Lilly had proclaimed girl the 'most sweetest , perfect girl ever' and told her, with a little wink, to never change and to call her over if any more boys needed a talking to. For some reason this always stuck with Meg as a beautifully sincere gesture from the girl best known for causing trouble and only extending true kindness to Veronica, her brother and Logan. So although they had never been close Meg had found Lilly fascinating and always wondered who she would grow up to be. The fact no one will ever know is enough for her to forgo her morals for a day and 'get even' as Veronica would say.

"You alright mam, you sort of zoned out for a moment." Leo's voice calls Meg back to reality and she quickly buts back on the act.  
"Oh yeah it's just my friend dropped me off and is now half-way to L.A. to meet his sister and I'm stuck here until my boyfriend comes!" She humphs a little and Leo just raises his eyebrows. If Veronica hadn't convinced Meg that Leo was sweet and harmless she would have been running away at his look of excitement.  
"Well you can feel free to hang out here." Meg nods gratefully and engages Leo in a conversation about office life at the police station. Veronica slips out of the door and quickly hides in the evidence locker. The summer before Lilly died Veronica had worked for her Dad at the Sheriff's department. Not doing the kind of work she does now but filing and maintaining the evidence room. With a little smirk she 

wonders if this is what he imagined her using her knowledge for. It takes her a moment to find the Lilly Kane container and usurp the awkward box of tapes. She activates the lock this time before peering out the door and scurrying to the bathroom and Meg keeps charming Leo into not turning around.

"Jess how was your…" Logan's voice cuts through the Leo and Meg's conversation and I smirk waiting for the Neanderthal show. "What the hell is this?"  
"Mike, hunny I was just…" Logan vehemently cuts Meg off.  
"Just what Jessica, wanted to screw behind my back and see if I'd come crawling back?" Leo stands and tries to calm Logan down. Logan is shouting in Leo's face about decency and how if Leo wasn't an officer of the law he'd be threw the wall right now. The argument is enough to completely capture Leo's attention and mask the noise of Veronica slipping out a side exit with the awkward box.

After Logan finishes yelling and sees Veronica disappear out the side door he grabs Meg's arm and pulls her out of the office as she throws a longing look at Leo. Logan immediately drops her arm when they turn the corner.

"I didn't hurt you, did I? He asks quickly just realizing how roughly he had grabbed her arm. "I shouldn't have ripped you around like that." Contrary to popular opinion Logan treats women well, or at least most women, and he would never, ever hurt one intentionally. Not being close to Logan personally Meg only assumed this she didn't know it and he played the part so well she almost believed he was about to slap her. His rueful expression and worry was enough to convince her that Veronica hadn't made a mistake and maybe Logan Echolls was worth her time after all.  
"I'm fine Logan." He didn't know her parents. They had thrown her into the punishment room with 10X Logan's roughness and had often bruised her white arms. He considers her for a moment and then checks her arm for himself.  
"You're right I guess we won't have to amputate." They share a smirk and both go out to meet Veronica who is scuttling along with the box. Proving chivalry is not dead; Logan picks the box out of her hands as they walk towards the underground parking lot. Duncan, Mac and Wallace peer out from the car anxiously as Logan raises the box above his head like it were a trophy.

"See Mars, isn't teamwork nice." Logan says playfully putting an arm around her shoulder.  
"I've have you know the Logan played the jealous boyfriend as if the role were meant for him." Veronica says teasingly kissing him on the lips.  
"I am the original Jackass" A little bow accompanies Logan's reply. Duncan and Meg cuddle in the car while Logan and Veronica do their weird, snarky mating ritual leaning against the fender. Wallace catches Mac's eye when she looks at him sideways and they both look away like third graders.  
"So you guys ready for phase two of the date?" Duncan had, not surprisingly, planned this whole triple date thing for after their adventure with the B&E at the sheriff's department. Veronica was glad because it gave her awhile to think of how she could listen to the tapes alone. She knew that it was highly 

unlikely her friends would ruin the investigation by spilling information but if there was information linking Duncan to the murder than she had to listen to it without his innocent eyes smiling back at her.

"Where is DK taking us?" Being Duncan he has refused to tell the location of their date and had simply told Logan to follow his car which held Meg, Wallace and Mac as well. Finally we pull up to an old, Italian restaurant. Wisely, Duncan had chosen a location that hadn't been a location of his and Veronica's previous dates. The restaurant was formal without being stuffy and dinner went beyond civil to comfortable. Meg and Veronica had pulled a very teenage girl move and dragged a protesting Mac into the girl's bathroom to demand secrets of her crush on Wallace that we past the point of denial. Veronica told Mac that she loved her but she may have to kill her if she hurt Wallace. Logan was delivering a similar speech at the table.

"So you and Mac?" Duncan says with a chuckle and an elbow prod. Logan looks up from his plate of lasagna a possessive glint in his eye. To be honest he liked the idea of Wallace and Mac but it was his duty as her computer science buddy to defend her against the evils of basketball players.  
"I like her." Wallace says with a smile taking a bite of spaghetti before meeting Logan's face than rolling his eyes. "What Echolls? I'm not gonna mess wit' your computer buddy's heart."  
"That's good because I'd hate to have to rearrange your face." Logan says calmly with a smile. Usually this was the other way around. Wallace would threaten Logan with bodily harm, half-serious because he loves Veronica, half-joking because he is kind of fond of Logan too. Not the least bit afraid of Wallace, Logan would roll his eyes and mention that is he ever hurt Veronica the damage she'd inflict on him would be 10X worse.

It wasn't long before the girls got back from the bathroom and joined in the boy's conversation. They talked of silly things: "_Veronica you did not look like Manilla Whore Barbie." "Yes I did Meg, Yes I did."_, not so silly things: _"You threatened to sue for emancipation Duncan?" _and some things that were downright pointless: _"No seriously I think Meg is more Sleeping Beauty than Snow White." "What about Veronica?" "As if Veronica would be a Disney Princess." _

They weren't normal, far from it. Even Wallace, who had the least secrets of all, had a certain uniqueness to him. Then again they didn't really want to be normal. Sure, they had all strived for it in their own ways. Duncan tried to stop his grief with pills so he could blend in seamlessly again. Logan played the angry rich kid to a tea because it was far easier than dealing with a beyond fractured home-life. The urge to be 'normal' had a vice grip on Mac and she dug in to her parent's history to find the disturbing reason why normal wasn't going to work for her. Wallace had joined basketball, not a particularly shocking move but he needed people other than Veronica in his life and so his team was his sliver of normality. Meg, like Logan, hid her abuse in her war on normal, wearing pink and giggling at sex comments to play the innocent daughter of two church goers. Veronica had tried to go back to normal for the 30 minutes she stood under the shower after Shelley's party before she realized that her virginity, her best friend, her dignity and her boyfriend were ripped from her and that nothing would be normal again. So those six teenagers, laughing over Italian food, realized that they may actually be as alike as they were different. It was a rare moment of peace for the group and they didn't realize just how soon all their tentatively created harmony was going to be torn apart.

**PLEASE REVIEW and thanks to those who already have...even if you dont like it it helps for the following chapters im so not above begging for feedback**


	17. Justice for a dead girl

**Season 1 Episode 16:** Justice for a dead girl

**Episode Guide:** Veronica tries to be objective and Logan sees the bigger picture. Following the money leads to answers and everybody tries not to cry.

Veronica sits in her room staring at the Lilly Kane murder files on her laptop. Logan was at a party with Duncan, Meg, Wallace, Mac and Dick and she had begged off feeling sick. The sympathetic concern in Logan's voice when he asked if she wanted him to come over and watch chick flicks with her was enough to make her feel a little guilty about lying. Veronica didn't need space from Logan. No, she wished he could sit with her through this but, if she was going to be objective she needed to do this alone.

Sighing Veronica clicks the new suspect button and types in LOGAN ECHOLLS. He's first because he is the easiest: Two eyewitnesses have him in Mexico, he loved Lilly. His folder is colored blue the same way Koontz's is. It is closed and final, she never has to look at it again just has it there reminding her that Logan isn't pulling her away from rationality.

The second file is harder to create: DUNCAN KANE. He doesn't have an alibi, he doesn't have motive or anything else either. The one thing he does have is epilepsy. Veronica feels bad because she knows this is exactly why he didn't want people to know in the first place. Unfortunately, it adds up. The Kane's falsified their alibis, paid Koontz to take the fall and kicked Keith out of office when he started to ask the right questions. You don't go through all that trouble if the gardener did it. Resigned, Veronica fills in everything she researched about epilepsy. Duncan had been honest; the attacks are intense but easily quelled with medication. In fact, Duncan's attack on Logan was his first in years…Unless it wasn't. Feeling sorrow, guilt and everything else Veronica looks at a picture of the Fab 4. Taken at some random party they are showcased perfectly. Duncan has a protective arm around Veronica as he smiles a true, golden boy smile; Veronica's kissing his cheek, her eyes wide with innocence and laughter. Lilly is gazing seductively into the camera and Logan's mischievous expression translates as he pushes his lips in to Lilly's. This is ridiculous Duncan would never touch his sister.

_flashback_

"_Out all night again I thought you four would have learned something from last time." Celeste says in exasperation. Feeling embarrassed and apologetic Veronica gazes to the floor. Ever attentive, Duncan slips his hand into hers as his mother rants.  
"Neptune won state mom." Lilly says boredly. "It's like a rule you get trashed immediately after the buzzer." Logan smiles a little at that then quickly checks back at the door as they wait for the other parents to arrive.  
"Lilly that is enough!" Celeste explodes causing Lilly to straighten up a bit. If you didn't know Lilly like the three of them did you wouldn't notice the hurt and discomfort flash across her face as she adjusted to face her mother head on. _

"_I have long since given up catering to your whims to get my attention." Logan and Veronica slink back feeling out of place as the Kanes all glare at each other. "You are a selfish, spoiled girl and frankly Lilly it _

_isn't normal to act the way you do." Since when has Lilly ever been interested in being normal? "As if your own behavior isn't bad enough you start dragging Duncan…"  
_

"_Mom that's enough." Duncan says loudly from the couch. Jake looks over gratefully and Logan and Veronica exchange looks of surprise. It is a rare occurrence that Duncan takes on his mother. "It was MY idea to go to the party. Lilly wanted to go to the god-damn bonfire. I am the one drunk while Lilly is sitting in front of you stone-cold sober if you haven't noticed." Lilly had been sick the previous week and Logan's mom had been sent back to rehab. So for herself and for Logan she had uncharacteristically offered to be the DD. She had suggested the tamer bonfire so she wouldn't feel as bad about the fun that she was missing but Duncan and some other 09ers had insisted on the rowdier house party. "Lilly is the one who couldn't leave because I wanted to keep partying and she didn't want to leave me stranded. Lay off her." Surprised by the passion in his outburst, more or less fuelled by the alcohol, Celeste simply tells Logan and Veronica to go home and storms out to her chambers. Veronica quickly uses the guest bathroom and is about to head out the door when she heard the sound of Lilly's muffled sobs. Urgently she turns around about to go comfort her best friend. Duncan already is there though, stroking Lilly's hair gently as she sobbed in to his shoulder. Veronica always knew that Celeste's rampant disapproval hurt Lilly but it wasn't until she saw her crying into Duncan's arms that she knew just how much.  
_

"_Hey, come on, you know better than to listen to mom when she's like that." Duncan says softly trying desperately to control his sister's tears.  
"Easy for you to say Duncan you aren't her eternal black sheep." Lilly says sniffling "Apparently I'm jusnot normal."Duncan laughs a little and wipes her wet cheeks with his sleeve.  
"And that's why I love you Lilly."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah and Mom loves you too Lil. The icicles are just so far up her ass she has trouble feeling her heart sometimes." They both laugh a little before Lilly goes back in Duncan's embrace and Veronica silently makes her way to the door. Her boyfriend is amazing._

_end flashback_

She hasn't realized that tears started coursing down her face as she remembers the bond between the two siblings. Trying to stop the upsurge of conflicted feelings she lies on her bed and closes her eyes. Leaving Duncan's file open is a betrayal to him but not investigating further is a betrayal to Lilly.

If one good thing had come of this realization about Duncan it was Veronica's ability to see how far people were willing to go for their children. Abel Koontz was on death row, he would never get to spend the money. Maybe there was someone else to receive a pay-out. She holds the bug Wallace found in the pencil sharpener, the bug that leads to Weidman, and clips it on the inside of her pajama top.  
"Dad can you come in here for a sec." Keith appears at the door with a smile and Veronica knows she should feel bad about using him. She gets over it fast enough.  
"Can you answer something for me?" Veronica gives her best concerned daughter face and Keith nods 

and sits down realizing the conversation was going to be serious. "Don't blow me off or get angry just answer me." It's at that moment Keith wishes Leanne was still around. Luckily she stuck around long enough to buy Veronica her first box of tampons and deal with her first heart-break but she isn't here as Veronica really crosses the line to being an adult. Not to mention an adult dating Logan Echolls. Keith doesn't know how to answer some of the intimate questions only a mother can answer. _How do I know he's the one? What happens if I miss a day of birth control? Do you think he loves me? _Somehow he has a feeling he was about to have one of those pretend-to-be-a-woman moments with his daughter.

"Why would a person confess to a crime they didn't commit?" Keith has to try not to laugh. Of course it was about Lilly's case. Veronica doesn't freak out about love and teenage girl crap. He wants to hug and kiss her right there but, seeing as she'd be horribly confused, he doesn't.  
"Money, lot's of it." A contemplative look crosses Veronica's face.  
"But if you aren't there to spend it…"  
"Maybe someone else is getting the payout. Someone who will be around to spend it." Getting the answer she expected Veronica turns to listen to the bug. The advantage of being friends with Duncan Kane, he can bug Kane Software easier than most people can enter it.

"Rosa." The sharp voice of Clarence Weidman enters her ears. "Get me Amelia Delongpre." Oh how the mighty have fallen. A quick google check later she is calling Duncan.

"Hey Duncan"  
"Lemme guess…you need a favor." He laughs and I can't help but cringe a little.  
"No I have some information for you." I take a deep breath and his laughter dies. "I know who is getting the pay-out from Kane Software."  
"Pins and needles Veronica."  
"Abel Koontz has a daughter."  
"Wow"  
"Yeah." The moment hangs for a second. "So she goes to Loyola Marymount. Weidman knows I'm looking for her and if he gets to her first we lose our chance to prove your parents are paying someone to take the fall."  
"Right. Of course. Put her up in our LA home."  
"You have a…" I stop myself from asking a stupid question. "Of course you have a LA home…address?"  
"I have a question." The heavy tone in his voice tells me that this has been weighing him down for a while. "Why Koontz?" Great Veronica, an angle totally not covered.  
"I-I don't know. Why don't you do a little digging around your Dad's office and try and figure out the connection."

Veronica hangs up and is immediately asleep dreaming about the Kanes, Koontz and Logan trying to somehow fit the puzzle back together.

"Hm, so this is why you're failing Trig." Logan blinks up blearily to find Veronica standing up beside his bed. It seems like 3 minutes ago he took a study break and now it's morning. Oh god it's morning.  
"What time is it?" He asks in a panicky voice.  
"7AM." Throwing himself back on the covers Logan covers his eyes with a groan.  
"I have a trig mid-term in…1 hour…and I have only studied the first 4 chapters." Having done the same thing many a time before Veronica gives him a sympathetic smile then grabs his hands to pull him off the bed.  
"You better shower then." Ignoring his groans Veronica pushes him in to the bathroom and closes the door before laying on her bed and taking out her laptop. Duncan had brought up a good point. Why Koontz. She re-opens Koontz's file and googles him for the billionth time. Finding nothing of interest she shuts the web browser and walks around Logan's room. It always felt like a guest bedroom to her, impersonal and cold. A framed picture of him and his mother is the only decoration on his shelf. Oddly enough, it is an impersonal shot, one of those professional photos taken at a swanky event. A 17 year old Logan smiles crookedly for the camera while Lynn laughs, probably at something Logan said. It is hard to see the careful intimacy between mother and son in the photo but it's there none-the-less. Veronica is pretty sure Logan just kept it because Lynn was smiling.

"Wow Veronica, A file on Duncan." Her boyfriend's angry voice cuts through her thoughts. Logan is standing in a towel, which is so not fair when one wants to initiate an argument, and he is staring at her with disbelief. She hadn't intended for anyone besides herself to see those files. If her assumption was wrong the consequences would be devastating. "A file on me."  
"Yeah." She says, squaring her shoulders ready for fight. There is no apology in her eyes nor does she want there to be. "I have to be objective." Logan visibly deflates and nods. To be honest, Veronica didn't think it was going to be that easy.  
"Duncan's is still open." Remorse and pain runs through her because above all she really doesn't want it to be Duncan. Her lip trembles as she speaks.  
"All roads lead to the Kanes." Veronica sniffs loudly and Logan's face softens when he realizes she hates this as much as he does. "I listened to the tapes Logan and the abilies are falsified. Lamb could see through the bullshit coming out of their mouths. People generally aren't comfortable with people murdering their children…It would take a lot of love to outweigh a grieving parent's need for justice." As expected, Logan's face is unreadable. A picture show of worst case scenarios is filing through Logan's head along with memories of Duncan and Lilly.

"It's clear the Kane's are paying off Koontz?"  
"I'll have official documentation in a week." Veronica is uncommonly weary by the prospect of having firm proof of the Kane's involvement.  
"Then we stop." Throughout the conversation Logan's voice had been tired, resigned. It was clear that he was in his own world muddling through some pretty important thoughts. The strength of his voice, therefore, surprises Veronica.  
"What?" Stop? The case isn't solved. Regret for allowing Logan, and anyone else's, involvement trickles through her and she stares at Logan anger and disbelief on her face.  


"If Duncan killed Lilly we need to stop right now." Veronica is too dumbstruck to do anything but watch Logan's conflicted pacing. "I am not going to send my best friend to jail."  
"I'm not going to stop." Veronica manages to stammer out. It has never occurred to her the fall-out that may result from unmasking the truth. Could she be responsible for putting a dear friend and ex-boyfriend behind bars? This is the hard part about being a P.I. : you have to be able to handle the truth.

"Is this really going to make it better?" Logan says throwing his hands up with dramatic flair. "Are you really going to risk Duncan's entire future to get justice for a dead girl?" The look of shock, horror and pain that momentarily dawn Veronica's features is enough to make him want to hurl. It is reminiscent of the first brutal comment he made after Lilly's death. "Lilly wouldn't want that." Logan says but the cool glaze over Veronica's eyes tells him she's already shut him out. "Lilly loved Duncan" He is trying desperately to break through the wall she has put up but he's knows he won't be able to. Only Veronica decides when they go down and it's too little, too late now.

"A dead girl." Veronica says softly. "Is that what Lilly is to you now Logan, some corpse?" Oh yeah Lilly would have his balls if she were alive right now. Veronica blinks back tears and crosses her arms defensively. "Because Logan if I remember correctly she is the girl who used to make sure you were sober before you drove home, the girl who used to spend hours getting you the perfect fucking birthday present because she knew your parents wouldn't remember, the one who didn't touch alcohol for the whole month your mother went to rehab because she knew how hurt you were and the first gir…"

"Stop." No one gets to replay his memories of Lilly especially not after he just cut her down like he did.  
"No." The tears are falling down Veronica's face but her anger is far more powerful. "Do you know how much hell she went through with Celeste because of you? She went to the mat for you every time her parents claimed you were good-for-nothing jackass. She may have dumped you but she always took you back because she fucking loved you Logan. Even if she didn't know how to do it properly, even though she hurt you, even though she fucked Weevil it was always you she loved." Veronica is shaking with tears now and all Logan wants to do is engulf her in his arms the way he did at in Barstow. Lilly's love honestly hadn't been clear to him until Veronica unleashed her bitter tirade. Memories of Lilly float around Logan's head causing an unbearable ache that seems to radiate everywhere. He takes a steadying breath and says what needed to be said.

"You can poke my sore spots about Lilly as much as you want Veronica the fact is she would not want Duncan sitting in a goddamn cell living with the fact he very accidently killed his sister." Veronica gets her tears under control and she speaks confidently if not tearfully.  
"I need to know the truth and if you can't accept that, this isn't going to work" Logan suddenly knows what it was like for Veronica when they demanded she choose between her father and her friends. He's already lost her. Even if he says that he can accept it, which he's not sure he can, Veronica will never get pass his casual mention of Lilly. He's not even sure if that's something he can get past.  
"I guess this is the end of our tryst then." Logan knows he's driving the knife in deeper by calling their 

relationship a tryst. As if she didn't hold him together as his mother died to him twice and as if she didn't reluctantly accept his money for her mother's rehab. At this point Logan is so numb that he can't even feel the pain of the situation. Between Veronica's recounting the ways Lilly had, in her own sex-crazed manner, loved him and her definite end of the relationship it felt like the surge of grief that had surfaced when he first heard of Lilly's death came over him again. Veronica was out of the door before he had a chance to throw a biting comment her way. Later, when Logan walks down to breakfast, he finds a check paying him back for her mother's rehab. He almost wants to cash it just to see her reaction. Obviously, he won't.

Veronica doesn't cry until after she leaves mansion. She shed enough tears over Logan Echolls to fill the fucking River Nile and she'll be damned if she lets him have anymore. Her reaction is simple, textbook and very Logan-like. She punches a wall. As her knuckles swell and she bites back tears caused by something other than Logan she feels really stupid because now not only is she dumped, angry and depressed but her hand hurts. It feels like September again, the time when she first decided she was going to hold her head high through the mud-slinging and walk out with no visible scars just a dirty exterior. She feels this way because she is covering her tear tracks with foundation, a block away from school in the mirror of her Le Baron and she really hates that she's let him do this to her again. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. The funny thing is Veronica knows she isn't going to be the one to make a tear in the careful fabric of their relationship. It is still salvageable at this point. Couples fight and even though Veronica is irrational she is not unreasonable and she didn't expect her love life to be goddamn Romeo and Juliette. Actually considering both characters die because of a bitter feud over nothing maybe it does suit her. Veronica doesn't doubt it will be over though, the moment they are forced to interact again. Both of them are too stubborn, too hot-tempered and too mad to rationally discuss their arguments. One of them will undoubtedly deliver a verbal jab too hard and the other will be forced, by sheer survival instinct, to retaliate. As she drives into the parking lot Veronica makes her decision: she will not be a stomping ground if Logan strikes she'll strike back twice as hard but she's not going to be the one to strike first. She never is and she kind of hates him for that.

Logan doesn't cry at all. He is so conflicted he doesn't know if he is more angry or sad and all he has really learned in high school is that love is powerful but it isn't the most powerful emotion. Veronica taught him this when she told him Lynn loved him. There was something bigger than her love for him (Logan never considered it was her love for herself). It was the same for Lilly. Veronica was correct in saying that Lilly loved him. Sex, even with Lilly Kane, is not that good if you simply have lukewarm feelings. Again, there was something bigger than her love for him (Logan momentarily considered it was her love for herself but he didn't want to think about that just now). He doesn't punch a wall because he knows Veronica won't be there this time to clean up his mess and he vaguely thinks that if he applied the same principle to the rest of his life he might be ok. No love is not always as strong as anger. Logan stops considering this when he realizes he has been putting love and Veronica in the same sentence for the past 30 minutes without giving it a second thought. Logan parks a few blocks from school, thinks mean thoughts and enforces the concrete defenses he is going to need when he and Veronica start firing at each other. He perfected this routine at the beginning of his war on Mars. Initially it was because he needed to gather up every ounce of toughness in him to not feel bad when he made her cry. 

By the time September rolled around it was because he knew he had to sharpen his weapons because every day was a fight with her then and though she'd inevitably win some battles there was no way in hell he was going to let her win the war. He swaggers out of the Xterra as though a tiny blonde girl didn't just stomp all over his heart like he was a human version of Dance Dance Revolution. His biggest worry is finding out who is going to punch first and exactly how hard said punch is going to be. That's a lie, his biggest worry is the fact that he knows he isn't going to hurt Veronica anymore than he already has and that means he is going to have to take her verbal daggers and not retaliate with his own.

It takes Duncan 3 seconds to see something is wrong with Veronica. Her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes and she's wearing cover-up without having a blemish.  
"Any word on Amelia?" Duncan has thought a lot about why the Kane's could be covering up the murder. He knows all three of them are innocent but who does that leave? Black-mail, possibly but with CW around the situation would have been taken care of.  
"I'm visiting her today." Usually when Veronica talks about her cases, especially Lilly's, she gets excited and passionate. Right now she just looks pissed off.  
"Right, well I think I know why they picked Koontz." Although there is some female rage bubble that Duncan doesn't dare penetrate looming over her, this catches her attention.  
"And…"  
"My Dad has his medical file locked in a safe within a safe." The shock of finding that file had shocked Duncan so badly he couldn't even read it until hours later. "Koontz has stomach cancer, he's dying." Veronica jaw drops and Duncan knows what she's thinking: If you are going to die anyways might as well get 3 million out of it for your daughter. The bells rings and Duncan leaves Veronica to work out the significance.

Veronica is ambushed in the bathroom by Sabrina Fuller who squeals for her help like a bratty child. Someone has been accosting the valedictorian-to-be and her marks are beginning to suffer. Had this unfortunate situation occurred yesterday Veronica would have begged off stating she has too much work and not nearly enough desperation. Unfortunately, that was before she signed away her college fund to pay Logan him back for her mother's rehab. Reluctantly, Veronica agrees and Sabrina slaps 400 into her hand. Let the distraction's commence.

Duncan comes with Veronica to pick up Amelia. Logan's words ring in her head throughout the day. To be honest, he has a point. What will she do if it turns out Duncan did kill Lilly? The hardened P.I inside of her tells her that she'd have to turn him in: clear her father, clear herself…and ruin Duncan. The marshmallow in her says there is no way she could ruin him that completely.

"So…did you and Logan have a fight?" Duncan's innocent question brings her back to reality as they cruise down the freeway back to Neptune from picking up the pretty red-head.  
"We broke up." Veronica replies in a tone that implies that is the end of the conversation. Luckily Logan seems to be on par with the whole avoidance-is-key thing. For the first time in a while he ventured back to the 09er table while Veronica sat with Wallace. The rest of the school had, of course, picked up on the tension as the fight was even more exciting with the details being kept so secret. The most readily 

believed rumor was that Logan caught Veronica giving Duncan head behind the Wal-mart. Needless to say, she wasn't getting very affectionate looks.

Things are made worse when she comes home to find her father angry with her. Apparently, Weidman had payed Keith a surprise visit looking for Amelia. Veronica wondered, vaguely, if she should call Duncan and see if he was serious about the emancipation thing. She settled, instead, for discussing with father why he believed the Kane's were somehow involved in the murder. With a sympathetic look and a heavy sigh, Keith drops the bomb. A load of laundry had been put on before Keith's arrival, the contents: a soccer uniform. Veronica feels her face pale and her stomach swirl as she nods blankly and head to her room. An envelope labeled Veronica Mars is on her dresser. Recognizing Logan's jerky writing she opens the envelope with nervous anticipation. Her ripped check is the only content.

Logan has a physics exam tomorrow which means he should be studying. Instead he is acting like a pre-teen girl sitting in front of the TV with a pint of ice cream. To be fair, he does have a flask of whiskey in his other hand and it's an action movie playing. Veronica is beyond pissed at him and he's been acting so weird around Duncan that he finally just took to avoiding both of them. Did Duncan kill Lilly? The question has been swirling around in his head ever since he heard of his epilepsy but it wasn't until now that he was actually forced to think about what would happen if Duncan was a killer.

Today is even worse. Wallace is at the play-offs, Veronica has to spend the whole day with Sabrina, meet with Vinnie Van Lowe and see Celeste and Jake Kane. It's like all her least favorite people rolled in to one. Hamilton Cho, the guy who took over Sabrina's lead when the pranks started, was in the clear as was Caz Truman, Sabrina's obnoxious ex-boyfriend. A K-car however led back to Vinnie Van Lowe and although he had yet to say anything incriminating on the bug Veronica planted, she was sure he would eventually spill the beans. That still leaves the hurdle of the academic achievers dinner. Although Veronica has been back since Lilly's murder she hasn't been anywhere near the pool and she knows she has to view the scene of the crime. Scenarios of both Jake and Celeste murdering Lilly flash through her mind as they explain the scholarship they are offering in Lilly's memory. Lilly would be so pissed if she knew something academic was their way of honoring her.

As everyone mingled Veronica went out to the backyard. The pool stretched in front of her looking eerie as the moonlight shone off of it. Celeste no longer had ashtrays and the patio furniture was different. Veronica never understood why Celeste kept an ashtray there. None of the Kane's smoke and it was rare that anyone other than their children or their children's friends used the pool.

_flashback  
"Common dorkus the water isn't cold." Lilly demands as she floats in the pool on a floating air mattress that matches Logan's. Veronica shakes head no and adjusts her position on top of Duncan so she can easily bury her head into his neck. Duncan smiles and lazily lets his hands trail up and down her spine as he soaks in the sun.  
"Look at the lovebirds." Logan says mockingly shooting water at the lethargic couple from between his teeth. They have one more week until sophomore year begins and Lilly and Logan seem determined to spend every moment of it swimming, drinking or both. The four had always been close but spending the _

_whole summer together had taken them to a new level of intimacy. Logan's mother had checked herself into rehab causing Logan to spend the first week of summer petulantly holed up in his room. Lilly proclaimed to Duncan and Veronica that she was not going to spend another friggin instant being a third wheel and one of them better help her drag Logan's pathetic ass out of bed or she was going to make it her mission to make their summer as miserable as hers. So the three friends staged an intervention. Duncan dragged Logan surfing until he finally wanted to go on his own accord, Veronica forced food that wasn't cereal down his throat and forced him to help her paint her room. Lilly, well, Lilly helped take care of Logan's nightlife and that's enough said about that. Finally, Logan gave in, kind-of sort of talked about his feelings (not that he'd admit it) and promptly made up for lost time. The whole experience had pulled them together as four friends instead of two couples who double dated constantly.  
Logan splashes Veronica again and she squeals and tries to jump off Duncan but he holds her in place as a shield laughing at her distress. Seeing his distraction, Lilly jumps out of the pool and pours a cup full of cold pool water of his head.  
"Jesus Lilly." Duncan says as she giggles and hops back into the pool. "You stay in there or your head is going to meet this ashtray." Duncan says mock-threateningly reaches for the ashtray as Veronica, Logan and Lilly all are in stitches laughing.  
"Big words Duncan." Lilly says sticking her tongue out as she treads water. Duncan raises the ashtray and the next thing Lilly knows a water balloon is breaking on her head, thrown from Duncan's other hand. All four of them laugh as Duncan puts the ashtray back, pulls another water balloon out of the pocket of his swim trunks and throws it at his giggling sister. _

_end flashback  
_

"So who are you avoiding?" Duncan's voice comes from behind her.  
"You've met your mother right?" She says in response as they sit on the pool loungers. A hollow laugh comes from Duncan.  
"Can I ask you something?" Duncan asks disturbing the relative calm. Taking a deep breath Veronica nods.  
"You're fight with Logan, was it about me?" He asks the question like it is something he really doesn't want to be asking. It is amazing that all three friendships remain intact after the year they've had and Veronica doesn't want to ruin hers with Duncan by lying to him. Unfortunately, she knows she has to.  
"No." Duncan sighs and Veronica knows he knows she's lying.  
"Because before Lilly died…she uh…she walked in on Aaron abusing Logan." Duncan says with a mix between anger at Aaron and nervousness at breaching the topic. Half-way through September Lilly had walked into the Kane Mansion announcing to Duncan, with a mixture of pride and disgust, that Aaron Echolls had hit on her. Lilly had gotten over it quickly but the creepiness of the situation was never lost on Duncan who never let Lilly, or Veronica for that matter, swim in the Echolls pool without him or Logan around. He hated Aaron since that day. The hate intensified 10-fold when Lilly told him about the abuse. "Anyways Aaron was saying…he was comparing me and Logan. Things weren't looking so good for Logan" Veronica grimaces, suddenly understanding Logan's disbelief at her choosing him over Duncan. "Lilly swore to make him pay and it was never discussed again but I just thought you should 

know. I mean he's acting weird around me too and that's the only explanation I can think of." Veronica nods knowing well the reason Logan is acting bizarre around Duncan. He thinks that Duncan killed Lilly too. "Anyways let's go inside. I won't let my mom bite." Duncan says with a smile helping her off the lounger.

Lilly swore to make Aaron pay? There is a lot about Lilly Kane most people don't know. Her fierce loyalty, probably her only trait similar to her brother's, was one of them. Veronica knew that if Lilly decided she wanted to make Aaron pay she would. Then again, she died soon after finding out, while she was caught up in the drama of dumping Logan and ostracizing Yolanda. Not to mention making Aaron pay wouldn't be easy. Chances are she never got around to it. Aaron is lucky; her revenge would have been elegantly cruel and completely destructive.

"Girl, you should hear what people are saying about you." I look up at Wallace from my locker and squeeze my eyes shut. Logan has started. "According to Madison Sinclair you were screwing both Duncan and Logan for their money and you constantly flip-flop between the two of them. Oh and did I mention you are cultivating a crafty plan to steal Meg from Duncan.  
"Madison Sinclair talked to you?" I say with a little elbow jab. "Wait a sec MEG from Duncan. Not the other way around?" Wallace just grins and Veronica rolls her eyes.

Logan zones out as Mrs. Dent drones on and on about some stupid assignment. Between Duncan probably being a murderer and Veronica dumping him he has more important things on his mind than the cafeteria being renovated.  
"Veronica you'll go with Logan to take the pictures." Veronica's blonde head shots up and a look of pure horror crosses her face. Everyone knows they had a nasty break-up, hell Mrs. Dent probably even knows it. There is an awkward moment as everyone pauses to see their reaction and Mrs. Dent looks slightly conspiratorial. Veronica then gives a short nod and goes back to her notebook. Never one to turn down a challenge Veronica thrusts her head up and walks over to Logan determinedly.

"I'll do the photos on my own time." She says without preamble. Her gaze never falters from his and he can't see any sadness or resignation, just loathing.  
"Considering the story has to be written by tomorrow the only time you're going to have is now." Logan says tersely. He almost wants her to tear up or look nervous, anything to show she is not completely over him. She doesn't respond but grabs her camera out of her bag and walks to the cafeteria. Logan hesitates a second than jogs a view steps to catch up.

"So I was wondering when you were planning on telling Duncan, or anyone else for that matter that I am psychotic or at least unhealthily suspicious." Logan watches as she quickly shoots the only decent looking part of the cafeteria and snaps a picture of two of smiling cooks. Obviously Logan has considered telling Duncan but a little part of him needs for Veronica to figure this out.

"Well I was trying to figure out a way to work it in to the conversation and I just couldn't figure it out for the life of me." Logan says sardonically "I have it down to two options ok you tell me what sounds 

better: "Hey DK so I was thinking about that time you tried to kill me…you wouldn't have happened to have succeeded with Lilly" Veronica is about to cut him off but Logan silences her with his finger. "Or: Hey DK, you know Veronica little to pull theories out of her ass? Well this time she thinks you killed Lilly…thoughts." Not surprisingly the humor is wasted on Veronica who just turns around and glares at him.  
"How about Hey Duncan have you visited that dead girl we used to know? I hear something's hinky with her case." Logan realizes the full-impact of having Lilly being brought up casually and just gives a humorless laugh and head shake. A thin layer of tears is building up over her eyes and he is this close to saying _Hey Mars how's your mother? _He thinks it's at least something they are above that now.

"Hey Duncan." Veronica says into her phone a glaze of faux-cheerfulness covering the sob that really to come up. "Great the documents are there?...Perfect!...Ok." It isn't hard to miss the pained close of Veronica's eyes as she shuts the phone and bites her lip. Some sees this as an end to a battle, Logan sees it as an opportunity to drive his point home.  
"So Mars are you planning on testifying against him?" One of Logan's talent's is knowing how to get a reaction from Veronica or anyone really. "Will you visit him in lock-up? Sit by Lilly's grave and tell her how her brother is in jail but hey at least the right person is doing time?" Logan steps forward and drops his voice lower and more serious. "Do you know what happens to guys like him in prison?"

Each one of Logan's words is like a little knife and she knows they are meant to be. She just scowls and leaves before the tears start cascading down her face. There is no denying Logan has a point. Duncan is rich, white and pretty, he won't even have to drop the soap. Her mini-meltdown ends quickly and she runs to her car to get the phony patent documents. In her rearview mirror she sees Logan looking down at her with a disappointed sneer.

Duncan notices her red-rimmed eyes before anything else. Ever since the epilepsy scandal Veronica has a kind of sadness in her eyes he can't quite place. At first he thought the fight between her and Logan had to do with her flocking to Duncan's side so quickly after the fit. Wallace had privately told them that he was the unwitting cause of their first fight and the timing made it obvious he was also the cause of their second. Lilly told him the things Aaron had been yelling at Logan and the words had stuck with Duncan over the years: _"You see how proud Jake is of Duncan?" smack "I will never get to feel that way" smack "Because you have always been a worthless mistake." insert multiple smacks here!. _Ever since that day Duncan wondered what to do. Planning is what he does best. So Duncan researched his options, reading up on foster care (Logan would probably be abused their anyways), emancipation (Too young). He vaguely considered getting Weidman to blackmail Aaron in to leaving Logan alone but he knew if Logan found out things would never be the same. So nothing happened because while Duncan is a marvelous planner Logan has always be the one to execute. There was nothing Duncan could do so he instead became simply treated Logan exactly the same way he always had plus the third eye he had. He quickly gave Logan excuses to not go surfing when his blackened eyes told Duncan he would need it, convinced his parents to not call the Echolls after a view drunken excursions and never slapped Logan on the back if he had done something remotely stupid in the past week. Veronica's eyes told him that this fight was about more than Logan's inferiority complex and he instantly felt the urge to protect her. Old habits die hard.  


"Hey." Duncan says gently, walking to greet her at the car. "What's wrong?" Veronica's eyes water as she looks at him. This should be easier: get the answers, loose that knawing feeling of grief eating away at her stomach lining. At this moment she knows it won't be that simple and that's something she has never considered before, her last bit of naivety being shattered. Knowing who killed Lilly won't bring her back and neither will tearing them down. She'll keep looking because she still believes the truth will bring some peace. It won't be absolute though, because if it's Duncan she'll lose him and most likely Logan, if it's not she's probably lost Logan anyways. Veronica allows Duncan to hold her head to his shoulder and she thinks it's ironic because she's may be about to convict him from murder and he's nursing her mixed feelings. At that thought she pulls away.

"Thanks." She says awkwardly wiping her tears.  
"Want to talk about it?" Haha that would be an amazing conversation. She just gives him a look. "I didn't think so."He wipes a tear away with his thumb and for a moment they think how paternal this all is. Veronica isn't melting at his touch and Duncan isn't longing to kiss her trembling lips. They walk in to the house to talk to Amelia only to find Clarence looking at the phony documents.

"Duncan?" Clarence doesn't get confused. 10+ years of being in the Navy will teach you to prepare for anything but this…this is just messed up.  
"Clarence Weidman why am I not surprised." It's even more messed up that he is calm about this.  
"Where is Amelia?" The tiny, intrepid Veronica breaks in to their thoughts and shakes Clarence back to holding a front.  
"Gone." Both Duncan and Veronica looks horrified.  
"You took her." Duncan spits out. Clarence wonders for a moment if his parents bothered to fill him in on exactly what happened the night of Lilly's murder.  
"She left on her own accord." Clarence says boredly but he has to admit this situation is…interesting. He assumed Veronica had a key from her year of dating Duncan and figured she decided to hide Amelia in the last place anyone would look. Having a Kane directly involved in uncovering the big Kane secret is a little…unsettling.  
"Where did she go?"  
"Where would you go if you had your own Swiss Bank account?" Clarence briefly narrows his eyes at Veronica "She was exceptionally displeased with you Miss Mars, for neglecting to mention her father's failing health. Amelia just settled her agreement with Kane Software. Thank you for bringing Amelia to Neptune Miss Mars." He is about to add and Mr. Kane but thinks that might be a little cheeky.  
"You know." Duncan says. "You know who killed her."If Clarence Weidman could be backed into a wall this would be the moment. Since he can't both men are standing nose to nose as Veronica watches the scene.  
"Go home Mr. Kane. And may I suggest you don't look into this further. There could be…consequences."

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW...thank you to all past reviewers you seriously make my day 3**


	18. It shouldn't surprise you but it does

Season 1 Episode 17:

"Veronica." Keith says gently knocking on the door as the Virgin Suicides soundtrack wafts through the walls. He opens the door to find Veronica staring at a photo of Lilly being carried like a princess by Duncan as Veronica rode on Logan's back. It was the only photo where they weren't appropriately paired up but Lilly declared her pictures were getting boring and demanded some new poses. "Hi Sweetie" He picks up the photo frame and studies the picture. Veronica was wearing an expression all parents hope their children will never lose. Caught in the middle of a laugh, the shyness that usually accompanied her at that age was not shown but she was radiant, happy and innocent.

"Logan and I broke up." The handgun seems like a prime tool right now. Unfortunately he kind of likes Logan and, knowing Veronica, she might have kind of sort of been asking for it.  
"What happened?" Keith has an idea. The possibility that Duncan could be the murderer has hung over his daughter like a cloud for the past few weeks and no doubt affected her relationship with Logan.  
"Logan wants me to stop investigating." Suddenly he really likes Logan again. "He says it were Duncan we need to let it be."

In every P.I. or sheriff's life you get a hand-full of cases that you wonder if you should just leave untouched, or at least let the results stay private. Keith's first case was when he had to arrest a woman for attacking her husband and putting him in the hospital. The man had been a vicious drunk beating on the wife and oldest son constantly. When the man went to try and force himself on her 7-yr old daughter she had enough and slammed a brick into his head leaving him permanently brain-damaged. The DA wanted to try her for assault with a deadly weapon and Keith knew they would win and the kids would be sent to foster care which would be hit and miss in terms of continued abuse. The next day the evidence went missing and the case was of so little importance no one ever pushed it.

"It's the hardest thing about this kind of work hunny. Knowing when you have enough answers."  
"I need to know." She says with tears clogging up her throat. "I need to know the truth even if I don't like it." Keith loops an arm around his daughter and pulls her close as she let her head rest on his shoulder.  
"I know." Keith takes a big breath and prepares for his next statement. "Ok I actually came in here to tell you something and I know this isn't the best time but…Alicia and I are dating."

Logan is woken up at 4am by an incessant knocking. Hungover, and tired he slips of a bathrobe wondering, with what he knows is false hope, if it's Veronica coming with a tearful apology. He realizes it's more likely it's his mother than that and he opens the door unimpressed. A perky brunette in a ridiculous Joker costume is staring back at him and he wonders if this is a wacked out dream for a moment.  
"Are you Logan Echolls."  
"Not until 11am." He grunts. The only reason he isn't shutting the door in his face is he is kind of interested. She claps her hands and blows an excessively loud horn causing his head to split in two and thank fucking god his Dad is out.  


"I am your singing telegram." Logan's mouth drops and he is stunned out of making a witty retort. The girl rolls a scroll and starts singing.

I know we've had our differences but I've something for you  
You know I have another one so don't rip it in two  
I know that you hate the morning  
But afternoon delivery would be boring  
So please take this check of mine  
And do not ask me for my time.

Logan is speechless when the crazy joker girl stops singing and hands him a check for the amount of Leanne's rehab. The joker is about to leave and then turns around.

"Word to the wise. If your girlfriend is sending you singing telegrams at 4am you really should consider groveling."  
"Really I was thinking more like a lobotomy." Logan says when he finally regains the powers of speech. The girl just laughs and walks back to the car. 'Seriously, cash it' is written in her curvy handwriting and now Logan isn't just being noble he is not going to cash the check cause it'll drive her mad.

Hours later Veronica and Wallace stare at each other over packed lunches. The news of their parents' relationship had brought initial discomfort to the two friends but it was Veronica's careless comment that her mom would be clean and sober and home soon enough that started the fight. Eventually Wallace walked away talk with his basketball buddies and Veronica knew he didn't want her to follow. So she was alone at lunch as Logan sneered, Wallace avoided and Duncan…Duncan's faith was waning. All was leading back to his parents but he was convinced they didn't commit the crime. Who else, he reasoned with her, would they want to protect? Good question. Lost in her thoughts about loneliness and guilt, Veronica almost missed the engraving on her table. Weird she thought to herself before hurry to journalism. Can this day any worse.

"Ok Buckeroos we need stories!" Apparently so. Logan catches her eye from across the classroom and gives her a little smirk as the ditzy teacher continues to ramble on about bake sales. A knock on the door interrupts the class.  
"Package for Veronica Mars?" She knew Logan was going to retaliate after her singing joker stunt. The animosity between them radiated in waves and both were so determined not to snap first that they had settled for petty, ironic pranks instead of inflicted deep verbal hurts. There were a couple bitter word wars but they were trying out the actions speak louder than words theory.

Veronica looks across the desk as Logan gives her an eyebrow raise than looks away innocently. Unwrapping the package leads her to a small jack-in-the-box. She looks at Logan warily but, at the insistence of Duncan who is all together too amused by the situation, plays it. A couple spins of the handle later and the ripped up check pieces blast back at her. In all honestly she did want Logan to cash 

the check. No part of her wants to be indebted to him, and the small part that wanted to still be connected with him is constantly squashed by his sneers and looks he gives her now. In this moment she realizes she made a mistake. She shouldn't have sent the singing telegram and turned it in to a joke. A fire alarm rings loudly bringing Veronica out of her thoughts and she grabs her check book from her locker as they file out of the school. They mill around waiting for the ok to re-enter the building and Veronica calmly approaches Logan.

"Look Logan, just take it." She holds out the check to him but Logan doesn't move to take it and just stares at her.  
"I don't want your money Veronica." He basically spits out.  
"I don't want your charity Logan." She mimics his brash tone. Logan notices the few turning heads and steps into her personal space. For both of them it's like taking an involuntary stroll down memory lane. They can smell each other, feel the body heat and the hormones and the emotions that were so important to their relationships.

"You think this is charity? When have I even done anything charitable in my life Veronica? I organized bum fights." Veronica just glares at him coolly. "I did that because I cared – care-about you. If you were capable of human emotion you'd know that." The last comment registers and a fresh coat of hurt is momentarily painted on her face.

"You're right I do have trouble opening up to people I don't trust, especially the ones who have acted like incorrigible jackasses for a year." This hurts Logan more than his comment hurt her. Both of them expected that to be the case, Veronica never strikes first but when she strikes back it's at least twice as hard. Veronica had trusted Logan, not only with most of her heart but to do the right thing and be a decent person even if it was hard for him. Her face softens a bit and she takes his hand with the same gentleness she had at his mother's funeral. Logan is all the sudden confused, surprised and….relieved but all this is shot down when she opens his fingers and curls them around the check and removes her hands.

"Look Logan, this doesn't have to be difficult. Please take the check, I shouldn't have brought you to Barstow in the first place much less let you pay for my mother's recovery." The resignation and chilling finality in her voice hurts Logan more than the anger ever has. He pockets the check just to see her reaction. He shouldn't be surprised when it doesn't change, but he is.  
"Thank you." There is genuine relief in her voice (of course he misses the sadness) and she gives him a meek smile as she walks to Duncan. Logan thinks briefly that if parting with him really makes her this happy than maybe he should actually cash the check. Then again, he always has been too selfish to fully let her cut ties with him. He'll be damned if he lets his best friend get caught up in her tangled web of deceit though.

"Duncan I need to talk to you." Logan says calmly after Veronica went off to go call some woman about fire drill mandates. Immediately, Duncan senses the severity of Logan's voice and they walk into the empty classroom.  


"Logan if you are admitting anything to do with touching Meg then you may want to make sure Dick is in the hallway again." Duncan says with a little laugh knowing that Logan's loyalty is too pure for him to have actually done anything with a girl he was STILL seeing.

"Our opinions on the importance of sex were too different." Logan says with a smirk before turning serious again. "It's about Veronica." Duncan looks at the expression on Logan's face and immediately pales.  
"Did you get her pregnant? Is she sick?" Whomever gave Duncan the worst-case-scenarios book for Christmas really needs to be shot.  
"They tell me pregnancy is difficult without sex and as far as I know she is perfectly healthy." Duncan nods and sits down figuring Logan needs groveling advice. "She has a file on you. I was never meant to see it but she left it open at my house…" Duncan feels his blood run cold.  
"What kind of file?"  
"The suspect-in-an-ongoing investigation kind of file." The betrayal hurts Duncan more than it should. In reality he should have seen it coming. Between his epilepsy and his parents tampering it was stupid of him to assume she just wouldn't look at him; that she'd trust him enough to realize it couldn't have been him. Duncan just nods at Logan solemnly then jogs to catch up with Meg.

"Hey Hon." She says sweetly, linking her arms through his. Instead of giving her the usual peck on the cheek and cheesy nickname Duncan just nods his acknowledgement and walks with her, half-listening as she talks about Lizzie's latest scandal. "Is everything alright baby you seem…off." Meg looks at him with such innocence and care that he actually wants to tell her. He trusts her more than he ever thought possible. Of course he doesn't tell her because that little piece of information, 'Veronica thinks I killed Lilly', shakes him to the core and he can't imagine what it will do to his girlfriend.

"Nothing I'm fine." Meg looks at him skeptically but Duncan reasons it's better than having her look at him like she thinks he's psychotic and takes her hand with a reassuring smile. The rest of the day passes in a haze he is caught between anger, hurt, resentment and a little bit of worry. Not that he did it, of course, but he knows it looks like he did and he's not sure what Veronica will do with the information. Actually, that's a lie. Duncan knows Veronica better than anyone at Neptune. Sure Logan is catching up but he's only dated her for 2 months while Duncan dated her for a year. Veronica will make the most solid case possible and turn the information over to Lamb. It doesn't matter if it's him, Logan or her father no one can side-step her axe of justice. With stunning clarity he realizes what he has to do.

Veronica is sitting by herself again, eating ice cold fries and wondering how long Wallace is planning on holding this over her head. They reached a kind of understanding at her locker today made significantly less significant by her asking about Ben's file. Upon realization that Neptune was exceeding their fire drill mandate Veronica had tricked Mr. Clemmons into admitting the real reason behind the alarms. A bomb threat. The new, scary, sex-and-death type kid named Ben was her number one suspect…

"Hey." Duncan smiles at her and sits down with his pizza.  
"Hi." She says studying the conflicting emotions playing on his face. "Are you ok?"  
"Curious about something." Veronica nods and closes her textbook to fully listen. "That entertainment lawyer…Has your Dad found him?" Random.  
"Uh no. He has literally wiped himself off the map." Duncan seems to consider this for a moment. Usually Veronica would be curious as to why Duncan was interested in the Mars Investigations' cases. He had helped her father around the office with some of the finance stuff that neither Mars had a head for but he never caught the sleuthing bug. Relieved to be talking to a friend without an impending blow-up, Veronica lays rest her itching third eye and explains the details of how to remove yourself off the planet.

"Why are you asking me all this?" Veronica asks after 10 minutes of divulging the secrets of escapists. Shockingly Duncan falters for a moment then breezily lies.  
"Dunno, been hanging out with you too much I guess." They both laugh, falsely, before Duncan excuses himself, also falsely, leaving Veronica's confusion to be the only genuine thing at the table.

Twenty minutes later both Logan and Duncan walk by Veronica like they didn't know she existed and her confusion is replaced by dread. Logan told Duncan. Of course he did. For a moment Veronica finds this whole situation amusing because it is the Yolanda situation in reverse (except more extreme). Logan is the tattle-tale and Veronica is the wrong-doer and his anger is a lot more understandable. Veronica spends the rest of the school day trying to figure out a way to defend her file to Duncan. Considering she can't even defend it to herself the process isn't going well.

MaCaTTaCk: Why is Logan so moody today?  
VMars2.0: Umm...Because he's a brooding pile of wasted space.  
MaCaTTaCk: He's not going to cash your check.  
VMars2.0: I'll just wire it straight into his account then.  
MaCaTTaCk: Whatever I'm not getting in to this...More important matters he found this website... Anyways I know you are looking into the bomb threats.  
VMars2.0: Thanks Mac  
MaCaTTaCk: He misses you, you know.  
VMars2.0: Who?  
MaCaTTaCk: Playing dumb really doesn't suit you.  
VMars2.0: I know.  
MaCaTTaCk: Ok well I know I'm not exactly a vat of relationship advice but Logan is getting on my nerves so talk to him. Please? For me?  
VMars2.0 has signed off

By the time Veronica has reached the computer lab she still hasn't come up with anything to say to Duncan. He is sitting in the dark illuminated by the glow of the computer and she knows this is 

something she has to do. A casual glance back at her before turning his face back to the computer screen confirms her theory. With a sigh she pulls up a chair next to him

"I'm guessing you talked to Logan." Duncan doesn't look away from the computer screen and is pretending to focus on his game of solitaire.  
"You have a file on me."The chilling calmness in voice makes Veronica cringe and she desperately wishes there is something she could say to make this ok. The only thing she can offer is the truth.  
"There's a file on everyone Duncan. Including Logan."  
"Logan's is closed."There is no denying he has a point. Veronica just sighs.  
"You think I killed Lilly." His words aren't even angry they are just…hollow, and somehow she is sure that's worse.  
"I think that the possibility that you had a fit and that there was an accident needs to be explored as fully as every other possibility." Veronica tries her best to come off as calm and collected as the words make her sound but the tears and the vague pleading sound clue Duncan in otherwise.

"How could you think that even for a second?" The anger is back and for a moment Veronica wonders if he's going to have another fit and hurt her as well.  
"Duncan…Do you remember that day?" He scoffs  
"Of course I remember. Finding your sister dead isn't something you forget Veronica." He remembers? He could just be saying he remembers. Duncan's intelligence is not something to question. "You don't believe me do you? Unbelievable?" He storms across the room so he is nowhere near he and she wonders which one of them he is trying to protect. "

"Want to hear about it will that convince you? I thought she was a pile of clothes at first, the pool of blood clued me in kind of quickly that it was a person. Upon realizing that is was more specifically my sister that looked like a tortured rag doll I sprinted out as fast as I could. She was still warm." They are both crying now as Duncan relives the most painful memory of his life in full-volume. "She was still warm but not warm enough to be alive and the last thing I remember is realizing she wasn't going to wake up. So no Veronica I didn't have a fit and kill her I had a fit because she was already dead." Duncan lashes viciously before storming out of the room. Well that clears that up. How come this wasn't in any crime files? All of the sheriff's department's notes have Duncan in the shower while his parents discovered Lilly's body. That doesn't explain much though. They could have simply not wanted Duncan to be placed near the scene of the crime. People have lied to cover up less. Veronica sees Ben and Norris arguing out of the corner of her eye before she can further wallow in the betrayal of her ex-boyfriend she hops in to her car to tail him.

The first place he leads her is the Camelot leading her to nothing but gross motel rooms and skeezy hookers. The flower shop is more interesting. He unloads a gun and enough packages of fertilizer to blow up the SkyDome. The bomb threats are real. Veronica is pulled out of this very disturbing discovery by the ring of her cell phone. LOGAN ECHOLLS is scrawled across the caller ID.

"You told him." She says simply when she picks up. Logan never fully-understood Veronica's insistence that telling Lilly about Yolanda was her duty until he ended up ratting Veronica out to Duncan.  
"Of course. I mean what did you expect me to do? He's my best friend." He hears a resigned sigh on her end and he plays with the check in his pocket. Maybe it is time he cashes it she obviously doesn't want anything to do with him anymore.

"Well he bit my head off you would have loved it." He feels guilty because there is the slightest bit of truth in her statement. There is no doubt in his mind Veronica has moved on from him effortlessly. There is nothing more important to her than justice and he got in the way of that. Logan, on the other hand, feels like a punch has been delivered to his gut every time she laughs with Wallace or speaks to him with cold indifference instead of anger or love.

"Let's go for a ride." A male voice cuts through his pity-filled soliloquy and immediately gets his attention again. Veronica drops the phone and Logan immediately gets to his feet. He can't hear Veronica well.  
"Where are we going?" That's it.  
"You should know you followed me there."  
"The Camelot?" That's my girl Logan thinks with pride as he jumps in the Xterra and speeds off towards the seedy motel. Without paying much heed to stop signs or red lights he swerves in and out of the traffic trying to stop from envisioning the worst case scenario. Really though, when hears Veronica's panicked comments and shallow, unsteady breaths all he can imagine is that he is about to lose another woman from his life. It's going to be Lilly all over again and he can't handle that

_flashback_

_Logan yawns as he turns down his street. Getting up at the crack of dawn to rush back to Neptune was probably not the smartest plan he ever had but he needed closure. He drives by the Kane estate and abruptly pulls in upon seeing the gates uncharacteristically flung open and police cars swarming the house. A break-in?  
"Sheriff Mars?" Logan says jogging up beside the older man who looks absolutely haggard. "Sheriff Mars what's going on?" The deep sadness in the Sheriff's eyes make his heart race and he is about to speak when a soft voice interrupts.  
"Dad let me." He turns around to see Veronica. Her face is streaked with tears and she's trembling like a leaf under her father's coat. Why was she here? And why wasn't Lilly offering her a pair of sweatpants? Keith and his daughter share a look and Veronica gives a nod before taking Logan's hand in her cold, clammy one. Something is very wrong.  
"Logan…Lilly…Lilly…" Veronica's tears are fresh again and Logan feels his veins turn to ice. Someone hurt Lilly? His Lilly?  
"What happened Veronica?" The upsurge of nerves made any pretense of patience fly out the window. He needs to know whose ass to kick NOW. Veronica visibly collects herself before taking a deep shuddering breath.  
_

"_Lilly's dead Logan." He doesn't feel or hear a thing. Not her hand trying to hold him back before he runs to the crowd by the pool, not Keith coaxing him into the police cruiser or Veronica's muffled sobs. It's like watching a silent movie play out. It doesn't feel real and he can't cry which hurts him the most. He hasn't spoken since the revelation and neither has Veronica. Keith drives both stricken teenagers back to the Mars household because Aaron is out at a premiere and Lynn is at a spa. The matter isn't discussed it just happens. Logan wants to die the moment he gets to Veronica's room. Everything somehow reminds him of Lilly and the time he is sure to call "before". Veronica realizes he's crying before he does and she wraps herself around him sobbing as well._

_end flashback  
_

Logan panics at the thought of having to relive that all over with a bottle of vodka instead of Veronica to drag him through the first night. The pounding of his heart and the scenarios flashing through his head like a gruesome picture show have him as tense as a coiled spring and he waits behind the corner as he hears them approach. All the intense emotions increase 10-fold when he sees the fear on her face and the firm grip Ben has on her tiny arm. Bastard's going to leave a bruise on her. His first connects with Ben's face with so much force that his hand feels like he hit a wall. It does the trick though and he breathes a little easier now that his hands are off Veronica. This doesn't prevent him from delivering a second or third punch.

"Logan stop!" Hers are the only words that could ever get Logan to stop when he is on a rampage like that and he freezes mid-punch. "He's an FBI agent." That doesn't mean it's ok to leave a bruise on a woman's arm, especially if that woman is Veronica. He shakes out his fist but doesn't help the guy up. Without hesitation he follows them in to the motel room. The adrenaline caused by thinking she was in danger and the intense relief at realizing she is ok makes him feel drained and tired. That coupled with the memory of learning about Lilly's death, a memory he has pointedly never revisited, makes his head spin.

Veronica hands a towel indifferently to the FBI agent before getting another one for Logan. It isn't hard to see the confrontation scared him almost as much as it scared her and right now she really needs to be close to him. So as the Ben explains the situation Veronica carefully wipes Logan's knuckles free of Ben's blood causing him to look at her in surprise.

"Is it ok if he leaves? I want to speak to you." Ben says noticing the protectiveness of the boy and not wanting his comments to get under his skin.  
"Dream on Jump Street I'm not leaving you alone with her." Logan growls taking Veronica's hand. If anything this reaffirmed the fact that he still cares about her. In a very big way. His heart hasn't fully recovered from thinking she was about to be attacked the first time and he is certainly not planning on letting her out of his sight until he can close his eyes without seeing her in exactly the same position Lilly was in.

"Logan he's the real thing." Veronica says gently loosening her hand from his grip. The thought of a guy grabbing a woman like that, FBI or not, makes Logan balk at leaving his girlfr – ex-girlfriend alone but Logan knows the only way Veronica will talk to him again is if he doesn't interfere.  
"Leave the door open a bit, and I'll be right outside." He adds tersely before going to wait outside. The moment he is outside, Logan rests the back of his head against the wall and lets the tension drain out of him. There is no question it won't all leave until Veronica is in his sights again but for now he can hear the stream of her voice and he knows she's safe. Moments later he hears the door click and is immediately at attention wondering if Ben closed the door. Logan freezes with dread realizing he doesn't have a key to get in. Again, he calms, when Veronica smiles up at him uncertainly.

"Are you ok?" He breathes, turning to rest his back against the wall. Her pale face and slight shake tell him that she doesn't want to re-live the experience and he resists the urge to hold her and reassure her. The color is returning to her face a bit and Logan would like to think it has something to do with her feeling safe in his presence but he's not sure. He's not sure how to act now. Part wants to hold her, part wants to walk away with a sneer and another part wants to ask how the hell she gets herself in these messes. Her lips are on his before she can pick an option.

It's a quick, awkward peck not even fully on his lips. Nothing compared to the heavy petting and tonsil-hockey the usually engage in but she still pulls back quickly as if it is the first time their lips brushed each others. She was probably thanking him, or maybe she was reassuring him, but most likely she just remembered that he was too good to let go without a little bit of a fight. The darkness in his eyes as he stands straight off the wall and looks at her intensely makes her realize her mistake though. She's betrayed Duncan and him which means that, although he isn't comfortable with the idea of her death, he doesn't want make-out sessions in motel rooms. She gives her head a quick shake and walks away, embarrassed, hoping to god that Logan won't decide to use this against her.

Suddenly he has spun her back around and is full-on making out with her. His warm hands set on the curve of her hip without hesitation and she presses herself against him. It's really scary how quickly they lose their minds around each other. Logan is concentrating so hard on running her hands up and down the curves of her torso he wouldn't remember his name if you asked him. The pretty blonde attached on his lips is so intent on melting back in to his hands that all the reasons this is a bad idea has escaped her. Their kiss breaks and there is an awkward limbo. Both have so many questions and neither one has answers. The confusion is so vast it is causing both of them to simply stare at each other with eyes like dinner plates.

Lynn didn't give Logan much advice. However they did have one heart-to-heart when Logan started dating Jessica Smith in the 7th grade. Logan had told his mother with pride that he got his first girlfriend and Lynn smiled and listened to the story indulgently before sitting him down and having a very stern talk about how to treat women. She gave him the obvious, never hit a woman, only one woman at a time and never kiss and tell. Chivalry was not dead it was charming, open doors, pay for meals, make nice with fathers. She also told him something that possibly was the reason Lilly was able to treat him like a puppy. _You will make mistakes, especially when you are young, sometimes mistakes will be small but sometimes they will be big. If you fight all the time that doesn't mean you don't love each other and _

_if you never fight that doesn't means you do. Look in her eyes Logan and if she stills makes you tongue-tied and breathless then she is worth fighting for. Make the first move and get her to forgive you. _The rare words of advice were given with such gentleness and rare maternal warmth that they were forever remembered by Logan.

There was no denying that he can barely breathe and so he reaches out and brushes her bangs away from her creased forehead. Veronica's eyes fill at the intimacy of the gesture and she looks down. Finally, he does what he has been wanting to do from the moment he saw her small figure being man-handled and pulls her in close. He rests his chin on the top of her head and rocks them gently side-to-side. After a moment she pulled away her eyes still glistening.

"Thank you." She says, obviously still unsure what this meant for them.  
"Can we talk? Like the mature adults we pretend to be?" Logan smiles at the relief on her face and she nods. Without further hesitation Logan extends his hand and revels at the feel of her small fingers intertwining with his. He drives her to his house wanting the discussion to be private especially if they were yelling about the possibility of Duncan being a murderer.

They sit cross-legged on the floor with a box of take-out pizza between them and the air tightens again with the realization that this is going to be one helluva uncomfortable talk.

"Logan I'm not going to stop the investigation." For once her tone isn't defensive or angry. In fact it's almost regretful. "Right now all I have is that the Kane's covered up the murder and Duncan has epilepsy which makes him a suspect." Off Logan's crushed look she takes his hand and continues. "I don't think he did it Logan."  
"What?" Although neither have them has said the words 'Duncan killed Lilly' out loud Logan sort of took it for granted that that's what happened. The situation made so much sense. Duncan has a fit, Duncan ACCIDENTLY kills Lilly and both Celeste and Jake freak out and pay someone else a measly 3 million to go down for murder.

"He remembers." Veronica says obviously bemused herself. "The police reports state he was too unstable to give a statement so I figured he had a fit and didn't remember the situation. Today at lunch he told me about...finding Lilly…in detail…there is no way." She blinks back tears remembering Duncan spewing out the painful memory of finding his sister dead. A memory he had probably never spoken of before. Seeing her struggle with the thought Logan moves around the pizza box and gathers her up in his arms. She leans back and presses her forehead against Logan's neck. "There's no way he made it up." She finishes softly.

"What if it was him?" The thought of the brother he never had being someone's bitch in prison is enough to turn Logan's mouth dry. Realizing it is her turn to do the comforting, Veronica pulls his arms tighter around her before lightly running her fingers up and down them.

"We'll cross that bridge if and when we come to it." She says softly. "It might force the Kanes to do something more for Duncan."  
"Like put him in a home?" Logan says indignantly. Yeah Duncan has these weird, random fits once every 3 years or so but that doesn't mean he should be institutionalized.

"I don't know. I'm sure there are other medical options that they haven't researched or have blown off because they don't want to risk exposure." Veronica leans up and kisses a small, tentative trail of kisses along his jaw-line. "I know he's the family you never had Logan." She says gently leaning her lips right by his ear. "Believe me I don't want to take that away from you. " Logan nods and cuddles her closer, again letting her smell and warmth calm him.

"I'm sorry I made you choose…" Logan begins but is silenced by Veronica's finger.  
"Don't this is…a really, really shitty situation." She says before kissing him.  
"So are we dating again?" Logan says with a little laugh. Veronica shrugs and nods. Without a moment's hesitation Logan reaches in to his pocket and rips the check up letting the pieces fall like confetti around them. The surprise and joy on Veronicas' face causes Logan to smirk a little.  
"You're mother was always nice to me." He responds with a shrug before kissing her.

Veronica checks out Norris' house the next day and, at Logan's insistence, wears a bug. Also at Logan's insistence he is parked outside cramped in her Le Barron waiting and listening. After Logan's last encounter with Ben he promptly decided she was never to go anywhere without him again. She argued the impractically of the request and they settled on him being allowed to accompany her on the more dangerous outings. Being Veronica she had argued Norris wasn't dangerous and he had simply rolled his eyes and reminded her that the FBI thinks he is planning to blow up Neptune High. At the moment Logan thinks that would be an ok idea.

They had walked into school hand-in-hand this morning getting approving smiles from some and death glares from most. Duncan was easily the worst. Not including Duncan's fit the two boys haven't fought since freshman year when Logan called Lilly a manipulative bitch and broke up with her in front of a crowd of people. Like always, Duncan was quick to defend his sister and smoked Logan in the jaw demanding he apologize. Two days later they did some sort of male-mutual-apology ritual involving beer and an Xbox and all was forgiven. Needless to say Logan wasn't happy when Duncan to one look at Logan and Veronica's intertwined hands and promptly stormed away.

"Ah yes the middle school girl stomp-off very mature." Logan had growled shrugging off his disappointment. After all he hadn't expected the situation to go any other way. The undertone of sadness in Logan's nonchalant comment had been caught be Veronica who had simply leaned up to kiss him and had let her hand softly trail down his face.

Logan is snapped out of his thoughts when he hears Norris ask her out. For once it's not jealously that is his prime emotion. It's confusion. Moments later he sees the nerdy kid who had tipped off Veronica 

enter the house beside Norris'.  
"Hey Mac?" He says into the phone.  
"Hey Romeo." The sound of her typing on her keyboard rings through the phone and Logan smiles the predictability.  
"Would you ask someone out on a date for Saturday if you were planning the apocalypse for a Friday." Logan asks twiddling his keys thoughtfully.  
"Me? That is the only way I'd ask someone out." Logan snorts in response.  
"Well you don't need to ask anyone out you've got Wallace." The smirk on Logan's fast translates through the phone and he is sure Mac is blushing. "Whoulda thought my Mackie, who declared that a boy must be able to bypass multiple firewalls and understand encryption codes in order to be dateable, would end up with Wallace, a jock who thinks of computers as a means to an end." Logan gasps in pretend horror.  
"Shut up. At least I never egged his house."  
"Point taken."

Veronica opens the door and smiles at Logan adoringly. Sometimes she feels guilty for all that he's lost because of her, his 09er friends, Duncan, copious amounts of sex from vapid blondes. He says goodbye to Mac and she thinks that maybe he has gained a few things as well. Mac informed Logan that wireless was accessible to anyone within 100 ft of the house. That, coupled with the sketchy kids next door, points them straight to the heart of the frame job. Veronica yawns and curls into Logan's shoulder finishing the story proving that both Ben and the neighbor were out to get Norris.

"You smell good." He whispers in her hair as the South Park movie begins. In response, Veronica kisses him deeply let his hands venture under her shirt. "Mmm I've missed this." Logan comments pushing his forehead into hers. They make-out for a little while longer and Logan's hand dips down near her waistband. She moans into his mouth encouraging him to go on.  
"Next time we fight let's not break-up." Veronica says breathlessly and Logan mumbles his agreement before letting his hand slip under her waistband and onto her underwear. A loud knock on the door causes them to jump apart quickly.  
"Someone up there really doesn't want us getting lucky." Logan grumbles putting his shirt back on and heading to the door. Not too many people know the pass code to his front gate which makes him think it is possibly Duncan. Veronica seems to be on the same wavelength and stays neutrally in the TV room.

"Meg?" Tears are glistening in her eyes and it's obvious from the blotchy red of her skin that she has been already crying. "Come in." Logan says gently his concern surpassing his confusion.  
"Thanks…is uh, Veronica here?" Ah now that makes more sense. Meg and Logan are strictly friends by proxy alone. They have gotten slowly more comfortable around each other as they both have Duncan and Veronica as good friends (or more). However, there weren't at the point where they would come to each other in tears.  
"Yeah she's this way." Logan says gesturing her in to the sitting room. Alarmed at the sight of Meg's tears, Veronica turns of the television and walks over to the girl who now has tears flowing freely down her face.  


"Meg? What's wrong?" Veronica leads her to the couch and Logan wonders if he should leave or find some ice cream, something along those lines anyways.  
"You haven't seen Duncan have you?" Both Logan and Veronica pale and Meg takes a deep breath blinking back tears "He's missing."

**PLEASE REVIEW so i'll know whether or not to continue as interest seems to be waning a bit **


	19. Help me?

"_Meg? What's wrong?" Veronica leads her to the couch and Logan wonders if he should leave or find some ice cream, something along those lines anyways.  
"You haven't seen Duncan have you?" Both Logan and Veronica pale and Meg takes a deep breath blinking back tears "He's missing."_

Veronica stares blankly at the textbook in front of her. It has been two days since Meg came to Logan's house tearfully proclaiming Duncan was missing. The guilt settled in when she realized that her story of the entertainment lawyer has served as a how-to-escape manual for Duncan. Her father was already delving in by the time she had called. The 50,000 reward made Duncan a big fish in a small pond and Veronica wasn't exceptionally worried he would never be found she was just worried about him in general. If Duncan thought she was capable of killing Lilly, even accidently, that information would eat her from the inside out.

"So I heard Duncan Kane took off huh?" Weevil pipes up from beside her, breaking her out of her trance.  
"Look Weevil whatever you heard…"  
"I heard it was because you accused him of killing Lilly." The words make Veronicas throat feel like sandpaper and she really just wants to tell Weevil to get the hell back to finite mathematics.

"You heard wrong." Well not really.  
"But you don't think they've got the right guy?" Veronica is saved a response from her Dad coming in and giving Weevil the sheriff's eye.

"You didn't have to do that." She scolds as the sound of Weevil's motorcycle fades. "Weevil's a good guy." For a moment Keith sees his daughter dressed in bubble-gum pink wearing a naïve smile as she believes the best about everyone.

"A good guy? Veronica I started picking him up when he was 12!"  
"I'm not saying he's perfect I'm just saying that he's helped me out in the past and I was just returning the favor."  
"Consider yourselves even." He replies pointedly as Veronica rolls her eyes.  
"I'm going over to visit the only sane man in my life."  
"The one who gives his mother a curfew and asks me to respect the 6-inch rule?" Keith says with a laugh.  
"That's the one."

Roughly 20 minutes later Veronica is sitting on the counter at Sac-and-Pac drinking a slushie and teasing Wallace about Mac.

"So are you guys 'official' now?" There is nothing she can to do prevent the bunny-ears from popping up around official.

"We are so not having this conversation." Wallace says as he mentally calculates a customer's change and ands it to them with a smile. "And get down from there or my boss is going to get mad at me again." After making a big show of jumping of the counter and pretending to route through magazines Veronica continues.

"I saw her looking at your box scores the other day." She says tauntingly  
"She was looking at box scores?" The huge smile on Wallace's face makes Veronica burst out laughing.  
"You've got it bad my friend. But you have to promise me we can still have these special moments at the cash register."

"Well I have to say I'm a bit flattered you're still here." Veronica looks up at him with a quizzical expression. "I mean Mac called from Logan's, that's some pretty messed up stuff." Suddenly more concerned, Veronica stops slurping her slushie and raises an eyebrow. Mac was using Logan's expensive, high-powered computer to try and track passports to see if anyone had ordered a fake to Neptune. They had been hoping to find Duncan's alias this way.

"What do you mean? Did she find something out about Duncan?" Wallace looks at her incredulously for a moment then speaks loudly to the whole store

"Record this date in history this is the first time Wallace Fennel got the 411 before the little birdie got it to Veronica Mars." A couple titters break out among the customers who have no idea what Wallace is talking about but appreciate that eye-rolling and gaffawing from Veronica.  
"Am I going to have to tip you over or are you going to spill it on your own?"  
"Weevil broke into the Kane house like 20 minutes ago." He continues quieter. "Logan saw the police cars drive up, Mac said he nearly beat the crap out of Weevil before the cops pulled him off. He didn't call you?"  
"I forgot my charger in my locker, my phone has been dead all night." Wordlessly Wallace hands over his phone noting the distressed expression on Veronica's face.

"Hey Wallace" Logan answers on the first ring flashing Mac a one second gesture. Before the cops had managed to stop them, both him and Weevil had got some decent punches in and Mac was attempting to stop the bleeding from a deep cut in his eyebrow.

"Hey hon." Veronica says with a false-cheerful voice. "Something to tell me sugarpants?"  
"Besides the fact that nicknames really don't suit you?" Logan teases gently. "I tried your cell but it was off and Mac told Wallace so I figured you hear from him. I was kind of busy bleeding all over Mac."  
"Are you ok?" Veronica asks with concern.  
"Yeah it's nothing a band-aid and a kiss can't fix."  
"A kiss eh?" The grin on Logan's face practically translates through the phone. "Wallace finishes his shift 

in 20 minutes. I'll bring him to entertain Mac and I'll see if I can't distract you." After a couple lecherous comments from Logan she hangs up and passes the phone back to Wallace.

"Don't ever violate my phone like that again." He whines pretending to be grossed out by the conversation between her and Logan. The next 20 minutes are spent bantering and wondering exactly what Weevil was doing in Lilly's bedroom.

"Hello?" The Echolls house is unusually quiet when Veronica and Wallace enter. They share a look of confusion before heading in to the computer room smiling a little at the scene. Mac is rocking out with headphones on typing non-stop on the keyboard while Logan dozes on the couch. Smiling at the colors in Mac's hair bobbing to the music Wallace walks over and kisses her on the cheek.  
"Hi."  
"Hey." She says with a little blush. "Logan passed out at 11, I think I was boring him." A patch of gauze covers part of one eyebrow and both Logan's upper lip and right eye swollen. Despite the fact that Veronica knows the marks are superficial and that he has endured much worse, Veronica can't help feel a touch of concern as she walks over to him.

"Thanks Mac." She whispers gesturing to the neat bandages on his eye and on his hand.

"Yeah well you should see the other guy." Mac says with an eye roll. "Logan was livid. I'm pretty sure Sheriff Lamb is the only reason Weevil is walking right now. Hearing the police cruisers pull up really freaked Logan out." The sound of the sirens had caused Logan to not so casually walk over to the window and peer out. When he saw them turn in to the Kane house he had gone white as a sheet and had ran the short distance up. Although Mac didn't understand what was going through Logan's head she had understood that the situation was serious and was right on his heels the whole way up, which, she pointed out to Logan afterwards, was kind of impressive considering physical activity wasn't her idea of fun.

"That was how he found out about Lilly." Veronica says quietly as she gently pushes the hair back from Logan's forehead. The room holds and awkward silence for a second and Veronica quickly changes the subject. "Any leads?"  
"Not yet but I should know more soon." Veronica nods wordlessly, not looking up as she worriedly outlines Logan's small cuts and bruises. Seeing that the mood has shifted Mac and Wallace said goodbye and promised to let her know if they heard anything about Duncan. When they leave, Veronica kisses Logan gently being wary of his swollen lips. Logan moans and flutters his eyes open before smiling drowsily at her.

"You look beautiful." He says trying to butter her up for the lecture he was sure was going to happen.  
"You look like you tried to beat up a leader of a motorcycle gang." Veronica replies mimicking his soft tone.  


"Good thing I have you to kiss me better." Instead of replying, Veronica softly drags her lips over the bruise on his eye.  
"Always." Realizing she is not mad Logan just anchors her firmly his chest as they talk about anything but Duncan, Weevil or fist fights.

Early the next morning Veronica is reminded of her hatred of Neptune High. An awkward looking girl in a puke colored sweater with multiple ponytails hangs hand-crafted missing dog signs while a group of giggling sophomores laugh at one of the signs posted on her back. Angrily she walks over and yanks it off getting a surprised jump from the girl.

"Sorry this was…" Veronica trails of uncomfortable not really wanting to send the girl into tears.  
"Oh…thanks." The discomfort in Mandy's own voice is apparent and Veronica thinks this probably happens to the girl a lot. Unfortunately, between needing to find Logan and being late for Bio Veronica really doesn't have time to dwell on the unfortunate girl.

"You're Veronica Mars right?" The girl asks to Veronica retreating form. Grimacing Veronica turns around.  
"Sometimes."  
"Do you think I could like hire you or something? To help me find my dog?"

"That depends was he cheating on you?" The mixture of confusion and disgust on Mandy's face give Veronica the answer she was expecting and she continues "Lost dogs aren't really my specialty." The girl just smiles and says thank you before turning around to post more signs. For some reason Veronica feels a strange kinship with the girl. She was an outsider. Someone people laughed at and walked all over. Kind of like the Old Veronica with worse clothes and funny hair."You know maybe I could make a couple phone calls or help with signage." She relents, much to the girl's relief.

Later that day Veronica and Logan drive to the sheriff' s department.  
"Logan you need to stay in the hallway." The no nonsense tone in her voice causes Logan to stiffen but he is stopped from responding by Veronica. "Logan I'm serious he isn't going to tell me anything with you staring at him." Knowing she is being supremely logical, Logan just nods his agreement and sits on the waiting room chairs as she talks to Leo.

"Veronica Mars, long time no see." His tone tells her it hasn't been nearly long enough. Knowing she needs an in with sheriff's department if they are going to crack the case Veronica smiles.

"First off let me say that I'm sorry." Leo is about to interject but she cuts him off with a hand "I honestly never meant for you to get in trouble or get hurt." He reluctantly makes eye contact with her and Veronica takes a steadying breath as she continues. "Lilly was my best friend. Her case doesn't add up." Leo is about to protest but Veronica just leans closer and continues "Do you know there is a parking ticket that puts her time of death 4 hours off, that your own photos make it impossible for Abel Koontz 

to have a pair of Lilly's shoes…"

"Wait. How do you know all this?" Leo asks incredulously as Veronica takes a steadying sigh.

"I know all this because I have done everything in my power to get to the truth including using you and I'm sorry about that. If it makes you feel any better you are seriously hot it's not like flirting with you was a chore." Leo smirks a little at this. "But I am sorry for hurting you and getting you suspended I just…I have to do whatever it takes." Veronica is so used to dealing with Logan, who would require many more hours of explaining and acquiescing, that Leo's nod of agreement takes her off-guard.  
"Ok Veronica…So what do you need me to do?"  
"I need to see Weevil." With a nod he takes her bag and lists off the contents Weevil had in his possession at the time of his arrest condoms, 17 cents and a pen.

"Do you have that nail file and the JLO poster I asked for?" Weevil has been expecting Veronica since they've hauled him in and he's a little surprised she's taken this long.  
"Why were you in Lilly's room?" _Veronica Mars, never anytime for foreplay _Weevil thinks with a groan.  
"What better house for some B&E?"  
"I know about you and Lilly." Seeing Weevil immediately stiffen Veronica forces herself to soften her tone. "I know about the letters."

"Whatever you know that isn't all there is to it." Weevil growls angrily as he jumps off the cot. Those letters were private. It was bad enough when Lilly basically laughed in his face he doesn't need Veronica doing the same. Regardless of how his relationship with Lilly fizzled out, Weevil to got defensive whenever her name was mentioned and was quick to erect the walls.

"I tell you I'm close to finding Lilly's killer and an hour later you're breaking in to her room. What am I supposed to think?"  
"Look I told you what I was doing there. If you don't want to believe me, that's on you." Annoyed, Veronica stands to walk out of the room "Are you going to help me or not?"

"Not." It hurts in a way Veronica can't explain that she doesn't know if Lilly thought Weevil was her star-crossed lover or a toy she tired of. There was nothing about Veronica Lilly hadn't known when she was alive and her keeping Weevil a secret stings.

"Alright, alright hold on." He never expected Veronica to leave him there and he quickly weaves a story about a diamond ring. As he expected it works perfectly. Her eyes soften sympathetically and she gives an understanding nod before promising to do her best.

"So why was he there?" Logan asks without preamble. Knowing this will infuriate her boyfriend Veronica waits until the car is parked outside Mars Investigations to answer.  
"A diamond ring." He swallows hard but nods and gives her a forced smile.  
"Well I don't think he would've hurt her." Veronica is surprised by this admission but just nods her head in agreement. "He loved her."  
"You're handling this better than I thought you would." The smile Logan gives this time is more genuine and he reaches up to stroke her cheek lightly.  
"Well I have you." He responds softly and Veronica can feel the blush crawl up her cheeks.

As Veronica goes to help Mandy, Logan drives back to the Echolls estate to a frosty welcome from his sister and false cheer from his father. In some ways this 'new' Aaron Echolls is worse than the old. With his father projecting this new façade Logan is constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. Part of him wants to believe that the unhealthy amount of self-help books, the various classes and the heart-to-hearts Aaron attempts are real but he knows better. It's always an act with him and Logan is getting increasingly uncomfortable with this one. So he flops back on the couch listening to Trina beg Aaron to do a movie with her new boyfriend of the week, the ticking of his father's Rolex sounding remarkably like a time bomb.

"To my son Logan I bequeath my art collection along with the rest of my personal belongings in the house. In addition I leave him the balance in my investment account held with J.P. Morgan totaling 115,000." Boom goes the dynamite. He didn't miss the look of coldness in Aaron's eyes. 115,000 was not a lot to Aaron Echolls but his mother's art collection was worth well over 10 million. There was no way Aaron was going to let that money go without a fight. Immediately after the meeting Logan goes to his room and lies on his bed staring at the ceiling. Was this her way of protecting him? Giving him enough money to flee from Aaron the moment he turns 18? If it was she obviously wasn't paying attention all those years because Aaron would never stop being a forceful presence in Logan's life until he died and probably long after that. No, Logan did not need 115 grand and the awkward painting of a naked Geisha his mother loved, he just need his mother and his best friend back.

"Hello?" A groggy voice came over the phone. He shot a glance at the clock realizing he had been lying in bed thinking and dozing for hours. 2am was a little late to be calling.  
"Hey babe."  
"Logan? Are you ok?" He can hear Veronica shuffle in bed so she is sitting up. "How did the meeting with the lawyers go?"  
"I'm a millionaire come January." A soft sigh comes from the other end.  
"Well at least you can buy that Louis Vuitton purse you've always wanted." She teases. In spite of his moodiness Logan smiles a bit.  
"Yeah well I was thinking I would wait until the summer line comes out. Then again Trina will be hitting me up for money any minute now."  
"Are you going to give her any?"  
"No I'm going to take you out in style." Logan says devilishly.  
"Is it appropriate to celebrate an inheritance?" Veronica asks feigning ignorance.  
"No…but it's not really appropriate to jump off a bridge either." The shift in Logan's tone is obvious and 

there is a moment of strained silence as Veronica grabbles for something to say. "Sorry." He mumbles.  
"It's ok"  
"I miss you." Logan sighs truthfully, wishing he could hold the tiny blonde in his arms again.  
"Logan you saw me 5 hours ago." There is pretend disbelief in her voice but Logan can tell she is amused. "I miss you too." She finishes softly, thinking that this is way to cheesy for either one of them. They say goodnight moments later. Veronica sleeps dreaming of dogs, break-ins and disappearances while Logan stays awake wondering what the hell to do with 8 million in blood money. Really, it's better when they focus on each other.

"12 hours." Logan says before kissing his girlfriend hello. The girl Mandy…or maybe it was Maddy…flushes a deep red when he nods to her and he can't help but smirk a little.

"12 hours till…you buy me a pony?" Veronica replies with enthusiasm.  
"No it took 12 hours for my sister to hit me up for my dead mother's money. Well we were sleeping for eight of them so really that's 4."  
"I admire her patience." The funny thing is Veronica is being sincere.  
"Me too." Logan says with a smile before taking Veronica's books from her hands. "Mandy right?" Logan asks the girl who has been staring at him like a fish for the duration of the conversation. She goes bright pink and sputters awkwardly before her cell phone saves her from responding.

"Hello?...Yes I did?" Mandy's excitement is increasing and both Logan and Veronica look on interested "Oh you have?" The excitement dies down almost immediately as Mandy's face falls.  
"What happened?" Veronica asks, concerned.

"Nothing, someone was just playing a stupid trick." The hoots of laughter direct all three's attention to a group of 09ers high-fiving and jeering in the middle of the hall. Veronica raises her eyebrows at Logan who tightens his jaw immediately. "Lenny Soper…I had a crush on him last year. I put his picture in my locker. I didn't tell him but somebody did. He's gone out of his way to be mean to me ever since." Before either Logan or Mandy can stop her Veronica is charging down the hallway ready for a confrontation.

"You prank call Mandy?"  
"So what if I did?"  
"I want to congratulate you, shake your hand." Fooled by her fake smile Lenny takes her hand which Veronica shakes menacingly. "Congratulations you've been named the world's biggest cockroach. This award is given in recognition of your unparalleled lack of decency and humanity, bravo, you're gonna die friendless and alone."

"Hey everyone knows you're the biggest…" Logan's ears perk up at this and he is about to step in when Veronica steps back to Lenny angrily.

"Shut up. If I want you to speak I'll wave a sausage over your nose. You use Mandy again to try to convince yourself that you're not a loser I will ruin your life, got it." Lenny stares, dumbfounded, for a second before Veronica takes another step closer. "You got it?" He mumbles fine or something close and Veronica walks to Logan who is looking at her with a smirk in place.

"I can't believe you did that." Mandy says, awestruck.

"I can't believe you didn't. You want people to leave you alone or, better yet, respect you. Demand it, make them" Veronica storms off leaving both Logan and Mandy speechless.

"That's Veronica for go get 'em tiger." Logan says to Mandy with a forced laugh before chasing after his angry girlfriend. He grabs her arm and pulls her into the girl's washroom connecting their lips before the door fully shuts.

"That. Was. Ridiculously. Hot." Logan growls punctuating every word with a kiss. The feel of her laugh vibrates against his lips as he kisses her throat. The sensation of her cool hands under his skin makes him shiver with a mix of pleasure and surprise.

"So you like me in bitchy mode?" Veronica asks with a giggle wrapping her legs around his waist. Moments later Logan gives a moan of frustration and pulls away.

"We're not doing this in a public bathroom." Logan says breathlessly. With a smirk Veronica lightly bites his ear.  
"We're not?"  
"Xterra now."

"A man of few words." Veronica says with a hair flip as she hops of the counter. A couple well placed textbooks hide Logan's continued arousal as he guides Veronica to the back seat of the Xterra. Both walk out 45 minutes later feeling that their activities far surpassed that of second period English.

Later that a day a phone call informs Veronica that Mandy's dog was found on the side of the highway and had to be put down. Grimly, Veronica realizes that she has to close Mandy's case and focus on finding Duncan. That's how her, Logan and Meg end up walking with Back-up down the beach.

"Mexico?" Logan suggests thinking of all the times he's planned to run across the border. When he was 6, and didn't yet know what an angry father really meant, he and Trina had decided to run away to Mexico because they didn't want to miss their cousin's birthday party for another one of Aaron's premieres. They made it about 4 streets before Lynn came speeding up her Beamer trying to decide if she was more angry or relieved. Shock up from the thought of losing Logan, she hadn't let her son out of 

her sight all night letting him curl up on her lap and fall asleep half-way through the awards show. Mexico has been Logan's obsession ever since.

"Duncan hates Mexico." Veronica says thoughtfully. "What if he never left the country? The east coast?" The East Coast was what did it for Veronica. Mainly because it was far away from Neptune but also because of the fancy universities and snowy winters. Lianne's sister lived in New York and every year when Veronica was little they would travel to New York for New Years and she'd watched with wide-eyed awe the splendor and elegance of the whole thing.

"Too far." Meg mumbled. "Canada?" A whole country away from her parents Canada was Meg's dream. A place known for its kind people and beauty. She never visited but always dreamed of taking her sisters and herself to Vancouver, where they could ride gondolas and eat beaver tails.

"None of us are thinking like Duncan." Veronica notes with a groan. Mumbles of agreements curse through the crowd and they start walking back towards Mars Investigations.

"Look at this." Logan says pointing to the message boards. "This is usually where people post notices for surfboards, bands and stuff…It's all covered with dog crap." Neither Veronica nor Meg appreciate the pun but Logan laughs at himself as the girls pull the posters down. Maybe Mandy's case isn't finished after all.

Since they've run out of ideas about Duncan's whereabouts, Meg gives a sorrowful goodbye and Veronica drags Logan back to Mars Investigations to help her with Mandy's case. As Veronica makes her calls to the dog owners Logan tries calling Duncan again only to be met by the same automated greeting.

"Only the pet owners with big rewards have been returned." Over a month of practice has taught Logan that these moments she's talking to herself and not really to him so he just nods before getting up to get a glass of water. Hey can you grab me a pen from my Dad's office please?" He nods and starts riffling through Keith's drawers looking for a black pen only to be stopped by Veronica.

"You're hopeless, utterly hopeless." She says pulling a pack of pens Logan missed from the top drawer. Before Logan can respond Celeste's chilling voice cuts through.

"What did you say to Duncan?" She asks Veronica coolly before turning to Logan "Where is he?" She demands impatiently as if the two teenagers were helping Duncan escape.

"Wait...that sounds like the kind of question you'd ask someone directly involved an accomplice say." Logan says defensively priming himself for a fight. Although Jake loved Logan like a son Celeste had 

always hated the boy blaming him for much of Lilly's behavior. He had more than once defended himself and/or Lilly to Celeste and he was fully prepared to defend Veronica.

" I know you guys think I hate you but I don't." Celeste starts entering further into the room. "I just can't stand to look at you." Logan snorts derisively and Veronica just raises her eyebrows. "When I look at you I see all that's wrong in my life." This comment resonates with Logan who has heard it more than once from his father and his back automatically stiffens. "I see my husband's infidelity. Keith trying to destroy us. I see Lynn in her too small string bikini and it makes me sick to…"

"Then what are you doing here?" Keith says calmly stepping in front of the teenagers, both of whom are still on the defensive.

"I needed to ask them a few questions." The appearance of Keith made Celeste soften her voice almost regretfully but his hard gaze didn't falter.

"You don't need to ask either of them anything. You just leave them alone. Both of them do you understand." Keith's soft-spoken manner has a way of becoming instantly threatening. It's a little awkward for Logan to stand behind Keith being protected. Instinctively he puts his arm around Veronica and she melts in to his touch.

"You don't scare me Keith. If you were such a great detective you would have seen what was happening right underneath your nose." This is the closest to an admission of guilt anyone will get from the Kanes and all three parties are slightly taken aback. Veronica quickly chases after Celeste and makes a deal to clear Weevil.

After looking for lost dogs with Veronica and having a bitch-fight with Celeste, Logan is more than grateful to sink on to a kitchen stool and eat Mrs. Navarro's deviled egg sandwich she had left out for him.

"Is Dad still at dinner?" Trina asks walking with a limp towards the ice maker.

"Yeah. But he's not far, I'm sure if you really tried you could blow smoke up his ass from here." Logan says through a bite of sandwich. She doesn't respond and Logan covers his concern with a quip. "Hey Trin, if you take your top of before you get on the mechanical bull you won't fall off." She turns around from the sink and Logan is instantly reminded of his mother when she tried to protect him. A over-sized pair of sunglasses don her face and a permanent wince is embedded in her usually cold and calm features.  


"What happened to you?" Logan asks feeling a surge of anger and concern shoot through him.

"Nothing." Is her only reply as she stumbles by him, pained. Seething, Logan grabs off her sunglasses to reveal a gruesome black eye. As much as he really didn't like Trina he loved her and no one was going to hurt another woman he loved.

"Did that wannabe producer boyfriend do this to you?" Sure she was a bitch but hey they didn't stop him from loving Lilly. She freezes for a moment and Logan takes the chance and tentatively places a hand on her elbow to lead her to the couch. Surprised by the gesture Trina doesn't resist and Logan quickly retrieves and ice pack and a dishtowel. "Here this should help with the swelling." He offers.

"Thanks." She mumbles still stunned that her brat of a brother is having a moment of tenderness.  
"You're boyfriend what's his name." He waits a beat for her response then, finding none, blasts on. "Dylan, Dylan what what's his last name?"

"It doesn't matter." In her frustration she dropped the ice pack to shoot him a glare. Reigning in his anger, he holds the ice back to her eye and tries to convince her with the same gentleness that Veronica had used on him.

"Look it does now." She shakes her head and Logan can't contain it anymore. "Jesus Trina he hit you! Tell me his god-damn name." Logan's mask of indifference is nothing compared to Trina's and she is suddenly the ice bitch again.

"You have made it clear that you have no interests in my problems Logan. Don't be wishy-washy. It's so unattractive in a guy." With an affected sniff she leaves the ice pack on the couch and wordlessly returns to her room. Olive branch broken.

Logan leans on Veronica's locker the next morning, waiting anxiously for his girlfriend as he replays the events with Trina over and over in his head. Her blonde head bobs out of the crowd with Wallace as she laughs at one of his jokes.

"Now this is a step-up in locket decorations." Veronica says with a smile planting a soft kiss on Logan's cheek. The gesture makes a small bit of tension drain out of his system but not enough to get the look of worry off his face.  
"I gotta talk to you."  
"Ok whats wr…" Her cell phone buzzes and she flashes him a deeply sorry look before flipping open the phone.

"Hello? Yes this is Brigit." Veronica speeds through the phone call promising to send her brother, otherwise known as Wallace to pick up the dog. The moment she hangs up the bell rings.

"Logan I have a test…Can it wait until lunch?" Knowing she won't be able to do anything until school is out Logan reluctantly agrees and she gives him a rueful smile before running to class.

Two hours later she is waiting outside his physics classroom, casually leaning against the doorframe.  
"Hey." The concern is evident in her tone.  
"Hi." He says quickly dragging her into an empty classroom.  
"Is everything ok?"  
"No. I need you to track down Trina's leech of the week boyfriend." The anger and tension are evident on Logan's face and her heart rate suddenly increases.  
"What did he do."  
"Beat her up." Logan says gesturing to his face remembering Trina's black eye too vividly. "I plan on returning the favor." There is no point in trying to stop Logan from kicking the crap out of some guy who hit his sister so Veronica promises to look after her adventures with the dog knappers.

The Mexican man who returned the dog denies being the thief and, unfortunately, does not speak English. All Veronica gets from the meeting is that the main guy is a white male who likes to spank busty women, like that narrows down the list. Sighing with frustration Veronica returns to Mars Investigations to find Logan pacing anxiously in the waiting area.

"Do you know his name?" She asks hopefully after giving him a quick kiss hello.  
"All I know is his first name's Dylan and he's producing this steamer." Logan says sardonically, passing the screenplay to me as she goes behind the desk.  
"Easy." He looks relieved and Veronica can't help but think it's a little impressive how much he can still love his family after all they done to him. "Hi I'm calling from Tod Russell's office at CAA. He read your script _Escaping Your Past _and he went nuts over it…Have you sold it yet?..Really?...Who's producing it?" Is that G-O-R-A-N?...Great I'm sure he'll want to speak with him.  
"Is there really an agent named Tod Russell who works at CAA?" Logan asks before coming up behind her to read over her shoulder.  
"Could be…maybe."  
"Looks like Trina's Romeo is having a little trouble with the ladies. Two women have filed restraining orders against him in the past 5 years." Logan calls his Dad but is hung up on before he can get the word. Frustrated, Logan goes to his car closely flanked by Veronica who is nervously anticipating an Echolls family fight.

The silence in the car is awkward and heavy as both their imaginations run wild with possible scenerios. When they pull up to the mansion Logan protectively takes Veronica's hand and leads her to the back of the house. The closer they get the more apparent the sounds of screaming and fighting become and the 

couple exchanges a look before breaking into a run. Veronica's face twists in horror as she watches Aaron crack the belt down on a screaming Dylan.

"Oh hey son. How was school?" Logan's eyes flit between Trina and his father "I think I'll see this young man to his car." Much to Dylan's displeasure, Aaron grabs him up by the scruff of his neck and leads him to the front car park. As soon as Aaron rounds the corner the trio seems to come out of there trance and Logan quickly walks up to his sobbing sister.

"I guess you got him off your back." He says with a forced laugh. She doesn't respond just continues to stare at the place where Dylan was. "C'mon let's go inside." Logan says softer, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"God Logan I'm not a child." She spits out before spinning on her heel and storming into the house. _Well Veronica, welcome to the real Echolls family _Logan thinks with a little groan as he turns around to see his pale-faced girlfriend, horror taking over her entire face.

"Are you ok?" It was a rare occurrence to see Veronica this shaken up and he was more than a little concerned. She just nods mutely before numbly following him to the car. Not a very convincing argument. The ride home was even more strained and Veronica just stares silently out the window the whole time oblivious to the growing concern and dread on Logan's face. Logan parks the car and both sit. Unmoving, for a moment until he hears an incriminating sniff from Veronica. Without hesitation Logan pushes her hair behind her ears so he could get a view of her tear-streaked face.

"What's wrong?" He asks as he wipes one of the fallen tears away. Without saying anything she unbuckles her seatbelt and crawls into his lap, anchoring her arms firmly around his neck as she nuzzles in to his chest. Confused, but not complaining, Logan tightly wraps his arms around and plants a kiss on her head  
"All I could see was him doing that to you." Veronica finally whispers, so softly that Logan can barely hear her. His heart catches in his throat and he reclines the seat back fully so he can cradle her closer. They had never really talked about Logan's abuse. She had cleaned him up and he had allowed her to be tender with him but they never actually spoke about what happened in that office or how much it all affected Logan.

"It's ok." He mutters into her hair as she settles her head into the crook of his neck and starts running her hands along his chest, assuring herself that he was still there.

"No Logan, it's really not." She says sitting up and wiping the tears off her face with the back of her hand.

"I can't stand the thought of someone hurting you like that. " Logan gave a cheerless smile and reaches

up to cup her cheek.

"It doesn't happen very much since Mom and I'll be out soon enough." He replies, reassuringly leaning up to give her a quick kiss. "Don't worry."

"I don't know how you expect me to do that." Veronica says sadly before jumping out of the car and walking to her apartment. It was unnerving how Logan just expects Veronica to just shrug off his abuse. True his father has lain off a bit since Lynn died but there was still a rough shove or two not to mention the continuing emotional abuse. What had started out as your average high school romance had quickly progressed into something much more intense. Sometimes, when Veronica really thinks about it, she figures that she might love Logan. How is she supposed to blatantly ignore the pain of someone she cares for so much?

The next day Veronica finds Mandy and lets her know of her plan to prove the guys from the pound are dog-knapping pure bred dogs from the 09er zip and holding them ransom. Between Duncan missing and her growing concern for Logan she needs a project and what better direction to channel her pent up frustration? The girls agree to meet at 7 and Veronica gets the last member of her team.

"Hey Deputy." She says with a smile as Leo pours himself a cup of coffee.  
"What can I do you for Veronica?" Thankfully he seems more amused than upset and Veronica quickly fills him in on the case. Excited at the prospect of yelling and arresting, Leo grabs his piece and agrees to meet her, Wallace and Mandy at the pound. As per usual, Veronica was right and the missing dogs were returned to their rightful owners. Even Mandy's dog was alive and after Hanz had an unfortunate run-in with Veronica's tazor, he gave up the address.

"Hey Leo can I ask you kind of a weird question?"  
"Do you ask any other kind of question?" Leo says with a smirk.  
"When Weevil was arrested you said he had a pen on him. Are you sure it wasn't a pencil." The mistake seems common enough but Veronica couldn't shake the feeling that something didn't add up with Weevil's diamond ring story. Lilly may have been a bit of a Snow Queen but if Weevil had gotten the wrong idea and given her that ring, she wouldn't have accepted it or she would have given it back when she got back together with Logan.  
"No it was definitely a pen. Pretty girly one too, pink, plastic." Oh yeah, she knows the one.

_flashback_

"_God why is Logan taking so long?" Lilly whines looking out the window of Logan's Xterra. They were going to the beach to celebrate the beginning of summer and Duncan and Logan had been in the Echolls house for the past 10 minutes while Veronica and Lilly waited, with dwindling patience, in the car.  
"Duncan is probably doing his hair." Veronica jokes causing Lilly to giggle at the image.  
"Oh my god you'll never guess what I found in my cereal box this morning!" Lilly gasps suddenly excited as she pulls an obnoxiously girly pen out of her purse. "Look it's a spy pen."  
_

"_Oh what's a spy pen?" Veronica asks with a giggle as Lilly pops the top of to show the hollow opening.  
"I'm going to use it to pass notes to all my lovers."  
"This is going to be a very busy little pen." Lilly nods in agreement sending both girls into a fit of giggles_

_end flashback_

Weevil lied. Veronica dwells on this as she enters the apartment. Why would Weevil sneak back in to the Kane house to steal back a couple of love letters? And, if he did, why wouldn't have just told her?

"Honey I know you don't always have a curfew these days but you're starting to make me look bad." Keith says. If Veronica wasn't so focused of Weevil she may have questioned why Keith had his briefcase in the bathroom.  
"So you knew Weevil stalked Lilly. You questioned him. What convinced you he wasn't the guy?" These are the moments that Veronica has to force herself to think in PI mode and see Weevil the leader of the motorcycle gang not Eli her friend.

"We searched him, his home, DNA, all that stuff and nothing came up. He also had an airtight alibi. Common, I'll show yah." When Veronica had initially started looking into Lilly's case, Keith had made a point of trying to involve her as little as possible. To others she might have been a hardened PI in training but, to Keith, she was still his little girl who used to feel sorry for prisoners. As the year wore on though, Veronica broke him down. She proved herself able to be objective and dogged but had managed to not get herself so obsessed that her life lacked anything else.

"Weevil was on community service detail from 12pm to 4pm. A dozen people saw it and his time card confirms it." Keith says pulling down the infamous Playboys box. Veronica had discovered it months earlier when she had been looking in her Dad's closet for an old photo album and she had knocked it over, spilling Lilly Kane research all over the ground.

"And now that we know Lilly's time of death is well after 4?" Keith thinks for a minute than continues.  
"The Kanes covered up Lilly's murder. We know that. You think they'd go through all that for someone like Weevil?"

"True, but what if they didn't know they were covering for Weevil? Duncan says he found Lilly and then had one of his fits. What if the Kanes thought they were covering for Duncan?" Veronica says not believing she hadn't thought of this before. If the Jake and Celeste thought Duncan killed Lilly and accidently covered for him then the investigation is back where it began.

"Weevil, wait." Veronica says running up to him in the hallway. "The night you broke into the Kane house I gave you a pencil. You were found with a pen." Weevil smirks a little bit then pulls a pen out of his pocket.

"You mean this? You can have it." He pulls the spy pen out of his pocket and hands it to Veronica who immediately looks inside.  
"Any messages in there when you found it?" She comments angrily. "Messages from you, perhaps?"  
"Now if I told you it wouldn't really be a secret message pen. Would it?"

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	20. Ice Breaker

Season 1 Episode 19: Ice Breaker

Episode Guide: Veronica helps a friend and finds some information that could change her perception forever.

"Uh-oh someone's got their eye on the Miss White Trash title." Veronica looks up from the fuming hood of her car to glare at him and Beaver.

"You know you've got solid effort in the talent portion but I'd like to see that car up on some blocks." Before Veronica can respond Logan has his hands tightly clenching the back of each of the boy's necks.

"Dick your nose just healed from the last time you insulted my girlfriend. Apologize, I would hate to have to break it again." Logan's voice is a forced calm, something both Veronica and Dick had come to recognize as his most dangerous.

'C'mon Logan we we're just playing." Dick mumbles defensively. Veronica smiles at Logan over Dick's shoulder obviously trying to hold in a laugh at both Dick's expression and Logan's over-protectiveness. Realizing he misjudged the severity he let's go of Dicks neck but not without giving him a little shove for good measure. The Caasablancas brothers walk off grumpily as Logan strolls over to Veronica.

"Need some help?"  
"I'm sorry, you know how to fix a car? I thought you had people for that?" Logan snorts and cuts a piece of his apple off with his pocketknife. Veronica holds her hand out and he hands it to her and she cuts a tube, re-positions it then smiles with satisfaction as the car starts up. He waits for her to park the car, flipping off a grumbling jock behind her. The second they walk into the school Logan pulls her into the bathroom and slaps up an out of order sign.

"Are we ok?" He says his lips a tantalizing few inches from hers. Sighing, Veronica runs her hands through Logan's hair and leans her forehead on his.

"I'm not mad at you Logan. None of this is your fault I know that." He nods without making eye contact and steps away a bit so Veronica is only holding his dangling fingers. Veronica has been so adamant at telling him that Aaron's twisted pastime isn't his fault that he is almost beginning to believe it. Unfortunately, he doesn't believe her enough to dare gauge her sincerity.

"I'm just scared that one day he is going to go too far and…and I don't know I just can't stand the thought of you in pain. Can you understand that?" Veronica continues. Reluctantly Logan nods and Veronica takes a deep breath. "There are ways to make him pay, make him stop. Ways that won't require police or the media." Immediately, Logan lifts his head to respond but Veronica silences him and holds his hands. "I'm not going to force you to do anything Logan. I just need to you to think about it ok?" It seems a little funny to Logan that neither his teachers, mother or other family members ever 

threatened to make Aaron pay but Veronica did. The people who were designed by both nature and society to keep him safe had failed miserably but his pint-sized girlfriend was more than willing to declare war on the great Aaron Echolls. Someone suggesting he do something about Aaron should by all rights make him angry. Logan decided long ago he didn't need anyone to fight his battles for him. Shockingly, he's grateful for her promise of justice. It was sincere and non-judgmental, just a simple offer he knows will be carried out. Knowing she is nervous about how her comment will be received Logan gently rubs the crease in her forehead and kisses the tip of her nose.

"I'll think about it ok?" Logan agrees tentatively.  
"That's all I ask."  
"Now, no more talk of my father, I have far more exciting uses for this bathroom."  
"Really..waaa" Before she can finish her quip Logan devours her lips, back her into the counter. Veronica recovers from her initial shock and hooks her legs around his waist as he picks her up and seats her on the counter. His hand is snaking his way up her shirt when an uncomfortable cough comes from the doorway. For a moment their lips stay pressed on each other's and their eyes fly open as they make identical oh shit gestures. Veronica stealthily wipes her lip before hoping of the counter and pulling her shirt down.

"Hey Carmen." Veronica says, blushing fiercely as Logan smirks behind her.

"Hey I'm…uh…I can come back…" Carmen was already distressed about something and the added embarrassment of walking in on Neptune's golden couple didn't do anything for her nerves.

"It's alright." Logan says quickly. "I'm beyond tardy for my physics class and, if I remember correctly, time travel is not yet possible." Logan heads towards the door throwing a little smirk at Carmen who turns around still apologetic.

"Wallace told me you'd be in here." Carmen mentions as means of explanation.

"That reminds me, one of Michael Jordan's tardy excuse slips." Logan asks putting his hand out expectantly. Veronica hands it to him and he kisses her on the cheek before waving to Carmen and heading out the door.

Carmen tearfully recounts the humiliating clip of her pleasuring a Popsicle that her ex-boyfriend was planning to use against her.

"Do you think he's serious?" Veronica always remembered the couple as being super lovey-dovey. It seems unnaturally harsh to threaten her like this.

"I don't know, but I can't take the chance I need you to get me that phone Veronica." Veronica nods her agreement and rushes out to find Wallace to help her get Tad's phone.

"Wallace." Veronica says quickly grabbing his arm through a throng of students. He jumps 3 feet in the air before placing a grateful hand over his heart and breathing deeply. "Woah…Didn't mean to scare you." She says with a smirk holding her hands up in Logan's signature gesture. "Are you ok?"

"I took Mac out last night. Her parents came home to find us making out on the couch. I've been expecting a riffle being shoved in my face ever since then." He says with a grimace as he opens his locker. Despite Wallace's stricken expression Veronica can't help but chuckle a little.

"Well my Dad hasn't killed Logan yet so I think you're safe from Mac's father." At that moment Carmen's piece of crap boyfriend – exboyfriend?- starts walking down the hall. "Hey can you help me with a bump and bait here?" Wallace nods and plays along with Veronica's airhead routine as she backs in to Tad and makes the switch. Carmen is just one confiscation away from freedom.

"Ready Babe?" Logan says coming up behind in her and planting a kiss on her cheek. "My Dad's driver picked up the rust bucket so I am your chauffer."  
"Can you wear a funny hat?" The only response Veronica gets is a turned-up nose followed by a deep kiss. "My alternator should act up more often." She whispers breathily. "Come on champ we have a Kane to track down." Logan wordlessly grabs her bag and her hand leading her out to the Xterra.

Logan has become a more permanent fixture at Mars Investigations ever since Duncan went missing. Despite, or maybe because, of his pampered lifestyle Logan has a bullshit detector that can rival Keith Mars and surpasses Veronica's. She has only been jaded and cynical for a year or two, Logan was probably born thinking his doctor wanted an autograph. The time has significantly softened Keith towards Logan. It started with that first flinch. Being in law enforcements for 20+ years , Keith has seen his share of child abuse and dealt with a fair number of children he was sure were just keeping quiet, so he knew. Really, it wasn't the actual flinch, it was the look in Logan's eyes afterwards, a rare mixture of shame, bravado and hurt that unwittingly sold his story to Keith. The damn flinch forced him to casting Logan as a jackass and look at him as person, with actual depth. It was even more surprising when Keith liked what he saw.

"Hey Dad." Veronica chirps dragging Logan in to the office by his hand.

"Mr. Mars." If someone could be cocky and shy at the same time that would be Logan, leaning against the doorframe, smirking a little while keeping his eyes slightly downcast.

"Any news on Duncan?" A dismal shake of the head causes both parties to sigh miserably. "Mac is still working the eBay angle. I know Duncan doesn't seem like…" A soft humming that comes across as creepy to the younger members of the room cuts Veronica off and all three people stare at Alicia Fennel.

"Hi Mr. Mars" Her expression is so drippy that Veronica wants to wipe the stupid smile of her face but she settles, instead, for sharing a slight eye-roll with Logan. "Hi you two. How's school."

"Hi Mrs. Fennel its…fine." Veronica says with a tight, awkward smile as Logan gives an a-ok gesture and backs out of the room with a newspaper. The gym bag stares Veronica in the face and she tries to ask them where they're headed only to be made by an evasive 'out'.

"Ah, alone at last." Logan says with a lecherous grin. Slowly he walks her back to the couch, kissing the hollow of her throat.

"What do you think my Dad and Alicia do every Wednesday that requires an overnight bag?" The disgust in her voice is so evident that Logan doesn't know whether to be concerned or laugh.

"Uh…play Bingo? I hear it's big these days." With a smile that borders on sympathetic, Logan wipes the bangs from her forehead and kisses her forehead.

"The best way to deal with things like this is pretend they don't exist." With a determined nod, she sandwiches Logan's face and kisses him long and hard. Good thing she has a super hot boyfriend to distract her from the evils of relationships gone wrong.

"Wow you guys really do a lot of that." In a moment of surprise Veronica goes to jumps off the couch and ends up falling hard on to the floor causing Logan to erupt in unfeeling laughter. The death glare she sends him does nothing to quell his hysteria and she rolls her eyes at Carmen.

"Boyfriends suck." Veronica says landing a punch square on Logan's shoulder.  
"Oh I'm sorry did you want me to pretend that hurt." Logan says casually.

"Yours is better than mine." The regretful smile on Carmen's face causes the laughter to cease. "So did it work?"

"Success." Relief is written all over Carmen's features as she gratefully takes the phone.

"You didn't watch it, did you?" This is directed more towards Logan who just raises his hands in innocence. He tried to bribe Veronica into letting him watch it but she had smacked him upside the head and refused. Of course he was joking…mostly.

"You saved my life Veronica." Logan watches with affection as Veronica gives a humble smile and informs Carmen that the guy might have the raw file. Carmen had definitely been a member of the anti-Veronica movement following Lilly's death. Not being exceptionally mean or vocal by nature, the Latino princess didn't do a whole lot on her own but Tad did and she always stood by him. It wasn't until that moment Logan realized how forgiving Veronica was. He probably should have realized it when she shrugged off a year's worth of petty insults and pranks but seeing her, sympathizing with a girl who sneered at her, makes his heart swell with pride.

They were enjoying a comfortable moment of satisfaction. Logan was staring at Veronica trying to figure out how he deserved her. Veronica was enjoying the symbolic nature of Carmen crushing Tad's phone with a statue of the lady of justice and Carmen was just happy. Of course, this is Neptune and life sucks and Tad did, in fact, think ahead and keep the raw file. A heavy, awkward silence fell over the room as a naked Carmen drifted on screen.

"You definitely are hot." Logan quips trying to break the tension. The only response is glares from the two other girls.

"Oh my god." Carmen's horrified voice rang out. "What am I going to do?"

"You need an exit strategy." An elaborate plan involving Seth, Neptune's token flamboyant gay student, and a fake website was set in motion in an effort to clear Carmen's name.

As soon as Carmen left, the couple retreated back to Veronica's apartment. Veronica and Logan have reached that point where they were beginning to take each other for granted. When Logan silently takes her books and presses a kiss to her temple, Veronica no longer flushes from flattery. For Logan's part, he no longer warms with surprise and amazement when she tenderly cups his cheek. This development is inevitable and healthy. Veronica no longer flushes because she expects Logan to treat her well and Logan is no longer surprised at her tenderness because he trusts she'll be there for him. Seeing Tad's despicable behavior reawakened them to how lucky they were as they lay, snuggled on the couch.

This is the second time Keith comes home to Logan and Veronica intertwined on the couch. Still not accustomed to the pair, he stares at them thoughtfully remembering the first time he met Logan Echolls

_flashback_

_As much as Keith loves his daughter he does not love going to the stupid Parent-teacher meetings with her. It was the same every time: "Sheriff Mars you're daughter is an excellent student", "Sheriff Mars, Veronica is a delight to have in the class" blah blah blah. Nevertheless, he sits on the hard plastic chair outside the classroom as Veronica rattles on excitedly about how much she likes Mrs. Bell. The sound of a man's raised voice permeates through the wall and Veronica stops talking to listen as some parent gives out to their child._

_Moments later a lanky, but nevertheless good-looking boy, is shoved out of the classroom looking pale and frightened as the parent apologetically promises to discipline his son. Veronica hops off her chair and runs over to the kid who smiles almost gratefully at her as she charms the father with innocent questions._

"_Daddy." She calls dragging the boy over. "This is my friend Logan Echolls."  
"Echolls I've heard that name somewhere." Keith thinks for a moment not noticing the darkening across the boy's face. "Echolls that's right you play on the soccer team with Veronica don't you?" Logan is completely taken aback at having his name recognized for something so common, yet something only he accomplished. With a broad smile he shakes Keith's hand before dropping his head and returning to his yelling father._

_end flashback_

Keith knew how close the boy was with Duncan Kane as well. When Veronica still dated Duncan, Keith would often hear his daughter and Lilly Kane grumble that Duncan and Logan should friggin date each other because the girls had been ditched for guy time. Duncan's disappearance couldn't have been easy on the kid. Sighing Keith walks over to Veronica and gently shakes her awake.

"Honey, you're bed is that way." He says with faux-cheer. The look on Veronica's face is priceless but Keith gently stops her before he wakes up Logan.  
"Let him sleep he's obviously tired." The fading black eye from Weevil increases the look of utter exhaustion on Logan's face and Keith is willing to bet this is the first goodnights sleep he's gotten in awhile. Veronica gives Keith a look of surprise and he just gives a non-committal shrug. When Veronica is in her room Keith looks at Logan for a moment then reluctantly pulls a blanket over his sleeping form wondering when the hell he started caring about Logan friggin Echolls.

Logan wakes with a heavy weight on his chest. No, not metaphorically, literally a huge heavy thing was on him. In a half-asleep haze Logan's attempts to process this and is promptly licked by said weight.

"Veronica?" He groans in confusion. Why was she licking him? And why did she smell so bad?

"Is that a covert way of telling me I need to hone my kissing technique?" Veronica's playful taunt causes him to open his eyes to be faced with…Back-up. Logan whistles sharply and points to the ground causing Back-up to immediately hop down. Veronica, on the other hand, was in the kitchen pouring a bowl of cereal. He was about to quip when suddenly he realizes that he is in Veronica's apartment, in the morning, and Keith wasn't in Texas.

"Your dad is going to have my balls." He yelps immediately jumping up only to get an amused glance from Veronica.

"Considering he was the one who checked you in to Hotel Mars, I think you're good." Now that's a jaw-dropper. "He's also at work. Your balls are safe." Logan sighs in relief and Veronica brings him over a breakfast of Cocoa Puffs.

"So can you drive me to pick up my car from the impound yard?"

"Why don't we just get my driver to pick it up?" It is Saturday and all Logan wants to do is make-out on the couch.

"I want to talk to Weevil." A skeptic glance from Logan makes her rolls her eyes and fake confidence. There is no way Weevil would have hurt Lilly…right? However, Logan is less convinced and insists on accompanying her in to the impound yard. For some reason, the sight of Weevil fixing a car and throwing them a lazy smile convinces Veronica he's not the guy. He's too comfortable, too calm in front of her and Logan to have done it. Plus, he knew Veronica was coming close to solving the crime. If he really did it, she'd probably be dead. To add to the evening's excitement, Weevil informs Veronica that a beat-up Impala was bought by a certain missing ex-boyfriend. She nods her thanks and drags Logan away before he can find some reason to beat on Weevil.

"Hey Dad, do you have a pen I have a lead for Duncan's car." She and Logan hop into the car as Keith quickly roots throughout his desk. "A '69 Impala California license plate 6GU C788 and he bought it for 800 cash a couple weeks ago. Love you too bye."

"It's always business with you." Logan quips as they drive back to his estate. Mac and Wallace meet them there and both couples decide to take the day off sleuthing. Instead they watch movies and curl up on the over-stuffed couches. Since Mac and Veronica insist on 'Legally Blonde' Wallace hides behind a basketball magazine and Logan flips, impassively, through a newspaper.  
"Hey Veronica did you see this?" Half-asleep Veronica is stretched on the couch with her head in Logan's lap. She barely acknowledges the newspaper being shoved in front of her until Logan points to the advertisement saying that legal proceedings have begun in Leanne Mars' name.

If you had asked Veronica 2 years ago if her father would divorce her mother on grounds of abandonment she would have laughed at you and gave you one of her mother's homemade cookies. The fact that Leanne had been such a good mother for so long makes the sting worse. With concerned glances from the other three people in the room, Veronica quickly dials Cliff to get the lowdown on the divorce laws. The advertisement has to run for 7 days before Keith could petition for divorce, Leanne's ran for 6.

"Are you ok?" Logan asks with concern when she hangs up.

"Our parents are at the Dunnes Hotel, we could go find them." Mentions Wallace, equally concerned. A hotel…lovely. Could she really do that to her Dad? Petulantly demand he stop seeing Alicia, the first woman he seems to really care about since Leanne. He deserved to be with a woman he loves and a woman who loves him.

"No. He's happy." Veronica whispers softly, curling into Logan who just holds her closer. Moments later she declares she has to go help Carmen with the phone call to Tad and develop the pictures she and Logan had quickly snapped on the way back from picking up the LeBaron.

After the disturbing almost phone-sex between Carmen and Tad, Veronica quickly prepares dinner only to be interrupted by her father who gleefully exclaims that Duncan's car has been spotted outside Tijuana. She is even more surprised when he mentions that he already called Logan who is sleeping on the couch while he is away. At least her Dad's share of the chicken won't go to waste.

"We should go out." Logan comments as he strokes her hair.  
"Um…I thought that was kind of established."

"No I mean like I should take you on a real date." Instead of commenting Veronica just presses her head to his neck and strokes his arm. "So what do you think of us skipping school Tuesday for a little ride on Dad's boat? Dinner and a movie?"

"Sounds nice." Logan may not be Romeo but he definitely knows how to treat a woman. During the school day Veronica finds little notes in her locker or wedged in her textbook. He always orders her favorites for lunch and never skimps on cuddling. She hadn't even noticed they didn't really 'go out' much but it was like Logan to feel the need to go big. Not that she is complaining of course. To be honest she kind of likes the way Logan pampers her.

Wanting to do more on Duncan's case on Sunday, Veronica fires the website off to Tad in an email with an accompanying warning note that every plebe at Annapolis would get the same email should he choose to expose Carmen.

"Good morning." Veronica says gleefully running up to a newly free Carmen.

"It is isn't it?" The threat of sending the website detailing Tad's 'special relationship' with Seth was surely enough to hold off the Neanderthal jackass and finally allowed Carmen to breathe.

"Hey Carmen?" With a big smile Carmen turns around to acknowledge one of the football jocks. "Are you hungry?"

"No." Veronica suddenly gets the feeling that this is going to end very badly.

"Cause I thought you might want to suck on my popsicle." The girls exchange horrified looks as they realize what this means. Their least favorite amateur pornographer pushed the button and dragged Carmen's name through the mud.

School was hell for Carmen. People had downloaded the clip onto their phones and she couldn't go anywhere without some jerk offering her a frozen dessert. At Veronica's insistence, Logan instructed the 09ers that Carmen was to be left alone and the video wasn't to be watched. Weevil hit a few of the more obnoxious jerks to quell the frequency of insults but nothing can stop Carmen from sobbing her eyes out in the back of the computer lab. She doesn't strike back though, just rolls with the punches and deletes the incriminating email leaving Veronica sitting in shock. A moment after Carmen leaves the room the sound of the video being played streams in to Veronica ears and she quickly rushes over to stop the freshmen boys from oogling her

"Oh my god." Veronica whispers to herself as she looks at the paused video. Those stars and Chinese lamps were amongst the only things she remembers from that night. Sure, the morning was clear. Popping a morning after pill because the stickiness on the inside of her leg was clearly someone else's, a trip to the gynecologist's office where they told her she was raped and tried to get her to go to counseling, the awful visit with Lamb. Veronica remembers the morning alright; she will carry it around with her forever. The night, on the other hand, was a little hazy.

In a daze Veronica drives home, not even remembering to give Logan his usual goodbye kiss. Did her and Carmen not remember the same night? If so she was a hell of a lot closer to getting the answers she thought she'd lost forever. She sits down at her Mars Investigations desk and takes a deep breath trying to collect her thoughts as her Dad rattles on about Duncan.

"Roberto Nalvandian." Mac's voice rings out from the hallway. Grateful for the distraction Veronica turns to her with a smile.

"Who's Roberto Nalvandian?"  
"I have no idea."  
"Ok so then you'll forgive me if, as of yet, I am unimpressed."

"I don't know who he is but I do not his Argentinean passport was shipped to the airport Marriot a week ago." After few moments of joking around Veronica finally works up the courage to ask Mac about the time stamp on Carmen's video. August 7, 2004. Veronica was right, her and Carmen were both drugged at Shelley's party.

The next day Veronica runs to school early to drop of an English report before her date with Duncan. Not surprisingly, the bikers taped Tad to the pole Wallace-style. After a moments banter she opens her switchblade to cut him down.

"I want a simple answer to a simple question." Willing to do anything to prevent the school from seeing him in this situation Tad nods in agreement. "Who gave you the Rohypnol the night of Shelley Pomeroy's party? I know you ruffied your girlfriend. Class with a capital K." Tad doesn't answer and Veronica shuts her switchblade and looks like she is about to walk away.

"Wait…It wasn't Rohypnol, it was GHB." Veronica glares at him and he continues hesitantly. "It was Logan Echolls."

**!!PLEASE REVIEW!!**

**Thank you for those who have already reviewed…I am thinking of doing a sequel (ie rewriting season 2). However this will only happen if the interest is there. Anyways I would love to hear what you guys would like to have happen in my 'season 2' (obviously there will be no DuVe as that doesn't really work with what I have set up for the characters). **


	21. Explain something to me

Veronica had all intention of standing Logan up. She even went to half her first period English class that is how sure she was. Could he really have done it? It seems so long ago that he hated her with that level of ferocity. Really, it's amazing that a loving caress and a few soft-spoken words had managed to distort her reality to this level. Did he date her so she wouldn't think it was him? A swell of nausea rises in her esophagus and she hurls again in the toilet. She needs answers, now.

Instead of heading back to class, she heads to the LeBaron and drives to the Albacore Club. She's only 15 minutes late by the time she arrives and she sees Logan's anxious face break out into a relieved smile when he sees her. He hops off the boat with a flourish.

"I was worried you stood me up." He says it with a mischievous grin and a hint of sarcasm, like he knows she would never stand him up but worried anyways. "I was about to pop the champagne and drown my sorrows." He reaches to take Veronica's hand and kiss her cheek but she immediately pulls away. His initially cheerful expression morphs to concern. "What's wrong?" A single tear rolls down her cheek and Logan instinctively moves to wipe it away.

"Don't touch me." She growls causing Logan to immediately jerk back his hand. Logan isn't a stranger to Veronica Mars being pissed off. She yells and threatens but she never ever cries and he's not sure whether he should be getting defensive or preparing himself for some really bad news.

"What happened?" Something tells him to keep his distance and he stays a large step away from her.

"I need you to explain something to me." Grateful she's speaking an actual sentence Logan nods somberly, urging her to continue. "Explain to me why you were the one with the drugs the night of Shelley Pomroy's party when someone drugged and raped me. "

Rape? Of all the things Logan imagined hearing this one never came up. There are so many intense emotions vying for position on his face that all he can do is gape. All he can imagine is a blonder, sweeter Veronica, unconscious and groaning in protest as someone used her as a warm blow-up doll.

"You were raped?" His words barely rise above a pained whisper as he remembers the slut comments he spent the better part of the year assailing her with. Another tear trails down her cheek in response and he wants so badly to reach across and brush it away. He has to make this better. He has to protect this fragility he didn't know she possessed. "What happened to you?" Talking, talking is good right? Logan is sure he remembers reading something in some book that talking about traumatic events is the first step.

"You tell me." Now his jaw almost hits the floor. There is no way she could think he was that big of an asshole.

"Wait…wait a minute you think I…" Memories of salt licks, sun-loungers and angry Duncan fill Logan's mind and his mouth goes dry.

"I was told that you were the one with the drugs the night of Shelley Pomroy's party." Veronica has tears running down her cheek but Logan is the only one of the two who notices.

"Yeah." He says gently taking a tentative step towards her. "I got some Liquid X when I was in Tijuana with Luke and Sean. It wasn't for…We were just going to have some fun." It sounds lame even to Logan's ears and Veronica's features harden even more.

"Fun." She says indignantly. "Like sex with unconscious people fun."

"Of course not." His voice is low and gentle like he is talking to a skittish animal. Carefully he takes another step forward and breathes in relief when she doesn't back away. "We were supposed to go to a rave in Sacramento the next weekend." Another tears rolls down Veronica's face but he can tell she is listening to him and he takes another step towards her. "Luke couldn't go because of baseball practice so the he brought the drugs to Shelley's instead." He is right in front of her now. If he dares he can reach out and touch her. "I gave mine to Duncan and went home with Cindy Tompkins. She can confirm my alibi." Slowly Logan reaches into his pocket for his cell phone and cues it to Cindy's number in his address book. "It wasn't me Veronica. I would never hurt anyone like that, especially not you, not even then." Veronica looks between Logan's neutral face and the cell phone with a quivering lip and starts to cry honest sobs instead of unheeded tears.

Before he can convince himself otherwise, Logan wraps his arms around her body, grateful as she leans into him. Finally, her arms snake around his back and hold him tight as well. Veronica's knees buckle slightly and Logan picks her up before she can catch herself and carries her onto the boat. He settles her back on his lap and she immediately nestles her face into her neck as her sobs subside.

"It's gonna be ok." He promises because he's going to make it ok if it's the last thing he does. She sniffs hard and wipes her eyes.

"I know." He nestles her closer kissing her hair as she intertwines their fingers. The whole catastrophic afternoon is just beginning to really sink in for Logan. He allowed someone to hurt her that badly. Not directly, even at his most grotesquely cruel Logan would never be involved in the rape of a woman. His permission to hurt Veronica through whatever means necessary was given the moment he put her out on a sun-lounger and licked salt off of her. Wisely, he decides to leave that piece of information until they are at sea so she won't run away on him.

Half-way to Catalina Island he parks the boat and comes up behind Veronica and wraps his arms around her.

"I have something to tell you, about Shelley's." Veronica swallows nervously and Logan tells the story of the salt lick uncertainly. When he finishes, she squeezes her eyes shut and takes a deep breath.

"Thank you for being honest." She looks away, tear-filled eyes betraying her disappointment. Gently, he reaches up and cups her face, turning her damp cheek towards him.

"I'm sorry. It wasn't meant to go any further and Duncan whisked you away a moment later. God I'm an idiot." With all the gentleness Logan can muster, he takes both of her hands and brushes a kiss over her knuckles.

"I'm just glad you're here." They both relax each other's embrace before Logan turns them back towards the dock.

"Can I ask you something?" Veronica knew this moment was going to come. The smile never quite made it to Logan's eyes now and his laughter was forced. After the boat trip that didn't quite make it to Catalina, they had gotten take-out and are now lounging in Veronica's parent-free apartment hoping for a call from Duncan. Reluctantly, Veronica nods and puts down her chop-sticks. "Did you ever report it?" He takes Veronica silence as a no and continues softly "Veronica you have to report this."

"Did you report your father yet?" She retorts, a challenge in her eyes.

"Veronica my father only hurts me…this guy could…I don't know ok I don't want to push you…" He reaches for her had then pulls away at the last moment not knowing how he was meant to touch her or even talk to her now. It wasn't that he felt differently towards her. That definitely wasn't it, Logan was 99.9 sure he was in love with Veronica, he didn't want to hurt her.

"I did report it." She says bitterly. "Turns out Lamb is actually Satan's evil twin." Catching on to her meaning Logan's jaw drops and he shakes her head in disgust. Smiling a little Veronica crawls on to his lap. Hesitantly, Logan places a hand on her cheek and another on her back to pull her slightly closer. Veronica smiles at him gently and kisses him hard. It's a long of teeth and tongue and hormones and Logan really wants to slip her hand inside her shirt but he's not sure that's allowed now. Her tiny hand guides his to her chest and he goes with it.

"Are you sure. Veronica I don't want to push you."

"You're so serious." Veronica replies with a fake-grumpy face on. Changing her mood she smiles sweetly and kisses the concerned crease in between his eyes. "Logan, we've already done this and more. Look it happened a long time ago and, to be honest, I don't want it to rule my life. So please, shut up and kiss me like I know you want to."

The next day is awful. Shelley Pomroy's party happened the first weekend of summer so Veronica had 2 months to think about the fact that whoever raped her could be in her class, could the one spreading rumors, could be the one who posted pictures of her, passed out and half-naked on her locker. Now that party is fresh in her mind and all the boys, except for two, feel like suspects.

"Hey Meg, did you hear that Duncan's been found." Meg turns from her locker with a happy smile.

"I did…but he's on probation right now. Who just runs away from their girlfriend." Considering Veronica was about to do the same with Logan yesterday, she just shrugs with a smile.

"Maybe Logan's proclivity for drama has rubbed off on him." Or maybe he has a terrible ex-girlfriend who accused him of killing his sister. "So I have a question for you. Do you remember Shelley's end of the year party?" Meg's demeanor shifts and she tells Veronica about the salt lick. God Logan's an idiot. She gives Meg a thankful smile and walks to her next 09er resource.

"Hey Luke"

"Veronica Mars." He reaches out to give her a high-5 and Veronica returns it with a smile. The two weren't close but Luke and Veronica had come to an understanding of sorts during the steroid scandal. Logan told Veronica that Luke had stuck up for her numerous times in front of other 09ers, something big for Luke considering he was somewhat of a pacifist.

"I heard you scored some GHB in TJ, last year around the time of Shelley's." Luke thinks for a moment then nods.

"Yeah, but I don't have any now."

"I was going to spike your juice box and have my way with you." She says with a smile trying not to think of the irony of that statement "What did you do with it."

"Gave it to Dick Casablancas. Anyways he asked for 2 doses so I figure he was going to take one and ask Madison to take the other." Luke says with a wan smile. "But I'm pretty sure she didn't." Luke explains the car (at least one mystery is solved) and Veronica hurries to find Madison. Across the quad Logan eyes her worriedly then gets up to follow, just far enough away that she won't notice.

Five minutes later a pale-faced Veronica leaves the girls washroom. Logan pretends to be looking through his locker but can't fool Veronica who forces a smile on her face.

"Hi"

"Hey, how are you?" She sighs and leans against his chest as he plants a long kiss on the top of her head.

"Better now." He tilts his chin up towards him and gives her an understanding smile before shifting to a lighter topic.

The Kane's were keeping Duncan under lock and key for the time being so Veronica wasn't able to go hit him repeatedly over the head for his stupidity. Instead she entered school Thursday looking for Casey, whom she supposedly made-out with. Casey confirms Madison's story just editing out the bias Madison threw in there. Dick made-out with her, that she can handle, I mean it's high school. Unfortunately the story about being fed shots by Dick and Sean didn't sit well with her.

Later on Wallace and Logan walk down the hallway to find Veronica scrubbing out her locker.

"This is why I need to leave my walkie-talkies in the car, muck!"

"Really that's why? Because I find I hardly need my walkie talkies at school at all." Wallace says with a playful smile, not noticing the concern on Logan's face. "Look I gotta go get my woman I'll talk to you later."

"As long as you never call her your woman again." Veronica grins still scrubbing her locker furiously. Logan gently places a hand on her shoulder and she tenses immediately.

"Not right now Logan."

"Veronica it's clean." He whispers softly before hugging her from behind and discreetly taking the cloth from her. "It's perfect, ok?" She nods and gives a wobbly smile before shoving her books back in. "There it's disorganized again. Happy Mr. Sloppy."

"Mr. Sloppy?" He gives her a kiss as the bell rings "Let me know if you need anything."

"A pony!" He rolls his eyes and goes in to his Biology class. Changing her demeanor from flirty to pissed off Veronica storms in and pushes herself into Sean's face. Apparently Dick put her in a guest bedroom for Beaver. _If I lost my virginity to Beaver I'm really not going to be pleased _Veronica thinks with a groan as she walks over to Logan after school.

"Dick likes his new surfboard right?" Logan gives her a confused look.  
"It's practically his child."  
"Good." Before Logan can say anything else Veronica plunks the surfboard out of Dick's truck and places it in front of her wheel.

"Hiya Dick how's it going." Logan stands back and Dick shoots him a glare as he stares at his surfboard in dismay. With a small smirk Logan watches Veronica needle Dick.

"Don't go blaming me because you got all wasted and slutty." That moment Logan's fist connects hard enough with Dick's jaw to send him flying on the pavement and Veronica crushes his board to smithereens.

"Dick you say another word against Veronica and I'll make you wish you were that surfboard got it?" Dick looks from Veronica to Logan in a bit of surprise.

"Dude she just broke my surfboard. Over a stupid party who even cares." Both Logan and Veronica send him hard looks and he stomps off.

"Veronica…"

"I have to find Beaver." She says quickly pushing past Logan. How is he friends with these people?

It is very appropriate that Beaver is named after a creature native to Canada and therefore naturally against conflict. The moment Veronica shows up at his locker he nearly shits himself. His story both proves that Logan left early, something that calms Veronica considerably and he sounds pretty innocent.

Since Logan has to have a "day-with-his-father" Veronica is able to clean to her heart's content. She is scrubbing the drawers when her Dad comes in with a fax stating that the entertainment lawyer he's been tracking is in Las Vegas and he needs to leave ASAP.

Half-way through her second drawer her phone rings.

"Hey guess who's father is going to Las Vegas." Logan is silent on the other line and Veronica looks at the phone for a second "Hello? Logan?"  


"When's my birthday?"  
"September 12th, is senility kicking in already?" She replies with a little giggle.  
"Nope I was just seeing if you remembered."  
"Uh pretty sure Lilly's marathonesque shopping sprees for the occasion has the event firmly implanted in my mind. Plus I've known you since you were 12 how can I forget your birthday." Logan chuckles softly on the other line.  
"Look I have to talk to Carrie, I'll call you later."  
"OK bye…and Veronica."  
"Hm?"  
"Thank you." There is a soft click and Veronica stares at the phone for a moment in confusion _Weirdest phone call ever._

After a bit of begging Carrie finally agrees to answer her questions.  
"Did you see me?"  
"I saw you in the room kissing some guy." Veronica's blood turns to ice.  
"What guy?"

"Veronica what's wrong?" Duncan says in alarm. His anger wore off through the trip to Cuba and even if it hadn't, the sight of Veronica this distressed would still concern him.

"It was you." Still not catching on Duncan reaches for her only to have his hand slapped away. "How could…Duncan I thought…How could you do something like this to me."

"I didn't run because I was mad at you Veroni…"

"That is not what I am talking about Duncan." He blinks in surprise.

"Ok, let's go inside." Veronica shakes her head no adamantly. "Veronica please I don't understand."

"You raped me." Duncan's jaw drops in disbelief as Veronica continues to sob.

"First I'm a murderer and now I'm a rapist?" The anger suddenly fades away and he suddenly speaks softly. "Wait a minute, you were raped?"

"You would know." Convinced his sudden concern is an act Veronica steps away from his touch. "Shelley Pomroy's party. Carrie Bishop said she walk in on us kissing. "

"Yeah" Duncan says. "I found you in the guest bedroom and I missed you and god Veronica you were beautiful and I kissed you." Veronica gasps in horror and is about to bolt before Duncan gently grabs her arm. "But then I remembered you were my sister and you were too wasted to function and I stopped. I spent what was left of the night in the chair. With Lilly gone I wasn't in the mood to party and I didn't want anything to happen to you since you were so wasted. I left in the morning because it would have been awkward."

"Did anyone see you playing watch-dog that night?" Duncan looks a little offended but thinks for a moment.

" Yeah Amanda Paveley." Having the girl's number in her phone from a previous case Veronica dials it quickly, holding a steely gaze with Duncan the whole time.

"Hello?"

"Hi Amanda, it's Veronica Mars."

"Oh hey…what can I do for you?"

"Kind of an awkward question. Shelley Pomroy's party did you see Duncan Kane and I together in the guest bedroom."

"Yeah..well not together, together. He was drinking a sprite and reading War and Peace." Despite the severity of the situation Veronica snorts with laughter at the image. "Anyways you were asleep already."

"Thanks Amanda." The love Duncan feels for Veronica may not be romantic but it is still strong. She has become a sister to him. Someone he counts on for loyalty, support and love. God thinking back to Shelley's party was painful even without the knowledge she was raped. The wounded look in her eye when she saw Shelley kiss him, the way she grappled desperately to hold on to a piece of her past and only ended up losing her virginity makes him sick. Veronica hangs up the phone and nods at Duncan with a little smile.

"Someone raped you at Shelley Pomroy's party?" Veronica nods slowly and Duncan gently lifts her chin. "How are you?" Well this is certainly big for the guy who she was sure would hate her.

"Well enough to remember to shave." She says pointing to his beard. "Why did you run Duncan?" She asks softly. Quietly Duncan ushers her in to the Kane house and they go quickly up to his room.

"Don't tell Logan you were up here or he'll have my balls." Duncan grumbles good-naturedly as Veronica climbs on to his bed. She looks at him expectantly and finally he gives in "I thought you were going to take the information to Lamb. You certainly have evidence to back up your notion."

"Duncan I don't think you killed Lilly." Duncan looks up and her with a mix of surprise and relief. "I think your parents think you killed Lilly." Shock and indignation registers on Duncan's face and she continues.

"Think about it Duncan they found you having an epileptic fit. They covered up the murder. Do you remember what happened after they found you?" Realizing that her statement fits Duncan blinks in awe then shakes his head.

"No, those three days are completely gone." Veronica looks at him in surprise and he continues "I remember finding Lilly then it was three days later and I was in limo going to her funeral." Sympathetically, Veronica squeezes his hand then turns to leave.

"Hey Veronica." Duncan calls out as she walks out of his room. "If you need me, you know where to find me ok." Veronica gives him a watery smile then walks back into his embrace.

"Thank you for staying with that night..and from saving me from Logan's salt lick." She whispers a little bitterly.

"Oh yes the salt lick." He replies with a little laugh. "Well Logan tried to drug me afterwards, I think he thought I was being a killjoy." He suddenly turns serious. "It wasn't him, his portion of the GHB ended up on the grass." Veronica nods softly.

"Yeah, I know."

"If you find out who it is, you let me know ok. Some biblical justice will be delivered." Most people aren't lucky enough to have an ex-boyfriend who is still caring and protective. Duncan had Meg and Veronica had Logan but they also had each other to lean on and Veronica was grateful for that.

As glad as Veronica was that Duncan was innocent she knew that her resources had run dry. The case was too old and the clues to limited for her to find something definitive. She spent the last few days hearing what a slut she was and now she was back at the beginning. For the next year and a bit she was going to have to walk down the halls of Neptune High wondering what guy knew her anatomy better than Logan. All the thoughts of feeling dirty and used came back to her as she pulled up in front of Wallace's house near tears. As much as she trusted Logan right now she was pissed at him for the salt-lick and for leaving her there. Duncan had done the right thing but it had been too late and she didn't want him to feel guilty. The only non-judgmental, neutral party she had was Wallace.

"I was about to call the police on you stalker." Wallace says playfully as her face collapses. "Hey, what's going on?" He asks with concern as e quickly ushers her into the house. It felt good to tell Wallace, someone who wasn't pouring salt on her or saving her. He just listened as she cried about Logan's involvement and the fact that Duncan hadn't been able to save her.

"I better get to Logan's now."

"Maybe you should just stay here." Veronica hadn't been truly angry at Logan about the salt lick until his actions were so sharply contrasted with Duncan's. At that point in time Duncan had been angry at Veronica too but that didn't stop him from doing the good thing and sweeping down to her rescue.

"No I should go talk with him." Wallace nods in understanding. Logan Echolls had been in his good books but right now the guy is lucky he's not getting a fist in the face.

Veronica sits for at her Mars Investigations desk. She had forgone seeing Logan as was debating what she should do about him. Logan has changed and grown so much in the past year that the angry, shell of a boy he was at Shelley's is a distant memory. But still, a salt lick on a barely conscious girl he used to be friends with. Was it even possible to change that much in a year?

"Honey, are you ok?" Veronica gives a too bright nod and Keith looks at her with concern.

"Veronica whatever Logan's done I want you to remember something." Veronica looks up with surprise but Keith continues. "His father treated his mother like garbage and she let him. His main example of a male-female relationship was filled with abuse, adultery and indifference. All the proper ways to treat a woman, he's had to learn for himself and he seems like he's doing a damn good job." Veronica opens her mouth to speak but Keith holds his hands up. "I am not saying that you should allow him to treat you poorly because of this I'm just saying that you might have to be a little more understanding." Veronica nods solemnly.

"You know about the abuse." Logan is going to kill her. Keith sighs and sits down across from her.

"I was a cop for 20 years. I've been a PI for 2. I can spot child abuse a mile away."

"Why didn't you do anything." Veronica says in tears. Ambivalence from the ones who are supposed to protect you is a theme in her life right now and she doesn't want to believe her father could do the same. "You knew when we were kids? You knew and you let him go back to live with that bastard."

"No. I had my suspicions when you guys were children but I never had enough to launch an investigation or arrest anyone."

"So you just did nothing!" Veronica is on the verge of hysteria. "That man is horrible. Horrible. He turns Logan into a kicked puppy." Alarmed at the sudden burst of emotion, Keith puts his hands on Veronica's shoulders and speaks calmly.

"Veronica I'm working on it ok? It's something that'll take a little while." Veronica brushes the tears off her cheeks and nods. "Now go talk to your boyfriend because you obviously are still nuts about him"

20 minutes later Veronica pulls outside the Echolls estate. She was supposed to meet Logan here hours ago but called and left an evasive message about having to do 'stuff. Not being a complete idiot, Logan knew she was avoiding him but had played along understanding her need for space.

She found him in the pool house, restlessly blowing up animated characters. Both his score and his immediate notice of her entrance told her he had been worrying the afternoon away. For some reason that melted her heart a little as she gave him a half-smile.

"I'm mad at you." Veronica says calmly from the doorway. Logan pauses the game and nods guiltily. "I wasn't until I heard about Duncan's white knight routine and his attempts at protection." She walks over to the bed where he is hanging his head in shame and gently takes one of his hands. "But I'm going to chose to think of it as one of those not real things." The guilt doesn't disappear off his face but he looks up to meet her eyes. "I am going to chose to stop investigating this and let it go because that I need to be in control of something right now." Logan nods understandingly and gently runs a finger down her cheek.

"I'm the one who's responsible for what happened to you. I can't take that I hurt you like that. I can't take that I hurt you at all, all I want to do is protect you." Veronica leans in and kisses him feeling the honesty in his kiss.

"You were honest, and you know how important that is to me." She straddles him and gently pushes him back onto the bed.

"Do you still trust me?" Veronica holds his head between her hands looking at the vulnerability in his eyes.

"Yes." Moments later their clothes are shed except for a few undergarments and the intensity of their make-out is making them both breathless.

"Logan?"

"Mhm" He mumbles between the kisses on her chest.

"Let's have sex." Logan immediately stops kissing her, pulls back to look in her eyes then gives her a chaste kiss.

"We don't have to." This hasn't exactly been the easiest day for his girlfriend and he is not about to be the asshole boyfriend who pressures her to have sex.

"I want to. I trust you."  
"Are you sure?"  
"I'm sure."

After-glow, it seems, is a truly beautiful thing. Veronica curls onto Logan's chest contentedly as pulls the duvet more securely around them.  
"We should totally do that more often." Veronica says with a grin. Logan smiles proudly and holds her tighter, kissing the top of her head.  
"I agree." They fall in to comfortable silence as Veronica allows herself to be seduced to a half-asleep state by Logan's even breathing. Luckily, she isn't lying on his heart which right now is pounding a mile a minute. If she was fully awake she would have noticed the light sweat break out over his face as he rages with a fierce internal debate.

"Veronica?" She senses the nerves in his voice and she looks up, with a concerned face. "I love you." The only two people he has said those words to are dead. The only other person he loves he hasn't told because, well, teenage guys don't tell each other love each other even If they mean it in a strictly fraternal sense. Obviously, he was a little worried about how this uncommon sentiment would be received.

"I love you too." Veronica says with a blush, intertwining their fingers. For all the times Logan has said I love you he has only heard it from his mother. The second time Aaron hit Logan he was mad at his father but he was furious at his mother. Full of rage and disappointment he had respond to her apologies and declarations of love with a venomous 'I hate you'. She never told him that she loved him again. He told Lilly he loved her and she had smiled and screwed his brains out. He asked her if she loved him once and she had looked up from her magazine with an unsure smile and said Mhmm. Not her most convincing argument. So when Logan told Veronica he loved her, he was expecting a smile or a nod, at 

the very most me too, he never expected the sentiment to be echoed. After all he hadn't heard the words in over nine years.

Unaware of the sheer power of her words Veronica is surprised to see Logan quickly blink back tears and inhale sharply.

"Logan?" She lets her fingers glide across his face softly and he closes his eyes in either pleasure or pain.

"Sorry I'm not used to the words being returned." Logan says with poorly faked indifference. Sympathetically, Veronica runs a soothing hand over his chest hoping he'll continue talking. It's like bleeding the poison out of a wound. "Last time I believe I was 8." Veronica inhales sharply not being able to imagine going nine years without being reassured in even his own mother's love.

"I love you." She says softly but firmly before kissing his forehead. "I love you." A light kiss to his neck makes him hold her closer. "I love you." She kisses the beginning slope of his shoulder and rests on top of him letting him hold her as tight as he can. After a moment she rolls to the side quietly as he nuzzles his nose in her hair, smelling her perfume.

"What's that?" She asks suddenly pointing to the fan.

"What's what?" Replies Logan, his voice raspy from disuse. "Surely you've seen a fan before Mars." He watches with confusion as Veronica slips on his large t-shirt and stands up to get a closer look at the lamp. She walks to the bookshelf and stares at it for a moment before looking up to the ceiling. With one swift motion she pushes the bookcase open with a shocked gasp.

"Logan, if this is some weird fetish of yours you'd better tell me now." Veronica squeaks out.

"Huh what are you…" She presses a button and the different screens flare up to reveal different camera angles of the bed. "What the fuck." Logan exclaims angrily "Veronica I had no idea…" Veronica just gives him a wary smile.

"The fact that I trust you hasn't changed in the past three minutes." Logan sits on the bed with disgust and shame written all over his face. Quickly Veronica takes the tape of her and Logan out of the recording device and smashes it to pieces. "Can we get out of here this place is giving me the creeps." Veronica says with a shudder. "Wait." She takes out her camera and quickly takes pictures of the activated, hidden TVs and the video cameras. Logan looks at her quizzically and she just shrugs. _Leverage for Logan's emancipation _she thinks to herself before grabbing Logan's hand tightly and lets him lead her to the Xterra.

Both their thoughts are swirling with graphic, disgusting images. Logan thinks of Lilly, Caitlin and Veronica all being showcased on his father's do it yourself porno. He certainly wasn't a big fan of Caitlin Ford but he didn't think she deserved to be filmed having sex without her knowledge. Lilly would probably have found the thought slightly thrilling but he still couldn't stand that thought of his father having countless tapes of Logan and Lilly's sexcapades. Thank god Veronica found the film. He reaches for Veronica's hand and she quietly intertwines their fingers.

When they arrive at the Mars' apartment, Logan opens the door for Veronica and goes to get back in the driver's seat. Worried he's going to confront his father Veronica quickly reaches for his hand nearly dragging him to the car. The ride home is silent and tense as Logan battle with the guilt and Veronica tries to decide whether she should laugh or cry at the ludicrously of the situation.

"Come see my Dad, he just caught that "entertainment lawyer" and wants to tell everyone the story." Logan looks at the apartment reluctantly. "The pool shack of love isn't your fault Logan." He nods then gives her a sweet peck on the cheek.

"Honey we're home." Veronica shouts opening the door.  
"So am I honey." Shock crosses both of Logan and Veronica's faces as they stare at Leanne Mars.

**PLEASE REVIEW...all your reviews have been much appreciated the sequel will be LoVe...eventually because fics arent fun without angst**


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